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photoshopbabe
wow....
Member since 5/07 2197 total posts
Name:
linda
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Re: Need some advice (biting)
my brother had such a big biting problem-he alwaysssss bit me-
the only way he stopped-my mom bit him back!!!!!
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Posted 6/13/08 9:44 AM  |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Need some advice (biting)
I really think at this age, they are just learing to communicate. They are doing things that come naturally. And it's up to us to tell them what is acceptable and what is not.
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| Posted 6/13/08 9:50 AM |
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krashnburn
I am Batman!
Member since 5/05 4093 total posts
Name:
I'm Batman, I tell you!
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Re: Need some advice (biting)
As pp said, we have clingy days, and good days. They days that are worse, are when we switch up his routine. DH usually drops off and has no problem. If I have to drop off, he won't let me go and starts screaming and needs to be distracted. So that fact that your DH dropped off and that's not usual, may have been what made him behave that way this morning.
As for the biting, don't beat yourself up over it. It happens at this age. They are very frustrated at not being able to express themselves and that's one way they show it. DS has not bitten anyone in class, mostly me and a few times to DH. He usually bites my shoulder when I'm holding him. My scream is enough to startle him from what he's doing. Then I give firm, "No! No biting!" And I put him down and walk away from him. We did this a couple times and he hasn't done it again in awhile.
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| Posted 6/13/08 9:56 AM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Need some advice (biting)
Bella was bitten last year and DH was like "I wanna know who that little monster is..." and I replied "our child may be "that monster" one day" and she was in February.
My school calls both sets of parents when a child is bitten but does not tell you who is who. Bella was too young the first time to tell us...
Her teacher was very understanding and explained this in a very constructive manner. Bella wanted a toy that a child had taken away and bit him/her out of frustration. She was taken away from the situation and placed in "timeout" while being explained that biting isn't nice and to use her words or tell a teacher when she needs help. I know that if it happened again, then they shadow the child for a bit to reinforce good behavior and steer the child away from situations that they could bite in.
I know that we also reinforce it at home that biting isn't nice and that she wouldn't like to be bitten.
I was mortified when Bella bit a child and definitely more upset than when Bella was bitten--but it happens. Now it's his teacher's job to help him NOT bite and reinforce the teaching that you are doing at home.
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| Posted 6/13/08 9:58 AM |
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Bklyngrl
luvmyfamily
Member since 9/06 5307 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some advice (biting)
you're a good mommy! dont be hard on yourself - i don't have advice since i'm a first timer and no experience yet but the stern NO sounds good as does all the advice above
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| Posted 6/13/08 10:23 AM |
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paulandles912
My children are a blessing!
Member since 5/05 2598 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Need some advice (biting)
I'm on the other side -- Andrew was bitten 5 times by a little girl at his old day care. It's why he's no longer there.
But it is age appropriate behavior, and you're wise to reinforce the 'no biting' and looking for ways to redirect him. And I'm sure he's a sweet little boy.
At Andrew's old day care they had a policy of calling each set of parents the first time and putting the biter on warning. They also kept a running log of the biter's behavior to see what preceded any incident. With the 2nd bite, that child is asked to take a temporary leave. After 3 bites, that child has to leave the center permanently. I don't know how I would feel about that policy if Andrew had been doing the biting. But ultimately, this one girl bit him 5 times and I wasn't comfortable leaving him there.
Andrew was bitten the other day at his nursery school by a little girl. He bit her back. We're working on the same thing you are to let him know it's not OK.
Message edited 6/13/2008 10:53:37 AM.
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| Posted 6/13/08 10:53 AM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Need some advice (biting)
Posted by pmpkn087
Steven bit me once. I bit him back. (or course it wasn't hard but he was so surprised)
He bit my mom once. She bit him back.
He never bit again.
Both times after we did it to him, we told him "see, you don't like it. it's not nice to bite and it hurts!"
This was when he was 15 months old.
It's good this worked for you...but I'd be cautious to try this with other kids because doing a bad behavior back may reinforce to them that it's ok. I mean, if they bite....and then mommy bites back, it shows that 1) YES it hurts but 2) it's ok for people to bite in retaliation...
I only write this because we've had so many discussions with the therapists over behavior. And while johnny never bit, he does raise his hand and smack us sometimes. It's SO HARD for me to not give him a little whack right back to show him he can't do it, but they constantly tell us to ignore the behavior if it doesn't hurt anyone OR a stern NO! and a timeout is the way to go...
