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MyBabyG
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/15 793 total posts
Name:
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Re: Promposals
That sounds extremely rediculous.  
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Posted 3/18/16 12:26 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
blessedmama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 341 total posts
Name:
Heather`
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Re: Promposals
Posted by chilltocam
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by nferrandi
I don't know, I think it's kind of nice. I don't think it should have to cost a lot of money, but a thoughtful way of asking someone to the prom sounds sweet. I also don't think it's bad to teach boys to do nice things for a girl they care about- whether it's their girlfriend or just a friend.
I agree with you!! It doesn't need to be some big, over the top, grand gesture but I think it could be sweet to ask a girl to the prom in a nice, thoughtful way. I would've loved it if when DH and I were in HS he asked me to the prom with a "promposal".
I think it sounds worse on paper than it is. I've seen a few pics of "promposals" on FB and they are generally simple and cute. Look, if it's not harming anyone and it makes someone feel good about themselves and happy who really cares! There are worse things in the world to be concerned about than a boy going the extra mile to impress and be romantic towards their girlfriend. Or even just being thoughtful towards a friend.
I totally agree it's great to teach our kids to go out of their way for others. To WANT to make a big deal out of something to make their friend/girlfriend/boyfriend feel special etc.
But, I think those gestures come from YOU. Not from the pressure of the whole HS "Prom-posing" KWIM?
And that's another reason why I think this is SO ridiculous.
Asking someone to prom in a nice, thoughtful way is one thing. But, some of these prom-posals are so over the top and puts a lot of pressure on kids -(sorry - but I totally disagree with the an above poster who said that they are adults - at 17 or 18 yr old, they are still kids, still vulnerable to peer pressure and not capable of making decisions that a true adult would make) - as has been mentioned, the boys feel pressured to make their GF or date feel special and the girls can feel pressured into saying yes if there is a big public display, or feeling like maybe the way she was asked wasn't "special enough". Absolutely nothing wrong with a thoughtful way to ask someone, but between over the top sweet 16's and now "prom-posals", what will these kids expect when it comes to marriage proposals and weddings?
I guess I don't see it this way as I have an older child and these older kids are doing many things that adults do, go to school, go to work, drive. They are making many decisions on their own and many of these "kids" are older, like some of the posters here and are already married so they have gone through the weddings too.
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| Posted 3/18/16 12:40 PM |
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blessedmama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 341 total posts
Name:
Heather`
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Re: Promposals
Posted by JennCo
as if the pressures of HS aren't enough.....they are now proposing to one another with "the bachelor" type proposals?
I wonder, is this a LI thing? You know, like how over the top weddings are usually only here?
Or is this like a social media thing that is just "normal" these days?
Nope I have seen it on facebook with many people who live outside of NY.
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| Posted 3/18/16 12:41 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Promposals
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by chilltocam
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by nferrandi
I don't know, I think it's kind of nice. I don't think it should have to cost a lot of money, but a thoughtful way of asking someone to the prom sounds sweet. I also don't think it's bad to teach boys to do nice things for a girl they care about- whether it's their girlfriend or just a friend.
I agree with you!! It doesn't need to be some big, over the top, grand gesture but I think it could be sweet to ask a girl to the prom in a nice, thoughtful way. I would've loved it if when DH and I were in HS he asked me to the prom with a "promposal".
I think it sounds worse on paper than it is. I've seen a few pics of "promposals" on FB and they are generally simple and cute. Look, if it's not harming anyone and it makes someone feel good about themselves and happy who really cares! There are worse things in the world to be concerned about than a boy going the extra mile to impress and be romantic towards their girlfriend. Or even just being thoughtful towards a friend.
I totally agree it's great to teach our kids to go out of their way for others. To WANT to make a big deal out of something to make their friend/girlfriend/boyfriend feel special etc.
But, I think those gestures come from YOU. Not from the pressure of the whole HS "Prom-posing" KWIM?
And that's another reason why I think this is SO ridiculous.
Asking someone to prom in a nice, thoughtful way is one thing. But, some of these prom-posals are so over the top and puts a lot of pressure on kids -(sorry - but I totally disagree with the an above poster who said that they are adults - at 17 or 18 yr old, they are still kids, still vulnerable to peer pressure and not capable of making decisions that a true adult would make) - as has been mentioned, the boys feel pressured to make their GF or date feel special and the girls can feel pressured into saying yes if there is a big public display, or feeling like maybe the way she was asked wasn't "special enough". Absolutely nothing wrong with a thoughtful way to ask someone, but between over the top sweet 16's and now "prom-posals", what will these kids expect when it comes to marriage proposals and weddings?
