My Mom isn't coming to my shower...

Sorry if this is long, but I am so upset and disappointed I have to vent.

I basically had to plan my shower myself. I have three sisters, but they aren't very close and there is also some bad blood/drama thrown into the mix. They threw me a bridal shower for my wedding, but I heard that it was a horror to plan. They also dont have a lot of money, so I figured I would do a lot of the leg work and one of my sisters helped out a lot.

My Mom is in a wheelchair, so I specifically looked for a place that would accommodate her. It wasn't my favorite/first choice of venues, but it was comfortable for her, so I went with it.

So my shower is approaching and last night I hear that one of my sisters can't find childcare for her two kids. I call my Mom and she tells me, well I'm just going to stay with the kids so that she can go. I was furious. After my mother realized how angry I was, she started backtracking and saying that she wasn't sure what was going on and maybe they would both be able to go and they weren't sure etc. Meanwhile, my shower is on saturday and I have to give a headcount and two other people already canceled.

My sister calls me today and tells me that she is going to be there and I ask if my Mom is going and she says no that my mom isn't "feeling well" and that's why she is not going. I told her that I think she's not going to babysit her kids and she gets all upset saying "it's not about that, she's really sick etc." Meanwhile this sister lives out in Suffolk, doesn't drive and sees my Mom about 3X a year (we live in brooklyn) while I visit my Mom 2-3X per week, so I think I should know if my Mom is sick or not. This sister also had two baby showers that were attended by my mom.

I am really hurt that I did all of this planning for my own shower b/c my sisters could not get it together for one afternoon. I tried to accommodate my mom and she is backing out to accommodate my sister's inability to plan for herself. I have three sisters and a mom and only two sisters are coming to my baby shower. It's not only sad, but a little embarrassing.

I am just so hurt right now. I know I have to pull myself together and act fake and happy for tomorrow, but I will always remember this event with a twinge of sadness.

Re: My Mom isn't coming to my shower...

Re: My Mom isn't coming to my shower...

Im sorry!!

Couldnt your sisters inlaws sit for her kids instead of your mom?

Re: My Mom isn't coming to my shower...

I'm so sorry you're going through this

Re: My Mom isn't coming to my shower...

Posted by BabySammie

Im sorry!!

Couldnt your sisters inlaws sit for her kids instead of your mom?

Re: My Mom isn't coming to my shower...

I'm sorry you're so disappointed - It is unfair and you ahve every right to be mad and upset and hurt and, and, and -

Unfortunately, there's always one sibling that's looked at as the 'capable' one, and the one parents feel they need to 'take care of' more - no matter how old we get !
You're obviously the one your Mom feels can take care of yourself, no need to fuss over, blah blah (this is me also.......my sister is MUCH more hypersensitive and needy) - NOT that she's incapable she's just needy and my Mom automatically does things for her I'd never even consider ASKING her to do for me ......

NOT to say it's right, but sometimes it really just is what it is ........and you end up getting 'punished' so to speak for NOT being a PITA !! -

Re: My Mom isn't coming to my shower...

Posted by MarisaK

I'm sorry you're so disappointed - It is unfair and you ahve every right to be mad and upset and hurt and, and, and -

Unfortunately, there's always one sibling that's looked at as the 'capable' one, and the one parents feel they need to 'take care of' more - no matter how old we get !
You're obviously the one your Mom feels can take care of yourself, no need to fuss over, blah blah (this is me also.......my sister is MUCH more hypersensitive and needy) - NOT that she's incapable she's just needy and my Mom automatically does things for her I'd never even consider ASKING her to do for me ......

NOT to say it's right, but sometimes it really just is what it is ........and you end up getting 'punished' so to speak for NOT being a PITA !! -

Re: My Mom isn't coming to my shower...

Re: My Mom isn't coming to my shower...

that really stinks. due to the circumstances, couldnt your sisters kids just come, so that everyone could be there?

Re: My Mom isn't coming to my shower...

i'm sorry how old are the kids...can they just come so that your mom can be there...it may be an "inconvience" to your sister...but so be it...the day is about you, not her.

Re: My Mom isn't coming to my shower...

Why cant your sister bring her kids to the shower?

Re: My Mom isn't coming to my shower...

I am so sorry...

Why not let the kids just go then... This way your mom is there....

Re: My Mom isn't coming to my shower...

Re: My Mom isn't coming to my shower...

I hope you still have a WONDERFUL day regarless and feel loved surrounded by all those who come to share in your happiness!

Re: My Mom isn't coming to my shower...

Re: My Mom isn't coming to my shower...

OMG I am so sorry about this...I really hope you can enjoy yourself that day!!!!, Is there any way she can bring the kids so your mom can come?

Re: My Mom isn't coming to my shower...

Re: My Mom isn't coming to my shower...

I'm so sorry that this is putting a damper on your upcoming shower!! Hopefully everything will work out- please enjoy yourself!!

Re: My Mom isn't coming to my shower...

I briefly thought about the kids coming, but one of them throws lengthy and violent tantrums. He screamed throughout my entire wedding--the ceremony and reception. My sister also has a tendency to ignore these tantrums and continue to go about her business when she is at parties, holidays etc, so essentially, the rest of the guests would be subjected to this if they were to come. Besides, I figured if she couldn't find daycare, she would stay with them

This is not the only time she's pulled this kind of stuff. That's another reason I am so mad/sad.

Re: My Mom isn't coming to my shower...

Re: My Mom isn't coming to my shower...

Oh man!!!!!!!!! Now would it be wrong of you to say to her, that you would prefer her to stay with the kids and your mom come, I mean its your mom for cryin out loud, if anyone should go it should be her!!!!

Re: My Mom isn't coming to my shower...

Also can your Mom ask your sister to control her kid if they get out of control or can your Mom try to be aware and calm them down.. She was going to watch them anyway? And does it ALWAYS happen? Or like the PP said tell your Mon you want her there and see if your sister can stay home? BTW did you ask your Mom if she is really sick?? Can that be true and she doesn't want to upset you before your shower.. Is it like your Mom to Not come?? I hate to be an alarmist but could she be sick? I am so sorry..

Re: My Mom isn't coming to my shower...

I am so sorry. That really sucks-- it seems like insensitivity is overpowering your day.

I hope that some other solution can be found-- but, here's some

Re: My Mom isn't coming to my shower...

Re: My Mom isn't coming to my shower...