Parents of Toddlers....

You might've read my other post about another parent scolding my son after I had already done so at a play date. She and I have had a chat since and she said she's never seen another kid hit her 2 year old. Which of course got me thinking...

Can anyone say their kid has never hit or been hit by another? I'm really curious....!

Also, we seem to average about one act of "aggression" per play date - whether it's my son or the other child(ren) - which I've always just considered completely normal. Do you think that's too much? I thought we were doing okay!

I actually asked two other friends yesterday if, before a play date, they think "uh oh, T's a hitter, we'll have to watch out for him today." One of the friends said No, never. The other said "Yes, but I think that about all of them!"

Thanks everyone!

Re: Parents of Toddlers....

my ds hit toddler hood early, particularly the tantrum aspects, he was hitting biting and kicking at 8m
I did some gentle discipline on his (RIE) and he never hit again

I think every boy I've ever known has hit at some point as a toddler. Usually the only way they know how to express what they are feeling and they don't know how else to do it. Some reason I see girls doing it less, almost like they have other ways to express frustration, they also generally start speaking sooner, so they can say what is bothering them.

Re: Parents of Toddlers....

I stress out all the time bc JJ is a very headstrong boy & has the tendency to hit especiially if he is not getting his way. We avoid any type if activities with others especially around the time he would be more on edge to hit.

Re: Parents of Toddlers....

Luca (3) is not and never has been a hitter, unless it comes to his little sister, and only when she takes his toys He just doesn't hit other kids, not in front of me anyway, but of course he has had his share of tantrums and he has been hit by other toddlers.

Izzie (18 months), on the other hand, has been hitting for a while now. She hits for any reason at all, even if it's because I looked at her the wrong way. We use times outs like crazy and it does help (temporarily) but we also work on "doing nice" etc.

I think it's insane to think that just because your kid has never been hit before that it will never happen I mean they are KIDS!

Re: Parents of Toddlers....

My girls (almost 4 and 5 years old) have never hit or bit another kid at playdates. But I think its because they take all their aggression out on each other at home

I babysit and my girls have been bit and hit by those kids but they never react and do it back to them.

Re: Parents of Toddlers....

DS has never hit. He's not aggressive, but he will try to take toys away from other kids.

He hasn't been hit either, but he was pushed down the slide. He is much larger than most kids his age (he's 39"), so I think it helps.

Re: Parents of Toddlers....

My children hit one another once in a while out of frustration but they have never raised their hands to other children. That being said, I think many toddlers go through a hitting phase so I wouldn't be surprised if they got hit or would hit another child in the future.

Re: Parents of Toddlers....

My DD 16 months is a bully. This week alone she pulled someones hair and scratched another kid. I think most kids act out every once I awhile. When I hear a child hit DD I kind of just shrug it off, as long as she isn't hurt badly its just a fact of life its going to happen. We have started implementing time outs, for what its worth, I think if you discipline young, and age appropriate, they will eventually understand right from wrong.

ETA: 95% of the time she is a sweet heart, but she is very head strong, not aggressive, she wants what she wants when she wants it!

Message edited 9/17/2011 1:49:18 PM.

Re: Parents of Toddlers....

DD is not a hitter but she has hit before. She goes to day care 1 day a week and its a long day for her. I've noticed that when she does do it it's the day following day care. I think it's just from being tired the following day but maybe there's a LO that she sees hitting. She generally gets a 2-3 hr nap at home and I know shes not at day care.

Re: Parents of Toddlers....

Jack is not a hitter, he will hit though if someone gets in his face.

Tyler - if someone tries to grab the toy he has he will jerk it away.

I think it's normal at this age for kids to hit.

Re: Parents of Toddlers....

My boys only hit each other. I have never seen them hit another child.

Re: Parents of Toddlers....

My DS has never been a hitter and is not aggressive. We play regularly with a little boy that is most definitely a hitter and has aggression/anger issues (smacks his own mother in the face) and i always have anxiety about whether hes going to hurt DS. When i see him pushing or getting to that point of being angry i politely say "ok its time to go!".

Re: Parents of Toddlers....

My DS is the first one to give out hugs and also the first to hit or bite if someone is taking something he wants. I've also seen others hit DS. It's a natural part of development. You just have to hope no one gets hurt and let the aggressor know it's "not nice" (as DS always says )

Re: Parents of Toddlers....

my children have never hit another child.

they do hit each other when they're playing but they go in time out if they do.

Re: Parents of Toddlers....

My son is almost 2 and has never hit anyone. He has been hit on playdates, although I would not say that it is the "norm" or occurs at every playdate.

Re: Parents of Toddlers....

DD#1 definitely went through a hitting phase. And she's been hit by other kids. It stinks, but its normal.