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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Observation about the Parenting board lately
I am not trying to start drama. I think most of you all "know" me enough to know that this is not my intention with this post.
I think that we can all get caught up in things and I think that some people's responses are just so blatently obnoxious and judgemental.
We are all moms here. We are learning each and every day. Whether it's a mom of a newborn - or a mom of a 10 year old - we all have something to give, and at times, everyone needs advice.
I mean really, how many times have people asked about sleeping, eating, pooping, playing - whatever it may be. If we can't take the time to help each other out without being snotty then really, what good is this board for?
I am sure that I am guilty of it also - I just think that if we all thought about what we were writing - before we actually wrote it - and said to ourselves "Would I speak to my best friend this way" the board would be a much nicer place.
I'm really not trying to be preachy - and I'm not trying to start anything at all - I just think we all need to start respecting and understand that everyone is different. Everyone has different parenting techniques and what may be right for one mom - may be completely wrong for another.
Again - maybe I have too much time of my hands since the little man is having a sleep over!
 
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Posted 5/31/08 10:38 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
JRD2008
CT. here we come!!
Member since 5/08 2944 total posts
Name:
Kathleen
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Re: Observation about the Parenting board lately
I am pretty new here, but I think your post was very well put. It's hard enough being a mommy, we are all in this together. I love coming here for advice, and I hope as my son gets older I'll have some advice to share also.
Good luck with your son's sleepover tonight!
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| Posted 5/31/08 10:42 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Observation about the Parenting board lately
The way people always say on NFR..."If you don't like it, don't read it...."
I'd like the motto over here to be "If one can't answer in a way that is helpful or respectful, don't respond...."
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| Posted 5/31/08 10:46 PM |
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jules
Changing everyday
Member since 1/08 2281 total posts
Name:
julia
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Re: Observation about the Parenting board lately
Posted by JRD2008
I am pretty new here, but I think your post was very well put. It's hard enough being a mommy, we are all in this together. I love coming here for advice, and I hope as my son gets older I'll have some advice to share also.
Good luck with your son's sleepover tonight!
ITA...
I am on the newer side too but i think that lately i too have seen some things that kinda put me off.
And what hit home for me was the whole formula threads. People want to not be judged in one thread, yet judge in others. 
I am happy and sooo thankful that i have gotten great advice and guidance by the posters on here. But i have to say i agree with the OP.
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| Posted 5/31/08 10:48 PM |
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peabody
Love green icing!!!
Member since 5/05 4691 total posts
Name:
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Re: Observation about the Parenting board lately
I actuallu haven't noticed anything.
Could be that I am totally sleep deprived. Everyone on here has been really helpful and supportive to me.
This has been a rough time for me, especially when I couldn't sleep a couple of days ago and I got an FM from another Mom with a suggestion that really helped me.
I am thankful I can come on here and ask for advice and support.
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| Posted 5/31/08 10:52 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Observation about the Parenting board lately
I agree
Maybe Im half asleep but I didnt see any dramam or judging. Although I have seen it "hinted" at. I dont read all the posts so I may have missed it.
I respect everyones decisions and feel no question is too dumb.
I had some semi harsh words for a poster today, IMO innocent on my part but can see they taken wrong and I stand by my right to speak how I feel on a post put out that but also stand by the fact that I would NEVER judge or belittle a poster for their parenting choices.
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| Posted 5/31/08 10:54 PM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: Observation about the Parenting board lately
I agree. However, if you just want people to AGREE with you, then don't ask for opinions, KWIM? We all have different opinions and ways of doing things.
If we were all the same or all agreed, life would be pretty durn boring!
I am honest and sometimes a bit abrupt but I also shut my mouth more than I open it.
