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KrisT
Two Boys for Me!!
Member since 1/07 5213 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Paying at a Birthday Party
DH and I were recently invited to a "Surprise 30th Birthday Party" at a bar, however, the invitation says "There will be a $35 drink special from 8:30 – 11:30."
How does everyone feel about a "party" that you have to pay for? Any thoughts?
I am a firm believer that if you are throwing a party, you should never expect your guests to pay for drinks and food. However, this is the second 30th party we have been invited to that had a "drink special."
I am the only one who feels this way? Is this a new thing?
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Posted 3/6/07 12:49 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Interesting. I personally would never ask my guests to pay for anything at a party, but I have been to a few that offered a cash bar. I never think anything of it though.
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| Posted 3/6/07 12:50 PM |
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Kate
*****
Member since 5/05 7557 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
If that were the case, I would not consider it a 'party'. It's a get together at a bar. I would not bring a gift.
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| Posted 3/6/07 12:52 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Posted by Kate
If that were the case, I would not consider it a 'party'. It's a get together at a bar. I would not bring a gift.
ITA.
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| Posted 3/6/07 12:54 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
i have issues with paying my own way at at party.
i agree, i would call it a gtg and not bring a gift.
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| Posted 3/6/07 12:55 PM |
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Diva
I am what I am
Member since 12/05 2825 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Posted by Kate
If that were the case, I would not consider it a 'party'. It's a get together at a bar. I would not bring a gift.
I completely agree with this, although I dont understand why they would send invitations out. Had I received an invitation, I would have expected them to pay. Had it been a word of mouth gtg, then I would expect to pay for my own drinks. I hope that makes sense.
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| Posted 3/6/07 12:55 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Hmmm. I think as a host, I would never invite people to that sort of deal. I'm not throwing the party unless I can pay for it.
However, I am not opposed to attending something like that. If the person is a good friend and I want to go out and celebrate with them, I'll pay. If it is someone I don't care that much about, I'd probably blow it off.
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| Posted 3/6/07 12:56 PM |
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LIMOMx2
...
Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
We have been invited to 3 parties exactly like that for 30th b-days. I hate them and will not go.
I think it is rude
Message edited 3/6/2007 12:56:50 PM.
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| Posted 3/6/07 12:56 PM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Sorry I misunderstood.... I thought the host was covering dinner & the drinks were additional if you want them. OK if the whole thing is only the "drink specials" then no, I am not a fan of that & sending out a formal invite is not appropriate IMO.
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| Posted 3/6/07 12:57 PM |
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KrisT
Two Boys for Me!!
Member since 1/07 5213 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Posted by Diva
Posted by Kate
If that were the case, I would not consider it a 'party'. It's a get together at a bar. I would not bring a gift.
I completely agree with this, although I dont understand why they would send invitations out. Had I received an invitation, I would have expected them to pay. Had it been a word of mouth gtg, then I would expect to pay for my own drinks. I hope that makes sense.
This is exactly how I feel! I have no issues with meeting at a bar to celebrate someone's birthday. It's just that I don't think this is a "party." It is DH's very good friend, so we are definitely going.
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| Posted 3/6/07 12:58 PM |
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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Posted by 5ofClubs
We have been invited to 3 parties exactly like that for 30th b-days. I hate them and will not go.
I think it is rude
Again...I am totally distracted from the question because of your BEAUTIFUL baby in your Avatar. I am 
ok...back to the question. Sounds more like an anouncement than an invite to a party. Is there an RSVP?
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| Posted 3/6/07 1:01 PM |
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lullabella
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 2246 total posts
Name:
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
I guess I need more information. Is this person married? Was it a mailed invitation or an e-mail/evite?
Personally I think it is tacky if the person is married and sent out a mailed invitation. If it was an e-mail type of thing, less formal someone was throwing for a sibling/boyfriend/girlfriend/firend I think it is more acceptable.
Either way if I liked the person I would go and I wouldn't really care.
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| Posted 3/6/07 1:02 PM |
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KrisT
Two Boys for Me!!
Member since 1/07 5213 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Posted by MrsF519
Posted by 5ofClubs
We have been invited to 3 parties exactly like that for 30th b-days. I hate them and will not go.
I think it is rude
Again...I am totally distracted from the question because of your BEAUTIFUL baby in your Avatar. I am
ok...back to the question. Sounds more like an anouncement than an invite to a party. Is there an RSVP?
There is an RSVP! And the other party like this that we were invited to a few months ago (had a formal invitation - actually an evite - but it did not say we were paying for drinksl - we found out when we got there ) - the host HUNTED us down for our RSVP!
Message edited 3/6/2007 1:04:27 PM.
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| Posted 3/6/07 1:03 PM |
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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Posted by KrisT
Posted by MrsF519
Posted by 5ofClubs
We have been invited to 3 parties exactly like that for 30th b-days. I hate them and will not go.
