Need to vent- and maybe some advice...LOOOONNNNGGGG

We have been in contract on a house since late spring/early summer.
Our original contract states a closing of on or about July 15th.
Our mortgage guy really dropped the ball and caused all of this delay.

We were preapproved for an FHA loan by wells fargo before we even started looking. We found a house we loved, made an offer- it was accepted.

Once we had the accepted offer- I decided to "shop around" to see if we could get a better deal. When speaking to other lenders, I was told that we'd never be approved because DH's credit score was too low.

In a panic, I went back to the guy at Wells and he GUARANTEED me that we would be approved and that he's been doing this for awhile...blah blah blah.

So, we went with Wells Fargo.

After 2 months go by with numerous communication issues with the wells guy- the sellers are getting pi**ed because they have bought a house they want to close on- and we are taking forever.

They make threats to put the house back on the market, to pull out of the deal, etc.

Finally- the last week of July we're told we won't be approved without a cosigner.

We didn't want a cosigner- even though my father was willing to do it- but after talking it over, we decided that this was our only option. At this point we had also already given up our apartment and moved in with my parents temporarily.

Part of the reason we decided to go ahead with having my father co-sign was because the mortgage guy said that DH could still be on the title/deed.

Things have still been bumpy over the past month- we had to get the guys boss involved and go directly through underwriters, but we FINALLY got the commitment letter.

So- DH just called me saying that he spoke to our attorney and he says that DH can't be on the deed- because the bank said no.

DH is ****** and ranting about he's going to be a "renter" in his own house even though he's paying the mortgage...

I didn't think he could be on the deed from the beginning since he isn't on the mortgage- but he insisted that both the realtor and the mortgage rep said that he could.

Now he's throwing it in my face that he doesn't think my father ever wanted to cosign, he just did it out of guilt, and that he's peeved that he can't be on the deed.

There's nothing I can do about this now- but I needed to vent.

This ENTIRE process has been torture.

So- if anyone has some words of wisdom (that don't include "Never have a co-signer) please leave them for me.

Is there a way we can have DH on the deed? Can we remove/substitute a cosigner without paying thousands in closing costs again?

If anyone made it this far- thanks!

Re: Need to vent- and maybe some advice...LOOOONNNNGGGG

i don't have any advice, but am sorry you are going through this. it sounds like torture...

Re: Need to vent- and maybe some advice...LOOOONNNNGGGG

Re: Need to vent- and maybe some advice...LOOOONNNNGGGG

Posted by ave1024

Posted by SadHomeBuyer

DH is ****** and ranting about he's going to be a "renter" in his own house even though he's paying the mortgage...

I gotta be honest here and say your DH needs to stop being a drama queen.

You said the bank said no because his credit was bad. Well if his credit is bad, he only has himself to blame for that.

And while I have always been one of those "never cosign" people, i'll spare it here and say your DH should be GRATEFUL that your father has offered to cosign this.

So big deal he won't be on the deed. It's not like the house isn't half his. Even if you guys get divorced, NY is an equitable distribution state and I am sure he would be putting money towards the downpayment and monthly housing costs so the house is techically his whether he is on the deed or not.

And you are right, most banks will not allow a party on the deed that is not on the mortgage. That's just the way it usually is because if the bank allows this, that puts the bank in an unfavorable risk situation.

I would just hang in there.

Re: Need to vent- and maybe some advice...LOOOONNNNGGGG

We, too, had a lot of issues getting approved. It took months. I was told "it's never going to happen" repeatedly and sobbed many nights. (There was an issue w/ DH's income, not his credit.)

U really are lucky that u did get a co-signer bc otherwise u may not have been able to get approved. I *think* for an FHA loan, his credit score has to be above 625. It's probably too late now for him to do anything to improve his score though.

Maybe he's being a drama queen bc part of him is nervous about all of the responsibility of being a home owner? DH threw some fits in the weeks leading up to our closing and, in hindsight, that's what I attribute the fits to. He was freaking out about having to come up with $____ every month for the mortgage---it is scary but it's part of life!

Hopefully you'll be able to close soon and you'll be able to relax and breathe a little---there's nothing more stressful than the 1st time buying a house.

GL!

Re: Need to vent- and maybe some advice...LOOOONNNNGGGG

you are married so he is not a "renter" in his own house and if you needed a co-signer to get a house then thats what you needed and i say go forward with it.....

also i believe you can add your DH to the deed after the fact and just not tell the bank....wait like a year and use a different atty and problem will be solved, then a few years later if your hubby fixes his credit you can re-finance and take over the mortgage too


good luck with everything

Re: Need to vent- and maybe some advice...LOOOONNNNGGGG

I don't have any advice but just went through something very similar, AND with Wells, in the end, we got a different bank.

Good luck!!!

Re: Need to vent- and maybe some advice...LOOOONNNNGGGG

Just because your DH isnt on the deed shouldnt mean anything in your relationship. Tell him that in a few years you can re-finance and put him on the deed then.

I am in a similar situation and will not be on the deed....didnt other me one bit. It did stick to have to ask my mother to co-sign but I got over it real quick once I realized it was the only way we were going to have a house of our own right now.

