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nbc188
Best friends!
Member since 12/06 23090 total posts
Name:
C
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Need some serious no-nonsense Potty Training book/DVD help (for parents)
I am at my wit’s end with DD. I don’t know what else to try. I’ve posted about it numerous times before. She completely, 100% GETS the whole potty process but flat-out refuses to sit on it at home. At school, they can get her to sit on it 1 time a day, but she won’t pee—even if she has to pee, she will hold it. She wears underwear around the house all day at home, but screams for a diaper when it’s time to pee…she fully gets the bladder control part, that she has to sit, she 100% gets what she needs to do and how it works….but she won’t give in and go on the potty b/c she is pulling a power trip.
Help….recommend some books, videos, etc for US…b/c quite frankly, I’m clueless about potty training and just asking her if she wants to sit on the potty causes her to shed tears (dramatically, mind you) so I don’t know how to proceed.
She’s 3 years & 4 months old….and stubborn as a mule.  
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Posted 10/19/10 2:53 PM  |
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ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: Need some serious no-nonsense Potty Training book/DVD help (for parents)
Get the Potty Power video for DD. Its like kid peer pressure. Worked like a charm in a matter of days in our house.
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| Posted 10/19/10 2:57 PM |
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LMF123
My Boys.....
Member since 4/07 1526 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Need some serious no-nonsense Potty Training book/DVD help (for parents)
I could have written your post word-for-word so I hope you get some good responses. I have tried EVERYTHING! It is totally a power struggle and, now that DS has a 1 month old brother, this is just adding to the stress in his life and it is just not happening!
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| Posted 10/19/10 2:58 PM |
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nbc188
Best friends!
Member since 12/06 23090 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Need some serious no-nonsense Potty Training book/DVD help (for parents)
Posted by ddunne2
Get the Potty Power video for DD. Its like kid peer pressure. Worked like a charm in a matter of days in our house.
Have it....have had it for months...she loves the video. Will tell me to sing “no more diapers for me” b/c I don’t wear diapers…so I sing it. Then I ask her to sing it, she says “no, I still wear diapers”.
Peer pressure isn’t working on her at all….she feels no shame in saying that almost all of her friends are potty trained (at school, other friends, etc), she simply does NOT care that she’s still in diapers and that “big kids” aren’t. Hopefully she’s able to resist peer pressure this easily in her teen years too 
Thank you for the suggestion though 
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| Posted 10/19/10 3:00 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some serious no-nonsense Potty Training book/DVD help (for parents)
Andy was very much like that and I started to buy pullups that were 2 sizes too small so they weren't comfortable and I made a big deal every time he had to change his pullup about how gross it was and how sad it made me that he wouldn't go on the potty. I also stopped all playdates and told him that the other kids didn't want to play with someone who goes potty in their pants.
He finally trained within a week once I got him the small pullups.
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| Posted 10/19/10 3:06 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
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Re: Need some serious no-nonsense Potty Training book/DVD help (for parents)
Honestly, I would lay off for a week or so. She just isn't there yet. No amount of bribing, forcing or coercing will make it work.
My DD was the same way...THE SAME WAY. One day, it just clicked and the power struggle stopped. I also stopped asking her if she had to go to the potty and set a timer...when the timer went off - it was time to sit on the potty. Everything stopped...tv off, toys away, etc. For us, it was a power struggle and I needed to remove that and let her be in control.
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| Posted 10/19/10 3:08 PM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Need some serious no-nonsense Potty Training book/DVD help (for parents)
NO diapers.. PERIOD.
it may mean more work for you in terms of cleaning up.. but it IS a power struggle and she knows that you will give in and give her the diaper.
she cannot hold it in forever.. I would just get rid of the diapers all together and show her that mommy is the BOSS.
GL! I know how hard it is with these little people.
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| Posted 10/19/10 3:09 PM |
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nbc188
Best friends!
