Spinoff to different parenting styles

I noticed on the other thread about how parents do things differently, that most of you thought that putting the 5 month old on the potty was odd, and a few even went as far as to say that they would completely steer clear of that person, or have a major problem with someone who did this. I am curious as to why
I am not doing this, but I wouldn't fault someone who did, and I would like to start potty training by the latest yr 1, if possible. Why do people find this weird?
Also, why on earth would you not want to be friends with or "steer clear" of that parent? I see things done that I dont agree with, but unless it was morally wrong, neglectful, or something like that, I would chalk it up to different parenting styles.

*No drama please, I am genuinely curious about this. I was at 1 or 2 of the responses and just wanted to understand some different views.

Re: Spinoff to different parenting styles

Recently there was an article in the NYT about people who do the potty with babies. Basically, you watch for the sigsn and then put them on the potty when you see the cues.

My BFF's sister does this, her 1 year old goes on the potty.

ETA: It wasn't something we were interested in, but I would never not be friendly with someone b/c of it....

Message edited 4/20/2009 10:58:25 AM.

Re: Spinoff to different parenting styles

yea i agree i kinda think its wierd...i mean youre not parenting THEIR kid, so why would anyone care what i was doing with my child as long as i was being safe with him??

btw, my son was fully potty trained by 22 months old. And i wish we couldve introduced it sooner..he was ALWAYS interested in the toilet

Re: Spinoff to different parenting styles

I think attemtping to potty train a baby is "off", IMO. *My* reasoning for thinking the toilet training thing is "weird" is because personally I just don't feel it's developmentally appropriate for a 6 month to be forced to sit on a potty.

*I'm* of the mindset of child led potty training. When the child shows a readiness, THEN it's appropriate to start toilet training. The ability for a toddler to become aware of their body's cues to void is a HUGE milestone. And like any other milestone, the "average" age is widely varied.

I'm also not a fan of flash cards or DVDs to that supposedly "speed up" speech development or early classes or devices to "teach" motor skills.

This doesn't mean I steer clear of those who do all those things. I'm always open to other people's ideas and realize that what works for some might not work for me. If they are happy with their choices, then that's all that matters.

Re: Spinoff to different parenting styles

that is a tough one... i personally have a hard time with that because i almost feel like it's forcing your baby to grow up before they are ready. they will be out of diapers and in high school before we know it, i would rather spend time with my DS playing than trying to get him to sit on the potty. plus i love making fun of him when he has a dirty diaper

i honestly don't know if i would avoid associating with a mom who did this, but if i noticed that it was a trend with this mom (that she did other things that, in my opinion, were designed to force her child to grow up more quickly) i would probably distance myself from her.

Re: Spinoff to different parenting styles

I think a lot of times peoples indifferences and views are because of a lack of knowledge on the subject and/or misunderstanding.

I've heard a lot of wonderful things about elimination communication. Many people think you are trying to potty train at an early age when in fact there is no "training".

The goal is to learn the signs of when a baby needs to go to the bathroom and let them go on a potty or toilet.

It cuts down on time a baby is spent dirty in a diaper which I think is cool

For anyone interested here is a wonderful resource all about this "different" way of handling bathroom issues.

Even though it may not be for you its still interesting to learn about different ideas and methods.



Diaper Free Baby- Elimination Communication

Re: Spinoff to different parenting styles

Posted by Blissful

I think a lot of times peoples indifferences and views are because of a lack of knowledge on the subject and/or misunderstanding.

I've heard a lot of wonderful things about elimination communication. Many people think you are trying to potty train at an early age when in fact there is no "training".

The goal is to learn the signs of when a baby needs to go to the bathroom and let them go on a potty or toilet.

It cuts down on time a baby is spent dirty in a diaper which I think is cool

For anyone interested here is a wonderful resource all about this "different" way of handling bathroom issues.

Even though it may not be for you its still interesting to learn about different ideas and methods.