I guess I don't see it this way as I have an older child and these older kids are doing many things that adults do, go to school, go to work, drive. They are making many decisions on their own and many of these "kids" are older, like some of the posters here and are already married so they have gone through the weddings too.
Wait you are saying some kids in your child's HS are already married?
Message edited 3/18/2016 12:50:05 PM.
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| Posted 3/18/16 12:49 PM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Re: Promposals
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by chilltocam
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by nferrandi
Asking someone to prom in a nice, thoughtful way is one thing. But, some of these prom-posals are so over the top and puts a lot of pressure on kids -(sorry - but I totally disagree with the an above poster who said that they are adults - at 17 or 18 yr old, they are still kids, still vulnerable to peer pressure and not capable of making decisions that a true adult would make) - as has been mentioned, the boys feel pressured to make their GF or date feel special and the girls can feel pressured into saying yes if there is a big public display, or feeling like maybe the way she was asked wasn't "special enough". Absolutely nothing wrong with a thoughtful way to ask someone, but between over the top sweet 16's and now "prom-posals", what will these kids expect when it comes to marriage proposals and weddings?
I guess I don't see it this way as I have an older child and these older kids are doing many things that adults do, go to school, go to work, drive. They are making many decisions on their own and many of these "kids" are older, like some of the posters here and are already married so they have gone through the weddings too.
Yes, my SS goes to school, has a job, drives, will go off to college next year at a school pretty far from home, etc, and is very responsible. I do think he is LEARNING to be an adult but there is no way I think he and I (or he and someone on their 30's) have the same level of maturity and same ability to process things. A teenager (or even someone in their early 20's) is much more susceptible to peer pressure or wanting to fit in than a true adult who has had much more life experience. These proposals are just one more thing that a lot of kids think MUST be a part of the prom experience - because they see "everyone else" doing it - or else it is not "the right way", when in reality, there are so many ways to ask someone to a prom that will be "the right way" - probably always with some anxiety, but there doesn't need to be that added pressure.
Message edited 3/18/2016 12:56:17 PM.
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| Posted 3/18/16 12:54 PM |
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Re: Promposals
I think my niece had one last year and then he dumped her right after the prom - so this whole elaborate thing is so goddamned phony and stupid. If girls are expecting this crap when they are 16, then life will just never be good enough. and everyone will need to go to elaborate schemes to be insincere.
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| Posted 3/18/16 1:26 PM |
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Re: Promposals
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by chilltocam
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by nferrandi
I don't know, I think it's kind of nice. I don't think it should have to cost a lot of money, but a thoughtful way of asking someone to the prom sounds sweet. I also don't think it's bad to teach boys to do nice things for a girl they care about- whether it's their girlfriend or just a friend.
I agree with you!! It doesn't need to be some big, over the top, grand gesture but I think it could be sweet to ask a girl to the prom in a nice, thoughtful way. I would've loved it if when DH and I were in HS he asked me to the prom with a "promposal".
I think it sounds worse on paper than it is. I've seen a few pics of "promposals" on FB and they are generally simple and cute. Look, if it's not harming anyone and it makes someone feel good about themselves and happy who really cares! There are worse things in the world to be concerned about than a boy going the extra mile to impress and be romantic towards their girlfriend. Or even just being thoughtful towards a friend.
I totally agree it's great to teach our kids to go out of their way for others. To WANT to make a big deal out of something to make their friend/girlfriend/boyfriend feel special etc.
But, I think those gestures come from YOU. Not from the pressure of the whole HS "Prom-posing" KWIM?
And that's another reason why I think this is SO ridiculous.
Asking someone to prom in a nice, thoughtful way is one thing. But, some of these prom-posals are so over the top and puts a lot of pressure on kids -(sorry - but I totally disagree with the an above poster who said that they are adults - at 17 or 18 yr old, they are still kids, still vulnerable to peer pressure and not capable of making decisions that a true adult would make) - as has been mentioned, the boys feel pressured to make their GF or date feel special and the girls can feel pressured into saying yes if there is a big public display, or feeling like maybe the way she was asked wasn't "special enough". Absolutely nothing wrong with a thoughtful way to ask someone, but between over the top sweet 16's and now "prom-posals", what will these kids expect when it comes to marriage proposals and weddings?
I guess I don't see it this way as I have an older child and these older kids are doing many things that adults do, go to school, go to work, drive. They are making many decisions on their own and many of these "kids" are older, like some of the posters here and are already married so they have gone through the weddings too.
Wait you are saying some kids in your child's HS are already married?
