Re: Please offer joint custody insight about neices

Posted by headoverheels

Posted by smdl

Posted by headoverheels

Posted by smdl

Posted by ziamaria
unfortunately, it's not always feasible to be in the same area with blended families - just the way it works...and it s ucks, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Unfortunatelly the kids are paying for this. It's not their fault! They did not ask for this. The dad should be adult enough to put his foot down and not "abandon" HIS kids.

I wonder how she would feel if she had to leave HER kid behind.

Apparently, his kids are no longer his priority.

i really hope you never have to make such a hard decision. but sometimes it's just not that simple. her WHOLE family (it seems) is in FL. should he just not have married her because of this? he is trying to make a new life for himself - don't we all deserve that? i don't think he is doing this because he WANTS to leave his daughters in MI - this is just the best choice for him right now.

As a mom, I could NEVER leave my child so far away to be with the "new" DH. I could not even conceive to do that to my child. I would feel I abandonned my child.

Before he got divorced, he was leaving 24/7 with his kids. Then he was not there as often after the divorce. Now he will live in FL.

A new life does not mean leaving your kids behind. We are talking MI to FL.

And you are talking about leaving her family not her child. We are not talking about his family but his children.

ETA: If DH and I were to be divorced I also would not move out of state. DH deserves to see his kid as much as possible. How unfair to a father also for a mom to leave so far away.

i can totally understand that you would never abandon your child. it would probably be easy for you to avoid that, because if your DH and you were to divorce, more than likely, you would be granted custody. it's just not as easy for fathers.

as for you saying that you would not move out of state, i hope you never have to make that decision. some women are not that lucky. living in NY is RIDICULOUSLY expensive and sometimes, JUST to support themselves and not live hand to mouth, they need to leave NY. like i said before (or possibly in another thread) i see it all the time at work.

i would never wish this situation on ANYONE - but never say never. i doubt anyone gets married thinking they will face a decision like this.

Re: Please offer joint custody insight about neices

I feel bad for your nieces but honestly many dads live hundreds of miles away from their children and don't really feel "bad" about it and they make it work. A couple of my co-workers have an arragement as such and the fathers come to see the children on school breaks, etc. My entire family lives in MI and the economy is horrible there. There are no jobs and the foreclosure rate is just about the highest in the country, so I really don't blame his wife for not wanting to move there.

Re: Please offer joint custody insight about neices

thanks all for reading through, I know it was long.

don't even get me started on him going every 3 weeks.

First, we were suppose to go to PR with their family....he backed out due to money. fine.

We were dying to hang out with the girls, they love josh and have never seen the ocean...so we plan a 3 day camping/3 day beach vacation for July.

BIL cancelled again because of money, but it was going to be super cheap.

However, he is in FL as we speak, running around Islands of Adventure with new family and jet skiing...all while the girls got gipped out of a summer vacation with us.

Re: Please offer joint custody insight about neices

This all sounds really sad I feel badly for those girls. We can all put whatever spin we want on it to justify or rationalize the father's choices, however these are kids and you really can't expect kids to understand the economic conditions of MI that would force their father and new Stepmom to make a life on the other side of the country instead of near them. It also won't help these kids to know that this sort of thing happens all the time. The adults have all the choices and the kids have to adjust. All we can do is hope it works out because it will effect them for the rest of their lives and if they perceive it as their father choosing the new wife and her child over them, it will be really hard for them to get over it.