really need feedback

Thank you all!!!

Message edited 10/25/2019 10:46:25 AM.

Re: really need feedback

Have you said you need financial help? They may not be aware of the issue. I think you need to directly say, we need monetary help or will loose the house. I would not sugarcoat it. They may not realize it and think you have it covered.

Re: really need feedback

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Message edited 10/25/2019 10:46:37 AM.

Re: really need feedback

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Message edited 10/25/2019 10:46:49 AM.

Re: really need feedback

I would literally say, we need xx dollars in money. Not just complain. Make them say no to you in front of their son if you are in that bad of shape. Don’t just say oh we have money problems. It needs to be, mom and dad, we need $2000 to pay the mortgage. We don’t have any more emergency funds or savings. Can you please help by giving us $xxxx.

Re: really need feedback

Then say, maybe we will have to sell, but I would rather not go into foreclosure, so is it possible to help us for now? We can look into selling if in 6 months DH is not better.

Re: really need feedback

I think you just have to ask them directly. It’s hard for them to offer without knowing how much you truly need and for how long. As in if you need $300 a month or $3000 a month. They may be afraid to ask something like that.

really need feedback

At a minimum they should pay you "rent" for staying there, if they are unwilling to do that they can pay for a hotel. **** keeping the peace. They should be MINIMIZING YOUR STRESS at this hard time not adding to it. If they did not have the means that would be one thing but they do, pya up or kick them out.

really need feedback

I agree you need to be a little more direct. Maybe have them pay the utilities since they are using them while staying at your house. Instead of asking them for money directly maybe ask them if they can buy things you need.

really need feedback

If they aren’t willing to help, as crappy as it is, they don’t have an obligation, even though they should be giving you something for staying there if they aren’t paying for a hotel. I would look at your bills, what can go without getting paid and what’s primary. Obviously mortgage. If you have a car payment get rid of the car and lease something really cheap. Do you or your husband have a retirement account? Possibly look into the financial impact of taking a loan out on it until you are back on your feet. If you have student loans, put them in deferment, If you have credit cards see if they can work with you. If your kids are in sports, as much as you don’t want to impact them, pull them out for now. I’m so sorry you are going through this do you have a go fund me set up by chance?

Re: really need feedback

Posted by TwinMommyToBoys

If they aren’t willing to help, as crappy as it is, they don’t have an obligation, even though they should be giving you something for staying there if they aren’t paying for a hotel. I would look at your bills, what can go without getting paid and what’s primary. Obviously mortgage. If you have a car payment get rid of the car and lease something really cheap. Do you or your husband have a retirement account? Possibly look into the financial impact of taking a loan out on it until you are back on your feet. If you have student loans, put them in deferment, If you have credit cards see if they can work with you. If your kids are in sports, as much as you don’t want to impact them, pull them out for now. I’m so sorry you are going through this do you have a go fund me set up by chance?

really need feedback

I’m going through a situation where I’ve had to ask family members to help out financially- my mom passed and left nothing- and I realized that I have to ask directly for help instead of being like why isn’t so and so offering money. So I guess my advice is to be direct. Maybe ask for help with a particular bill or ask for a certain amount, I know in my situation that helped.

Re: really need feedback

you are not wrong. my feedback is your inlaws have their heads up their azz.

how DARE they stay by you and not offer a penny! what the entire f!

they KNOW you are in dire straits and tell you to sell the house? gee, thanks for nothing.

i'm so angry for you.

really need feedback

It’s a terrible situation and I am so sorry for everything you have been through
Just a thought but maybe they don’t have the money to help? Maybe they are embarrassed to share that information?

really need feedback

Thanks all for the feedback. Taking this down now.