Parents of 2 or more kids (old enough to fight) come inside

How do you deal with the sibling rivalry? My older 2 are 4 and 2 1/2 and they fight over so many things, I am going in circles trying to discipline this one, stop that one, make this one give something up, make the other give something back. Yelling, fighting.... I need a tranquilizer. They just squabble like crazy.

Here's an example - My DD got a Little Mermaid spoon and fork in her Christmas stocking. My DS wants to use it. Shouldnt she share it sometimes? So sometimes I let him use one and she uses the other. I figured I'd get him the same set with Mickey Mouse on it and all would be fine (although I knew it wouldnt be). So now they have breakfast, I give DD the Mermaid, DS the Mickey Mouse forks. My DD ( 2 1/2) insists she needs spoon (even though the meal didnt require spoons). She goes in the drawer and gets - the Mickey Mouse spoon. Just to be a ball breaker! So DS pitches a fit of course because she knew he would.

So small and trivial in a way but they're little kids so obviously these are their battles. Id love to be consistent about handling their sibling squabbles - like with the spoon and fork - does she get to use the spoon? because its the foundation for their future fights. They fight about lots more than that as you can imagine but I'd love to hear how anyone handles the fights with fairness...

Anyone with any tips?

Re: Parents of 2 or more kids (old enough to fight) come inside

No tips just sympathy because I go through the EXACT same thing with Emma and Jeremy

Re: Parents of 2 or more kids (old enough to fight) come inside

By no means do I have my act together - my 5 year old will prod, poke & now blow on his 3 year old sister just to annoy her.

Most things in our house don't have owners. In other word, everything is the family's. There are things that they both tend to play with more. When one picks something just to annoy the other, we either set a timer or we say "This time he gets it, next time you will have it." (this works with who gets to sit next to Mommy at dinner too). None of our plates, spoons, etc are any one person's. If it becomes an issue, the person who sets the table or cleans up picks.

Another thing I do is separate them. They have to stay in their rooms or on different couches for 5 minutes. At the end of the five minutes, they want to play. Most of the time, I make myself into the bad guy so they have some solidarity with each other. I'm still impressed that Maddie will stand up to DH & say "Daddy, don't yell at my brother!!"

Message edited 1/16/2007 12:00:15 AM.