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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Posted by cub
this seems to be a trend... in manhattan, especially, i've noticed.
i've been invited to a bunch of b-day celebrations also through evite. tons of people meet at a bar or lounge. everyone pays for his or her own drinks. people buy rounds for groups.
i do understand that if it says "party" it's a little disconcerting.
Exactly! I've gone out for sooo many birthdays that I was notified by an e-vite
Its like an open invitation...if ya come, ya come, if ya don't, no problem!
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Posted 3/6/07 1:26 PM  |
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MrsPorkChop
Twinning!!
Member since 5/05 9941 total posts
Name:
Missy
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Posted by MrsF519
Posted by cub
this seems to be a trend... in manhattan, especially, i've noticed.
i've been invited to a bunch of b-day celebrations also through evite. tons of people meet at a bar or lounge. everyone pays for his or her own drinks. people buy rounds for groups.
i do understand that if it says "party" it's a little disconcerting.
Exactly! I've gone out for sooo many birthdays that I was notified by an e-vite
Its like an open invitation...if ya come, ya come, if ya don't, no problem!
exactly
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| Posted 3/6/07 1:27 PM |
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robynfs
12/6/10!!
Member since 9/05 4947 total posts
Name:
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Posted by MrsPorkChop
Posted by MrsF519
Posted by cub
this seems to be a trend... in manhattan, especially, i've noticed.
i've been invited to a bunch of b-day celebrations also through evite. tons of people meet at a bar or lounge. everyone pays for his or her own drinks. people buy rounds for groups.
i do understand that if it says "party" it's a little disconcerting.
Exactly! I've gone out for sooo many birthdays that I was notified by an e-vite
Its like an open invitation...if ya come, ya come, if ya don't, no problem!
exactly
Agreed...I have 1 Friday and 1 Saturday...both evites...my choice to show up or not...I get my own drinks! 
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| Posted 3/6/07 2:03 PM |
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Ive been to parties like that before, they are considered get togethers to celebrate I believe...and I dont bring a gift.
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| Posted 3/6/07 2:07 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
seems to be the new trend
I personally don't like it
I am planning a 30th birthday dinner for Jake- and I plan on picking up the bill for everyone- about 10 to 15 people at Ruth Chris- I am going to give the waiter my Amex card before everyone gets there
it's my present to him
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| Posted 3/6/07 2:12 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
I never understood this. We had a friend (HAD) who would throw himself a party every year for his b-day and it would be at a nice restaurant where we would have dinner and then drink afterwards at various places. Of course we wanted to celebrate his b-day but it always costs us $100s. Dinner for two with cocktails and drinks after. Of course it was by invite only. DH would then ask me if we should get him a gift..thin guy never even acknowledged DH's birthday let alone give him a gift..I thought it was selfish.
If you just want to go with some friends and enjoy a celebration at a bar that's fine but formally inviting people with invitations and then asking them to rsvp for headcount purposes, then telling them it costs them I think doesn't make sense.
Plenty of us go out after work and celebrate with co-workers for b-days and we just buy drinks or whatever and buy the birthday girl or boy a cocktail or two..but an invite saying that if you come you are going to be charged for the privilage? Nah..
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| Posted 3/6/07 2:12 PM |
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johnsae
Sip.
Member since 3/06 18677 total posts
Name:
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
I guess it would be weird if I received a paper invitation that included the $35 drink special info, but if it is an evite it is perfectly acceptable...it's so insanely expensive anymore (especially in nyc) to go drinking so I think it is almost expected that guests pay their way.
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| Posted 3/6/07 2:16 PM |
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johnsae
Sip.
Member since 3/06 18677 total posts
Name:
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Posted by Beth1210
seems to be the new trend
I personally don't like it
I am planning a 30th birthday dinner for Jake- and I plan on picking up the bill for everyone- about 10 to 15 people at Ruth Chris- I am going to give the waiter my Amex card before everyone gets there
it's my present to him
that is a very nice bday present, but i hope you know that you will be spending THOUSANDS for that many people especially if drinking is involved 
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| Posted 3/6/07 2:17 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Posted by Blazesyth
Posted by Chrisnamy
That is strange! I think if your invited....your a guest...and guests don't pay!
I don't think its odd, I think of it this way.
If it's my birthday and I ask my coworkers to come out for a drink at the local bar, I don't pay for my coworkers drink.
