Our first night of sleep training... Is this normal? (long)

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So I posted last night that Sasha woke up about an hour and half after we put her down. She NEVER wakes up this early, and she is consistently waking up more and and more each night. DH and I just decided right then and there to begin sleep training. I was originally going to wait til she was 5 months (in 2 weeks). We, meaning ME, found it easier to begin when we are both up, before we are in bed and woken up in the middle of the night.

So, we did the Ferber Method-- going in immediately to soothe, then again after 3 mins, then 5, 7, then 10. We decided if she was still crying after the end of the 10 min interval, we would stop.

She was RELENTLESS last night! I thought maybe after the first wake up, we'd have a bit of an easier night. NOPE!

7 45: Asleep at the beginning of the 7 min interval

10:15: Asleep at the beginning of the 7 min interval

2:00: Asleep at the beginning of the 10 min interval (DH did this one)

4:00: Asleep after soothing.

4:15: Asleep after soothing.

4:30: I nursed back to sleep since I was beginning to see a pattern here. I was originally going to wait til 5 to feed her, but she was not staying asleep.

5:30: AWAKE!! ; We left her in the crib as she was not crying, DH got her at 6:00, then I nursed her and put her back down to sleep.

7:15ish: Awake AGAIN. Again, she woke up "playing", so I left her for a few... Seemingly she is happy.

Now at 8:30, she is down for a nap.

**Is it normal that she woke up SO many times? Should I be doing something different?**

After we did it the first time last night, it wasn't so bad-- especially with the intervals and she fell asleep pretty quickly. Watching her on the monitor helped.

The WORST part for me-- was that I did it all myself. I had to wake DH up to do one of the soothing intervals because I couldn't take getting out of bed for the 50th time. Even if he hears her crying, he just rolled over, went back to sleep and let me do it. I feel like I am doing all of this hard work all by myself , especially with the naps also in the daytime. I DO NOT feel like part of a team at all.

Re: Our first night of sleep training... Is this normal? (long)

what was it like before you started the sleep training??

Re: Our first night of sleep training... Is this normal? (long)

randi, does she use a pacifier? or have a lovey in the crib?

Re: Our first night of sleep training... Is this normal? (long)

How old is she?

Re: Our first night of sleep training... Is this normal? (long)

I am laughing but wanting to cry reading this post... I had basically the same exact night! It sounds like you are doing everything right, but Im definitely no expert. I remember you saying that Sasha used to sleep much better and longer. Chloe did as well and it seems like once she turned 4 months, a lot of her sleep issues started. I think it's a combo of teething, being social/fighting sleep, waking herself up (sucking on her fingers, pulling on her ears, pulling her pacifier out).

I am really hoping that this is just a phase for both of us.

Sorry you feel like all of the pressure is on you... maybe talk to DH and tell him how frustrating it is focusing on naps all day long that once the nighttime comes, you are tired of it and so frustrated. DH and I had this talk last night. He is great and offers to help during the night, but I have to wake him to ask him for help. Plus, I end up listening on the monitor and going in to help most of the time.

Re: Our first night of sleep training... Is this normal? (long)

awww...I totally get it. I was there about a month ago and DS is 6 months today. I guess it is common for that age. Did you try the lovey/burp cloth? It was the answer to my problem. He needed something to soothe him. good luck. BTW...I was also the one getting up a million times a night. DH "didn't hear him" although the monitor was blasting. . Hang in there!

Re: Our first night of sleep training... Is this normal? (long)

To answer some questions...

Before we started this, she was waking up more and more. Initially, once her bedtime moved up-- she woke up once to eat. Then starting at about 3 months, it was twice. Now, at almost 5 months, she wakes up more and more and needs to be soothed back to sleep-- she is playing us probably.

She is still swaddled since we tried a sleep sack two weeks ago and it was a disaster. She still has the startle reflex pretty strongly and wakes herself up. Therefore, we have nothing in the crib like a lovey which she can use to soothe herself since she wouldn't be able to get to it. Although she is completely capable of falling asleep on her own.

We give her the pacifier, but sometimes she spits it out. She is not dependent on it. Last night, it was a struggle to get her to take it when she was crying-- but I kept at it since I knew it would help soothe her.

