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karjules
Love my Jules :)
Member since 1/07 2056 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Need advice from BTDT Moms re: babysitting - Long sorry
My DD is 6 weeks and I am having the hardest time with letting anyone other than DH watch her. My DH wants so badly to let his Mom watch her for a few hours to go to the movies but I have the worst anxiety over it. I never realized I would have such control issues with letting others watch her but for some reason I do. I don't know if it's b/c I am BF and it has been difficult introducing a bottle or b/c she can be fussy at night and I am concerned with others having to deal with it.
I am going back to work in November and will be away from her for a good deal during the day, so I don't know how I will adjust.
Is this normal to feel like this and how do I let go? 
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Posted 9/13/08 8:47 PM  |
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Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys
Member since 5/05 9306 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Need advice from BTDT Moms re: babysitting - Long sorry
While I think your feelings are very normal, I didnt have this issue. I never had any issues leaving DS with MIL, I trust her completely and I know how much she loves DS. I will say I miss him terribly when I leave him but I know he is in good hands.
WIth that I feel its VERY important to make sure you and DH get out and be adults together without the baby. I think you need to take a break and make sure you connect on a husband wife level.
Maybe try it to run to the store for an hour, and hten work up to a longer period of time.
And if you are worried about DD at night maybe you and DH can go out around 4ish so that you are home for DD bedtime. THe first time we "left" DS we went to dinner and a movie for my birthday (DS was 4 weeks) but we were home by 8ish.
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| Posted 9/13/08 8:55 PM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Need advice from BTDT Moms re: babysitting - Long sorry
Posted by Kelly9904
...I feel its VERY important to make sure you and DH get out and be adults together without the baby. I think you need to take a break and make sure you connect on a husband wife level.
Maybe try it to run to the store for an hour, and hten work up to a longer period of time.
And if you are worried about DD at night maybe you and DH can go out around 4ish so that you are home for DD bedtime. THe first time we "left" DS we went to dinner and a movie for my birthday (DS was 4 weeks) but we were home by 8ish.
ITA. And I had the same issues at that age. I think it took a few months for me to feel OK leaving DS with anyone for more than an hour or so. I eentually just did it. I don't remember exactly how. I think the cabin fever got to me.
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| Posted 9/13/08 8:57 PM |
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karjules
Love my Jules :)
Member since 1/07 2056 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Need advice from BTDT Moms re: babysitting - Long sorry
Posted by Kelly9904
While I think your feelings are very normal, I didnt have this issue. I never had any issues leaving DS with MIL, I trust her completely and I know how much she loves DS. I will say I miss him terribly when I leave him but I know he is in good hands.
WIth that I feel its VERY important to make sure you and DH get out and be adults together without the baby. I think you need to take a break and make sure you connect on a husband wife level.
Maybe try it to run to the store for an hour, and hten work up to a longer period of time.
And if you are worried about DD at night maybe you and DH can go out around 4ish so that you are home for DD bedtime. THe first time we "left" DS we went to dinner and a movie for my birthday (DS was 4 weeks) but we were home by 8ish.
Thanks, I think I will start next week with short stints of babysitting. I feel bad not having the time to connect, but also feel so anxious leaving her, I guess mostly I am afraid DD will cry and MIL will have a hard time calming her. I know babies cry but I guess I am being super sensitive.
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| Posted 9/13/08 9:01 PM |
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Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys
Member since 5/05 9306 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Need advice from BTDT Moms re: babysitting - Long sorry
Your MIL will be able to calm her. It might take longer than if you were there, it might not be in the same manner that would work for you, but she will be okay, and so will DD.
Your daughter will always have that strong connection with you, even if you leave her. WHen I was working FT, DS still prefered me over my ILS who technically he was with more. My MIL used to always say, he jsut knows his mommy's arms.
You will be anxious the first few times, but slowly it will get easier. There are still days at 9 months when I get nervous about leaving him, if he is teething or has been clingy with me. But I think its important for me and DH and its important that DS has people he will go with and be comfortable with because there will be an event or some time when I have to leave him.
Also go to dinner close by, so that if there is an issue MIL can call and you can come home in 20 minutes....She will be fine and you will feel more relaxed for having more than 5 minutes of baby free time!
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| Posted 9/13/08 9:08 PM |
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LIMOMx2
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Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice from BTDT Moms re: babysitting - Long sorry
I never had any issues with my family watching him. I actually enjoyed getting out and about once and awhile
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| Posted 9/13/08 9:09 PM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Need advice from BTDT Moms re: babysitting - Long sorry
Posted by karanthony
... I guess mostly I am afraid DD will cry and MIL will have a hard time calming her. I know babies cry but I guess I am being super sensitive.
In that case, I would then do a quick test run at home. When DS would cry, he liked to be rocked a certain way. I had the ILs visit & when DS cried I let MIL soothe him. She got him to quiet and figured out how to rock him and soothe him.
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| Posted 9/13/08 9:10 PM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Need advice from BTDT Moms re: babysitting - Long sorry
If you figure it out let me know. DS is 12 months - I will only leave him with my mom or DH. I did leave him as early as three weeks - but, only with my mother. I am a control freak I guess 
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| Posted 9/13/08 10:34 PM |
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