Parents of one child...

I cannot have any more children biologically and I would love to adopt one day. I am happy for everyone who gets a BFP and is TTC #'s 2, 3, 4, 5 or more, I truly am happy for all of you. It is sometimes hard to come on here and see the posts of all the BFP's, TTC's, the guess who is the next to "come out" and when should I try to TTC #2 or #3 posts. So for those of us who only have one child lets post something positive and focus on what we HAVE rather than what we do not have. I do not want to offend anyone and that is not my intention. I just wanted a thread where we can share our joy as well.

So...I'll start.
Reasons why I love having one child...

1) ONE college tuition and wedding to save/pay for

2) I love when I do not have any closings for work and I keep her out of daycare. We have a mommy and Gracie day and I LOVE THAT. We do all her favorite things (go to the park, read, dance, cook, etc.) without having to worry about anything or anyone else for hours.

3) I love that fact that if I want to food shop or run errands it is so easy now that Grace is 2 yrs old. No stroller to lug around, no car seat to put in the snap and go, I just come and go so easily...I LOVE it.

4) I love tucking her in every night. DH sometimes tucks her in, but I love to take my time and read her 2, 3 or 4 books. I start the bedtime routine an hour before she goes to bed and we laugh, play, sing funny songs, read books, etc. It is just so great not to rush and take every smile, every laugh, every hug in without having to do a million other things. It is nice to go in slow motion and enjoy her as the person that God made her to be. KWIM?

ETA: #5) OH how can I forget...
SLEEP...Precious, glorious, wonderful S L E E P!!!! I HEART sleeping in. I sleep 10 hours on a weekend and nine on a weekday. She sleeps 12 hours a night, without interruption. Gone are all of my days as a zombie. That is definitely one of the big perks about one child. Once they sleep through the night...you do too!!!!!

Message edited 7/22/2008 11:13:38 PM.

Re: Parents of one child...

I love that I can give Ale my undivided attention. I would love to have a 2nd, but at my age...and I feel I wouldn't be able to keep up with them both. She wears me out as it is!!

I truly am just so incredibly grateful and feel so blessed. I have many friends that I wish had what I have, so I think I appreciate her more than anyone can imagine.

Re: Parents of one child...

Re: Parents of one child...

I love having DS, period, and there was a time we weren't so sure we would have any children of our own. So one is great!

I agree, sometimes I wish we could have a second child of our own, but I have to remind myself I am lucky to have this one wonderful baby.

Re: Parents of one child...

Thank you so much for posting this. We were blessed with DS through our first IVF cycle. We are trying for #2 but, I don't know if that will ever happen so I need to remind myself why I am so lucky.

I love, when DS wakes up early on the weekends, that I can take him into bed with me and snuggle with him for hours. Now that he's 2 1/2, I don't have to worry about rolling on him or him falling out of bed.

I also love interacting with him. He's at the age when we can actually play with each other.

I love that I can spoil him and not have to worry about buying for 2. I remember growing up, whenever I got something, my sister had to get something too. Now, with just 1, he gets 2x as much!!!

I love being able to go for walks with him and the dogs. If I had 2, I wouldn't be able to do that. Too much to handle.

Re: Parents of one child...

Such a beautiful sentiment in this thread. There is a huge chance that we too will never be able to have a second child and if that happens I know we are blessed beyond words with the beautiful gift that was given to us in our precious daughter

Re: Parents of one child...

I also want to add for anyone thinking of adoption that I have a friend who has one biological child and two adopted. She said you love them all the same, the bonding may be a little slower with the adopted, but you do bond. Plus she noted that she did not miss the newborn months and extreme sleep deprivation.

Re: Parents of one child...

We will be trying for #2 but as an only child I thought I would say how WONDERFUL it was to be one. I loved all the attention from my parents. I was always #1. I loved every second of being an only child. I never would have changed the experience. And now being an adult and having a child my parents have moved in with us to help us with Cadi. I think your children are blest to be only children!!!

Re: Parents of one child...