Diaper Free Baby- Elimination Communication

Re: Spinoff to different parenting styles

Re: Spinoff to different parenting styles

Re: Spinoff to different parenting styles

Re: Spinoff to different parenting styles

It comes down to a few things. Judgement is one..if people do things thatyou find "different" or "odd" , your judging them, simple as that, and we all do it.

Some people also are just comfortable with people they are similair too and the differences are too much.

Re: Spinoff to different parenting styles

Re: Spinoff to different parenting styles

Posted by Porrruss

Posted by MrsS2005

Posted by Porrruss

I think attemtping to potty train a baby is "off", IMO. *My* reasoning for thinking the toilet training thing is "weird" is because personally I just don't feel it's developmentally appropriate for a 6 month to be forced to sit on a potty.

*I'm* of the mindset of child led potty training. When the child shows a readiness, THEN it's appropriate to start toilet training. The ability for a toddler to become aware of their body's cues to void is a HUGE milestone. And like any other milestone, the "average" age is widely varied.

I'm also not a fan of flash cards or DVDs to that supposedly "speed up" speech development or early classes or devices to "teach" motor skills.

This doesn't mean I steer clear of those who do all those things. I'm always open to other people's ideas and realize that what works for some might not work for me. If they are happy with their choices, then that's all that matters.

I don't think it's really attempting to potty train the child. The parent isn't supposed to just force the baby to sit on the toilet. It's about learning to read the signs that the baby is about to go to the bathroom. When the baby exhibits those signs, the parent puts the child on the toilet. I'm not saying I'm going to do this, but from what I've read, it seems to work.

I've read about it extensively in the past- because I found it strange and wanted to educate myself on this. I still don't think it's developmentally appropriate for a child to be sitting on a potty at 5-6 months old. My 5 month old cannot sit upright- therefore holding her on a potty (in my eyes) IS forcing her.

Not for me.

Re: Spinoff to different parenting styles

I think the op was saying that the woman puts her baby on the potty to get him used to it, she didn't mention doing elimination control or the kid actually using the potty, she said she was just getting the kid used to sitting on the potty.

I don't like to judge people, because we all make what we feel are the right choices for our kids. If someone doesn't like the choices other people are making for their kids, the answer is simple, ignore it, and do not be sucked in to comparing other peoples choices to yours. Thats a surefire way of making yourself feel bad.

Re: Spinoff to different parenting styles

Message edited 4/20/2009 12:43:51 PM.

Re: Spinoff to different parenting styles

I know two people who started their babies on the toilet around 4-5 months. They are not potty trained, as someone else already pointed out, but these parents watch for the signs and bring them to the toilet. It's interesting that neither is from this country originally--one is from England the other from Russia.

So it makes me wonder if maybe as a culture we delay this, and it's not innapropriate at all. But I really do not know much about potty use in other cultures.

But to answer the OPs question, I certainly would not avoid a parent who did this, and I don't understand that at all.

Re: Spinoff to different parenting styles

AHOH,LOL
Where was that post? I didn't see it. Well I guess I should NOT have any friends than and I should also be banned from LIF
I guess most people think I am "weird" and must hate me on here,lol.(bc I have posted about this at some point)
I started EC(elimination communication) when DD was just 4 months old(didn't put her on a potty per say, but close)
DD is 19 mos and she is almost fully potty trained.
I come from a different country and different culture and there are things that I do (start milk early, giving baby things at a younger age than most moms do) that are somewhat different from what most America moms do.
My sister who lives overseas has 2 boys and they were both potty trained very early. My best friend who lives in Moscow has a 18 mo old DD and she is also fully potty trained,so.....
Everyone is different and if someone wants to judge me fro how I do things with my baby , go ahead ;)
In most countries: in Central and Eastern Europe and in Asia and Middle East children are potty trained very early (some start when the baby is just 6 weeks old) and it works just fine and no one is hurt as result of it.
We are just so quick to judge other moms and their choices .