Member since 12/06 23090 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Need some serious no-nonsense Potty Training book/DVD help (for parents)
Posted by bicosi
NO diapers.. PERIOD.
it may mean more work for you in terms of cleaning up.. but it IS a power struggle and she knows that you will give in and give her the diaper.
she cannot hold it in forever.. I would just get rid of the diapers all together and show her that mommy is the BOSS.
GL! I know how hard it is with these little people.
See, the problem is (MY hang-up) she has a history of UTIs....so I fear that she'll get more infections b/c she's holding it, and I don’t want that obviously, you know?
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| Posted 10/19/10 3:27 PM |
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nbc188
Best friends!
Member since 12/06 23090 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Need some serious no-nonsense Potty Training book/DVD help (for parents)
Posted by shamrock124
Honestly, I would lay off for a week or so. She just isn't there yet. No amount of bribing, forcing or coercing will make it work.
My DD was the same way...THE SAME WAY. One day, it just clicked and the power struggle stopped. I also stopped asking her if she had to go to the potty and set a timer...when the timer went off - it was time to sit on the potty. Everything stopped...tv off, toys away, etc. For us, it was a power struggle and I needed to remove that and let her be in control.
It’s weird, we’re really not that forceful about it. We don’t nag her at all, we’ll just say “want to sit on the potty?” when she has to pee, and she says no, so we put the diaper on. People tell me to just make her sit on the potty, but she will scream & cry for minutes on end (we’ve tried it once). I just don’t know when it’s going to click with her, you know? This has been this way for at least 6 months now, probably closer to 9 months…where she fully knows what she needs to do & when, but refuses.
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| Posted 10/19/10 3:29 PM |
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MST9106
My life:)
Member since 6/06 9589 total posts
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Re: Need some serious no-nonsense Potty Training book/DVD help (for parents)
Posted by nbc188
Posted by bicosi
NO diapers.. PERIOD.
it may mean more work for you in terms of cleaning up.. but it IS a power struggle and she knows that you will give in and give her the diaper.
she cannot hold it in forever.. I would just get rid of the diapers all together and show her that mommy is the BOSS.
GL! I know how hard it is with these little people.
See, the problem is (MY hang-up) she has a history of UTIs....so I fear that she'll get more infections b/c she's holding it, and I don’t want that obviously, you know?
I forgot about this. I was going to suggest to become a little stern about it and just flat out refuse to put a diaper on her, but I'd be a little concerned about her holding it in too much and increasing her chances of getting another one.
My only suggestion would be to be firm about it. I'm not saying to yell at her or force her to go, just be stern that she is a big girl and that it is time to start going on the potty and just flat out refuse diapers and pull ups. Like Bicosi mentioned, it IS a form of power struggle...don't give up!
ETA: It takes time and a lot of clean up, but one day it will just click. I'm sure the fact that she has a little sister around in diapers doesn't help either. I think because of this it will take her a little longer but she will get there! I also wanted to suggest to start religiously taking her to the potty every 30 minutes and rewarding her with either stickers or candy.
Message edited 10/19/2010 3:52:25 PM.
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| Posted 10/19/10 3:47 PM |
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DandN
Twins are here!
Member since 3/06 3597 total posts
Name:
Deirdre
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Re: Need some serious no-nonsense Potty Training book/DVD help (for parents)
This is what we did when we had a similar situation.
We bought a big bag of Dum Dums lollipops. . . her eyes lit up when she saw them and we said that she could only have one while she sat on the potty. . . somewhere along the line DH started referring to them as Potty Pops and for a while that's what she called them. Yes, there were a number of times when she'd take one, sit on the potty, then get up and I had to take the lollipop away from her until she sat on the potty. This did result in more than one tantrum, I can't lie. . . but anyway, it worked.
. . . and yes, there were times when I let her have 3 lollipops in a row if it meant she would sit on the potty for like 20 minutes. At one point she just peed while sitting there and we practically threw a block party.
It took a few days for her to get the hang of it - and it took about a week for her to go through the bag of lollipops and then I'd say "we have to get more at the store" when she asked for them. Then she forgot about them.
