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Kate
*****
Member since 5/05 7557 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: Parents Who Hid Child’s Gender for Five Years Now Face Backlash
If they really wanted to teach the kid gender neutrality/equality, they should have told him he was a boy, but encouraged him to play with Legos AND dolls. (For example).
Pretending that he doesn't have a gender at all is just dumb. It's an undeniable fact of life. If you want to fight stereotypes, do it. Show the world that you have a boy and don't care if he likes dolls. But don't confuse the poor kid and make him a ridiculous science experiment.
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Posted 1/24/12 8:50 PM  |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Parents Who Hid Child’s Gender for Five Years Now Face Backlash
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| Posted 1/24/12 9:00 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Parents Who Hid Child’s Gender for Five Years Now Face Backlash
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| Posted 1/24/12 9:00 PM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Parents Who Hid Child’s Gender for Five Years Now Face Backlash
Posted by smdl
I think nothing wrong with teaching a boy to be kind, that's it's OK to cry, etc..
But NO I don't need my kid to wear a skirt to make a statement.
He was born a boy... HE IS A BOY! What is there to fight about?
I hate people using their kids as statement and experiment for their new found englightment of what they think it should be.
They are just effing up their kids.
Kids need to learn that a boy is a boy and a girl is a girl. They don't learn from nature. That's part of being a parent and teaching your kids. Kids need to have to "talk" and be explained about the World. They can't just guess what is right and what is wrong. They are taught. Plain and Simple! Just like you learn to eat with a fork or that you don't push other kids.
At some point, a boy will have to learn he has a penis, and that girls don't have one. It's that simple!
Why make it so complicated and confusing for that kid just to make a point?
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| Posted 1/24/12 9:07 PM |
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cds58019
The loves of my life :)
Member since 6/08 4276 total posts
Name:
Candice
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Re: Parents Who Hid Child’s Gender for Five Years Now Face Backlash
First off, the gay comment was uncalled for and impossible to predict no matter what your upbringing is.
Second, you mean to tell me that when he went out in public or if guests came over, they couldn't tell he was a boy at his age now? I know as babies many could go either way but after awhile they begin to look like one gender or the other. Even at 16 months if you put my son in a pink dress he would still look like a boy. How could people not tell what a 5 year old is?
I understand not wanting to have your child be strongly influenced one way or the other but this experiment is ridiculous and was taken way too far by the parents.
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| Posted 1/24/12 9:24 PM |
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cjik
Welcome 2010!
Member since 2/06 8879 total posts
Name:
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Re: Parents Who Hid Child’s Gender for Five Years Now Face Backlash
These people are kooks. Their poor son, this is only going to get harder as he gets older.
When my son was little (only child) we didn't watch much TV either and he had gender neutral baby toys. Around 9 months, we went out somewhere and he was fascinated with a truck. Then the garbage truck was a big deal for him, so we bought him trucks. If he wanted a doll he would have had one, but he showed no interest. Now at 4, he seems proud of being a boy, he loves to be with boys and his Dad, it's just who he is. I think most kids gravitate to certain toys and society doesn't influence them much until they are older.
I also don't get encouraging him to wear girls clothes and play with girls toys, but in another article, it was stated that they banned trucks. Doesn't sound so gender neutral to me.
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| Posted 1/24/12 9:39 PM |
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Dulcinea
Weekend Warrior
Member since 3/08 2530 total posts
Name:
Dulcinea
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Re: Parents Who Hid Child’s Gender for Five Years Now Face Backlash
I found some photos of the boy... I hate to judge but this woman is a whack job if she purposely dresses the boy this way. She thinks she's doing him a favor, but more than anything she's ostracizing herself and him.
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| Posted 1/24/12 10:46 PM |
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BeachGrl
LIF Adult
Member since 10/11 2140 total posts
Name:
Kristy
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Re: Parents Who Hid Child’s Gender for Five Years Now Face Backlash
OMG that's just plain disgusting and sick! I feel very bad for that boy. This child does have a gender whether she likes it or not and dressing him like that is not going to make him "genderless"! What a whack job
If she's so into being genderless or whatever she calls it, then why doesn't she do this to herself instead of him. Smh
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| Posted 1/24/12 11:01 PM |
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tink23
Step by step....
Member since 6/11 1061 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Parents Who Hid Child’s Gender for Five Years Now Face Backlash
This poor kid's parents are totally selfish to use their son to make a "statement".
