LIFamilies.com - Long Island, NY


RSS
Articles Business Directory Blog Real Estate Community Forum Shop My Family Contests

Log In Chat Index Search Rules Lingo Create Account

Quick navigation:   

need advice from BTDT mom's (behavioral issues)

Posted By Message

pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe

Member since 9/05

32436 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

need advice from BTDT mom's (behavioral issues)

SO as some of you know from ALL my postings, mikayla was a GREAT baby but has turned into quite a handful as a toddler

She is WONDERFUL with others (sitter, IL's, DH, etc) but with me, she needs CONSTATNT attention

She is whining, crying, and wants me to hold her all the time. She refuses to walk when we go anywhere (store, from the car into the house, etc) and wants me to hold her. If I say "mikayla you need to walk, you are a big girl", she FLIPS out and has a tantrum, even throws herself on the floor

If I am sitting on the couch, she will ONCE in a while crawl over to me to cuddle but most of the time she wants me to stand up and hold her

I am 14 weeks and she is over 30lbs so that is just not doable

How do I "fix" this. Do I just refuse to hold her whenever she demands it and let her CIO?

I need help before I get too far along into my pregnancy and physically can't pick her up.

HELP !!!!!

any advice would be appreciated Chat Icon

Message edited 3/17/2009 1:32:26 PM.

Posted 3/17/09 1:31 PM
 
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource

mypumpkin
It's a beautiful day! :)

Member since 7/08

2296 total posts

Name:
Dee

Re: need advice from BTDT mom's (behavioral issues)

First someChat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon for you!!!

Definitely don't pick her up-she's too heavy and it's not safe!
I think after a few times and a few tantrums she will get the picture and give up trying!!(hopefully)

Wherever I go I bring my stroller -I refuse to carry ds for more than a few minutes!

Once you have the new baby you won't be able to hold her anyway!


Chat Icon

Posted 3/17/09 1:42 PM
 

pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe

Member since 9/05

32436 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: need advice from BTDT mom's (behavioral issues)

Posted by mypumpkin



Once you have the new baby you won't be able to hold her anyway!


Chat Icon



exactly, which is why I want to get her out of this habit now

thanks for the advice and hugs Chat Icon

Posted 3/17/09 1:46 PM
 

mypumpkin
It's a beautiful day! :)

Member since 7/08

2296 total posts

Name:
Dee

Re: need advice from BTDT mom's (behavioral issues)

Posted by Mikismom

Posted by mypumpkin



Once you have the new baby you won't be able to hold her anyway!


Chat Icon



exactly, which is why I want to get her out of this habit now

thanks for the advice and hugs Chat Icon



You are welcome!! It is sooo hard because she has always been the baby and now she will have to share you!! So it is better to get her more independent now rather than later!!


Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 3/17/09 1:49 PM
 

pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe

Member since 9/05

32436 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: need advice from BTDT mom's (behavioral issues)

Posted by mypumpkin

Posted by Mikismom

Posted by mypumpkin



Once you have the new baby you won't be able to hold her anyway!


Chat Icon



exactly, which is why I want to get her out of this habit now

thanks for the advice and hugs Chat Icon



You are welcome!! It is sooo hard because she has always been the baby and now she will have to share you!! So it is better to get her more independent now rather than later!!


Chat Icon Chat Icon



I know, you are so right. Hope this goes smoothly. Chat Icon

Posted 3/17/09 1:52 PM
 

mypumpkin
It's a beautiful day! :)

Member since 7/08

2296 total posts

Name:
Dee

Re: need advice from BTDT mom's (behavioral issues)

Posted by Mikismom

Posted by mypumpkin

Posted by Mikismom

Posted by mypumpkin



Once you have the new baby you won't be able to hold her anyway!


Chat Icon



exactly, which is why I want to get her out of this habit now

thanks for the advice and hugs Chat Icon



You are welcome!! It is sooo hard because she has always been the baby and now she will have to share you!! So it is better to get her more independent now rather than later!!


