Question for interfaith couples

If, say, you are a devout Catholic and DH is a devout Jew -- is there any friction around holiday time? I'm just curious how that works out. I'm bored today, but it's always been something I wondered about!

Re: Question for interfaith couples

I dated a guy who is Jewish back in High School - it wasn't too bad although I'd imagine it getting harder if we were to get married - especially once kids come along. He would just do his holidays with his family and I would tag along and same for me. He even came to church with me but didn't receive. It was never a big issue for us while dating but I knew, from the beginning, that we would probably not be together long-term. His parents really wanted him to be with someone Jewish so the kids would be raised that way.

I dated a guy in College who had interfaith parents -- his father was a Polish Jew and his mother was Italian Catholic. They put up both a menorah and a Christmas tree and exposed him to both religions. He was never Christened and didn't go to religious instruction -- same thing with his Jewish side - he never had a bar-mitzvah. I guess they felt that doing one over the other would be 'preferring' one over the other. Now that he is older - he feels like he leans more toward the Catholic side and his brother feels he leans more toward the Jewish side - I guess his parents wanted them to make their own decisions once they were older. I think what will end up happening is - they will end up doing whatever the person they marry does.

Not exactly what you were asking but I figured I'd share what I knew

Message edited 12/9/2008 2:14:14 PM.

Re: Question for interfaith couples

Yes, and a lot more compromise on my end than his, but my children are not Christened, so that was a biggie in the overall *tension.*

I take it all with a grain of salt. My Children will be well educated when it comes to religions and will be free to make their own choices when the time is right. In the meantime I see nothing wrong with the exposure they are getting from all sides of the family.

Re: Question for interfaith couples

There isn't any tension at all. Neither one of us is devout in the slightest, I don't know if that makes a difference. The kids will not have any kind of religious ceremonies. Our parents both know this and are fine with it. We will celebrate each religion's traditions with our respective families, this is how we have been doing it and will continue the same way.
I actually think it makes the holidays easier. There is no conflict over who we will spend the holiday with.

Re: Question for interfaith couples

No i don't think there's any tension around the holidays. I actually like it cause there's no debating/discussing who's family gets what catholic holiday...MUCH easier...BUT ask me about my wedding, TOTALLY different story...

ETA: I'm catholic, dh jewish...Religion goes with the mother, so my kids are baptized and will be raised catholic and might even go to catholic school. BUt they will be taught the ways of judaism.

Message edited 12/9/2008 2:52:17 PM.

Re: Question for interfaith couples

All very interesting Thank you all for sharing.......I am Lutheran and DH is Catholic and he told me the first question his family asked when he began dating me was "Is she Catholic?"

(2nd question -- "Is she Italian?")

STRIKE TWO!!

Although Lutheran and Catholic are very similar, it's interesting how some families stress so much importance over religion (not that it's wrong to do so). I'll never forget, back when I was dating, I was seeing this Jewish guy and he basically told me we could never have anything serious because his mother would never accept me! Too bad, he was cute, too!

Message edited 12/9/2008 3:13:45 PM.

Re: Question for interfaith couples

Funny, this same question was asked on the Home board today.

No, because neither of us is religious. DH was raised Jewish and I was the daughter of an interfaith marriage (my father is Jewish, my mother Methodist). I wasn't raised religiously, we just celebrated the holidays!

To me and DH, the holidays are about family getting together and sharing love. Nothing religious for us.

Re: Question for interfaith couples

My DH and I are interfaith and everything works out just fine. We celebrate both holidays.

Re: Question for interfaith couples

My husband was raised Catholic. Both of his parents, and his parent's parents and their parent's parents, and even all of his cousin's spouses are Catholic. I was baptised Methodist and have not set one foot in a Methodist Church since. I'm the only member of his family that is not Catholic. I'm struggling to figure out what to do with our future children. In the past (before I fell and love and got married) I thought I would never baptize my children, but now that things have changed I know I want to baptize them but am torn as to which religion. I know Catholic would be the way to go, but my feelings about the Catholic Church aren't the most positive, and once again this would leave me as the only one in the family who isn't Catholic. I mean, picture this, a whole family at the dinner table doing grace and the sign of the cross and I'm just sitting there waiting to eat.

Re: Question for interfaith couples

actually, I love it. No problems at all with where to go for holidays and I love that his family recognized Christmas and mine recognizes Hanukkah and all that. Our kids will totally grow up knowing about both and celebrate both and then do what they choose as adults. If they want to pick one or continue with both, it's up to them.