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| Posted 10/19/10 3:47 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some serious no-nonsense Potty Training book/DVD help (for parents)
Posted by nbc188
Posted by shamrock124
Honestly, I would lay off for a week or so. She just isn't there yet. No amount of bribing, forcing or coercing will make it work.
My DD was the same way...THE SAME WAY. One day, it just clicked and the power struggle stopped. I also stopped asking her if she had to go to the potty and set a timer...when the timer went off - it was time to sit on the potty. Everything stopped...tv off, toys away, etc. For us, it was a power struggle and I needed to remove that and let her be in control.
It’s weird, we’re really not that forceful about it. We don’t nag her at all, we’ll just say “want to sit on the potty?” when she has to pee, and she says no, so we put the diaper on. People tell me to just make her sit on the potty, but she will scream & cry for minutes on end (we’ve tried it once). I just don’t know when it’s going to click with her, you know? This has been this way for at least 6 months now, probably closer to 9 months…where she fully knows what she needs to do & when, but refuses.
I have to say, for us, daycare helped tremendously. And it really did just click one day. I, like you, couldn't just stop using diapers/pull ups because of the UTIs. I would take a break for a week and then go back to it at home.
I would try one of those potty watches that beeps when it's time. She may feel more in control then.
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| Posted 10/19/10 3:48 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Need some serious no-nonsense Potty Training book/DVD help (for parents)
Posted by nbc188
Posted by bicosi
NO diapers.. PERIOD.
it may mean more work for you in terms of cleaning up.. but it IS a power struggle and she knows that you will give in and give her the diaper.
she cannot hold it in forever.. I would just get rid of the diapers all together and show her that mommy is the BOSS.
GL! I know how hard it is with these little people.
See, the problem is (MY hang-up) she has a history of UTIs....so I fear that she'll get more infections b/c she's holding it, and I don’t want that obviously, you know?
That definitely makes it tougher-I would talk to your ped for advice because of that.
Other than that-I like the idea of wearing pull ups that are too small. Put her in those instead of undies so they are not on for just a couple of minutes while she tinkles.
Does she have a "thing"? A price? My neighbor bought his 4 year old son a ride on car He kept it in the house and told him he could have it when he was big enough and that meant he used the potty all week (or something like that). The kid learned. I'm not advocating a car-but what is her price?
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| Posted 10/19/10 3:56 PM |
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livy820
Luckiest Mom of 2 girls!
Member since 8/07 1606 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some serious no-nonsense Potty Training book/DVD help (for parents)
i put her in underwear and let her pee all over. then i took the little potty set it up in front of the TV and made her watch TVon the potty. eventually it came out and she was so proud. i made a huge deal. gave her a cupcake. she got it fast. gets a "Special treat" every time she goes on the potty. bribery works extremely well for us. grandma also bought her something for when she first went potty so that also helped. now she gets treats for pooping only.
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| Posted 10/19/10 5:00 PM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: Need some serious no-nonsense Potty Training book/DVD help (for parents)
I got Ale panties with her favorite characters on them, and told her "Tinkerbell doesn't want you to pee on her" "Rosetta gets very upset if you get her wet" and such. It has worked for the most part but she has had an accident here and there....
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| Posted 10/19/10 5:07 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Need some serious no-nonsense Potty Training book/DVD help (for parents)
IDK if this helps, but for DD it was a very weird sensation for her to pee on the potty.
Like she got it, but she couldn't figure out how to push it out. Her teacher told ehr to push her belly and then she got it. Then when she went it startled her a little bit.
We did the pull ups for a few days, then we just did underwear. DD has incredible bladder control too, but did start to go more and more.
Good luck
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| Posted 10/19/10 5:42 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Need some serious no-nonsense Potty Training book/DVD help (for parents)
ugh - I typed this whole response that apparently didn't post.