The only statement they're making is "WE'RE A$$HOLES"
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| Posted 1/24/12 11:07 PM |
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Re: Parents Who Hid Child’s Gender for Five Years Now Face Backlash
Posted by GoldenRod
I'm hoping he completely rebels against his parents' experiment, and he's as butch, masculine, and stereotypically male as anyone on this planet.... IMAGE
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| Posted 1/24/12 11:43 PM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: Parents Who Hid Child’s Gender for Five Years Now Face Backlash
Since when are tutu's and wings gender nuetral? I think a more accurate statement would be that they encouraged him to play with girl toys and banned anything associated with the male gender. IMO, that is very different.
If the kid only had blocks, puzzles, play food, crayons etc.. that would be gender nuetral.
Fairy dress up clothes are not gender nuetral. They are clearly trying to push female associated items on him to try and see if it makes him softer with more female traits. I don't think they are trying to make him gay but, I don't agree with what they are trying to do either.
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| Posted 1/25/12 7:06 AM |
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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Parents Who Hid Child’s Gender for Five Years Now Face Backlash
Posted by sfp0701
Since when are tutu's and wings gender nuetral? I think a more accurate statement would be that they encouraged him to play with girl toys and banned anything associated with the male gender. IMO, that is very different.
If the kid only had blocks, puzzles, play food, crayons etc.. that would be gender nuetral.
Fairy dress up clothes are not gender nuetral. They are clearly trying to push female associated items on him to try and see if it makes him softer with more female traits. I don't think they are trying to make him gay but, I don't agree with what they are trying to do either.
ITA. There's nothing gender neutral about the fairy wings and tutus. If anything, they seem to be strongly favoring feminine toys and clothing.
Poor kid 
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| Posted 1/25/12 8:25 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Parents Who Hid Child’s Gender for Five Years Now Face Backlash
I have never wanted to call someone an idiot so badly in my entire life.
But I'll refrain.
These parents, however, are morons. And they are not shunning stereotypes, they are using their son as a tool to get their "point" across.
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| Posted 1/25/12 8:44 AM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Parents Who Hid Child’s Gender for Five Years Now Face Backlash
I agree if they really wanted to do a gender neutral they would have used neutral toys.
Wings and tutu are GIRLS stuff.
So all they really did is dress him as a boy and dress him as girl to confuse everyone.
But gender neutral? NO they did not do that.
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| Posted 1/25/12 9:02 AM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
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Re: Parents Who Hid Child’s Gender for Five Years Now Face Backlash
Posted by headoverheels
I have never wanted to call someone an idiot so badly in my entire life.
But I'll refrain.
These parents, however, are morons. And they are not shunning stereotypes, they are using their son as a tool to get their "point" across.
ITA.
They are using their own child as a social experiment.
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| Posted 1/25/12 9:13 AM |
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ModDot
PUMPKIN ALL THE THINGS
Member since 8/11 2196 total posts
Name:
Trissy
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Re: Parents Who Hid Child’s Gender for Five Years Now Face Backlash
Posted by dita
That poor kid. I see nothing wrong with letting children experiment with toys/clothes etc but to keep their gender a secret? What kind of message does that send to the child?
I agree, if the child WANTS to wear dresses and stuff then, ok fine. But they kind of seem to push it which is NOT ok. If they were truly going "gender neutral" they wouldn't pick a "team". The clothes wouldn't be overtly feminine or masculine, the toys, games and whatever else encompass being a child would be very  and not a mix of  
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| Posted 1/25/12 9:16 AM |
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Waste06
Waste not, want not
Member since 6/06 7219 total posts
Name:
Lois Mom Mommy Mama Ma
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Re: Parents Who Hid Child’s Gender for Five Years Now Face Backlash
The use of the word "stupid" multiple times by the mother completely devalued her argument. It was a complete turn off.
I do not think she has good intentions. I think she's treating her child like an experiment, and I find it disgusting.
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| Posted 1/25/12 9:50 AM |
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DandN
Twins are here!
Member since 3/06 3597 total posts
Name:
Deirdre
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Re: Parents Who Hid Child’s Gender for Five Years Now Face Backlash
Posted by dita
That poor kid. I see nothing wrong with letting children experiment with toys/clothes etc but to keep their gender a secret? What kind of message does that send to the child?
I agree. I think that is more harmful than any experimenting with clothing and toys. To make a child's sex a secret is to suggest that it is something you can't be proud of - it's somehow shameful.