Just wanted to express that...
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| Posted 6/13/08 11:29 AM |
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gtsgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 1385 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Need some advice (biting)
Ang first off to you..gavin is a biter. He bit a kid at daycare last week. He usually just bites me and I say NO BITE and put him down. That didnt work so now we are trying the No bite in a softer tone and then giving it no attention. I know that when he is frusterated or tired or just wants a change of scenery he will go to bite. Daycare has been "shadowing" him to make sure if he goes for it they can stop him but so far he has been good with the No Bite and then redirect him. I think Gavin was biting more because he got such a reaction from us..But alas, we were at the doctor today and waited for 45 minutes and he was biting me because he was hungry and tired..i couldent put him down because it was only me. The dr. was like ummm you have to stop that I was like REALLY DUMB ARSE!!!!
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| Posted 6/13/08 12:52 PM |
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cgdg61606
Little Brother Christopher
Member since 2/07 6815 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Need some advice (biting)
Ang - just this morning, Thomas and his (half) brothers were playing on the floor. They were smothering him with love, and he got annoyed/frustrated and he bit my younger stepson (age 8). This is the first time he ever did that. I think it's totally normal at this age, but I'm learning a lot from everyone's responses too on how to handle it!
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| Posted 6/13/08 1:15 PM |
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2PreciousBlessings
The Perfect Pair
Member since 5/06 19861 total posts
Name:
Best Wife & Mommy
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Re: Need some advice (biting)
Posted by Diana1215
I think you did the right thing by telling daycare to give a stern "No" - and I don't have any other suggestions - just wanted to give you  They don't know what they are doing can hurt someone else - you just have to think of it that way!
ITA!!! Ang here are some Also, I think you are such a wonderful mother who truly cares about your DS and also the other kids. I admire the way you are so concerned about the biting incident and want to take all necessary actions to prevent it from happening. Try not be hard on yourself.
Message edited 6/13/2008 1:24:23 PM.
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| Posted 6/13/08 1:22 PM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some advice (biting)
Thank you so much - everyone!!! I have read each and every post and FM and I can't tell you how much it means to have such support and great advice. And I'm not just saying it...I really will be taking all of the advice and putting it to use. This is important to me.
I will also smile rather than cringe each time my husband refers to my son as chomper. 
We'll make this better...thanks for all the great advice and even bigger thanks for cheering me up and cheering me on.
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| Posted 6/13/08 2:07 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Need some advice (biting)
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by pmpkn087
Steven bit me once. I bit him back. (or course it wasn't hard but he was so surprised)
He bit my mom once. She bit him back.
He never bit again.
Both times after we did it to him, we told him "see, you don't like it. it's not nice to bite and it hurts!"
This was when he was 15 months old.
It's good this worked for you...but I'd be cautious to try this with other kids because doing a bad behavior back may reinforce to them that it's ok. I mean, if they bite....and then mommy bites back, it shows that 1) YES it hurts but 2) it's ok for people to bite in retaliation...
I only write this because we've had so many discussions with the therapists over behavior. And while johnny never bit, he does raise his hand and smack us sometimes. It's SO HARD for me to not give him a little whack right back to show him he can't do it, but they constantly tell us to ignore the behavior if it doesn't hurt anyone OR a stern NO! and a timeout is the way to go...
Just wanted to express that...
I agree, I for one, cannot see how biting back will teach them not to bite...but hey, whatever works for each family
I too, have to remind myself when dd hites me, that hiting back is not the answer. I instead tell her no sternly and put her down / ignore her for a minute
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| Posted 6/13/08 3:33 PM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Need some advice (biting)
Posted by stephanief
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by pmpkn087
Steven bit me once. I bit him back. (or course it wasn't hard but he was so surprised)
He bit my mom once. She bit him back.
He never bit again.
Both times after we did it to him, we told him "see, you don't like it. it's not nice to bite and it hurts!"
This was when he was 15 months old.
It's good this worked for you...but I'd be cautious to try this with other kids because doing a bad behavior back may reinforce to them that it's ok. I mean, if they bite....and then mommy bites back, it shows that 1) YES it hurts but 2) it's ok for people to bite in retaliation...
