Ready for number 2?

I know there’s never a good time for your second (or another) kid, but I’m wondering for those with 2 or more, what do you think is the best age difference? Right now I have a 10 month old, and thinking if we should start trying for number 2—are we completely crazy? Is two under 2, or even two that are 2 ½ years apart just insane?

I know every kid is different, so it is hard to predict how things will be, but we always talked about having them close in age. I’d love to get feedback. TIA!

Ready for number 2?

I had a really difficult labor - thats why I haven't had a second baby yet. I also feel really content right now and don't have any serious baby fever. I personally would be overwhelmed with 2 under 2, if we have another I'd like my oldest to be in K at least I think.

Ready for number 2?

I got pregnant when my daughter was 9 months old. DD2 is 9 days old so I've only had 2 under 2 for 9 days lol but so far it's ok.

Re: Ready for number 2?

I am due with my 2nd on Nov 10th and DD will be 2 Nov 26th. We didn't plan it that way but everyone has been telling me that the first year is the hardest and after that it gets easier because they are in similar phases and the same time. Toys, TV etc... I am nervous but someone had a plan bigger then me. My DD took almost 2 1/2 years to conceive with fertility treatments, this baby came out of nowhere the month I stopped nursing! What a shock. I am still not sure how it happened!

Ready for number 2?

Ds2 was born when ds1 was 22 months. Its crazy at times but I love it. I like the age difference.

Re: Ready for number 2?

You should try when your Ready, if you feel you are ready now then go for it because you never know how long it will take. Life is completely different now with a baby. I wish I started early since its taking me over 2 years to conceive #2.

Good Luck!

Re: Ready for number 2?

Mine are 2 years apart and it's perfect though if I had a choice i would have had them even closer together. I think it also really depends on the personality of the first child though. My second is quite a handful but I was never overwhelmed with having 2 under 2.

Ready for number 2?

Every child and dynamics are different. I found I was pregnant when dd1 was 16 months exactly. They are exactly 2 years apart, almost to the day. Yes it's hard now but I hope they will be very close. It all depends on the older child tho. Dd1 is AMAZING with dd2. She loves her so much and is not jealous at all so it's been an easier transition for me.

Dd1 has a friend thoigh who is also two and she in no way shape or form would do well with a baby sibling. She throws huge tantrums any time my dd holds her mom hand.

There are pros and cons to every age diff. As long as you are ready for two then go for it. Keep in mind it could take awhile to get preg or it could happen right away. So don't start ttc until you are absolutely ready.

Re: Ready for number 2?

My kids are 2 years 3 months apart. It was a great gap for me & themselves. Everone's family is different though. If my younger were the older one, we would have waited for them to be 3 years apart.

Re: Ready for number 2?

My 1st two are 14 months apart. The gap between 2 and 3 is almost 4 years and then there will be a 26 month gap between 3 and 4. I have the full range.
I think close together is great because you never really leave a phase completely before the next one comes along. They get along great and always have playmates.
When you have a larger gap you have to get back into the swing of things all over again.

Re: Ready for number 2?

i got pregnant when DD was 5.5 months old, so mine are 15 months apart.
I am not going to lie, 2 under 2 is hectic! But now that we are in a groove (ds is 15 months and dd is 2.5yo) it is great! They interact well together (most of the time )
I think around 18months is when Dd became more verbal and it was when things shifted and got easier to have 2 under 2..so IMO your timing would be great

i always thought i wanted 3...but to be honest, now that ds is 15mo, just the thought of going back to the newborn phase exhausts me and I dont think we will go for #3.

there is no real "good time", something will always come up making you hesitate. i say to everyone that i am thrilled #2 was a surprise bc i dont know if i would have ever figured out a good time for #2 on my own. with a 5.5 month old, being sleep deprived, breast feeding, etc i was like how am i going to handle this?!?1 but now that they are older, i think how am i going to go back to a newborn??

of course, there is the flip side, if you wait longer the older one can "help" more. there are things i couldnt do this summer like take both kids to the pool alone bc they were both too little and both want to do their own things...and if one was older it would be easier. but for me, i love the 15 month age difference

Ready for number 2?

Mine are each 2 years apart and if anything I wish they were closer in age - it is so much easier when you are still in the stage and when the kids have the same interests.

Re: Ready for number 2?

I always thought 3 years was a good age distance since the older one would be more independent. Mine are about 3 years apart but it doesn't really matter in my case since my ds is special needs so it's essentially like I have them close in age. But anyway do whatever you feel is right for you and your family.

Ready for number 2?

My 2 youngest are 19 months apart. They are now 21 and soon to be 23 and are very close. If you are already taking care of 1 baby, you can take care of 2.

Message edited 9/10/2015 2:54:35 PM.