Tell your DH to deal with it cause the only other option is to continue renting.

Re: Need to vent- and maybe some advice...LOOOONNNNGGGG

Posted by ave1024

Posted by SadHomeBuyer

DH is ****** and ranting about he's going to be a "renter" in his own house even though he's paying the mortgage...

I gotta be honest here and say your DH needs to stop being a drama queen.

You said the bank said no because his credit was bad. Well if his credit is bad, he only has himself to blame for that.

And while I have always been one of those "never cosign" people, i'll spare it here and say your DH should be GRATEFUL that your father has offered to cosign this.

So big deal he won't be on the deed. It's not like the house isn't half his. Even if you guys get divorced, NY is an equitable distribution state and I am sure he would be putting money towards the downpayment and monthly housing costs so the house is techically his whether he is on the deed or not.

And you are right, most banks will not allow a party on the deed that is not on the mortgage. That's just the way it usually is because if the bank allows this, that puts the bank in an unfavorable risk situation.

I would just hang in there.

Re: Need to vent- and maybe some advice...LOOOONNNNGGGG

Sorry you have to deal with this, buying a home is so stressful. Honestly though I think your DH is acting like a baby. He should be greatful that your father is putting his neck on the line for someone who has bad credit. Really if he wants to do something about he should work on improving his credit score so he can secure a mortgage in the future without your dads help.

Re: Need to vent- and maybe some advice...LOOOONNNNGGGG

I worked in Real Estate law for 10 years until about 3 months ago.

I don't see why your DH can't be on the deed just because he's not on the mortgage. That's called a "non-borrower title older" Your dad probably has to also be on the deed, but your DH should still be able to.

If the bank for some odd reason is not allowing it...you can always add DH's name after closing and just pay a small recording fee. It's very simple and the bank will not know.

I do think your DH is being a bit of a drama queen, but at the same time, I guess I can understand. He probably feels emasculated.

Re: Need to vent- and maybe some advice...LOOOONNNNGGGG

My DH is on our deed but not on the mortgage. He had no credit score because he likes to pay everything in cash and has no loans or credit cards in his name. I was approved for our mortgage on my own but the bank had no problem with having his name on the deed.

I think you should double check this with your attorney. Obviously, it can be done but maybe the bank you're using has an objection. We used Bethpage Credit Union.


ETA:

Sorry, did not see the part that said that you already checked with your attorney.

Message edited 9/11/2009 5:19:06 PM.

Re: Need to vent- and maybe some advice...LOOOONNNNGGGG

Re: Need to vent- and maybe some advice...LOOOONNNNGGGG

Hi!
When we bought our house 4 years ago DH (boyfriend at the time) had horrible credit so his name was not on the deed. Last year we got married. After the wedding I had my lawyer prepared some paper work, went down to Riverhead in person and added DH to the deed. (I'm smart, I waited till I got the ring )
You can also do this via mail but it takes a few weeks and we didn't want to wait.
I'm pretty sure sometime down the road you can add DH to the deed once the mortgage goes through.
If you want to talk to my attorney FM me. She is great to work with. I think she charged me $200 for the entire process plus the county and state fee.

ETA: There was no change to my mortgage. The town does not communitcate with your mortgage company. In addition to adding DH's name to the deed, I also changed my last name on the deed to my married name.

Message edited 9/11/2009 5:55:24 PM.

Re: Need to vent- and maybe some advice...LOOOONNNNGGGG

Re: Need to vent- and maybe some advice...LOOOONNNNGGGG

another one here - I'm not on the mortgage but I'm on the deed. I wasn't working at the time we bought and had some student loans - so we left me out of the mortgage.

Re: Need to vent- and maybe some advice...LOOOONNNNGGGG

I think your bank/broker is wrong. You can be on the deed if you aren't on the mortgage. Think about how many couples would only have one spouse on the deed (if the other spouse didn't work/have any income and/or a bad credit score). You should call your title company directly.

Re: Need to vent- and maybe some advice...LOOOONNNNGGGG

I am on the Mortgage only and my DH and I are on the deed,

Re: Need to vent- and maybe some advice...LOOOONNNNGGGG

Re: Need to vent- and maybe some advice...LOOOONNNNGGGG

Hi! sorry you are going through this insanity. I swear, buying a house is unnecessarily full of ridiculous drama. ugh! Anyway, that being said, I own a 2 family with my SIL and BIL. When we bought, my SIL's credit score was hurting us, so only myself, my husband and my BIL are on the mortgage. However, all 4 of us (SIL, BIL, DH, and me) are on the deed and this was not an issue in any way. You might want to double check the situation. Good luck!

Re: Need to vent- and maybe some advice...LOOOONNNNGGGG

Re: Need to vent- and maybe some advice...LOOOONNNNGGGG

I'm really glad people told you their stories of one person being on the mortgage and the other also on the deed because hopefully it will help you sort it out. And for what it's worth, if we had needed a cosigner on our mortgage, we absolutely would have done it and my father would have offered the same. People screw up their credit, it's life, but your hubby has to man up and accept it for what it is.