Nanny and playdates.. long and need advise please

My nanny was very big on making playdate friends in my bldg. I was ok with it as well, since was cold and all. So when a mommy in my buiilding sent out a message, I reached out to her and met, and agreed to do playdates with the kids at each others places. She visited my home and I didn't visit theirs yet. I told the mother I have nanny cam as well, no secret, its out in plain sight.

Anyway, fast forward to three weeks later (i.e. now) the other kid has been to our apt. once. Initially, I thought its because we have a cat, or DH works shifts and stuff but then I found out through my nanny that the other kid's grandfather is there on some days as well. So brushed it off as my cat, and I heard from the other mom that she loves cats and she has a cat at her parents home!

Yesterday, the kid and the family were not there and the nanny came to set up the house or whatever and my nanny took DD and went to their apt. DH was leaving for work and tells me DD is there. Now 2 hours pass by and I don't see DD at home, and I call my nanny. She tells me they are still at the other apt. Now, I pretty easy going but if the other family is not there, I don't know why my nanny needs to be there for like 2 hours and change? I told her since the family is not there, they can hang out in our apt, and that's when she tells me, the other nanny doesn't feel comfortable because of the cameras. Ugh.. really? I don't feel comfortable sending my DD to someone else place all time to play, and the other mom didn't have an issue, so why does she.

I haven't said anything play dates yet, and I wondering how to handle this. Should I talk to the mom, or just tell my nanny that playdates have to be spilt.

Re: Nanny and playdates.. long and need advise please

So your nanny took DD to the other apt yesterday so SHE could hang out with the nanny? The family wasn't even there? That alone would annoy me (if that's what happened). lol.

You're the mom. You want the playdates split then that is the end of the story. The other mom doesn't have an issue so the nanny shouldn't. I'd be pretty concerned as to why she's worried about the cameras. In their line of work it's a very common thing.

Message edited 12/27/2012 11:08:45 AM.

Re: Nanny and playdates.. long and need advise please

I would not be upset if I were you. We lived in 2 different apartment buildings in NYC with our kids. One had a clubhouse and the other did not. It is probably different because my mom watched DS while we worked. She would often go other people's apartments and bring them to ours. She befriended nannies, other grandmothers and a few moms.

I know my kids like a change of scenery and always seem to love playing with other people's toys because of the novelty.

If I were the other family, I may be upset. I would not like it if my nanny had her friends over when we were not there.