Rough 30 week Dr appt...just need to vent

Went to my high-risk OB today for my weekly cervical length check and UAM (contraction monitor). No contractions, as usual, thankfully, but the Dr really let me have it bc of my cervix. It is basically non-existent and the only thing holding these babies in is my cerclage. It doesnt help that Baby A is resting his head right on the cervix so that is adding to all the pressure.
DH threw me under the bus too and told the Dr I went to a BBQ yesterday (i was reclined the whole time on a lounge chair so i dont know what the difference btwn that and staying in bed at home is, but whatever). I had to listen to a whole lecture about how I'm not doing my part to keep my babies out of the NICU/danger zone, etc. As if I am not dealing with enough emotionally, being on bed rest for the past 14 weeks and counting, I have to deal with the guilt that if something goes wrong, its my fault The Dr said that DH is entitled to be hard on me about staying in bed bc they are his kids too, but honestly, I would love to see my DH lose all his freedom for 4 months...its not as easy as it sounds to be stuck in bed all day and depend on someone else to do everything for you, including taking care of DS.
I've just about had it. And now the Dr made it very clear I am only to get out of the bed to use the bathroom. Before I was allowed to be out of bed for up to 2 hours/day. If my cervix is any worse next week, they will most likely be admitting to the hospital to finish my pregnancy there. I am so thankfully that I have made it to 30 weeks and now I just have to pray that these little guys cook for about 4 more weeks. I'm just having a really rough day...emotionally this is taking a huge toll on me

ok, vent over!

Re: Rough 30 week Dr appt...just need to vent

Hang in there!!!! It is soooo important to keep those little ones in as long as possible!! For all of you.....I can only imagine how hard it must be for you right now!!!

Re: Rough 30 week Dr appt...just need to vent

I know what you are feeling...I was on bed rest with my first from 16 wks because my cervix was shortening. It sucked! But try and take it easy, because as bad as it is, it will be a lot worse if they make you stay in the hospital the rest of the pregnancy. Hang in there!!! Read books, watch tv, and rest....enjoy sleep now while you still can!!!

Re: Rough 30 week Dr appt...just need to vent

I'm sorry this must be so hard for you. I'm almost 35 weeks and have been on bedrest since 31 weeks, it's awful bc I also have a little one at home , 19 months and doesn't understand why I don't play with him, carry him etc. I admit, I have been going out at times too bc I'm starting to get truly stir crazy. but since you are so early the doc will want you to stay on your sides only, not even reclining DH yells at me very often, He is right but he aslo doesn't understand how it is to feel helpless, and stuck in bed when you are not sick or anything . hang in there, keep those little ones inside for a little longer

Re: Rough 30 week Dr appt...just need to vent

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I give you sooo much credit for handling the bed rest so well. I can't imagine how difficult it must be....and even though your Dh sees what u r going through, he doesn't really get how tough it is either. Try to hang in there. U r soooo close!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: Rough 30 week Dr appt...just need to vent

Men DON'T understand. That's why they don't get their periods or give birth! I know you wouldn't do anything to put your babies at risk so don't be so hard on yourself. Do take it easy though and make sure you really don't get out of bed these next few weeks. You're almost there!!!

Re: Rough 30 week Dr appt...just need to vent

Sorry you are going through this!
You have made it this far, and are doing so well and I cant imagine what its been like for you.

Hang in there as best as you can and feel free to VENT on here anytime you want.

Re: Rough 30 week Dr appt...just need to vent

It must be so hard! Hang in there!!!!!

Re: Rough 30 week Dr appt...just need to vent

Re: Rough 30 week Dr appt...just need to vent

Re: Rough 30 week Dr appt...just need to vent

Thats a long time to be on bed rest. I don't blame you for wanting to go to the BBQ. Take it easy and keep those boys in a little longer!

Re: Rough 30 week Dr appt...just need to vent

I am so sorry it's been so long and that you still have some time to go. You have made it this far so just hang in there - only a few more weeks

Re: Rough 30 week Dr appt...just need to vent

You have every right to vent. Four more weeks sounds like forever when you are confined to a bed, but you can do it!

Re: Rough 30 week Dr appt...just need to vent

I can totally understand what you are going through Ive been on bedrest for 17 weeks--was finally taken off, also had a cerclage. It is so hard. I absolutely hated having to depend on others for so long--that is the hardest part. You feel so useless/helpless sometimes...especially when you have a toddler at home which I do as well. Your DH like mine can't understand what its like. Its easier said than done to just stay in bed. It can become extremely frustrating and depressing but..you have to just keep your eye on the prize. This is my second time going through this and Ive made it to full term so you CAN do this. Have a laptop nearby at all times try to get pics in order/put in albums ( I can't tell you how many shutterfly albums Ive made from digital pics that were just taking up space on my computer!) I even took 2 online classes for my masters+ 30 this time around (yes, Im a teacher). You probably hear this type of thing a lot though... I know that even with all this busy work sometimes you just want to scream at the top of your lungs and yell "why me?! I can't do it anymore" But just think of how worth it it will all be. So vent if you have to, cry if you feel like it, and complain as often as you see fit. This will soon be a distant memory...promise! Best of luck

Re: Rough 30 week Dr appt...just need to vent