Odd question, somewhat parenting related (long)

I've been receiving IMs from my FBIL's (my sister's fiance) foster brother (did you follow that?).

I met him once briefly - at my sister's engagement party in Sept. I think he's around 10? 12?

He's new to the family - I think my FBIL's mom has only been fostering him for a few months. So my sister and FBIL really have no relationship with him (he lives out of state). He has my email because it was on the shower invites, and FBIL's mom had him email me an additional address.

But now whenever I'm online, he IMs me. And he nagging and needy in the IMs
"hello
are you there
hi
this is j
hello
how are you..."
(thats all before I even reply)

I'm not sure what the right way is to handle this. I've been responding nicely but not really encouraging further conversation and/or I'll sign off after a short exchange.

I know FBIL has some resentment about him (mom never had time for him, and now fosters another son, etc), so I don't want to step on toes, and I don't want to be harassed every time I'm online and I'm not sure its appropriate that he's IMing me, but I also don't want to turn my back on a kid who seems lonely/needy.

Talking to FBIL's mom is not really an option, and I don't want anyone to tell "J" to stop IM-ing me, cause that will make him feel bad.

So what do I do?

Message edited 11/6/2008 6:07:19 PM.

Re: Odd question, somewhat parenting related (long)

Block him

Re: Odd question, somewhat parenting related (long)

Honestly, that is how a slightly hyper pre-teen would act (not at all implying he is hyper active, I'm just saying this is how they would act). My nephew is 9 and that is how he send e-mails, not even IMs! Think of how they play/talk...
You could just indicate, somehow, that even though it may appear you are online, you just leave your computer on. This way, his feelings aren't going to get hurt by you not replying and it gives you a bit of an out

Re: Odd question, somewhat parenting related (long)

well...I am someone who read it and thinks I would respond to im from time to time....

however, I became report card pen pals with one of DH's cousins once. He would tell me how many A's he got and I would send him a dollar an A. It went on for 2.5 years....I felt bad, his dad(FIL's brother) was dead and his mom was a deadbeat.

Now, he is a Latin King who has my mother's home address

so I tend to jump into these things.

Re: Odd question, somewhat parenting related (long)

Posted by Summerrluvv

Block him