I will shorten it for you:
You have two options I think:
1. only keep her in underwear. no matter what don't put diapers on her (but obviously check with her ped on this first bc of the uti)
2. Wait another month or so. She just may not be ready now. When we first tried with Jack it was torture. Kicking, screaming, torture. One month later and he was like a different kid with it
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| Posted 10/19/10 5:56 PM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some serious no-nonsense Potty Training book/DVD help (for parents)
We are having major issues here too - some days I feel she "gets" it others she sits in a dirty pull up and doesn't want to be changed. She goes on the potty outside of the house - at preschool etc. But sometimes still has accidents if they don't let her sit long enough to poop.
I'm at wits end too - but think maybe she isn't fully ready. I thought peer pressure would work for her but it hasn't.
If you DO find a book or something that works will you please share it with me - I have tried a few and numerous tricks - but they don't seem to work for long.
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| Posted 10/19/10 6:54 PM |
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InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some serious no-nonsense Potty Training book/DVD help (for parents)
I've said it before, and I'll say it again -- you have to get rid of the diapers. She just doesn't get a choice. I truly do not believe that she will hold it to the point of causing a UTI. Have you called the doctor about that? Clear your conscience and call the doc so you can put that fear aside (and if by chance he/she says it could be a problem, then take another route). But, knowing C, and knowing the situation as it has been for the past few months, you really just need to put your foot down with her. NO MORE DIAPERS!
That said - have you tried a sticker chart? We are having SUPER success with K and pooping on the potty due to our sticker chart. I can tell you more about it if you're interested.
And then, there's also the flat out IGNORING the whole idea of the potty. Don't ask her if she has to go. Don't talk about it. Literally pretend it doesn't exist. Reverse psychology, so to speak. 
She'll get it eventually, that I promise!!!
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| Posted 10/19/10 10:25 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Need some serious no-nonsense Potty Training book/DVD help (for parents)
Posted by InShock
I've said it before, and I'll say it again -- you have to get rid of the diapers. She just doesn't get a choice. I truly do not believe that she will hold it to the point of causing a UTI. Have you called the doctor about that? Clear your conscience and call the doc so you can put that fear aside (and if by chance he/she says it could be a problem, then take another route). But, knowing C, and knowing the situation as it has been for the past few months, you really just need to put your foot down with her. NO MORE DIAPERS!
That said - have you tried a sticker chart? We are having SUPER success with K and pooping on the potty due to our sticker chart. I can tell you more about it if you're interested.
And then, there's also the flat out IGNORING the whole idea of the potty. Don't ask her if she has to go. Don't talk about it. Literally pretend it doesn't exist. Reverse psychology, so to speak.
She'll get it eventually, that I promise!!!
I just LOL'd reading your post!
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| Posted 10/19/10 10:27 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Need some serious no-nonsense Potty Training book/DVD help (for parents)
Posted by InShock
I did basically the same thing for DS and it worked. I told him on X date we have no more diapers in the house that will fit you. DD is 1 and still in diapers. I told him we have no pull ups, no diapers and I am no longer going to buy them any more. I went with him to the store and picked out underwear. He balked at the idea of no diapers and was not happy. But you know what, he got over it. It took a few days but he figured it out. We used the sticker chart. It was a wonderful motivator. For pee he got stickers and at first prizes for each time he went. Match box cars - things less than a dollar. I told him when he finished the chart he could get anything he wanted at TRU. From there we moved on to a poop chart. He is almost done with the poop chart. Yesterday I told him there will be no more prizes when we finish the poop chart. He understood and seems ok with it. I think he will be done with the charts by next week.
We started the last week of August. DS turned 3 that month.
ETA:
It’s weird, we’re really not that forceful about it. We don’t nag her at all, we’ll just say “want to sit on the potty?” when she has to pee, and she says no, so we put the diaper on.
I was doing the exact same thing. Someone on here said don't talk about the bathroom at all. Ignore it. Once I did that made things a million times easier. I did not think I was nagging either but I think it was a battle of wills....Ignoring it seemed to work for us. I said nothing about it for a week after telling DS the no diaper deadline. He came to me the morning of the deadline and actually said is today the day I loose my diapers? I said yes and removed them that morning.
Message edited 10/19/2010 11:48:40 PM.
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| Posted 10/19/10 11:42 PM |
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