If anything, my coworker would pay for their own drink, AND mine, since it's my birthday.
I think it's all dependent on the environment it is happening in and the way it was distributed to people. An email to friends, everyone pays for themselves... a formal invite to thru mail, the host pays.
Just my opinion!
I agree with this. For DH's 30th his best friend and I called all of his friends and asked them to meet at a local bar. It was a surprise for DH...Everyone came, no one brought gifts, we all hung out and everyone bought their own beer. It was a good time, and more our style than a formal seated dinner. He wanted to spend his bday with friends.
ETA: I didn't send invites, and I don't know if we ever called it a party. No one brought presents.
Message edited 3/6/2007 2:30:53 PM.
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| Posted 3/6/07 2:18 PM |
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lorich
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Member since 6/05 9987 total posts
Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Posted by Kate
If that were the case, I would not consider it a 'party'. It's a get together at a bar. I would not bring a gift.
Great point! I agree!
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| Posted 3/6/07 2:19 PM |
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MsG
Should be working
Member since 5/05 2824 total posts
Name:
G
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Posted by Christine
Posted by Kate
If that were the case, I would not consider it a 'party'. It's a get together at a bar. I would not bring a gift.
ITA.
me too.
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| Posted 3/6/07 2:26 PM |
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randella
Love my little man
Member since 8/05 16290 total posts
Name:
Randi
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
I can say that almost EVERY birthday party that I have been to, post-college in the city, has been like this. With the exception of SOME 30th Birthday parties.
And, yes we always do an evite, particularly so you can get a headcount so you can tell the bar, etc. Many times they give you your own area- but you need to confirm how many people and the bar needs to know how much $$ they will be making off your party. As a guest, you don't need to spend the 35 bucks or whatever the amount is-- you can just pay for your drinks as you go. Personally, unless I was under 28-- I will not be drinking "all I can" so, I would never drink my money's worth anyway.
Personally, I believe a special birthday requires a bit more-- and you should at least pay to have some hor deurves or something at said bar. Having said that, if the person is single, it's going to just be a get together at a bar.
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| Posted 3/6/07 2:42 PM |
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KrisT
Two Boys for Me!!
Member since 1/07 5213 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
This particular party had an actual printed invitation mailed to my apartment (not an e-vite) and is being thrown by his wife (not a single person).
As for e-vites, I think they should be clear as to whether they are a "party" or a "get together."
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| Posted 3/6/07 2:49 PM |
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JennCo
My greatest joy is my baby boy
Member since 1/07 2772 total posts
Name:
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Posted by robynfs
Posted by MrsPorkChop
Posted by MrsF519
Posted by cub
this seems to be a trend... in manhattan, especially, i've noticed.
i've been invited to a bunch of b-day celebrations also through evite. tons of people meet at a bar or lounge. everyone pays for his or her own drinks. people buy rounds for groups.
i do understand that if it says "party" it's a little disconcerting.
Exactly! I've gone out for sooo many birthdays that I was notified by an e-vite
Its like an open invitation...if ya come, ya come, if ya don't, no problem!
exactly
Agreed...I have 1 Friday and 1 Saturday...both evites...my choice to show up or not...I get my own drinks!
I Agee.
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| Posted 3/6/07 2:49 PM |
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JennCo
My greatest joy is my baby boy
Member since 1/07 2772 total posts
Name:
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Posted by KrisT
This particular party had an actual printed invitation mailed to my apartment (not an e-vite) and is being thrown by his wife (not a single person).
As for e-vites, I think they should be clear as to whether they are a "party" or a "get together."
If that is the case, then I find it extremely tacky, jmo. Evite and get together are one thing, but a printed invitation for a 30th b--day is a different story.
ETa for spelling
Message edited 3/6/2007 2:51:28 PM.
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| Posted 3/6/07 2:50 PM |
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randella
Love my little man
Member since 8/05 16290 total posts
Name:
Randi
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Posted by KrisT
This particular party had an actual printed invitation mailed to my apartment (not an e-vite) and is being thrown by his wife (not a single person).
As for e-vites, I think they should be clear as to whether they are a "party" or a "get together."
sounds like the wife was trying to make it a little more special-- but, there should be SOMETHING she is doing to make it more than just a bar party.
It's not that sending out a paper invite is inappropriate-- it's just stupid. Makes no sense to me.
