Please tell me - am I being crazy????

Please don't quote - I will probably delete.

OK, my sister and I are close to 5 years apart (she's older). We have always been pretty close and I do consider her a best friend.

With that being said. She has two beautiful sons already and when I initially told her DH and I were TTC a few weeks later she came out and said she was. I tried to not let it bother me and moved on. Well, I got pg in October (am now 13 weeks) and seemed a tad jealous when we announced it. But I figured she would do the right thing and back off TTC for a little while, let us have the spotlight for a change.

Yesterday, at Christmas she made my dad open a gift that was actually a picture of a sonogram.....my EDD is July 2nd hers is July 30th.

Aside from the fact I felt her presentation of her third pregnancy was a smack in the face to me and DH, I'm DEVASTATED. Am I wrong?

I feel like my thunder has been completely stolen and now I have to share my FIRST pregnancy...FIRST child, with my sister's 3rd right on my tail.

DH has always felt my sister would take the limelight any day of the week and I always tried to tell him it wasn't like that. But now I'm not so sure.

So bummed. This is not how I wanted it to be.

Deep down in my heart I know I shouldn't expect anyone to put their life on hold for mine, but isn't there a level of respect that should be maintained? When your little sister is pregnant with her first don't you lay low and gloat in her happiness?

Girls.....advice, words of wisdom, anything is appreciated!

edited for typo

Message edited 12/26/2007 8:05:57 AM.

Re: Please tell me - am I being crazy????

You have a right to be upset. But that being said (as you know) there is nothing you can do about it

DH's sister has a habit of doing this to us as well, she got engaged two weeks after us, had to get married before us and we were convinced that she was going to get preggo when I did. She didn't, but she is now, and she is convinced she is having a boy and HER boy will be better than OUR boy (she has a 2 year old girl)

Just think, cousins that close in age is pretty freakin cool

Re: Please tell me - am I being crazy????

I completely understand...

Re: Please tell me - am I being crazy????

I understand more then you know

Re: Please tell me - am I being crazy????

Sorry, I'll be the naysayer here and say yes, I think you're out of line. While you can't control your emotions, you can control how you react to them and I think it's pretty crazy for you to expect your sister to "do the right thing and put TTC on hold" simply because you're pregnant If I were you I'd be thrilled that my baby is going to have a cousin less than a month apart.

Re: Please tell me - am I being crazy????

Posted by Leeners

Sorry, I'll be the naysayer here and say yes, I think you're out of line. While you can't control your emotions, you can control how you react to them and I think it's pretty crazy for you to expect your sister to "do the right thing and put TTC on hold" simply because you're pregnant If I were you I'd be thrilled that my baby is going to have a cousin less than a month apart.

Re: Please tell me - am I being crazy????

i defintiely understand how you can feel...but on the other side of things, if I have learned anything from reading these boards, TTC isnt always as easy as we can sometimes think it can be and can often take a lot of time, so i do not really think it is entirely fair for your sister to put it on hold just because you got pregnant... however- if your sister only decided she wanted to TTC because you were, I could understand how upseting that would be....

Re: Please tell me - am I being crazy????

Personally I think it would be nice to be pregnant at the same time as a sister.

ETA: While every baby is a special little miracle I don't think your sister's 3rd child will generate nearly as much excitement as your 1st. So even if you think she's trying I don't think she'll succeed in "stealing your thunder".

Message edited 12/26/2007 10:04:36 AM.

Re: Please tell me - am I being crazy????

I'm on the other end of the spectrum. My brother and I are close and I love my SIL to death. However, my DH nd I got engaged right before their wedding. We got pregnant right before they gave birth and we are having a boy...just like they did. I feel bad that I 'steal their thunder'. But I don't do it purposely. It is just how the cards are falling in place for me...and I don't feel it's fair to put my life on hold. They make it a point to be very happy for me(no matter how they are feeling deep down inside)...and that is really important to me. All we keep saying is how our two boys will be best friends!

Re: Please tell me - am I being crazy????

I agree with you 100%, I would be so upset?mad, especially since this is her third child, she could have waited a couple of months. Now They are going to be less than one month apart and I just feel like it's not fair to you or the new baby. There is not much you can do about it, she is already pregnant. The one good thing is that they will be very close in age and your baby will have someone to play with sorry she stole your thunder

Re: Please tell me - am I being crazy????

Posted by Preguntas

Posted by Leeners

Sorry, I'll be the naysayer here and say yes, I think you're out of line. While you can't control your emotions, you can control how you react to them and I think it's pretty crazy for you to expect your sister to "do the right thing and put TTC on hold" simply because you're pregnant If I were you I'd be thrilled that my baby is going to have a cousin less than a month apart.

I'm sorry- I have to agree.
But I do feel for you, I'm sure it stings.

Re: Please tell me - am I being crazy????

The same EXACT thing happened to me this Christmas, and I have to say that initially, I was also a little upset about being "upstaged" but that was just on the first day and it was my initial gut reaction.