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| Posted 5/31/08 11:35 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Observation about the Parenting board lately
I have noticed myself rolling my eyes when I read posts that seem to have OP's real life friends ralling to support them no matter what the situation is.
which usually drives me crazy, like you can be friends, but have your own thoughts on a topic...
but then I have to tell myself, they know poster IRL, maybe they know how she is really coming across and what she means....where I am only going by what I imagine the person is and what their tone may be.
if that makes sense
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| Posted 5/31/08 11:46 PM |
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waterspout4
My loves
Member since 5/06 19150 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Observation about the Parenting board lately
What frustrates me are when people respond to a topic all "Geesh, this question has been asked SSSSSoooooooo many times" We are all learning at different times and our children do things at different paces. Just because the same question might have been answered last week doesn't mean that the original poster needs to be shunned.
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| Posted 6/1/08 1:22 AM |
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nbc188
Best friends!
Member since 12/06 23090 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Observation about the Parenting board lately
I haven't noticed too much drama, but ITA with everything you say. This should be a nurturing, open environment with positivity and advice 
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| Posted 6/1/08 7:19 AM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Observation about the Parenting board lately
I think people take posts way too seriously. Of course, it touch home sometimes but we can't blame other posters for our own issues/beliefs.
A recent post asked people opinions on abortion and Down Syndrome/CP. In light of some people comments, there is no way I felt confortable answering the OP.
After hearing that it was "horrendous"... geez, what I am going to say. Yes, I would have aborted. I am a horrible person. Well, I did not even want to bother answering and being judged and flamed.
Message edited 6/1/2008 7:28:31 AM.
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| Posted 6/1/08 7:25 AM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Observation about the Parenting board lately
Posted by waterspout4
What frustrates me are when people respond to a topic all "Geesh, this question has been asked SSSSSoooooooo many times" We are all learning at different times and our children do things at different paces. Just because the same question might have been answered last week doesn't mean that the original poster needs to be shunned.
I agree with this. I do try to do a search for an answer but sometimes it's nice to get feedback from the parents that are in the same boat currently - things are constantly changing AND it's nice, I know for me, to be able to post and have a mom of a child close to Ryan's age respond b/c then I feel a connection to her and know I have someone to FM with over the same issue. It's always great to get feedback from moms that have BTDT, but it stinks to get "do a search, we've answered this" type of responses. We all know the search option is available but sometimes we post just to be able to communicate with other moms - for a lot of us, this is our only parenting resource. For me personally, I am the first of my group of friends to have a baby - I have a few random friends that have children, but the majority of my friends are just engaged or newlyweds and not at my stage family-wise yet so I really rely on you ladies and appreciate chatting with you all 
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| Posted 6/1/08 7:27 AM |
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LIMOMx2
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Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: Observation about the Parenting board lately
Some people don't even realize they are being obnoxious. I have been guilty of it at times and after feel awful because I didn't mean anything by it. KWIM? Like I just looked back at the pool thread and my gosh I was sooo nasty about it. I have to go back and edit it
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| Posted 6/1/08 7:31 AM |
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EmmaNick
*
Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
*
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Re: Observation about the Parenting board lately
My thought is that just because we are all moms doesn't mean we all have to like each other, get along, or sugar coat every single thing. I'm not like that IRL with other moms just because they are moms. I have had a few too many co-workers in life that too were moms and I didn't look past the BS just to get along with them because they were moms. I think of this board as real life. Some stuff that is said makes me  and a lot of other stuff makes me  .
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| Posted 6/1/08 7:35 AM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Observation about the Parenting board lately
Posted by smdl
I think people take posts way too seriously. Of course, it touch home sometimes but we can't blame other posters for our own issues/beliefs.
A recent post asked people opinions on abortion and Down Syndrome/CP. In light of some people comments, there is no way I felt confortable answering the OP.
After hearing that it was "horrendous"... geez, what I am going to say. Yes, I would have aborted. I am a horrible person. Well, I did not even want to bother answering and being judged and flamed.