I think it is rude
Again...I am totally distracted from the question because of your BEAUTIFUL baby in your Avatar. I am
ok...back to the question. Sounds more like an anouncement than an invite to a party. Is there an RSVP?
There is an RSVP! And the other party like this that we were invited to a few months ago (had a formal invitation - actually an evite - but it did not say we were paying for drinksl - we found out when we got there ) - the host HUNTED us down for our RSVP!
I would be SOOOOO PO'd if I only found out when I got there that i had to pay!!!! 
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| Posted 3/6/07 1:08 PM |
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Kate07
Feel better my little guy!
Member since 5/05 4476 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Any wedding I've been to outside of NY, I've had to pay for drinks.
One wedding we even had to pay for soda.
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| Posted 3/6/07 1:10 PM |
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LuvMyDH
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/05 882 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
I don't go when I see that. It's either a party or a get together.
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| Posted 3/6/07 1:13 PM |
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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Posted by Kate07
Any wedding I've been to outside of NY, I've had to pay for drinks.
One wedding we even had to pay for soda.
Really? Oh crap..I have a wedding in May in PA. Haven't gotten the invite yet. We shall see. 
But a birthday party at a bar is sooo different! Are they renting a room or will it be open to the public? If they are not renting a room I would take that invite to be informal and I would not bring a gift if I am expected to pay my own way
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| Posted 3/6/07 1:14 PM |
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Blazesyth
*yawn*
Member since 5/05 8129 total posts
Name:
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
I think it depends on the environment where the party is being held.
My friend is having a 21st birthday 'party' at a bar this Saturday, where it's open bar, food, etc. (It's actually at Captain's/Raven's favorite place, Dugans!)
Everyone is paying their own way, and I dont have any problem with it. If it was a sit down, formal dinner with gift I would feel kind of odd paying for myself. But considering if we went from bar to bar and got dinner, it would be MUCH more than 40 dollars a person.
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| Posted 3/6/07 1:15 PM |
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Chrisnamy
Summer is coming soon
Member since 1/07 3991 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
That is strange! I think if your invited....your a guest...and guests don't pay!
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| Posted 3/6/07 1:17 PM |
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Blazesyth
*yawn*
Member since 5/05 8129 total posts
Name:
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Posted by Chrisnamy
That is strange! I think if your invited....your a guest...and guests don't pay!
I don't think its odd, I think of it this way.
If it's my birthday and I ask my coworkers to come out for a drink at the local bar, I don't pay for my coworkers drink.
If anything, my coworker would pay for their own drink, AND mine, since it's my birthday.
I think it's all dependent on the environment it is happening in and the way it was distributed to people. An email to friends, everyone pays for themselves... a formal invite to thru mail, the host pays.
Just my opinion!
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| Posted 3/6/07 1:20 PM |
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KrisT
Two Boys for Me!!
Member since 1/07 5213 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Posted by MrsF519
One wedding we even had to pay for soda.
Really? Oh crap..I have a wedding in May in PA. Haven't gotten the invite yet. We shall see.
But a birthday party at a bar is sooo different! Are they renting a room or will it be open to the public? If they are not renting a room I would take that invite to be informal and I would not bring a gift if I am expected to pay my own way
I am not sure if it is a separate room, but it is definitely in at least a private area of the bar with tables, etc. I think there may be some appetizers included in my $35, but not sure! This party is also being thrown by his wife.
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| Posted 3/6/07 1:21 PM |
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MrsStein
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/05 692 total posts
Name:
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Posted by Christine
Posted by Kate
If that were the case, I would not consider it a 'party'. It's a get together at a bar. I would not bring a gift.
ITA.
I agree as well. I refused to do this for DH's surprise 30th and paid for it all myself. We have been to many 30th bday "get togethers" lately, with a drink special. I don't think you should invite people to a party and expect them to pay for their drinks.
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| Posted 3/6/07 1:21 PM |
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kathleeng
Member since 5/05 3775 total posts
Name:
Kathleen
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
I have been at parties where I had to pay at cash bar. I personally find it tacky.
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| Posted 3/6/07 1:22 PM |
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cazhley
I ♥ cheesiness.
Member since 1/07 1429 total posts
Name:
Cassie
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
this seems to be a trend... in manhattan, especially, i've noticed.
i've been invited to a bunch of b-day celebrations also through evite. tons of people meet at a bar or lounge. everyone pays for his or her own drinks. people buy rounds for groups.
i do understand that if it says "party" it's a little disconcerting.
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| Posted 3/6/07 1:24 PM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
whenever my friends and I get together for another friend's birthday party we always pay for ourselves/split the bill.
I agree with the other posters that it depends on how formal the invite was. For me evites are just a fun easy way to send a group email for a gtg and not real "invitations". especially for friends. And, it's understood that they are not
"hosted" parties, but just gtg's.
But if the host was a husband/wife and there was an official paper invite with RSVP, then I would think it was weird to ask the guests to pay.
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| Posted 3/6/07 1:25 PM |
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