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| Posted 3/6/07 2:53 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
I threw DH a party for his 40th and it was through evite and it was hosted. I said that there will be a full open bar and a buffet. People called me up to see how much it was. I told them nothing..it's a party. Bring yourselves..
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| Posted 3/6/07 2:56 PM |
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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
I am going to throw DH a surprise 30th in August. I called up a bunch of the bars in RVC and they have packages for buffet and open bar for 4 hours which I will pick up the bill for. I thought that after those 4 hrs of open bar that I am paying for, that if people chose to stay and hang out and drink then they can pick up their own bar bill. Is that OK or should I not do that???? I know in most cases with parties I have been to if we continue to drink after the party ends and we tip the bartender good, they dont charge us for our drinks anyway.
But I see what your saying, I would never invite people to a party though and ask them to pitch in for the 4 hr buffet and open bar. If you invite someone to a party, you should be responsible for the bill. IMO. But I guess people are doing things a little differently these days.
Message edited 3/6/2007 3:19:42 PM.
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| Posted 3/6/07 3:18 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
Posted by jellybean1420
I am going to throw DH a surprise 30th in August. I called up a bunch of the bars in RVC and they have packages for buffet and open bar for 4 hours which I will pick up the bill for. I thought that after those 4 hrs of open bar that I am paying for, that if people chose to stay and hang out and drink then they can pick up their own bar bill. Is that OK or should I not do that???? I know in most cases with parties I have been to if we continue to drink after the party ends and we tip the bartender good, they dont charge us for our drinks anyway.
But I see what your saying, I would never invite people to a party though and ask them to pitch in for the 4 hr buffet and open bar. If you invite someone to a party, you should be responsible for the bill. IMO. But I guess people are doing things a little differently these days.
we did this. after the party was over there were about 6 of us who stayed after. Our friends actually picked up our tab.
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| Posted 3/6/07 3:24 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
I'm having a 25th birthdya soon and I am hinting to my FH and frineds that I would like everyone to meet up to go out to dinner. Usually when we do this it's word of mouth or evite and everyone pays for their own. I think paper invitations should be reserved for times when the "host" is paying for the "guests"
The only time I've sent an invite when I wasn't paying for the whole thing was for my sister's bach party...but that was basically understood.
I don't think you should send out invitations to something you don't intend to pay for
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| Posted 3/6/07 4:36 PM |
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BlueDiamonds
mommy to 3 boys
Member since 2/07 3885 total posts
Name:
proud mommy
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
I threw a 30th birthday party for my DH (just dating at the time). The cost for the private room, buffet and open bar was very expensive. So we could invite all this friends, I asked that people contribute a small amount per person (if they were able) and I picked up the rest of the tab. No one had an issue with it or at least said anything to me about it. And a few people even gave him gifts in addition. A few people didn't contribute at all and I was okay with that too. I didn't chase after people, collecting $.
I don't mind spending $ on my friends for their birthdays so it wouldn't bother me. I have gone out plenty of times for drinks and/or dinner and paid my own way to celebrate their brithday. And I usually pay for them. I think his friends saw this as a great way for everyone to get together, eat and drink for less than if they went out to a bar or restaurant.
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| Posted 3/6/07 4:58 PM |
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ggt08
;)
Member since 5/05 5208 total posts
Name:
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
see now when I threw my husband at the time a 30th bday party, I paid for it.. most of his friends did not bring gifts BECAUSE they thought they were chipping in for it!!!
so i guess this is the trend.. if its a close friend, i wouldnt really care i would just suck it up and pay and would bring a gift. but thats me...................
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| Posted 3/6/07 5:03 PM |
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chikita315
Love
Member since 8/06 7945 total posts
Name:
M-lo
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
If it's an open invite to come out and celebrate, that's one thing.
IMO, it's not a "party" if I have to pay.
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| Posted 3/6/07 5:06 PM |
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Booklady1017
Information Goddess
Member since 5/05 4149 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
ITA agree with you. I haven't heard of this.
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| Posted 3/6/07 10:59 PM |
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Re: Paying at a Birthday Party
It depends on how it's worded - if it makes it sound like its an invitation and you show up and you have to pay, no way! If it clearly states we're all getting together for "Joe" and it's $35, then I wouldn't have a problem with that.
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| Posted 3/6/07 11:04 PM |
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