SAHM's, do you sometimes feel like you are doing a disservice to your DC b/c they aren't in daycare? (Long)

I was home with DS f/t until he was 10 months old and I went back to work p/t 2 days a week. Over the last couple of months, I have been working 3 days. Either my DH or my mom watches him. He is doing great but I am thinking about putting him in daycare 2 days a week in Sept. when he is around 18 months old just so he learns how to share, play with other children, help with his social skills, etc. I have him in swimming now and will be doing a mommy and me class as well as either signing him up for gymboree or the little gym over the summer but I wonder if by him being with just me, DH or my mom and not around other children all the time it is "hurting" him in a way. We always have play dates and I bring him to the park every day so its not that he's not around childre...maybe just not as often as I would like at this point.

Dh and I knew when we had DS we didnt want to put him in daycare for our own personal reasons, but at 18 months I feel like I have seen all his 1st's and he is a "big" boy now and it is ok to start the seperation process. Sometimes I read other posts on here about kids who are saying a ton of words and although TJ is getting there, I wonder if he would be speaking more if he were in daycare around other children being they have such an influence. At the same time, I know they also pick up some bad habits in those situations.

I have looked into day schools or pre-schools but it is hard to find ones that will do 2 or 3 1/2 days a week for 18 month olds and the ones I did find wanted anywhere from $400-$600/mo. for basically 24 hrs. month which I though was alot IMO where as I can put him in daycare 2 days a week (for 6 hrs a day) and it is the same cost.

Has anyone done this? Put their child in daycare at a later age? How did it work out?

Re: SAHM's, do you sometimes feel like you are doing a disservice to your DC b/c they aren't in daycare? (Long)

DD hasnt been in anything yet, but she will be starting nursery school in September. She will be 2 1/2.. and she'll be going M/W/F 830am to 1230pm. Im doing this for the same reasons that you want to put your son into something. She's not around a lot of children her age.. and I feel that she needs to learn how to share/communicate/listen with someone other then me. I dont work, and I dont plan on working until DD is in kindergarten but I think it will be really good for her.

I know they start at age 2, I dont know of anyplace that starts earlier.. but Ill keep an eye out!

Re: SAHM's, do you sometimes feel like you are doing a disservice to your DC b/c they aren't in daycare? (Long)

I always took classes and made playdates while my Dd was younger. When she turned 2 I put her in nursery school for this reason. Her school starts at 18mo.

Re: SAHM's, do you sometimes feel like you are doing a disservice to your DC b/c they aren't in daycare? (Long)

No, I can't imagine a better enviroment for Josh then the one that I provide for him.

Re: SAHM's, do you sometimes feel like you are doing a disservice to your DC b/c they aren't in daycare? (Long)

Re: SAHM's, do you sometimes feel like you are doing a disservice to your DC b/c they aren't in daycare? (Long)

I worked PT- 3-4 days/week from 730am-11am up until RJ was 22 months old...

I began looking for a FT job shortly after he turned 18 months for the same reason.

Despite the fact we took classes together, I felt when we weren't in a class or a play date he was "bored".

Now DS has been in daycare since 22 months- when I went back to FT work, and I miss being home with him...

DS loves school and is THRIVING. I'm floored with his vocabulary and all that he has learned.
He DEF. is no longer bored.

Re: SAHM's, do you sometimes feel like you are doing a disservice to your DC b/c they aren't in daycare? (Long)

I used to worry about that but Jack and I are constantly out. We go to Gymboree and Music Class. I have so many friends/family with kids - that every weekend he is surrounded by a minimum of 5 kids.

I will however, once he turns 18 months put him into daycare for two half days a week. For his own learning experience --- and also, for my sanity. I would go to the office on those mornings and maybe even get a mani/pedi without him crawling all over me!

Re: SAHM's, do you sometimes feel like you are doing a disservice to your DC b/c they aren't in daycare? (Long)

I definitely feel that way sometimes. I don't think I would put DD into daycare though since I don't work and can't see paying the money while I sit at home & do nothing. I think I will put her into some kind of pre-school when she is 2.5 or 3. I'm planning on doing Mommy & Me/Gymboree type classes this summer too.

Re: SAHM's, do you sometimes feel like you are doing a disservice to your DC b/c they aren't in daycare? (Long)

Re: SAHM's, do you sometimes feel like you are doing a disservice to your DC b/c they aren't in daycare? (Long)

I have been thinking about putting DS into a daycare for 2 1/2 days a week for the same reasons you mentioned, although I am not sure.

Any suggestions on places that do part-time either day care or preschool for 18 months in Nassau ( i live in wantagh)

Re: SAHM's, do you sometimes feel like you are doing a disservice to your DC b/c they aren't in daycare? (Long)

Re: SAHM's, do you sometimes feel like you are doing a disservice to your DC b/c they aren't in daycare? (Long)

IMO both have its positives and negatives. I don't see one being any better than the other.

I do believe in socialization for kids of all ages. But you are going to classes. IMO that is great. Also lots of GTG's or playdates with friends and family that have kids as well is just as good.