I guess this was at me since i used the word horrendous...however that is MY opinion and I am allowed to state it. That is how I feel and the question was asked, so I answered. I could have said "no" and left it at that, but everyone else can answer with a follow up as to why they feel a certain way, so why can't I?
If anyone takes offense to a word or a comment, then they are the ones with a problem with it, not me..
I respect most people on these boards and ALWAYS offer advice...but it is a forum constructed of many types of peope with many types of people and I feel that is the beauty of it!
Message edited 6/1/2008 7:57:19 AM.
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| Posted 6/1/08 7:54 AM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Observation about the Parenting board lately
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by smdl
I think people take posts way too seriously. Of course, it touch home sometimes but we can't blame other posters for our own issues/beliefs.
A recent post asked people opinions on abortion and Down Syndrome/CP. In light of some people comments, there is no way I felt confortable answering the OP.
After hearing that it was "horrendous"... geez, what I am going to say. Yes, I would have aborted. I am a horrible person. Well, I did not even want to bother answering and being judged and flamed.
I guess this was at me since i used the word horrendous...however that MY opinion and I am allowed to state it. That is how I feel and the question was asked, so I answered. I could have said "no" and left it at that, but everyone else can answer with a follow up as to why they feel a certain way, so why can't I?
If anyone takes offense to a word or a comment, then they are the ones with a problem with it, not me..
I respect most people on these boards and ALWAYS offer advice...but it is a forum constructed of many types of peope with many types of people and I feel that is the beauty of it!
See a post like that - I feel like unless you're interested in getting in a heated debate, no way I'd answer it. Obviously, I know I'm entitled to my opinion, but that's a hot topic so unless I'm in the mood for a little online jousting, I'm steering clear of it. I don't feel like someone shouldn't use the word horrendous or whatever they want to use to describe how they feel about something - it's their opinion.
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| Posted 6/1/08 7:57 AM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Observation about the Parenting board lately
Posted by SweetCaroline
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by smdl
I think people take posts way too seriously. Of course, it touch home sometimes but we can't blame other posters for our own issues/beliefs.
A recent post asked people opinions on abortion and Down Syndrome/CP. In light of some people comments, there is no way I felt confortable answering the OP.
After hearing that it was "horrendous"... geez, what I am going to say. Yes, I would have aborted. I am a horrible person. Well, I did not even want to bother answering and being judged and flamed.
I guess this was at me since i used the word horrendous...however that MY opinion and I am allowed to state it. That is how I feel and the question was asked, so I answered. I could have said "no" and left it at that, but everyone else can answer with a follow up as to why they feel a certain way, so why can't I?
If anyone takes offense to a word or a comment, then they are the ones with a problem with it, not me..
I respect most people on these boards and ALWAYS offer advice...but it is a forum constructed of many types of peope with many types of people and I feel that is the beauty of it!
See a post like that - I feel like unless you're interested in getting in a heated debate, no way I'd answer it. Obviously, I know I'm entitled to my opinion, but that's a hot topic so unless I'm in the mood for a little online jousting, I'm steering clear of it. I don't feel like someone shouldn't use the word horrendous or whatever they want to use to describe how they feel about something - it's their opinion.
But its a question about aborting a fetus with down syndrome!! For those of us who are pro life it really hits a nerve when questions like that are asked. I read all the answers and you know what? I like hearing everyones viewpoints and it was interesting to me to see that many feel the way I do regardless of statistics that state 80% of babies with downs will be aborted.
I really don't see anything wrong with using the word horrendous if that is how I feel. I'm not going to candy coat something very sensitive to me. If we can't express ourselves, then deep questions shouldn't be asked...and this one was very deep!
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| Posted 6/1/08 8:00 AM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Observation about the Parenting board lately
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by smdl
I think people take posts way too seriously. Of course, it touch home sometimes but we can't blame other posters for our own issues/beliefs.
A recent post asked people opinions on abortion and Down Syndrome/CP. In light of some people comments, there is no way I felt confortable answering the OP.