Re: Our first night of sleep training... Is this normal? (long)

Randi I am in the same boat.... this was our schedule last night:
6:49 started swaddling nursing and bed………..would wake up every time I put her down or would sleep 10-15 minutes and back awake. Didn’t officially fall asleep until 8:55 pm
Wake up at 10:50pm pm- re-swaddle- water from bottle to suck on fell asleep easily at 11 pm
Wake up at 1:30am res-waddle nurse- more difficult to go back to sleep fell asleep 2:10 am
Wake up 4 am soaked diaper. Drank 1 oz formula pooped re-swaddled and nursed back to sleep 6:00 am
Wake up at 7:30 am


DH DOES NOT HELP And if he does get up he is sooo PI**ED off that he gets angry and yells at her which doesn't help matters so I'm all alone.

I don't have the guts to CIO cause I yet her cry a few days ago adn she vomited bile and I'm so scared of her doing that with her reflux.

I can't leave teh house anymore because I'm so exhausted I've almost fallen asleep at the wheel.

i'm at a complete loss as to waht to do as well

Re: Our first night of sleep training... Is this normal? (long)

DD started to rebel against the swaddle, so we tried to swaddle her below her arms... disaster. I know swaddle her completely if she is totally asleep or one arm at a time -did you try the one arm?

I think it's a phase that hey have to get used to startling themselves and then soothing themselves back to sleep. BTDT moms... is this normal???

Hopefully tonight will be a little better.

Re: Our first night of sleep training... Is this normal? (long)

Re: Our first night of sleep training... Is this normal? (long)

BTW, how do you "introduce" a lovey? I try to give stuff to Sasha to get her to self-soothe and she doens't seem into anything.

Re: Our first night of sleep training... Is this normal? (long)

Jack never wanted any part of a lovey.

I don't know how old she is, or what you are comfortable doing, but I can say that when we started to let Jack CIO at 6 mnths - going in to soothe him made it SOOOOO much worse for him. He would get more upset than before we went in there. Maybe you want to try not going in there?

Personally, CIO took much longer than 10 minutes in the beginning. I believe the first day it was around 45 minutes and then it got less and less each day. Within a week he went down without a problem. Again, this was at 6 months old, I have no idea how old your DD is or what your comfort level is with letting her cry. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable letting a baby under 6 months cry for that long.

Also, do you have a white noise machine in her room?

Message edited 6/23/2009 10:53:10 AM.

Re: Our first night of sleep training... Is this normal? (long)

Re: Our first night of sleep training... Is this normal? (long)

First off...

Unfortunately i've been there. At 5 months old, my ds was waking 5 times a night for 2 months straight. Everyone kept saying it was a phase and it wasn't. It also wasn't about hunger because once you picked him up, he was fine and wouldn't cry. Once you put him back down again, he'd cry. He was definitely playing us! A few times we even would look down while rocking him and he was staring us right in the face. But as soon as he saw us looking at him, he'd close his eyes. Little booger!!!! It was a total game!

2nd... YES it is normal for them to wake up that much. But you are extremely lucky in that it usually took less than 10 minutes each time for her to soothe herself back to sleep. So lucky! My son could cry for hours.

Every child is different. Everytime i read those posts in which the kid went to sleep within minutes, i'd be so jealous. However my kid on the other hand is so stubborn and could cry for 2 hours.

Hang in there. It's only night 1. It will get better and you're already off to a great start... even if you don't think so. Trust me, you are!

IMO, it's better to do this now then later. My son is a year old and we still have to do CIO here and there. Trust me, he knows how to work it and to get what he wants. It only gets harder to do it as they get older and smarter.

ETA: oh i just wanted to add that my husband has rotating shifts and works a lot of nights. So 3/4's of the time, it's all me doing the CIO and it definitely s*cks!!!!

Message edited 6/23/2009 11:24:32 AM.

Re: Our first night of sleep training... Is this normal? (long)

1. there is no such thing as normal

2. once a pattern is established, it will change

from my experience i do what feels right, currently battling CIO with #2 myself and failing miserably