I only write this because we've had so many discussions with the therapists over behavior. And while johnny never bit, he does raise his hand and smack us sometimes. It's SO HARD for me to not give him a little whack right back to show him he can't do it, but they constantly tell us to ignore the behavior if it doesn't hurt anyone OR a stern NO! and a timeout is the way to go...
Just wanted to express that...
I agree, I for one, cannot see how biting back will teach them not to bite...but hey, whatever works for each family
I too, have to remind myself when dd hites me, that hiting back is not the answer. I instead tell her no sternly and put her down / ignore her for a minute
Whatever works for you....I do what works for me.
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| Posted 6/13/08 3:53 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Need some advice (biting)
If it makes you feel any better about your time spent with Lucas, I am with Josh all the time and he went through his biting stage.
The boy I watch hasn't bitten yet...
Josh bit the first time, I down played it and said do not do it again.
Second time, I flipped and made a big deal about it, he went to his room.
Third time, I bit him...he has been bite free for weeks now.
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| Posted 6/13/08 4:04 PM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some advice (biting)
DH just called...he picked Lucas us and no reports of him biting today but...
he has a bite mark on his arm and no one knows how it got there. 
so either the someone gave him a dose of his own medicine...or he tried it out on himseld to see what the big deal was...either way I hope it worked.
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| Posted 6/13/08 4:51 PM |
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want2beamom
Love my boys soooo much!!!
Member since 8/06 10164 total posts
Name:
True love doesn't end with happily ever after...
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Re: Need some advice (biting)
My son has started biting...but really its mostly me....he always bites me on the same spot on my shoulder when I am holding him, or if I am hugging him....I dont necessarily think that he does it when he gets frustrated, I think it is just his way of expressing himself...
that being said, I say a very stern no when he does it. It def hurts, and I cant wait until he gets out of this stage. I know how you feel!
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| Posted 6/13/08 6:12 PM |
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KateDevine
*
Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some advice (biting)
I feel like, knowing Lucas, that he would bite if he felt threatened, so maybe he did it yesterday because he felt like someone was biting him or was going to bite him?
Posted by Ang-Rich
DH just called...he picked Lucas us and no reports of him biting today but...
he has a bite mark on his arm and no one knows how it got there.
so either the someone gave him a dose of his own medicine...or he tried it out on himseld to see what the big deal was...either way I hope it worked.
Hopefully this is the end of it!!
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| Posted 6/13/08 6:27 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Need some advice (biting)
I wanted to add how your not alone ...Noah bit me once today, DH once and went for one kid in gymboree and bit another on his butt  ( sorry frankiesmom..I dont think he felt it )
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| Posted 6/13/08 8:20 PM |
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IheartF&M
Finally made it to 1,000!!!!
Member since 6/08 1059 total posts
Name:
stacy
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Re: Need some advice (biting)
Posted by dm24angel
I wanted to add how your not alone ...Noah bit me once today, DH once and went for one kid in gymboree and bit another on his butt ( sorry frankiesmom..I dont think he felt it )
Please if Noah did bite him then maybe It will teach Frankie not to do it. I think he bit his diaper so Frankie felt nothing!! Ang, my son is 11 months old & just started doing this also.
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| Posted 6/13/08 8:40 PM |
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justthe4ofus
I hate hypocrites!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6905 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some advice (biting)
Ang- I have to tell you that my DD reacted like that (grabbing shirt and pushing away) when she started at her new daycare. She was older than Lucas but still acted like that because there is a little boy in her class that is developmentally delayed and has a thing with hugging. As soon as DD gets to the door he is up in her face trying to hug her. He is not trying to anything bad BUT my daughter HATES people getting in her face when she doesn't know them (and sometimes even when she does know them). He didn't or couldn't really understand her when she would tell him to move or get back please or even just NO. (He hugs everyone- even the parents coming to pick up other children). She would get frustrated so she would grab him and push. We told her that is not nice. She explain she didn't want him to hug her. We told the teacher the reason for her aggressive behavior and we told her M is your friend, he likes to hug. I don't want her to think that she HAS to be affectionate with everyone in the world, but we just kept trying to explain to her that it's just the way M is and he is a nice boy.
Could it be that Lucas doesn't no like these boys getting "in his face"? Heck early in the morning I don't like anyone else in my face either.
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| Posted 6/13/08 8:52 PM |
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