After hearing that it was "horrendous"... geez, what I am going to say. Yes, I would have aborted. I am a horrible person. Well, I did not even want to bother answering and being judged and flamed.
I guess this was at me since i used the word horrendous...however that MY opinion and I am allowed to state it. That is how I feel and the question was asked, so I answered. I could have said "no" and left it at that, but everyone else can answer with a follow up as to why they feel a certain way, so why can't I?
If anyone takes offense to a word or a comment, then they are the ones with a problem with it, not me..
I respect most people on these boards and ALWAYS offer advice...but it is a forum constructed of many types of peope with many types of people and I feel that is the beauty of it!
I was not going to name you per se. It's just that what you said stayed in mind and I just used the word you used. I honestly could not even reply after you posted. Of course it's your opinion and you are totally entitled to write it without a doubt. I just felt the way you worded it made it that I or anyone else would have been horrible for even mentioning why I/they would have done it. I think you could have said why you would not do it and not use this word which was then judgmental on other who would have chose this avenue.
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| Posted 6/1/08 8:01 AM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Observation about the Parenting board lately
Posted by smdl
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by smdl
I think people take posts way too seriously. Of course, it touch home sometimes but we can't blame other posters for our own issues/beliefs.
A recent post asked people opinions on abortion and Down Syndrome/CP. In light of some people comments, there is no way I felt confortable answering the OP.
After hearing that it was "horrendous"... geez, what I am going to say. Yes, I would have aborted. I am a horrible person. Well, I did not even want to bother answering and being judged and flamed.
I guess this was at me since i used the word horrendous...however that MY opinion and I am allowed to state it. That is how I feel and the question was asked, so I answered. I could have said "no" and left it at that, but everyone else can answer with a follow up as to why they feel a certain way, so why can't I?
If anyone takes offense to a word or a comment, then they are the ones with a problem with it, not me..
I respect most people on these boards and ALWAYS offer advice...but it is a forum constructed of many types of peope with many types of people and I feel that is the beauty of it!
I was not going to name you per se. It's just that what you said stayed in mind and I just used the word you used. I honestly could not even reply after you posted. Of course it's your opinion and you are totally entitled to write it without a doubt. I just felt the way you worded it made it that I or anyone else would have been horrible for even mentioning why I/they would have done it. I think you could have said why you would not do it and not use this word which was then judgmental on other who would have chose this avenue.
I was the only one to use that word so of course I knew it was me..
With that being said, I'm sorry to have offended but this is a hard subject for me and truthfully, I wrote how I felt..others have written similar things in the past about the subject and these things always get heated. I don't think I did anything wrong by stating how i felt. If anyone feels what I said is wrong, then that is fine! They can reply the reasons why they WOULD abort and why it would be right for them and that is that.
-I have decided that from now on, i will stay out of any posts with the subject of abortion..it always leaves me feeling badly, and it's not worth an argument over. We are all human and allowed to make our own decisions...and I apologize if i really truly offended anyone.
Message edited 6/1/2008 8:12:15 AM.
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| Posted 6/1/08 8:06 AM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Observation about the Parenting board lately
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by SweetCaroline
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by smdl
I think people take posts way too seriously. Of course, it touch home sometimes but we can't blame other posters for our own issues/beliefs.
A recent post asked people opinions on abortion and Down Syndrome/CP. In light of some people comments, there is no way I felt confortable answering the OP.
After hearing that it was "horrendous"... geez, what I am going to say. Yes, I would have aborted. I am a horrible person. Well, I did not even want to bother answering and being judged and flamed.
I guess this was at me since i used the word horrendous...however that MY opinion and I am allowed to state it. That is how I feel and the question was asked, so I answered. I could have said "no" and left it at that, but everyone else can answer with a follow up as to why they feel a certain way, so why can't I?
If anyone takes offense to a word or a comment, then they are the ones with a problem with it, not me..