The HS students you are talking about sound like 30 year olds!!!
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| Posted 3/18/16 1:34 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Promposals
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by chilltocam
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by nferrandi
I don't know, I think it's kind of nice. I don't think it should have to cost a lot of money, but a thoughtful way of asking someone to the prom sounds sweet. I also don't think it's bad to teach boys to do nice things for a girl they care about- whether it's their girlfriend or just a friend.
I agree with you!! It doesn't need to be some big, over the top, grand gesture but I think it could be sweet to ask a girl to the prom in a nice, thoughtful way. I would've loved it if when DH and I were in HS he asked me to the prom with a "promposal".
I think it sounds worse on paper than it is. I've seen a few pics of "promposals" on FB and they are generally simple and cute. Look, if it's not harming anyone and it makes someone feel good about themselves and happy who really cares! There are worse things in the world to be concerned about than a boy going the extra mile to impress and be romantic towards their girlfriend. Or even just being thoughtful towards a friend.
I totally agree it's great to teach our kids to go out of their way for others. To WANT to make a big deal out of something to make their friend/girlfriend/boyfriend feel special etc.
But, I think those gestures come from YOU. Not from the pressure of the whole HS "Prom-posing" KWIM?
And that's another reason why I think this is SO ridiculous.
Asking someone to prom in a nice, thoughtful way is one thing. But, some of these prom-posals are so over the top and puts a lot of pressure on kids -(sorry - but I totally disagree with the an above poster who said that they are adults - at 17 or 18 yr old, they are still kids, still vulnerable to peer pressure and not capable of making decisions that a true adult would make) - as has been mentioned, the boys feel pressured to make their GF or date feel special and the girls can feel pressured into saying yes if there is a big public display, or feeling like maybe the way she was asked wasn't "special enough". Absolutely nothing wrong with a thoughtful way to ask someone, but between over the top sweet 16's and now "prom-posals", what will these kids expect when it comes to marriage proposals and weddings?
I guess I don't see it this way as I have an older child and these older kids are doing many things that adults do, go to school, go to work, drive. They are making many decisions on their own and many of these "kids" are older, like some of the posters here and are already married so they have gone through the weddings too.
Wait you are saying some kids in your child's HS are already married?
The HS students you are talking about sound like 30 year olds!!!
I was thinking, well maybe they got left back, like a LOT!
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| Posted 3/18/16 3:50 PM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Re: Promposals
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by chilltocam
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by nferrandi
I don't know, I think it's kind of nice. I don't think it should have to cost a lot of money, but a thoughtful way of asking someone to the prom sounds sweet. I also don't think it's bad to teach boys to do nice things for a girl they care about- whether it's their girlfriend or just a friend.
I agree with you!! It doesn't need to be some big, over the top, grand gesture but I think it could be sweet to ask a girl to the prom in a nice, thoughtful way. I would've loved it if when DH and I were in HS he asked me to the prom with a "promposal".
I think it sounds worse on paper than it is. I've seen a few pics of "promposals" on FB and they are generally simple and cute. Look, if it's not harming anyone and it makes someone feel good about themselves and happy who really cares! There are worse things in the world to be concerned about than a boy going the extra mile to impress and be romantic towards their girlfriend. Or even just being thoughtful towards a friend.
I totally agree it's great to teach our kids to go out of their way for others. To WANT to make a big deal out of something to make their friend/girlfriend/boyfriend feel special etc.
But, I think those gestures come from YOU. Not from the pressure of the whole HS "Prom-posing" KWIM?
And that's another reason why I think this is SO ridiculous.
Asking someone to prom in a nice, thoughtful way is one thing. But, some of these prom-posals are so over the top and puts a lot of pressure on kids -(sorry - but I totally disagree with the an above poster who said that they are adults - at 17 or 18 yr old, they are still kids, still vulnerable to peer pressure and not capable of making decisions that a true adult would make) - as has been mentioned, the boys feel pressured to make their GF or date feel special and the girls can feel pressured into saying yes if there is a big public display, or feeling like maybe the way she was asked wasn't "special enough". Absolutely nothing wrong with a thoughtful way to ask someone, but between over the top sweet 16's and now "prom-posals", what will these kids expect when it comes to marriage proposals and weddings?
I guess I don't see it this way as I have an older child and these older kids are doing many things that adults do, go to school, go to work, drive. They are making many decisions on their own and many of these "kids" are older, like some of the posters here and are already married so they have gone through the weddings too.
Wait you are saying some kids in your child's HS are already married?
The HS students you are talking about sound like 30 year olds!!!
