Play Date with someone who has VERY different Parenting styles?

We are going to a museum today with DH's friend's wife and her 2 boys. We have gotten together with them in the past, but there has always been a big group of people...

She has a VERY different parenting style than I do. She is very strict, NO cookies, NO juice, NO meat for her kids.

My DS #1 is kind of difficult (he is 2) and I am just not a "strict" mom. It's not my thing. My kid has had cookies, watered down juice, and even... gasp... a few sips of soda when he's been sick.

I'm just afraid of what she is going to think of me . And when we have lunch and I am giving DS a cookie for dessert, what do I do? DS has to have a cookie with lunch there, they display them at the Subway stand...

How do you handle Mom's whose styles are so different from yours?

Re: Play Date with someone who has VERY different Parenting styles?

IMO, she doesn't sound strict, but maybe that's because that's how I plan on raising DD to eat.

Regardless of how you handle your child when it comes to eating or anything else, be confident that what you're doing is the best thing for your kid and your family. She may have a negative opinion of your giving your DS a cookie, or she may not give a hoot, because it's not her kid. But in the end you're the one who has to deal with the consequences of your parenting choices and she hers.

If she gasps when you give your son a cookie and says "are you going to let him eat that?" Reply "yes," and don't make any more plans with her if you feel like she's judging you negatively for something so insignificant.

Re: Play Date with someone who has VERY different Parenting styles?

Well I would think maybe she is just as concerned about what YOU might think of HER parenting style. And really, does it matter? You do what works for you and IMO do not need to explain yourself or justify your actions to ANYONE - except maybe your DH. Otherwise it's nobody else's business.

We went to the museum last week with DD's classmate. She can't eat dairy or wheat products - but can be around them. But, that isn't my DD's problem and so I brought for her what I normally would for lunch.

Re: Play Date with someone who has VERY different Parenting styles?

My cousins parent very differently than we do. They are super strict that their kids need to eat everything off their plates, then have to eat all their fruit before getting a tiny slice of cake.

I'm excited if Jack eats 5 bites of something - I would give him the entire cake if I could

It's different strokes for different folks. After they spent a week with us on vacation and saw how picky DS was (they couldn't believe it) they told me that you have to do what you have to do.

I was bribing DS with lollipops when their kids have maybe had 5 in their entire life

Re: Play Date with someone who has VERY different Parenting styles?

Re: Play Date with someone who has VERY different Parenting styles?

Everyone has different parenting styles. I wouldn't worry about it.

I grew up with strict parents. I always wished my parents were more laid back and more fun.

2yo kids are so unpredictable. No matter how strict she is, I'm sure her DC has an occasional meltdown or tantrum.

I also feel like kids eventually adapt to the eating habits of their parents.

Re: Play Date with someone who has VERY different Parenting styles?

What are you worried about? Her kid getting jealous?

Let her deal... she probably does & will have to do in the future.

Parenting styles are different. I hope that my kid will not be eating cookies: but I can't preach until I'm there. Having a baby had me drastically change my view of others... and I remember the joy I got out of a cookie from the bakery as a kid when food shopping with my parents.

Re: Play Date with someone who has VERY different Parenting styles?

I think you bring up a really great question. I would be less concerned with what she thinks of me, and more concerned that the day just won't be fun that our styles clash and we just don't mesh.

Go and try to have fun. Be who you are. Let her be who she is. And you will find out at the end if this is the first of many get togethers or the last of them.