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wannabemom
look who's freshly baked!
Member since 12/07 7364 total posts
Name:
aka marriedinportjeff
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ok grammar experts.... a question for you...
I am proofing an email DH will be sending to a professor. He's inviting him to give a seminar. In the letter, DH introduces himself and his research interests. Here's the sentence I was rewriting, yet still dislike, but don't know how to correct:
My research interests include the transmembrane transport and intracellular trafficking of the neuromodulatory lipids endocannabnoids.
I feel it would sound better if it was written:
.... the neuromodulatory lipids called endocannabinoids.
(endocannabinoids are neuromodulatory lipids. the prof receiving this letter may not know that.... therefore, it's important to explain that endocannabinoids are lipidsl However, adding the word 'called' makes it sound like endocannabinoids are something novel (they're not). If he HAS heard about endocannabinoids, then 'called endocannabinoids' would sound ridiculous.
ex. my favorite frozen dessert is called ice cream
KWIM?
Is there a piece of punctuation that can be added to the top sentence? Or do I have to find a way to not use a noun (lipids) as an adjective 
TIA
how about a non-scientific sentence as the example:
My favorite foods include the frozen dessert ice cream.
Is that proper grammar? If not, can you correct it?
Message edited 5/20/2009 4:10:12 PM.
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Posted 5/20/09 4:00 PM  |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: ok grammar experts.... a question for you...
how about this
My research interests include the transmembrane transport and intracellular trafficking of the neuromodulatory lipids, specifically endocannabnoids.
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| Posted 5/20/09 4:08 PM |
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wannabemom
look who's freshly baked!
Member since 12/07 7364 total posts
Name:
aka marriedinportjeff
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Re: ok grammar experts.... a question for you...
Posted by Ophelia
how about this
My research interests include the transmembrane transport and intracellular trafficking of the neuromodulatory lipids, specifically endocannabnoids.
mmm, that's definitely better..... thanks
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| Posted 5/20/09 4:11 PM |
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bird382
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Member since 7/07 1712 total posts
Name:
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Re: ok grammar experts.... a question for you...
I would say either:
....trafficking of neuromodulatory lipids (endocannabinoids).
or
...trafficking of endocannabinoids, a group of neuromodulatory lipids shown to [add relevant stuff here].
The first is concise, so probably preferred by a busy prof.
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| Posted 5/20/09 4:13 PM |
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wannabemom
look who's freshly baked!
Member since 12/07 7364 total posts
Name:
aka marriedinportjeff
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Re: ok grammar experts.... a question for you...
Posted by bird382
I would say either:
....trafficking of neuromodulatory lipids (endocannabinoids).
or
...trafficking of endocannabinoids, a group of neuromodulatory lipids shown to [add relevant stuff here].
The first is concise, so probably preferred by a busy prof.
brevity is the soul of wit....  (and is essential for scientific writing)
thanks!
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| Posted 5/20/09 4:19 PM |
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JessInCA
live laugh love
Member since 8/06 5082 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: ok grammar experts.... a question for you...
Posted by Ophelia
how about this
My research interests include the transmembrane transport and intracellular trafficking of the neuromodulatory lipids, specifically endocannabnoids.
I like it this way. Much clearer.
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| Posted 5/20/09 4:25 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: ok grammar experts.... a question for you...
Posted by JessInCA
Posted by Ophelia
how about this
My research interests include the transmembrane transport and intracellular trafficking of the neuromodulatory lipids, specifically endocannabnoids.
I like it this way. Much clearer.
Me too.
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| Posted 5/20/09 4:29 PM |
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