pre-school angst.... anyone else have a toddler with major separation anxiety?

Last week was DD's 1st week of preschool.

Monday was great- she was a little "weepy" but nothing crazy- did activities, played etc.

Wednesday- she cried for about 1/2 the class- she is only "ok" when the teachers are directly one-on-one with her, which obviously they can't do all the time. When she has time to "think" about me not being with her, she cries. Hysterically.

Friday we came in late, as per the teacher's request, and I stayed for about 20 minutes. After 20 minutes, when they had Maddie in an activity I left. They had me sneak out- which was probably a bad idea- and she was OK for about 20 minutes, then went ape- and they called me back and I had to come take her out 'cause even with me there she was crying really, really hysterically.

tomorrow we have to go in an hour late and I have to stay with her and try and separate a little.. but stay close- and I have to wait until the end of the class, b/c on Friday when I took her out early, the rest of the kids wanted their mommies too- it was a little disruptive. Plus the teacher thinks it will be good for Maddie to see the other mommies picking up her classmates.

I hope we can get her to calm down this week- has anyone else had such problems with their DC and pre-school? DD has only been with me/my mother, family- she's never been at daycare- so she's not used to being with "strangers"..

She's also on the younger side- she'll be 3 the end of October- so there is a pretty big difference between her and the kids who turned three earlier this year.

I'm not sure what to do- if I just pull her and try again next year.. and probably face the same situation... I don't know.

any help, advise, encouragement would be so welcome. Maybe it's pregnancy hormones, but I'm so emotional and I feel like a parenting failure.

Re: pre-school angst.... anyone else have a toddler with major separation anxiety?

My DS is an October baby and we started him in pre-k last year as well at 2 going on 3...Most of the other children were already 3...I am a SAHM and he had never been with anyone outside of myself, DH and occasionally grandma....

The first week was horrendous, he would cry, hang on my leg , you name it...Broke my heart !!! I called his teacher and said "Maybe he's not ready for this " The teacher said, 2 weeks trust me , he's going to be fine....
And wouldn't you know, it was like a magic #, after 2 weeks he was a new kid...Good-byes got better and better and sometimes he would be having so much fun, it would be hard to get him to leave ......Now I'm lucky to get a kiss good-bye from him !!(he's 3 going to be 4 Oct12)

For us, it was always a very short good-bye, mommy loves you, have a great time and go type of thing...I never lingered and felt that was better for him..It was hard to do I will admit, but I knew he was in good hands and that in the end it was good for him to see that its okay to be away from me and that I always come back...I think what took time is the trust that he needed to form, that I was going to return and once he saw that I was, he "got" it...

I also would say to him , "First your going to play/learn and have fun with your new friends , then you will have snack and play some more and then I will be there waiting for you"...it gave him a little bit of a sense of "time", so that he would know what to expect...

There is also the book "The Kissing Hand" that may help...

Good Luck, I really feel time is key

Re: pre-school angst.... anyone else have a toddler with major separation anxiety?

I think most kids go through this. One little boy in DS's first pre-school class got so upset he threw up in class (his mom elected to take him out of class, tried again the next year, and he was fine). My DS (the first year) was fine for the first two weeks, and then would get hysterical when we'd try to leave him there (the teacher would close the door and I could hear him pulling on the doorknob trying to open it). Shortly thereafter, he was fine - for a few months. Then he started again. It seems to come and go for most kids. This is his third year at school and so far, so good - no issues. But I've seen other kids who have been there one or two years having issues again. What worked for us was finding out from him what was making him so upset (he thought we weren't coming back) and then addressing it (whenever we dropped him off, we always told him that we will always come back for him when class was done). See if she will tell you why she's upset and then maybe you can come up with a way to make her feel more comfortable.

Re: pre-school angst.... anyone else have a toddler with major separation anxiety?

thanks ladies...
I know she's upset b/c of the whole leaving thing..

last night she said, "mom, don't leave me at school".. and I reassure her that mom always comes back, etc etc"..