I was thinking, well maybe they got left back, like a LOT!
Ok, glad I'm not the only one who was confused by that. Thought maybe I just wasn't understanding something there
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| Posted 3/18/16 3:57 PM |
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Naturalmama
Love my boys!!
Member since 1/12 3548 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Promposals
Super cheesy and super stupid. But then again, I like simple, non over the top for everything- even actual wedding proposals. What can I say, I should have been raising my kids in 1955. 
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| Posted 3/18/16 6:52 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Promposals
Posted by Momma2015
Posted by Sash
Posted by Chai77
Posted by BaseballWidow
Ridiculous! These kids are in such a hurry to grow up (a proposal for a prom; wait for your wedding) yet don't have an ounce of common sense or any idea what responsibility is. Worse yet are the parents feeding into it and condoning it. They all need lives if you ask me.
ITA.
I didn't even go to my prom. I thought the whole thing was ridiculous, even back then.
I've also heard that the sweet 16s girls are having nowadays are out of control, like weddings with basically mini "bridal type parties" they call their "court". It's just bizarre.
Sweet 16 is very old tradition, Spanish cultures have been doing it for years.
But I think the prom thing is ridiculous. Is this in only wealthy schools? My stepson isn't doing this, thank god! I would definitely have at this & wouldn't give him money to buy into this nonsense.
I was going to say the same- Asian cultures, too. I'm 30 and growing up a friend had a HUGE sweet 16 in a wedding hall with a court, choreographed dances, first dance with father/daughter, cake cutting ceremony, etc. I always wondered how she'd top it at her wedding, but she did.
All the other ones I went to were pretty low key. As for promposals back then, we didn't do them. I did go to an all girl's school from Freshman-Junior year, but even in my co-ed senior year, nobody did this. Also, a lot of people dated outside of the school, even at my co-ed highschool so it just wasn't feasible.
I think it's kinda cute to ask in a special way, but some of these are just so over the top and like pp mentioned, expensive! How are you going to out-do this when it's time to propose marriage- something real and permanent?!
I'm 36 and a lot of my cousins and friends had courts for their sweet 16 or quinceñera, with the poofy dresses, umbrellas and limos. And I know my second cousins & aunts who had them in the early 80s, we were just looking at the pics.
Maybe the poster is talking about the ones who became Americanized and even more over the top.
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| Posted 3/18/16 7:00 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Promposals
I think it's dumb.
However The prom vs. prom is totally dependent on region I think. Goes back to Blane and Andy as someone else said.
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| Posted 3/18/16 7:22 PM |
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blessedmama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 341 total posts
Name:
Heather`
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Re: Promposals
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by chilltocam
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by nferrandi
I don't know, I think it's kind of nice. I don't think it should have to cost a lot of money, but a thoughtful way of asking someone to the prom sounds sweet. I also don't think it's bad to teach boys to do nice things for a girl they care about- whether it's their girlfriend or just a friend.
I agree with you!! It doesn't need to be some big, over the top, grand gesture but I think it could be sweet to ask a girl to the prom in a nice, thoughtful way. I would've loved it if when DH and I were in HS he asked me to the prom with a "promposal".
I think it sounds worse on paper than it is. I've seen a few pics of "promposals" on FB and they are generally simple and cute. Look, if it's not harming anyone and it makes someone feel good about themselves and happy who really cares! There are worse things in the world to be concerned about than a boy going the extra mile to impress and be romantic towards their girlfriend. Or even just being thoughtful towards a friend.
I totally agree it's great to teach our kids to go out of their way for others. To WANT to make a big deal out of something to make their friend/girlfriend/boyfriend feel special etc.
But, I think those gestures come from YOU. Not from the pressure of the whole HS "Prom-posing" KWIM?
And that's another reason why I think this is SO ridiculous.
Asking someone to prom in a nice, thoughtful way is one thing. But, some of these prom-posals are so over the top and puts a lot of pressure on kids -(sorry - but I totally disagree with the an above poster who said that they are adults - at 17 or 18 yr old, they are still kids, still vulnerable to peer pressure and not capable of making decisions that a true adult would make) - as has been mentioned, the boys feel pressured to make their GF or date feel special and the girls can feel pressured into saying yes if there is a big public display, or feeling like maybe the way she was asked wasn't "special enough". Absolutely nothing wrong with a thoughtful way to ask someone, but between over the top sweet 16's and now "prom-posals", what will these kids expect when it comes to marriage proposals and weddings?
I guess I don't see it this way as I have an older child and these older kids are doing many things that adults do, go to school, go to work, drive. They are making many decisions on their own and many of these "kids" are older, like some of the posters here and are already married so they have gone through the weddings too.