P.S.
Plus its not really potty training , it's EC which means that you hold them over the toilet or a potty few times a day and start watching the signs throughout the day and go from there, this doesn't mean that they will be potty trained at the age of 15 months or something, maybe not even 2 years. It depends on a child.
Does this make sense? I hope so

Message edited 4/20/2009 8:08:21 PM.

Re: Spinoff to different parenting styles

Posted by tatuka

AHOH,LOL
Where was that post? I didn't see it. Well I guess I should NOT have any friends than and I should also be banned from LIF
I guess most people think I am "weird" and must hate me on here,lol.(bc I have posted about this at some point)
I started AC(elimination communication) when DD was just 4 months old(didn't put her on a potty per say, but close)
DD is 19 mos and she is almost fully potty trained.
I come from a different country and different culture and there are things that I do (start milk early, giving baby things at a younger age than most moms do) that are somewhat different from what most America moms do.
My sister who lives overseas has 2 boys and they were both potty trained very early. My best friend who lives in Moscow has a 18 mo old DD and she is also fully potty trained,so.....
Everyone is different and if someone wants to judge me fro how I do things with my baby , go ahead ;)
In most countries: in Central and Eastern Europe and in Asia and Middle East children are potty trained very early (some start when the baby is just 6 weeks old) and it works just fine and no one is hurt as result of it.
We are just so quick to judge other moms and their choices .

P.S.
Plus its not really potty training , it's AC which means that you hold them over the toilet or a potty few times a day and start watching the signs throughout the day and go from there, this doesn't mean that they will be potty trained at the age of 15 months or something, maybe not even 2 years. It depends on a child.
Does this make sense? I hope so

Re: Spinoff to different parenting styles

Posted by headoverheels

Posted by 1stimemom

Posted by headoverheels

i honestly don't know if i would avoid associating with a mom who did this, but if i noticed that it was a trend with this mom (that she did other things that, in my opinion, were designed to force her child to grow up more quickly) i would probably distance myself from her.

Thanks for your honesty! May I specifically ask why though? Do you think that that parent would try to make YOUR child "grow up" more quickly? Do you think that parent is a bad person? Would it flat out just make you feel uncomfortable?

i think it's because deep down i would have a hard time watching it - seeing it happen in front of me. plus i have a big mouth and i might say something i shouldn't

but like i said earlier, it couldn't just be one thing i saw - it would have to be several things that, to me, indicated a trend of a mommy forcing their kid to grow up, KWIM?

Re: Spinoff to different parenting styles

I was potty trained by 14 months It's in my parents culture to potty train early, and learn the cues early on, my mom is actually quite the opposite and thinks its ridiculous that there are kids running around in diapers at 3 years old, its honestly cultural I think and partially just choice...I would never "steer clear" of someone that does something I think is odd with their child, bc it's precisely that, their child and its not like they are imposing their views onto me or my child....

Re: Spinoff to different parenting styles

Posted by pickles16

I was potty trained by 14 months It's in my parents culture to potty train early, and learn the cues early on, my mom is actually quite the opposite and thinks its ridiculous that there are kids running around in diapers at 3 years old, its honestly cultural I think and partially just choice...I would never "steer clear" of someone that does something I think is odd with their child, bc it's precisely that, their child and its not like they are imposing their views onto me or my child....

Re: Spinoff to different parenting styles

I am from a pretty "regular" background culture (italian) and my mother insists that every single one of us was potty trained before 2.

Hey, I would never judge anyone - to each his (or her ) own, however, the less poopy diapers I have to take care of, the better!!

Re: Spinoff to different parenting styles

Posted by 1stimemom

Sorry to be a pain, LB, but what would you consider things that would make a DC "grow up too fast"?? Just curious because I am sure many peopl efeel the same way you do and I was just wondering. I know Anthony does some things I think is too soon, but he insists - I cant control him untess I want a fight, KWIM?

Message edited 4/20/2009 7:05:08 PM.

Re: Spinoff to different parenting styles

Re: Spinoff to different parenting styles