My Vent! Been so Upset lately!!..Advice Please!

Hi Ladies!

I have not been around in a few days, I've been so upset all weekend long and I am hoping you can help me through this!! Lately it seems all my circle of friends are getting pregnant, are pregnant or having a baby! It has gotten me into this feeling I can not shake. When is it going to be my turn, and I answered my own question NEVER! As many of you know I did not get my BFP for my birthday last weekend. This put a damper on my mood that day. A few days after I noticed some spotting and cramping which I thought was AF. After 2 days it went away. My best friend has gotten it in my head that I may be pregnant and probably just spotting early in the pregnancy. So here I am taking all these tests and they are all coming up negative! I ordered the digital OPK's to help me. I am DONE with the lined ones. No more trying to interpert which line is darker or the same color. So a different approach I had was to bed every other day!! It's hard with DH's schedule but we will be able to do it every 2 days instead! So here I am all ready for it. Hoping for my little miracle. For the last 2 weeks nothing has happened between DH and I. He has been telling me "I'm tired" but not too tired to watch TV. I questioned him and asked him if he really wanted a child right now. He says he does so I'm all confused to why we haven't bedded yet! This weekend It was a 3 day weekend for me! Nothing has happened yet! I just feel sad and depressed. Maybe he doesn't find me attractive anymore. I know that's silly but what do I do? Everytime I try to bringing it up he tells me it will happen. I say it's not going to happen unless we try. "Yes dear" is what he's telling me. I think he's saying that just to shrug off of talking about it more. When I reach 40 it's gong to be hard to conceive. He claims he wants 4 kids! Well at my age and what is going on I only want 2 now! My eyes are welling up as I am typing this. I was going to try to talk to him later about this but what's the point? So disappointed, confused and upset. I don't know what to do!!!!

Re: My Vent! Been so Upset lately!!..Advice Please!

Just jump on him and seduce him Get a bottle of wine too and just try to change things up. Sorry you're going through this It'll pass!

Re: My Vent! Been so Upset lately!!..Advice Please!

My dh is not in the mood at the worst times as well. I wonder if he's feeling a little pressure to perform. Dh says I suuck the romance out of it. I say dress up in your sexiest outfit and seduce him!

Re: My Vent! Been so Upset lately!!..Advice Please!

I am so very sorry to hear this as I can sorta of relate. Before my miscarriage DH never wanted to "try" every time I was in my fertile time there was some excuse. A lot of things came to my mind..like, does he really want a baby? Am I not attractive anymore? Dont men normally jump at the opportunity for sex? It wasnt until I spoke to him that I found out he felt like he was being somewhat rushed into it and didnt want this to be something we are doing to get something out of it yknow. Anyway, Im on my first cycle TTC after my miscarriage and he is actually the one now pursuing it! I think it was the process of the actual miscarriage that made him realize how much he really wants this to happen ASAP. When you're fertile do you constantly put pressure on your DH to have sex? I only ask because like I said, this is what I did and it totally turned DH off. Why dont you just try and seduce him instead of telling/asking him for it? Men are visual/physical creatures sometimes they need some physical stimulation to get started

Message edited 7/4/2011 5:02:09 PM.

Re: My Vent! Been so Upset lately!!..Advice Please!

I agree with the girls here. Thee were days when i felt like was a chore or like a business transaction. One day i could tell du was annoyed because i kept asking if we were gointo do it that night. Tryto keep him out of the opk loop and just surprise him with when you O.

Re: My Vent! Been so Upset lately!!..Advice Please!

I went through all the same emotions. I had a 2 year journey and I thought it would never end. I had the world getting PG and I was still just trying.

My DH was the same way.....it will happen. I think sometimes we put too much pressure on them. Even if we don't say anything the whole we have to do it this many times at this time of the month can be a lot for them. They tend to look at as a chore at that point.

I can't tell you what will work and what won't but I will say I had months where we BD at all the right times and for a week straight and then other days on each end of that week. Then the month I got my BFP I never took an OPK, we only BD 2x that entire month.

What you are going through is normal but I would try not to let DH know too much of the schedule and make him think its a bit more spontaeous.

Re: My Vent! Been so Upset lately!!..Advice Please!

Posted by alli3131

I went through all the same emotions. I had a 2 year journey and I thought it would never end. I had the world getting PG and I was still just trying.

My DH was the same way.....it will happen. I think sometimes we put too much pressure on them. Even if we don't say anything the whole we have to do it this many times at this time of the month can be a lot for them. They tend to look at as a chore at that point.

I can't tell you what will work and what won't but I will say I had months where we BD at all the right times and for a week straight and then other days on each end of that week. Then the month I got my BFP I never took an OPK, we only BD 2x that entire month.

What you are going through is normal but I would try not to let DH know too much of the schedule and make him think its a bit more spontaeous.

Re: My Vent! Been so Upset lately!!..Advice Please!

first

second...dont worry bout other people getting preggo..i know so much easier said then done..when i hear the news of another preggo i say this to myself..1.u do not know their journey,it could have taken them years,went through fertlity treatments or it could have happened first try..either way it's their way of having a baby..and 2.it will be me someday and i want them to be as happy for me as i was for them

second..when it comes to dh..if he didnt want a kid he would not have started to ttc..it could be pressure to preform it could be just the elemnt of sex is diff now..like it is a job and no fun to it..i def agree with pp bout letting him be less in on the schedule

all i can say to you is when u r in the time where sex can be fun and still tttc,enjoy it..cause when u get to the point of a doc inseminating you..the romance and fun sex is out the door



good luck!

Re: My Vent! Been so Upset lately!!..Advice Please!

Thank you Ladies for all your support!!! 4th of Juky came and went and nothing out of the oridnary happened for us! As for us bedding I haven't said anything about when I was fertile. I don't want him thinking it's a chore you know. But it's been almost a month since we have bedded and I have no idea why. We are trying to get things done with fixing our house up but that should not change things to TTC. I wanted to see how long it has taken for him wanting to Bd. for a guy 3 weeks that's not right, right? I'm just so confused and uncertain right now. We just back from our 4th of July Party and I got things ready for work tomorrow and I told him I was going upstairs to unwind. I just wanted to be alone right now to think about what I am going to say to him tomorrow. But as I think about it all I can do is get emotional and get teary. Maybe it's because I know what I am about to hear is putting the TTC on hold! This makes me sad

Re: My Vent! Been so Upset lately!!..Advice Please!

Feeling so-so. Being at work takes my mind off of things but it's still in the back of my head.

Message edited 7/5/2011 10:13:18 AM.