Wait you are saying some kids in your child's HS are already married?
The posters here are married that had promposals lol
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| Posted 3/18/16 8:04 PM |
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MrsD121011
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 1460 total posts
Name:
Elicia
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Promposals
This is just another reason for kids to feel awkward and left out if they don't get one. I hate this idea and think its absurd. I rember in HS it was always a competition on birthdays who got the biggest bunches of balloons and on Valentines Day they would have a flower sale and deliver them to classrooms during each period. Of course some people would have armfulls and other would have nothing. This prom-posal crap is just another stupid way to divide the masses. HS sucks man!!
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| Posted 3/19/16 10:54 AM |
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Re: Promposals
Like everything else nowadays (wow, I sound old), things are way over the top but this seems rather cute and special. Something to remember always.
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| Posted 3/20/16 11:05 AM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: Promposals
Posted by NervousNell
So ridiculous and just another reason I hate what our society has become due to social media.
You know this is all so they can film it and put it on youtube, facebook or whatever other shit kids are using these days and get attention.
Lame
I hate this
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| Posted 3/21/16 3:49 PM |
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Re: Promposals
I don't mind the idea and I think it can be a fun memory but I said no to the first guy who asked me to the prom. I'm not sure this justifies it but I had a feeling that the second guy was going to ask me and then I dated him for 2 years. First guy was very nice but I knew I didn't have the same feelings he did. Anyway, I'm glad it was a low key thing when the first guy asked.
Message edited 3/22/2016 1:35:47 AM.
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| Posted 3/22/16 1:35 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: Promposals
I am torn between thinking it is fun and cute and knowing that there will be many who feel more excluded and ostracized bc they don't receive an elaborate promposal.
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| Posted 3/22/16 7:47 AM |
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Re: Promposals
Posted by MissJones
Funny side note: When I was in High School many, many years ago, we referred to it as "the prom". As in "do you want to go to THE prom with me" Now they say "do you want to go to prom with me"
This annoys the crap out of me! It's THE prom!!! It just seems unfinished - like "do you want to go to restaurant for dinner?"
Message edited 3/22/2016 12:56:24 PM.
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| Posted 3/22/16 12:56 PM |
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ChilisWife
God Bless America
Member since 5/05 3572 total posts
Name:
A.K.
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Re: Promposals
Posted by scarletbegonia
Posted by MissJones
Funny side note: When I was in High School many, many years ago, we referred to it as "the prom". As in "do you want to go to THE prom with me" Now they say "do you want to go to prom with me"
This annoys the crap out of me! It's THE prom!!! It just seems unfinished - like "do you want to go to restaurant for dinner?"
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| Posted 3/22/16 12:59 PM |
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jame0801
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/11 428 total posts
Name:
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Promposals
My son is a senior...he's asking his friend on Thursday. Yes it's a "promposal" but simple and sweet with flowers and a poster board with a cute saying. Most of his friends did similar things. I personally would rather this than texting a girl to ask her or doing it on social media. To me it's more personal which is the complete opposite of how these kids communicate these days.
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| Posted 3/22/16 8:08 PM |
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blessedmama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 341 total posts
Name:
Heather`
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Re: Promposals
Posted by jame0801
My son is a senior...he's asking his friend on Thursday. Yes it's a "promposal" but simple and sweet with flowers and a poster board with a cute saying. Most of his friends did similar things. I personally would rather this than texting a girl to ask her or doing it on social media. To me it's more personal which is the complete opposite of how these kids communicate these days.
So true. None of these kids actually talk face to face anymore.
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| Posted 3/22/16 8:38 PM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Re: Promposals
Posted by jame0801
My son is a senior...he's asking his friend on Thursday. Yes it's a "promposal" but simple and sweet with flowers and a poster board with a cute saying. Most of his friends did similar things. I personally would rather this than texting a girl to ask her or doing it on social media. To me it's more personal which is the complete opposite of how these kids communicate these days.
I think what your son is doing is great. - sweet and personal but not over the top.
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| Posted 3/22/16 9:03 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Promposals
Ehhhh lots of worse things my teen could be doing than a elaborate prom proposal
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| Posted 3/22/16 9:14 PM |
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MichLiz213
Life is Good!
Member since 7/07 7979 total posts
Name:
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Re: Promposals
Posted by gina409
Ehhhh lots of worse things my teen could be doing than a elaborate prom proposal
Considering the large heroin problem in several high schools across Long Island, I agree with this.
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| Posted 3/22/16 9:22 PM |
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