Then I came to realize that all babies are a blessing, and wanting to have more children and ttc is not something anyone should hold off doing for anyone else if they are ready.

I know it's hard but try to think of this as a way to bond with your sis.

As much as it stinks to have to share the attention, just think of how precious your baby is to you, and that it should be no less precious to your sister.

I'm sure she didn't do this on purpose to compete with you. It may have just happened the way it did. As other posters have stated, it's almost impossible to plan when you are going to get PG, so holding off ttc is a bit much to ask of someone.

That being said, I completely understand your frustration. Try to be happy for your sister.

Re: Please tell me - am I being crazy????

Let me tell you, I was in almost the same situation 3 years ago...except my sister is younger. She got married first, had the first grandchild, etc. I found out I was pregnant Christmas Eve 3 years ago and on 1/7 at a family wedding, she not only told me she was pregnant with her 2nd baby, but that we were due 5 DAYS apart! Logically, I should have been thrilled, but at the first dance I told my DH with a tear in my eye--why couldn't it just be ME for a change?! He didn't even understand really.

It was actually pretty nice going through the pregnancies together. Especially since she had been through it, she could answer my questions. I was still worried that we would have the babies on the same day--then what?!?

Well, in the end, her DD is only 3 days older than my DD. They're 2 now, and guess what...it's been AWESOME!! It's been so much fun watching them together the past 2 years and now, they're the best of friends and partners in crime whenever they're together!! So, in the end (aside from coordinating b-day parties and christenings) it's been a blast and all those old feelings have been totally forgotten. Here are the two crazy ladies now...

Re: Please tell me - am I being crazy????

Re: Please tell me - am I being crazy????

Posted by Leeners

Sorry, I'll be the naysayer here and say yes, I think you're out of line. While you can't control your emotions, you can control how you react to them and I think it's pretty crazy for you to expect your sister to "do the right thing and put TTC on hold" simply because you're pregnant If I were you I'd be thrilled that my baby is going to have a cousin less than a month apart.

Re: Please tell me - am I being crazy????

Posted by Disneygirl

Personally I think it would be nice to be pregnant at the same time as a sister.

ETA: While every baby is a special little miracle I don't think your sister's 3rd child will generate nearly as much excitement as your 1st. So even if you think she's trying I don't think she'll succeed in "stealing your thunder".

Re: Please tell me - am I being crazy????

Posted by Preguntas

Posted by Leeners

Sorry, I'll be the naysayer here and say yes, I think you're out of line. While you can't control your emotions, you can control how you react to them and I think it's pretty crazy for you to expect your sister to "do the right thing and put TTC on hold" simply because you're pregnant If I were you I'd be thrilled that my baby is going to have a cousin less than a month apart.

I'm sorry- I have to agree.
But I do feel for you, I'm sure it stings.

Re: Please tell me - am I being crazy????

if all your life your sister was always stealing your thunder and it was on purpose bc overall she is a jealous person than I would def be upset. there are people out there who have to copycat people bc they are jealous.

However, if thats just how the carda are falling, then you should be happy to share a time like this with your sister. Your babies can grow up togehter. I would try to enjoy it

Re: Please tell me - am I being crazy????

I'm sorry your feelings are hurt, and I can completely understand your feelings - she could have let you have this one a little (maybe let you in on the fact she was pg instead of letting you find out like that). BUT, I don't think she should have put off TTCing and don't think you should worry about her stealing your thunder.

This is your first child and he or she will be cherished no matter who is coming a few weeks later and hopefully your baby will have a best friend for life in his/her new cousin.

Message edited 12/26/2007 11:51:08 AM.

Re: Please tell me - am I being crazy????

Posted by Leeners

Sorry, I'll be the naysayer here and say yes, I think you're out of line. While you can't control your emotions, you can control how you react to them and I think it's pretty crazy for you to expect your sister to "do the right thing and put TTC on hold" simply because you're pregnant If I were you I'd be thrilled that my baby is going to have a cousin less than a month apart.

Re: Please tell me - am I being crazy????

you have every right to feel the way you do. my sister told me she was PG with #2 the day I gave birth. and ps, my DD was 7 weeks early and I had an emergency c section.

and i know its frustrating, but dont' stoop to her level. she needs to feel important, so just let her think that she is.

Re: Please tell me - am I being crazy????

I am sorry I am sure you wanted to enjoy this for yourself without sharing the spotlight, but I agree and feel you can't expect anyone to put their life on hold. It will be just as special since this is your first.
I wish you luck and try and enjoy the time...I don't have any sisters and most of my close family moved away so I have no idea how you feel but at least you get to share it with someone, if that makes you feel any better, not sure.
Best of Luck!!!!!!!

Re: Please tell me - am I being crazy????

Posted by Leeners

Sorry, I'll be the naysayer here and say yes, I think you're out of line. While you can't control your emotions, you can control how you react to them and I think it's pretty crazy for you to expect your sister to "do the right thing and put TTC on hold" simply because you're pregnant If I were you I'd be thrilled that my baby is going to have a cousin less than a month apart.