I respect most people on these boards and ALWAYS offer advice...but it is a forum constructed of many types of peope with many types of people and I feel that is the beauty of it!
See a post like that - I feel like unless you're interested in getting in a heated debate, no way I'd answer it. Obviously, I know I'm entitled to my opinion, but that's a hot topic so unless I'm in the mood for a little online jousting, I'm steering clear of it. I don't feel like someone shouldn't use the word horrendous or whatever they want to use to describe how they feel about something - it's their opinion.
But its a question about aborting a fetus with down syndrome!! For those of us who are pro life it really hits a nerve when questions like that are asked. I read all the answers and you know what? I like hearing everyones viewpoints and it was interesting to me to see that many feel the way I do regardless of statistics that state 80% of babies with downs will be aborted.
I really don't see anything wrong with using the word horrendous if that is how I feel. I'm not going to candy coat something very sensitive to me. If we can't express ourselves, then deep questions shouldn't be asked...and this one was very deep!
I'm sorry if I came off like I didn't think you should use the word horrendous - I expect such a word to be used in an abortion discussion - it's def. one side of the coin and I, personally, take no offense to the way you expressed your opinion. I said I don't feel like someone "shouldn't" (I guess that is confusing) use the word - meaning, by all means - use it. It's you opinion about a very sensitive topic.
My point was, for me personally, unless on that particular day I'm in the mood for a little back and forth - I steer clear of such topics. And if I am going to participate in such a topic, I think no less of anyone for expressing their opinion - it's an abortion post - of course there will be a little heated debate.
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| Posted 6/1/08 8:20 AM |
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Re: Observation about the Parenting board lately
There have been many times that I didn't bother responding because I know that the OP or others would not have liked what I had to say.
IMO, if you are posting a question, or looking for advice, be prepared to get honest opinions. I don't think that people are being intentionally obnoxious, but sometimes it is hard to tell what a persons tone is through just typing. Some responses are more blunt than others, and may come across that way, but, you know what, that is the way life is!
I think that some people take the boards wayyyy to seriously. If you are asking for advice, be prepared to hear some answers that you might not have been looking for. I have seen people get upset over responses that were NOT written with attitude, so to speak, but very honest and not what they wanted to hear. This drives me crazy!!!! You're putting it out there, and if you are too sensitive to accept the variation of responses, then don't post.
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| Posted 6/1/08 8:23 AM |
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2BEANS
wow time is going fast.
Member since 9/07 16106 total posts
Name:
Tina
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Re: Observation about the Parenting board lately
I agree with you 100%. I know people have a right to voice their opinions and well thats just how life is.. but i just feel like some posts get taken out of hand.
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| Posted 6/1/08 8:29 AM |
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chelle
It's a Good Life
Member since 8/06 15404 total posts
Name:
Isn't it obvious?
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Re: Observation about the Parenting board lately
Posted by BabySammie
I agree with you 100%. I know people have a right to voice their opinions and well thats just how life is.. but i just feel like some posts get taken out of hand.
ITA!
And very well said in 1st post Diana
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| Posted 6/1/08 8:46 AM |
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2PreciousBlessings
The Perfect Pair
Member since 5/06 19861 total posts
Name:
Best Wife & Mommy
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Re: Observation about the Parenting board lately
Posted by BabySammie
I agree with you 100%. I know people have a right to voice their opinions and well thats just how life is.. but i just feel like some posts get taken out of hand.
ITA! Also, voicing one's opinion doesn't mean that a person got to be rude. People can voice their opinion in a very polite way.
Message edited 6/1/2008 9:12:28 AM.
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| Posted 6/1/08 8:48 AM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Observation about the Parenting board lately
Posted by karacg
I agree. However, if you just want people to AGREE with you, then don't ask for opinions, KWIM? We all have different opinions and ways of doing things.
Fixed Quote in next post
Message edited 6/1/2008 9:16:34 AM.
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| Posted 6/1/08 9:10 AM |
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