Not sure if potty training is going well BTDT Mommies please give advice

Thanks in advance for reading this, I am all over the place.

Noah turned 3 about 2 weeks ago, this is our first attempt at potty training as he has NEVER shown any interest, and we have been going with the recommendations of daycare...so I haven't tried before. Last Monday I went out for the day with a friend and Noah did two wee's on the toilet, so we thought it would be a good time to give it a try, daycare thought so also. So on Tuesday he started wearing big boy underpants! Which he finds very very exciting, only problem, he doesn't tell us when he needs a wee until after he has done it and he finds it very distressing when he wets himself, which he does about 4 times a day. We have had ZILCH success with him using either a potty seat, a regular potty, or the toilet. He just wets himself. He is in a diaper at night still, so in the morning he does his poo (except for this afternoon when he did a poo in the living room, oh joy!)

I can't decide if I should stop and start again, I have been taking him out in his big boy pants to the stores, to a birthday party etc and he seems happy to be wearing them, he just does not want to go on the toilet. I don't want to push the potty training and I don't want to cause any problems in future. He will go to preschool in September and he needs to be potty trained by then....so any words of encouragement, help anything would be appreciated!

Thanks in advance, as I said before, my head is in a tizzy with this.

ETA another thing, since starting potty training I feel as is he is very anxious and not the same boy. He has become very difficult, waking up at the crack of dawn with a pooey nappy, throwing tantrums (today I had to leave my shopping at the supermarket and come home...I nearly lost my rag) and he just isn't the same boy as he was last week. He hasn't thrown a tantrum in about 2 months...

Message edited 1/25/2009 11:11:15 AM.

Re: Not sure if potty training is going well BTDT Mommies please give advice

I think you need to be a little more regimented in the beginning. For example, whenever you have him home and in his underwear, put him on the potty every 20 minutes for a few days, then stretch it to 30 minutes, etc, etc. Why not try putting those vinyl underwear on him over his big boy undies. This way he doesn't completely wet himself and stress himself out. It's a process. Hang in there and he will get it!

Re: Not sure if potty training is going well BTDT Mommies please give advice

I have no advice really because I am training too except Luka will pee in the potty and if I ask he will tell me yes or no. If he is to involved in what he is doing he will make in his undies. All it took was one time of going on the potty me going nuts and putting some Thomas the Train stickers on his potty to keep going. Unfortunately I feel like I am doing a disservice to him by going back and forth. I have no idea what to do about nursery school (the teacher said they will help me but this kid pee' a lot). Now, when he pee's or try's to pee and he can't or is done he tells me he has no more pee in his stomach. He came up with on his own so maybe you can try and explain when he feels like he has to go to tell you.

Good Luck!!

Re: Not sure if potty training is going well BTDT Mommies please give advice

I can't get him on the potty at all...he is screaming "no no no" when I try to sit him on anyone of the potties!!! I am asking him every 10-15 minutes, but he has actually started to say "Stop asking me that" He doesn't see the fun in the potty like other kids do.

Re: Not sure if potty training is going well BTDT Mommies please give advice

sounds totally normal

this is how it went for us...once you go into undies don't go back...he will eventually get it

accidents are part of the process!

the first few days he would pee on himself and then tell us...you need to clean him up quickly and with no emtion (difficult i know but just stay neutral) after he pees on himself just sit him on the potty and say (calmly) we do pee pee on the potty not the floor...okay a quick hug and that's it

the next few days he would tell us as he was peeing on the floor...

by the end of the week he would tell us a second before by two weeks we were done...he learned what the tickling sensation was and realized it meant he had to pee

naps and bedtime were disrupted as he started to recognize that "sensation"

he was amazing when we were out because he was more aware of the fact he was in undies...he would hold it for long periods of time

if he was at home and watching tv or playing on the computer he would pee on himself because he felt comfortable and cozy

just have lots on undies on hand a mop!

have fun...any more questions just ask

Re: Not sure if potty training is going well BTDT Mommies please give advice

Have you tried any type of motivation chart? Maybe that will work? Or try m&ms or some other type of candy he likes...

When DD was having constant accidents, I brought her to the dollar store and let her pick all the things she wanted. They went in a basket and were called stay dry suprises...if she stayed dry for the day, she got to pick one. After a while, she got a prize every week...

Re: Not sure if potty training is going well BTDT Mommies please give advice

I found you just need to fully committ and do it. For months Ella would sometimes use the potty, sometimes want a diaper, etc. I finally just said no more diapers and it was all potty all the time for the next few days. Whenever she used the potty, she got a special treat. If she asked for a diaper, I told her we gave them all away to the babies.

I *knew* she was ready. I wasn't ready to deal with accidents, and running for a potty in the store, car, etc.

She's still in a pullup at night (due to her milk addiction but only panties during the day.

Re: Not sure if potty training is going well BTDT Mommies please give advice

Aly did the same thing when we started. She was at the point of telling me she needed a diaper change!

Over winter break I put in her in panties with no choice. We had accidents for a few days, some days she stayed dry through naps, heck she even stayed dry all night a few times.

During the day we often put her potty in the LR where she can play or watch tv without leaving what she's doing to go potty (and we're working on running upstairs when she needs to go now and she's doing great).

Maybe it's because the potty isn't familiar enough for him? does that make sense....

maybe put a kid potty where he spends most of his time, get a potty DVD for him to watch, use bribery! We used stickers and jelly beans and a potty chart and she got the biggest kick out of getting a sticker each time to put on there.

Maybe start with a reward system where he gets something for just sitting on the potty/trying to go, then something more or better for when he DOES pee on the potty.

We also let Aly pick out her panties. She'll still start an accident if she's WAY distracted, but she stops and finishes on the potty but those are so few and far between. We went to a store the other day and she went 3 different times! (2 pees and a poo!)

Re: Not sure if potty training is going well BTDT Mommies please give advice

Thanks everyone! I feel like Noah has no concept of rewards and motivation with me, probably because he has always been such a good kid that I got him whatever he asked for etc.

I am going to just keep it going with the big boy pants and try everything! I am just worried because I really feel like his behaviour has changed with the anxiety of the whole thing.

Ugh, thank goodness he is in bed now Mommy is going to break out the Mommy wine, but I can only have a few sips due to being pregnant. Ugh!

Re: Not sure if potty training is going well BTDT Mommies please give advice

I found the best thing to do was to go cold turkey. Right now, you have a huge advantage in that he can't stand to be wet. The worst possibility is when they don't mind.

We went back & forth with pull-ups, underwear, etc. I found myself relying on pull-ups when we had long car rides, etc. After thinking about it some more, I realized I was sending mixed signals. You need to go on the potty unless mommy is too lazy to find a potty because we're on a long car ride.

You're going to have to be the one running into stores, etc. eventually & from my experience - the sooner, the better.

Bring spare clothes with you at all times. If you go to party, he should go as soon as you get there. Pay more attention to the signals - the potty dance, how much liquid he's had, pinching his penis - everything.

We set the timer at home every 20 minutes, they had to sit on the potty until they were telling us.

Sitting on the potty is doing their business & getting off. It's not reading them a book or talking to them, etc.

Good luck! Life is so much better when you're diaperbag less!!

Re: Not sure if potty training is going well BTDT Mommies please give advice

You've gotten great advice here and by age 3 it's usually time to get started, so stick with it & fully commit. I'd recommend the video "Potty Power" from your local library.