Chat Icon Chat Icon



I know, you are so right. Hope this goes smoothly. Chat Icon



It definitely will!!!Chat Icon You have to make dd your extra special helper!! Include her in every thing you do for the new baby!! Also make special time for dd by herself to paint her nails or play a fun game,etc!!! hth Chat Icon

Posted 3/17/09 1:58 PM
 

pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe

Member since 9/05

32436 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: need advice from BTDT mom's (behavioral issues)

Posted by mypumpkin

Posted by Mikismom

Posted by mypumpkin

Posted by Mikismom

Posted by mypumpkin



Once you have the new baby you won't be able to hold her anyway!


Chat Icon



exactly, which is why I want to get her out of this habit now

thanks for the advice and hugs Chat Icon



You are welcome!! It is sooo hard because she has always been the baby and now she will have to share you!! So it is better to get her more independent now rather than later!!


Chat Icon Chat Icon



I know, you are so right. Hope this goes smoothly. Chat Icon



It definitely will!!!Chat Icon You have to make dd your extra special helper!! Include her in every thing you do for the new baby!! Also make special time for dd by herself to paint her nails or play a fun game,etc!!! hth Chat Icon



oh yes, I definitely plan to get her VERY involved with the new baby, let her use a wipe on him/her, let her help me feed him/her, etc

Chat Icon

Posted 3/17/09 2:00 PM
 

pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe

Member since 9/05

32436 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: need advice from BTDT mom's (behavioral issues)

BUMP for some more advice Chat Icon

Posted 3/17/09 2:30 PM
 

Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn

Member since 5/05

27567 total posts

Name:
Janice

Re: need advice from BTDT mom's (behavioral issues)

this is my babysitting boy, Gavin...exactly.

He turned 2 in Feb.

His mom is due in July. Gavin is a big boy, atleast 33 pounds.

Since Christmas he throws these mean as hell tantrums when his mom comes to get him. Anything that day that I asked him not to do, he does it the second she comes through the door.

He has never ever hit me or josh...but I have seen him wack his mother across the face.

At his house he will only eat dinner on her lap. At my house, he sits in booster seat and eats fine twice a day.

He cries and whines at home, here never.

He has become overly clingy. When he's out and about with me, I don't tolerate it. I tell him he can hold my hand but I can't hold him. If he cries then I won't hold his hand.

He is becoming OCD with his things. His hat has to be a certain way on his head. He wants to sleep with it on. I tell him no, that once he wakes I will put it back on his head.

He has his "puppies"
3 stuffed animals. I tell him to go put them in the bed for naptime, that he can't take them out with us.

I understand a security toy or thing...but he always goes overboard. When the lost one, no one in the house slept for 5 days!

I do give him tons of attention. He sits on my lap at home a lot. I chase him down also pretty often to play.

Its amazing how they can be night and day with different people

Posted 3/17/09 3:47 PM
 

Bxgell2
Perfection

Member since 5/05

16438 total posts

Name:
Beth

Re: need advice from BTDT mom's (behavioral issues)

Ah yes, I have this problem too, though my daughter has always been on the difficult side. Once I was put on bedrest for this pregnancy everything had to change.

The approach I took was to sit down with Alex and tell her that I had to talk about something very important with her and asked if that was ok. We sat down on the floor together and I explained that mommy and the baby were a little sick, and that mommy's doctor told her that she can't pick things up anymore.

I explained all the things I could and couldn't do anymore, and told her that because of this, I'm going to need her help even more than ever, and that she's going to have to do some really big girl things.

She took it really well and is really proud of herself in helping me around the house. She even holds the door open for me when we leave school and when we get home Chat Icon

I think, at least for us, much of it has to do with the tone and the approach. I made a real effort to sit down on her level and have a real conversation with her, and asked her first if she could talk to me so it wasn't me talking down to her, but us having an important conversation together.

Posted 3/17/09 3:54 PM
 

pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe

Member since 9/05

32436 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: need advice from BTDT mom's (behavioral issues)

Posted by Bxgell2

Ah yes, I have this problem too, though my daughter has always been on the difficult side. Once I was put on bedrest for this pregnancy everything had to change.

The approach I took was to sit down with Alex and tell her that I had to talk about something very important with her and asked if that was ok. We sat down on the floor together and I explained that mommy and the baby were a little sick, and that mommy's doctor told her that she can't pick things up anymore.

I explained all the things I could and couldn't do anymore, and told her that because of this, I'm going to need her help even more than ever, and that she's going to have to do some really big girl things.