Well...I kinda fit into this thread. I have a 12 year old step-daughter and I have DD who is almost 2. We will not be having any more children. Although the 12 year old lives with us...she didn't come into my life until she was 6, so I never knew the early years...now I am just tormented with the pre-teen years

The relationship with a 12 year old is completely different than with a 2 year old. There are certain things I like to do with the 2 year old, and other things that she is too little for, and I do with the 12 year old. I do sometime feel like they are each an "only child" because they are in complete different stages of their lives and will always be!

However...it is really nice to have a built in babysitter so I can do things around the house, make dinner, LIFT time, etc

Message edited 7/23/2008 10:25:43 AM.

Re: Parents of one child...

As of now we only have one child. Emily is going on 3. I always wanted another one by now, or at least to have one on the way, but right now it's not in the cards for us. DH is on medication that he needs for severe nerve pain that he takes every day, and we can't TTC while he is on it. We have other reasons for not TTC right now also, and some times I wonder if Emily will be an only child.

I do love having just her right now. I can give her ALL of my attention. I feel like she is my best friend in so many ways, because we share so many moments where it is just her and I. We bond so much.

I do want her to have a sibling one day, but right now I love the special time that we have together.

Re: Parents of one child...

We will hopefully be having more children - but - speaking as an only child I have to say I loved every minute of it.

I got all of my parents attention - all the time. Still do. As an adult - I don't have to worry that my parents have to babysit for my siblings children (since there are none lol) and they will babysit for me at a drop of a hat.

We get to go on amazing trips with them and they are constantly sending us away. Things they probably wouldn't be able to do if there were other children in the picture.

I always had a great relationship with both of my parents. I did always grow up with a ton of family around so I was never starving for interaction with other children and I do have cousins that I am very close to that I consider to be llike siblings.

Re: Parents of one child...

Great thread!!

I have only one child of my own, Thomas, 15 months. I have two step-sons, 8 and 11, who I have known since 3 and 6. I always wanted two children of my own, but now that I have Thomas, I feel totally complete. He made me a Mommy, and the five of us a family. So, he’s not technically an only child, and he’s not DH’s only child, but he’s my only child! I love that I can focus all my attention on him. I am forever grateful that I was blessed with a healthy, happy baby boy. DH doesn’t want to have any more because he has three and four would put him over the edge! I don’t blame him, but if I still wanted two, I would worry that if I insisted, great stress would be put on our marriage and family and we would suffer for it. I would also be afraid that if I “pushed my luck”, I wouldn’t be blessed with another healthy, happy child. I know this isn’t a healthy way to think, but I am an extreme worrier. Having one child helps that because I can focus all my attention – joy, happiness, worry, fear, etc. on him. He has brought me so much joy and I am so blessed to have an amazing son, loving step-sons, a wonderful husband, a supportive and loving family, a great job, a beautiful house, my health… what more could I want?

I am blessed.

Re: Parents of one child...

Bumping for the night crew...


What heartfelt responses, I was over a few.

Re: Parents of one child...

I only have one child - life's circumstances delayed motherhood for me & having my DD at 40 has been a blessing!

I am greatful for the chance to have a child and don't look back for what could have been, etc.

I know that she will always have all my love and attention and she will know without a doubt that she is my favorite daughter!

Re: Parents of one child...

I LOVE this thread!!! I don't know if the future has a sibling in store for my DD. I know I had an awful post-partum period and am dreading going through it again. It is possible that we will ... but it's also possible that we won't.

That said ... other things to be greatful for besides what you said ...

ONE set of rules ... no need to create a set of rules for first and then give more or less leeway to another and create tension.

Speaking of that ... LESS likelihood for sibling/family rivalry. I know many people have great sibling relationships but mine are complicated and I'm not sure if they help me or hinder me in terms of getting through life.

ONE body to feed. I know it sounds awful but I frequently have my neices/nephews over (they are 3 siblings) and while I love them and enjoy having them over ... they eat like pigs! I can't imagine cooking/preparing for more than one of those growing adolescents.

I cherish and am absolutely in love with my DD. I'm happy and fulfilled. I'm scared of upsetting the balance ... and if life dictated that I couldn't have another, I think I'd feel complete.

Message edited 7/23/2008 9:47:01 PM.