? re: if you think something is wrong w/your child

If you suspect something is wrong, does anyone know at what point a pediatrician would recommend therapy or an evaluation?

I posted earlier about him but my nephew is 19 mos and is having some issues...not talking, not making much eye contact, not turning around when you call his name, not eating any solid foods (stictly purees and yogurt), obsessed w/TV. Lately he's being doing some weird arm & hand movements. My sister hasn't taken him anywhere yet and we (her family) are wondering at what point we need to step in and say something regardless of how much it might hurt her. We feel she may be in denial...but we don't know what the pediatricain said to her last week at her appointment. I know the pedi knows about all these things but she never mentioned to us if the pedi suggested anything as far as evaluation, etc...(and basically, we're all afraid to ask her). I know in the past the pedi *suggested* speech therapy and my sister hasn't done it yet (dont get me started on that...)
We're all trying to figure out what to and when to say something to her.
Any advice or thoughts?
TIA

Message edited 5/21/2008 9:15:00 AM.

Re: ? re: if you think something is wrong w/your child

early intervention and diagnosis is always best.
I think at 19 months, he should at least be evaluated.

ETA: in the 5 minute doctors appts, i think the doctors miss a lot, especially if the parent is withholding information.

Message edited 5/21/2008 9:15:50 AM.

Re: ? re: if you think something is wrong w/your child

At my ds's 15mo old check up I told the dr how he only says mama and doesn't respond to his name all the time and after that my ped had me go get his hearing checked (which is good, thank god) and at his 18mo check up if he's still not speaking they said they will want me to contact EI. I hope everything is ok with your nephew

Re: ? re: if you think something is wrong w/your child

Can you go to her next ped appoint? My ped always said not to worry (and he was right - but I don't regret being my child's advocate), but my friend also had the same concerns and was told not to worry. Finally at his 2 year well visit, she brought her mother and said "don't let me leave without some kind of evaluation." the ped reluctantly told her to call EI and he was diagnosed with autism She said she knew that something was wrong earlier and the ped constantly dismissed her concerns.

If your sister is in denial, can you say, "I would really like to go to the next appointment with you" You could say it out of concern or (you know your sister best) that you are thinking of switching. I wish I had done something like that with my nephew - he became obese as a baby and my sister's ped said everything was fine.

Message edited 5/21/2008 9:36:46 AM.

Re: ? re: if you think something is wrong w/your child

Based on your description, your nephew should 10000% be evaluated by EI. The eye contact, the speech delay, the weird arm movements are all indications of a potential problem. It may turn out to be nothing which is wonderful, but if it is something and she doesn't take care of it now it will be much harder for him to overcome in the future. I wouldn't wait for a ped to give the okay. I would just do it.

I hope by some miracle your sister listens to you and takes her son for an evaluation.

Re: ? re: if you think something is wrong w/your child

I usually hold my opinion to myself because you never know what someone is going through privately. She might be doing something about it, she might have already gotten an evaluation and just doesn't feel able to share with everyone. However, in this case, because time is of the essence I think you should say something-there is no down side to an evaluation. At best she will be told her DS is perfect and all her fears can be quieted. On the flip, they will confirm her fears but even that still means her DS will now get the help he needs in order to overcome/deal with it. Each of these scenarios is better than what they are doing right now, which is avoiding it and hoping it's nothing. I would say something 1:1, not as representative of the family but confidentially-it will be hard for her to hear, but good for them in the long wrong.

Re: ? re: if you think something is wrong w/your child

Look at it this way...if there is an issue..the earlier he receives services the better...

If he just had a ped appointment Im going to assume that his next appointment isnt until he is 2...do you, and your family feel comfortable waiting that long?

I have been in this position a couple of times and sometimes the mommy has been quietly addressing the issue but simply not ready yet to talk about it...or they have been in complete denial and think that nothing is wrong.

Is there anyone in your family who can talk to her better than everyone else?? Im my family Im the only one who can offer constructive critism to my older sister..she gets on the defensive with everyone else..

Or how about a group "intervention" type of thing?? She cant stay mad at everyone forever...

Re: ? re: if you think something is wrong w/your child

Posted by eroxgirl

Based on your description, your nephew should 10000% be evaluated by EI. The eye contact, the speech delay, the weird arm movements are all indications of a potential problem. It may turn out to be nothing which is wonderful, but if it is something and she doesn't take care of it now it will be much harder for him to overcome in the future. I wouldn't wait for a ped to give the okay. I would just do it.

I hope by some miracle your sister listens to you and takes her son for an evaluation.

Re: ? re: if you think something is wrong w/your child

Could your sister have already discussed her concerns with her ped and maybe she is just not comfortable talking about it? Maybe she sees these things herself and is just hoping that the baby will grow out of it. Its a tough situation, people can get very offended. If you feel comfortable and have a good relationship with your sister, maybe you should speak to her about it.

Re: ? re: if you think something is wrong w/your child

Posted by eroxgirl

Based on your description, your nephew should 10000% be evaluated by EI. The eye contact, the speech delay, the weird arm movements are all indications of a potential problem. It may turn out to be nothing which is wonderful, but if it is something and she doesn't take care of it now it will be much harder for him to overcome in the future. I wouldn't wait for a ped to give the okay. I would just do it.

I hope by some miracle your sister listens to you and takes her son for an evaluation.

Re: ? re: if you think something is wrong w/your child

Definitley call E.I.
It sounds like he should be evaluated.
I still have the number for Suffolk if you need it.

I haven't posted much about it, but, DS will be recieving services within a few weeks (to help him start walking and build his lower body).
The no eye contact, response to his name, etc. should be a concern.

FM me if you want more info.

Re: ? re: if you think something is wrong w/your child

As the child's parent I would get him evaluated but as the aunt, I'm not sure how you can force your sister into it. Everyone thought there was something with my one nephew but my SIL wasn't dealing with it. He's 7 1/2 now and he's fine, everyone would have been wrong to have tried to force her to do something. But ever child is different, it doesn't mean there isn't something with your nephew. I hope all is OK with him but that your sister will listen if you decide to discuss it with her. Maybe one person should approach her first so it doesn't feel like everyone is ganging up? Even though everyone is just doing it out of love, no one wants to hear what's "wrong" with their child so it's very hard for some people to deal with. Good luck

Re: ? re: if you think something is wrong w/your child

i can totally relate, my nephew is the same way and the whole family knows it and my SIL and BIL are in denial (although i think they know deep down something is wrong). Honestly, we have all hinted ,etc and my SIL gets so offended (e.g. she says his high pitched voice is just something he does, and also she says he's flapping b/c he gets it from her, since she did it as a child too supposedly), plus she's a pediatric occupational therapy who works with children with autism, so its not like she doesn't know the signs. Unfortunately my SIL is doing her child a disservice by not getting him some help now.
Its really hard to tell someone something may be wrong with their child, maybe have whoever is closest to your sister, sit and talk with her about your nephew. and have them take it slow and really ease her into what the concerns are. This way she not feeling like shes being ganged up on.
Good luck!

Message edited 5/21/2008 3:58:05 PM.