question for those whose husband's work off shifts

My dh works overnight shifts, which is a recent change when he was promoted, before that he worked evenings... anyways... i was curious if anyone else finds it frustrating when they work off shifts... i stay at home with ds and i feel like i am doing everything and then on the one true day he is home i have to spend it getting everything done that i couldnt do when he is sleeping.... and i knw he has to sleep because he gets home at 9am and has to catch a 9pm train and having worked nights myself for 7 years i can understand what he is going through.... i just find it frustrating on the other way aswell....

Re: question for those whose husband's work off shifts

My husband doesn't work nights but he leaves the house at 10am and gets home after 9pm. So I am with DD all day. I am with her from the moment she wakes up until she goes to be. We usually get up at 8 and between getting her ready and me and him showered (easier for me to shower when he is still home)..it is time for him to leave. By the time Friday comes I AM DONE and then he usually works overtime. We wished he worked midnights this way he would be home in the evenings when I need a break.
I feel the same way you do, I try to do as much as I can when he is home on the weekends.

Re: question for those whose husband's work off shifts

DH leaves the house at 1pm and gets home at 2 am. Then he sleeps till 11am to 12pm gets up showers and leaves. I feel like a single parent and I do work from home a few days a week as well. I am a hairdresser. It is totally frustrating and causes tension between us for sure.
I have an 8 year old who needs to be run here and there and I have a 9 month old who needs everything. Its hard because the older one has school, homework, after school activities and the poor baby gets dragged everywhere. Oh did I mention that I am the class mom and the Brownie leader.

Re: question for those whose husband's work off shifts

DH leaves at 11am and doesn't get home until 10pm. (He started getting ready for the day aroune 9:30).

It is so difficult!!!!!!!! Gratefully, my parents live close by and are such a tremendous help. But I can totally relate to how you feel. Ryan wakes up 7am. DH only helps until 9ish. Then I am on my own until the next morning.

At least now Ryan is sleeping through the night. So I have some "down time" once he goes to bed at night. Sometimes I do housework and sometimes I do nothing. DH knows better than to complain!

Re: question for those whose husband's work off shifts

Re: question for those whose husband's work off shifts

I know your pain. Both DH and I work rotating shifts. Sometimes he is on days and I am on overnights. Sometiems he is on overnights and I am working the afternoon. It's all crazy. We never get to see each other. It's so hard.

Re: question for those whose husband's work off shifts

Re: question for those whose husband's work off shifts

I totally understand what you mean. DH usually leaves the house after DD goes to bed and is not home in the mornings. While at times I feel like a single parent, I know he opted for this schedule to spend more time with us in the evening from dinner (when I wake him up) until he leaves. That way he gets to give DD her bath at times.

He sleeps during the day on weekends as well since it is rare for him to have them off so I take care of DD then as well. I do all of the cooking and work full time as well.

The trade off is he does the laundry and light housekeeping duties on his days off.

It is very hard especially when DD is up sick all night and he is not home. FM me anytime you need to vent

Re: question for those whose husband's work off shifts

My dh works an overnight shift. It is so hard. He also works a lot of overtime and will work doubles etc. Its hard being home all day with my dd and having dh sleeping. Also my dh gets so grumpy when he can't sleep which I totally understand but it is very hard. I know how you are feeling!

Re: question for those whose husband's work off shifts

My DH leaves around 12:30pm and gets home around 11:30pm. I work full time and I am one my own with both of them when I get home and I am EXHAUSTED!!!! It sucks!! I hate it. I have n down time no help if I need to take a break. I totally feel pain. This is a HUGE sorce of frustration for my dh and I

Re: question for those whose husband's work off shifts

I work Tuesday mornings until noon, then 8-4 Wed-Fri. DH watches the kids. Then, he works doubles Sat. through Monday (gone from 4am-10pm). I am essentially a single mom on the weekends. It sucks, and yes, I feel I get the short end of the stick b/c I am home early on the days he's with them, but it's better than having to shell out $$$ for daycare.

Re: question for those whose husband's work off shifts

Mine is never home.

Today he left at 10 am, he won't be coming home until 2. Then back out again tomorrow morning.