She took it really well and is really proud of herself in helping me around the house. She even holds the door open for me when we leave school and when we get home Chat Icon

I think, at least for us, much of it has to do with the tone and the approach. I made a real effort to sit down on her level and have a real conversation with her, and asked her first if she could talk to me so it wasn't me talking down to her, but us having an important conversation together.



I try to get down to her level and talk to her by calmly saying "mikayla, mommy cannot hold you all the time, ...you are a big girl now" and she just yells and cries. I will have to keep trying, eventually she will get it, I am sure

ah, and eating, she will not eat for me, she cries for junk but will not eat anything of substance ( I do not give her snacks unless she eats her food) meanwhile, she eats great for the sitter. Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon
thanks everyone

Message edited 3/17/2009 3:58:32 PM.

Posted 3/17/09 3:56 PM
 

lorimarie
AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Member since 5/05

3753 total posts

Name:
Lori

Re: need advice from BTDT mom's (behavioral issues)

Jack is a lot like this - he requires a lot of attention.

When he whines, cries, and throws his tantrums we ignore him. I tell him that I will not pay attention to him unless he acts like a big boy - 90% of the time it doesn't work but I feel better for trying.

I've found that since its attention he seeking I ignore the bad behavior and once he calms down and acts "human" again I take care of what he needs. I'm finding this works pretty well.

Posted 3/17/09 4:01 PM
 

lipglossjunky73
My Everything!

Member since 11/05

35670 total posts

Name:
<3

Re: need advice from BTDT mom's (behavioral issues)

You know that sticker chart I made you? Use that same template with a new picture, and call it "Mikayla's big girl" chart

Let her know she will get "Big girl" stickers to get a special toy that she wants - maybe even put the picture of the toy on there, or ice cream, or a video, or a special treat. Getting a big box together of junk from Oriental Trading and making a prize box may work.

Walking gets a big girl sticker, no crying gets a big girl sticker, etc - get big fun glittery stickers she gets to put on, and make it a big deal when she is getting her big girl sticker. Keep reminding her that big girl stickers get (special something) Chat Icon

Posted 3/17/09 5:42 PM
 

pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe

Member since 9/05

32436 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: need advice from BTDT mom's (behavioral issues)

Posted by lipglossjunky73

You know that sticker chart I made you? Use that same template with a new picture, and call it "Mikayla's big girl" chart

Let her know she will get "Big girl" stickers to get a special toy that she wants - maybe even put the picture of the toy on there, or ice cream, or a video, or a special treat. Getting a big box together of junk from Oriental Trading and making a prize box may work.

Walking gets a big girl sticker, no crying gets a big girl sticker, etc - get big fun glittery stickers she gets to put on, and make it a big deal when she is getting her big girl sticker. Keep reminding her that big girl stickers get (special something) Chat Icon



PERFECT!!! she walked to the car from the sitter today (after some crying) and she got a thin mint Chat Icon

she then walked from the car into the dollar store and she got some mini play doh Chat Icon

Posted 3/17/09 6:31 PM
 
 

Potentially Related Topics:

Topic Posted By Started Replies Forum
BTDT and toddler mom...any advice? aja 4/25/07 2 Parenting
BTDT mom advice please! momoftwins 3/16/06 1 Parenting
btdt moms: sensory issues (editted with more info) LoveBeingMrsT 7/28/08 18 Parenting
having neighbor issues, need advice princess99 11/13/07 15 Families Helping Families ™
PLEASE give me some advice on sleep issues 04bride 2/14/07 3 Parenting
First post as a mom....BF issues btrflygrl 1/7/06 20 Parenting
 
Quick navigation:   
Currently 256909 users on the LIFamilies.com Chat
New Businesses
1 More Rep
Carleton Hall of East Islip
J&A Building Services
LaraMae Health Coaching
Sonic Wellness
Julbaby Photography LLC
Ideal Uniforms
Teresa Geraghty Photography
Camelot Dream Homes
Long Island Wedding Boutique
MB Febus- Rodan & Fields
Camp Harbor
Market America-Shop.com
ACM Basement Waterproofing
Travel Tom

      Follow LIWeddings on Facebook

      Follow LIFamilies on Twitter
Long Island Bridal Shows