Question - Facebook and child related

If you had a child in 7th grade that had a Facebook account, would you monitor it and in some way and require your child to give you access to their account (either they are your friend or you have their password), or not.

This child (not mine) also has been battling depression for the past several months and is on medication. The parents have no access to the account because the daughter "won't let them".

I'm sorry, but the way I feel, my child at that age (12/13) would not have an account without me monitoring it. If I had to pull the plug on the computer, so be it.

Just wondering if anyone had an opinion on this.

Re: Question - Facebook and child related

I don't have children so I can't answer.

I can tell you that my two siblings that have children that age (10-16) will not let them have an account on facebook or myspace. They are monitored on which sites they go on. If they wouldn't give them the passwords, then they wouldn't be able to go on them. They can use the computers at school and many of those sites are not blocked at school.

The fact that the child is depressed on top of it, I would be all over that.

Re: Question - Facebook and child related

I'm with you.

I think every kid needs a private place to vent & go to so I get not wanting your parent in that place. The problem is that place is open & public to most people.

I would have my computer completely monitored. I would take my work policy "This computer may or may not e monitored - there is no expectation of privacy. It is our property" and go from there.

Re: Question - Facebook and child related

I don't think I'd even let my child have a myspace or facebook until they were at LEAST 16 or 17. And then- it would be monitored by me for SURE!

Re: Question - Facebook and child related

considering what happened with that poor teenager who killed herself over her myspace and another girl's mom and coworker taunting her.....and she also suffered from depression....i would absolutely restrict my child's access to any internet activity. if you don't let me see your page--then you will be locked out of the computer at home.

when my mom told me to do something--i did it. if my mom told me to give her the PW to an online site, when i was 12 years old, and I said "NO" -- you can bet they'd not only take away my internet accesss...i'd probably watch as my mom smashed the computer with a baseball bat.

Re: Question - Facebook and child related

I would be monitoring it and requiring all passwords at that age.

There are a lot of cyber-bullies out there, and I know that a young teen thinks they can handle it, but they may not be able to. Look at that awful story about the mom who made up an account to bully a girl that her daughter didn't like. That girl was depressed and killed herself.

Re: Question - Facebook and child related

I don't have kids yet, but when I do, I plan to monitor their computer activity and have the passwords for their accounts. I know all too well the kind of trouble kids can get into with strangers on the internet, and I don't want it happening to my children because I didn't set boundaries.

Re: Question - Facebook and child related

Posted by MrsPJB2007


when my mom told me to do something--i did it. if my mom told me to give her the PW to an online site, when i was 12 years old, and I said "NO" -- you can bet they'd not only take away my internet accesss...i'd probably watch as my mom smashed the computer with a baseball bat.

Re: Question - Facebook and child related

kryssy has had a myspace account for about 4 years now. she has i think 6 friends that are on it and NO PICTURES. i do have all her passwords and all the web sites she goes through i get a email. i think these parents need a wake up call to get access to her accounts asap.

Re: Question - Facebook and child related

Sorry but as a therapist, I believe that the parents have the right and responsibilty to have full access to all computer chat rooms and social areas their children are on. When they turn 18 they can have the full expectation of privacy, until then, I don't believe you can keep your child safe without this information.

Now if they want to keep a private diary that no one else can see and cause them hurt, then that is a different story. Then they should be able to keep that for themselves.

Re: Question - Facebook and child related

Re: Question - Facebook and child related

I would definitely be monitoring their activity! My niece got into some "Myspace trouble" where a parent threatened to get the police involved. Guess what, if the police get involved and the computer is in YOUR house - who do you think gets into trouble?! I also caught her putting things like "going to Burger King with so and so at 3PM!"

This reminds me of when I was younger and my friends' moms would take the modem wires with them to work so we couldnt go on when they werent there! I would take the whole monitor and throw it in my truck if that is what it takes!!

Re: Question - Facebook and child related

Re: Question - Facebook and child related

I would never let my child have access to facebook or myspace without me monitoring it.

Then again, if my kids are anything like I was it will take extreme measures to keep them in check and I am just plain scared to have kids because of that.

I don't believe that children that young are entitled to any guaranteed privacy.

Re: Question - Facebook and child related

Posted by MrsPJB2007


when my mom told me to do something--i did it. if my mom told me to give her the PW to an online site, when i was 12 years old, and I said "NO" -- you can bet they'd not only take away my internet accesss...i'd probably watch as my mom smashed the computer with a baseball bat.

Re: Question - Facebook and child related

i would have to say, if she wants to keep the account, the password is required and certain boundaries, such as no revealing pictures, no identifying information (i remember reading a story about people being able to tell what town the kids are from based on if they are at school sporting events.. just the colors of the jerseys with the mascot name on them..) and especially if they cross the boundaries, thats it, they get locked out.. there is nothing more important than their safety... even though at 13 they are not going to understand that.. it is what it is...

ETA: and it will be whatever you LET it be...

Message edited 12/15/2008 4:12:10 PM.

Re: Question - Facebook and child related

Re: Question - Facebook and child related

I don't have children, but I would monitor their facebook and myspace. My goddaughter is 14 and my bff has the sign on and password for her email and her myspace, which she checks periodically. Also, she checks the texts on her cell phone too.

Dont' get me wrong, she's a great kid, gets great grades, she's in honors classes and has nice friends. But you can never be too careful, especially on the internet.

Re: Question - Facebook and child related

I'm a HS guidance counselor and I know all too well many stories of cyber-bullying, nasty things kids do to one another involving internet picture, etc and stories about internet predators. I would absolutely require my child to give me the password to all accounts. If they refuse, goodbye computer - that simple.

Re: Question - Facebook and child related

I would at least have to see everything that the people on his/her friends list can see. I guess that would mean having my account placed on his/her friends list. I am not sure if I would require access to the inbox.

Message edited 12/15/2008 6:49:42 PM.

Re: Question - Facebook and child related

Re: Question - Facebook and child related

We wouldn't let my stepdaughter have myspace when she was 14 or 15 unless I was her friend on there....

She wound up deleting the acct one day. Something good must have been on there!!!

Re: Question - Facebook and child related

Posted by 4ForMe

Posted by Kerie-is-so-very

I would at least have to see everything that the people on his/her friends list can see. I guess that would mean having my account placed on his/her friends list. I am not sure if I would require access to the inbox.

What I failed to mention was this 12 year old friend requested me, which I was suprised about because I only have seen her 2 or 3 times and don't really know her - besides the fact I'm 41 and she's 12. I am on her mother's friend list. Anyway, I was suprised when I saw at 12 she had her status listed as "in a relationship". I sent her mother a message - just a lighthearted "I remember those crushes and glad I'm not in that stage with my daughter yet" kind of thing. That's when her mom told me she (her daughter) had been battling depression for the past 6 months (to the point where she wanted to die) and that they finally think they found the right medication and they were figuring out the dosage now. She said her daughter won't be friends with them on facebook and won't give them her password - and I told them that if there was anything I saw they needed to know I would tell them. Then I also offered her my password if she ever wanted to check in but she said she didn't think she would ever do that - which I was suprised. But to me, the fact that she wouldn't be friends with her parents or at least give them her password would have been enough for me to nix Facebook and maybe even the whole computer. I mean, this poor child has been battling a serious case of depression, and even if she wasn't, you're not going to monitor what's going on?