My 4 year old daughter was given lots of neutral colors to wear when she was an infant - we didnt know the sex when I was pregnant and I happen to love the colors orange, yellow and green anyway. Well - practically from the moment she could point, she wanted everything PINK. She LOVES everything about being a girly girl - she loves dresses, tutus, princess things, etc. To think that I would want to keep her sex a secret - a sex that she clearly wants to express and celebrate - is something I'm not ok with.
Message edited 1/25/2012 1:36:06 PM.
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| Posted 1/25/12 12:20 PM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: Parents Who Hid Child’s Gender for Five Years Now Face Backlash
Those parents are IDIOTS!
Stereotypes are not stupid. You shouldn't rely on them as your sole source of information about whatever subject you're faced with, but they exist because there is always a thread of truth in a stereotype... that's how they come to exist in the first place.
They clearly pushed stereotypically FEMALE toys on their son, but they're to busy being proud of their 'forward thinking' to notice their own hypocricy. 
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| Posted 1/25/12 12:45 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Parents Who Hid Child’s Gender for Five Years Now Face Backlash
And these people are allowed to reproduce.
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| Posted 1/25/12 1:51 PM |
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
Name:
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Re: Parents Who Hid Child’s Gender for Five Years Now Face Backlash
I feel bad for this kid. The parents are referring to everything else as "stupid" meanwhile they are the stupid ones for doing this to their kid. He is definitely going to be very confused.
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| Posted 1/25/12 1:51 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Parents Who Hid Child’s Gender for Five Years Now Face Backlash
This really doesn't bother me. We don't know what the long-term impacts are of this. I would hope it's just that the child grows up to be more open minded and more authentic since he went 5 years without people forming him based on their perception of gender. it isn't just clothing and toys, people treat boys and girls differently, at home, at work, at play. I was constantly told growing up that the things I liked from clothes to toys, to activities, were not things girls were supposed to like. THAT in my opinion was crappy parenting. I wasn't able to be myself.
DH and I have decided that we're going to let our children choose, and we're going to encourage both our boys and our girls to do both karate and dance, for example.
I would not go the entire "gender neutral" route. I think it takes a lot of effort, and I'm not sure what it would really accomplish, but I will try to shield my kids from other people who try to define them by their gender.
And no, I don't think that sending my son to ballet or letting him wear a pink shirt if that's what he wants will make him gay.
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| Posted 1/25/12 3:48 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Parents Who Hid Child’s Gender for Five Years Now Face Backlash
Posted by JenniferEver
This really doesn't bother me. We don't know what the long-term impacts are of this. I would hope it's just that the child grows up to be more open minded and more authentic since he went 5 years without people forming him based on their perception of gender. it isn't just clothing and toys, people treat boys and girls differently, at home, at work, at play. I was constantly told growing up that the things I liked from clothes to toys, to activities, were not things girls were supposed to like. THAT in my opinion was crappy parenting. I wasn't able to be myself.
DH and I have decided that we're going to let our children choose, and we're going to encourage both our boys and our girls to do both karate and dance, for example.
I would not go the entire "gender neutral" route. I think it takes a lot of effort, and I'm not sure what it would really accomplish, but I will try to shield my kids from other people who try to define them by their gender.
And no, I don't think that sending my son to ballet or letting him wear a pink shirt if that's what he wants will make him gay.
But..like you said...you don't know the impacts..its great to say he'll be completely unscathed...but what if it really did have a terrible adverse effect on who he is and the person he becomes?
A LOT of things in life define us. And i have zero problem with parents letting their kids be kids. But to withhold gender?? Awful. We are born either boy or girl. We should have that knowledge from an early age that we are one or another. What a child chooses to do with that information is another story altogether.
I just don't think parents should ever have that kind of dominance over a child. It's cruel. ESPECIALLY since the siblings were never subjected to it. Not that it makes it any better, but why him??
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| Posted 1/25/12 5:06 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Parents Who Hid Child’s Gender for Five Years Now Face Backlash
But did they withhold it from Sasha for from the world?
I can see him knowing he's a boy, but that the family is trying to shelter him from outside influences of what a boy is.
I just think the backlash is not called for because we really don't know if there is a negative effect. I think a lot of people are more responding emotionally that they think it's weird more than anything.
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| Posted 1/25/12 5:10 PM |
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KennysMommy
Never knew LOVE like it before
Member since 3/10 2640 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Parents Who Hid Child’s Gender for Five Years Now Face Backlash
Posted by JennZ
Posted by MrsS1976
that kids gonna grow up to be gay. thats my story and i am sticking to it...
Wow, ignorance at its finest. 
OMG ITA!!!!!! Stupid comment... really... it was!
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| Posted 1/25/12 7:57 PM |
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