Re: question for those whose husband's work off shifts

I don't know how I missed this post! I hate it. I absolutely hate this night shift stuff.
The thing is, it's so irregular for my DH. He has a two week rotating schedule, so week one he works: M/Tu/Fri/Sat/Sun, but week 2, he only works Wed/Thu. And his hours are 7pm-7am, so it really sucks. I hate that it's not just the day that he works that he needs to sleep, but the day after, too. I feel like my whole life is consumed by figuring out when he's going ot have a chance to sleep. And not for nothing, but I work, too. But the difference is, I never get a break. When I'm sleeping, I'm still on Ava duty, then I go to work and then come home and am on Ava duty again. He goes to work, comes home and sleeps while someone else watches Ava, then just gets up and goes to work again. As much as I know he hates the overnights, it still must be nice to only worry about yourself.

Re: question for those whose husband's work off shifts

I am happy to hear i am not alone... i think i amjust overly frustrated... my parents are away so i havent really had many adult conversations in the last two weeks.... which just adds to my frustration....

Re: question for those whose husband's work off shifts

I agree it definitely is not easy. My husband starts getting ready for work at 10:30am and gets home around 9pm or later every night. DS wakes up for the day around 7/8 am and DH takes over until 10:30 am, then it's all mommy for the next 24 hours since DS is getting ready for sleep when DH gets home at night.

Re: question for those whose husband's work off shifts

mine always works weekend.

I babysit a boy 5 days a week during the week. No breaks for me at all.

I don't know DH's schedule till that week. He never gets the same day off.

Between Josh, me babysitting, DH's schedule...BDing is a true challenge of quickies here and there.

Re: question for those whose husband's work off shifts

I do feel guilty for complaining, though because for 2.5 years he stayed home with Ava, then when I got home went to work, so I know he must really have felt how I feel now. It still sucks, though. We haven't gone to sleep at the same time in years. I am so jealous of the people who lay their heads down at night at the same time!

Re: question for those whose husband's work off shifts

Posted by prncss

I don't know how I missed this post! I hate it. I absolutely hate this night shift stuff.
The thing is, it's so irregular for my DH. He has a two week rotating schedule, so week one he works: M/Tu/Fri/Sat/Sun, but week 2, he only works Wed/Thu. And his hours are 7pm-7am, so it really sucks. I hate that it's not just the day that he works that he needs to sleep, but the day after, too. I feel like my whole life is consumed by figuring out when he's going ot have a chance to sleep. And not for nothing, but I work, too. But the difference is, I never get a break. When I'm sleeping, I'm still on Ava duty, then I go to work and then come home and am on Ava duty again. He goes to work, comes home and sleeps while someone else watches Ava, then just gets up and goes to work again. As much as I know he hates the overnights, it still must be nice to only worry about yourself.

Re: question for those whose husband's work off shifts

Re: question for those whose husband's work off shifts

My DH works overnights. He watches Christopher during the day and then goes in at 10:30pm and works til 6:30am and I leave for work at 8:30am.

The saving grace for us (and him) is that he rotates, so he does have days off during the week and I have off the weekends so he sleeps then.

I work full time and I am responsible for everything. DH is the primary childcare provider and I do everything else. It is frustrating, but I honestly cannot complain at this point.

As for being more rested, I sleep terribly when Chris isn't here, Maggie (the dog) and I are so jumpy

Re: question for those whose husband's work off shifts

My Dh works a rotating schedule, sometimes 3pm-11pm but mostly 11pm-7am. Then he sleeps during the day. It's a little easier now cause I'm on maternity leave but I am nervous about when i go back to work since I already sometimes feel like a single parent. I hate it, especially him not being home at night. But he is great with the baby and helping with house work when he is home and luckily my parents are close and my BFF's Dh works nights too so we do a lot together during the day.

Re: question for those whose husband's work off shifts

My husband works strange hours, not really an off shift, but bizarre hours.

He usually leaves at 5am on monday and gets home about 10-11pm. But because they worked a long day (usually 15-16hrs) they need a 10 hour turnaround so he goes in a little later, and gets home later every day. By friday he usually goes in around noon and gets home close to the time DS wakes up on saturday. So he sleeps a good part of saturday. His hours are terrible-he works so many hours a week and hardly ever sees DS mon-fri.
And I work 2 nights a week from 7pm-11pm and my Mom watches DS b/c DH is never home in time

Re: question for those whose husband's work off shifts

I am dealing with this as well
I told DH I feel like a single parent; he keeps telling me to nap when DS naps, but then NOTHING will get done!
I cant clean like I want during the day because DH is sleeping; SO frustrating

Re: question for those whose husband's work off shifts