Re: Ready for number 2?

Do you work?

For me, I work full-time so my biggest issue would be affording full-time daycare for two children.

It can be so expensive.

I'm not in the market to have another child now or anytime soon but if I were -- the above would be MY biggest concern. Part of me thinks when I'm ready it'll likely be when Jude is in school so then I don't have to incur the cost for two at the same time.

Message edited 9/10/2015 3:04:27 PM.

Re: Ready for number 2?

My kids are almost 21 months apart (I got pg right before ds's 1st bday). I like this gap a lot. I had enough time to recover from the birth, bf for a while, get used to the mommy routine, giving me a chance to become mentally & physically ready to do it all over again. I like the gap also because ds was slightly more independent (could walk, communicate somewhat), but still a baby, so I was still very much in "baby mode"-- Also I'm hoping when they get older they can have similar interests, go to school together (just 2 grades apart), have some of the same friends, etc... My brothers were a bit older than me so I never got to have that type of sibling experience (we are close now, but growing up we didn't have much in common). I'd like to have approx. the same age gap again for my next child & any other children in the future, hopefully.

Ready for number 2?

My personal mantra is that I don't want two children both in diapers at the same time. Likely will start trying for a second once DD is starting potty-training. In addition, once DD is potty-trained, her daycare tuition decreases, and while not a ton of $$, every little bit helps since at that point I'd have 2 in daycare.

Re: Ready for number 2?

I have twins but the kicker for me is not two kids

It's two mobile kids. That's when things get interesting lol

Re: Ready for number 2?

DD1 and DD2 are 19 months apart. We are due in January with our 3rd daughter who will also be exactly 19 months apart from DD2. My age had a lot to do with why they are close in age. I wanted to be done by 35 and we were fortunate enough that it worked out that way. Going from 1 to 2 and having 2 under 2 was and is challenging but I think you'll have your challenges even if there was a 5 year gap, just different challenges. The only thing that I find very difficult is doing things or go on outings alone. When I'm alone with them it is very difficult to go to family functions, social functions, shopping, etc. because they are both too little to not be watched constantly. Since DD2 started walking it has been even harder since she is into everything. I know it will be even harder once DD3 is here but it will be worth it. I think that its wonderful that they all will be so close in age. DD1 and DD2 get closer and closer everyday. They really love each other and seeing that happen is truly wonderful .Its a huge sacrifice now but I'm happy about our decision.

Re: Ready for number 2?

Ours will be exactly 3 years apart. Honestly, I wasn't sure If we wanted a second until dd was almost 2 and out of the real baby stuff. That's when it hit me I really wanted another.

Ready for number 2?

I think it's a very personal decision that depends greatly on each individual family's situation. For me and DH, our first DD was a pretty difficult baby and she continued to be pretty high maintainence into her toddler years. Nothing too awful, but just enough that I knew I wouldn't be able to handle keeping her happy and caring for a baby at the same time. Now that she's almost 3, she's starting to become more independent, so DH and I finally felt ready to try for another. Our second will be born when DD is 3.5. I think it will be a good age difference. She's already so excited about the baby and about being a big sister. She kisses and pats my belly. I love that she's able to share in this exciting time with us. Even just a few months ago she'd get really jealous and upset if I even held someone else's baby. The only thing that makes me kinda sad is she will be going into 4th grade by the time our LO enters kindergarten, so that feels like a pretty big gap to me, but I think they can still be close if DH and I encourage and nurture a special bond between them.

Re: Ready for number 2?

I'm in the minority here...
My kids will be 5 years apart. DS just turned 5 and I'm due in 4 weeks with DD.
I think it's different for everyone. I knew very early on I didnt want my kids very close together.. DH and I both work in an industry that is very demanding, stressful and requires a lot of work at odd hours, nights weekends, etc
I knew we couldnt handle two children very close in age.
I was so worried we waited too long for number 2 but DS is so excited to be a big brother.. and I think the age gap will great. He already wants to be so helpful and he's completely self sufficient which is great.
It's such a personal decision, but I think this was right for us!

Ready for number 2?

Hailey will be 3 when this one is born. I think it's a good age difference. Hailey is almost potty trained right now and we got rid of the paci.


My sisters kids are 16m apart she thought it was a good age because they were both out of diapers around the same time!

Re: Ready for number 2?

my kids are 5.5 years apart. i didn't plan it this way but i LOVE it! my oldest is great with her. he helps me watch her and it's so nice that he's independent so i really only have to take care of her.

Re: Ready for number 2?

After reading these responses, I also want to add that I would have preferred a bigger age split to stagger daycare costs. My brother and I are 6 years apart and that's the norm for me. However, having my first at age 34 didn't leave a lot of room for waiting much longer than 3 years.