You are not hurting your DC as i am not by sending him to daycare.

Daycare has its drawbacks that are a real PITA. Ever since my DS has been in daycare he has been SICK SICK SICK from the other kids. And it is driving me crazy. TO the point where i think i am making the wrong decisions. But at this point i have no choice but to have him there or for me pt daycare is the MOST ideal .

Either way do not beat yourself up about it. Being good parents and loving your child is what is important. Not how he spends his day

Re: SAHM's, do you sometimes feel like you are doing a disservice to your DC b/c they aren't in daycare? (Long)

Message edited 6/3/2008 6:36:29 PM.

Re: SAHM's, do you sometimes feel like you are doing a disservice to your DC b/c they aren't in daycare? (Long)

I was a day care teacher for years, up until I left to have DS.
I honestly still question whether or not I should have put him in daycare.
I do babysit, the baby is younger, but he does play nice with her.
There is a "school" here in town where I am thinking of enrolling him PT starting either in Sept (He will be 20months) or in Jan (He will be turning 2). I feel I want him to be around a few more children. I don't think I could do it FT, but, I think I will be doing it PT. Something I've been tossing around for a while now.

Re: SAHM's, do you sometimes feel like you are doing a disservice to your DC b/c they aren't in daycare? (Long)

I think there are pro's and con's to both, but you have to do what works for you and your family.

DH and I have our own business, and DH was home with DDIt from about 3 months-13 months while I worked FT outside the home. I started working more from home around that time. As DD started crawling/walking she was into everything, and I could get any actual work done. Even though DH and I were both at home, she only wanted me, not DH.

At 17 months she started daycare. Even on the days I work from home, she goes to daycare (from about 9am-3pm). She loves it and has learned so much. It makes me feel better because I know she is learning/playing/socializing all day, rather than being home with me, while I'm trying to work and not being able to play with her all day. She is now 21 months and I'm glad that as an infant/baby, she was home with me/DH, but now that she is older, I think she is really thriving at daycare!

Re: SAHM's, do you sometimes feel like you are doing a disservice to your DC b/c they aren't in daycare? (Long)

my daughter is not in daycare and i keep her busy in playgroups. its just as good in my opinion. we go to a seperation class so she understands mommy leaves and she can play with the kids. i have her going to preschool in sept mwf to give me a break. she will be 2.5 years old by then. her vocabulary is above the average child her age. it has to do with the classes i take her to, the time i spend with her, i read to her a lot and am teaching her letters now. i dont think daycare can give the individual attention that mommy or daddy can give.

Re: SAHM's, do you sometimes feel like you are doing a disservice to your DC b/c they aren't in daycare? (Long)

Instead of daycare (a huge expense) have you looked into a regular nursery school? Check local churches & synagogues. They are more affordable and only for a few hours and a few days a week. You would still need your family to watch DC for the rest of the day of course.

Re: SAHM's, do you sometimes feel like you are doing a disservice to your DC b/c they aren't in daycare? (Long)

I work pt and started my son in daycare at 5 months for 3 half days a week and then at17 mo for 3 full days a week. I sent him to a reputable place with
beautiful grounds and he hated it. He nearly shut down and withdrew completely. For 3 yrs he went to daycare cause we had no other choice but we cut him back as much as possible. I was so happy to get him out of there and into a preschool.

Don't get me wrong if you have the right daycare it can be wonderful for children, but I do not think it is better for them then having one to one time with Mom, Dad or Grandma... Children don't really play together socially until they are closer to 3 or even 4 sometimes.. I mean if you walk around a daycare for that age group most kids are playing solo or maybe next to someone. They often get less interaction because there is not one to one interaction with adults.

JMO

Re: SAHM's, do you sometimes feel like you are doing a disservice to your DC b/c they aren't in daycare? (Long)

I feel like this sometimes too.

And we go to 2 Gymboree classes, Music Together, Baby Salsa, playdates with lots of mommy friends with their babies, and to the park almost daily.

But I do think there are some things they learn in a "school"-like setting that they don't get from being with us.

But, I can't see sending Ale to daycare while I stay home (I work from home). Maybe next Sept. when she is 2+ I will send her to nursery school 2-3 days/week.

Re: SAHM's, do you sometimes feel like you are doing a disservice to your DC b/c they aren't in daycare? (Long)

Sometimes yes, not so much on the learning/socialization side of things, but from the persepctive that I work from home/starting a business and I can't give them the attention they want all the time. So I feel bad that I often put in a video to get some stuff done when I know they could be doing something constructive in daycare. My son goes MWF from 8:30-1 and when my business opens he will go MWF all day. DD, 19 months will start pt daycare in September. I think it will be good for her.

I personally need the outlet of work for my sanity. So for my family, partime daycare is ideal.

Re: SAHM's, do you sometimes feel like you are doing a disservice to your DC b/c they aren't in daycare? (Long)

We're trying to do the "best of both worlds", if that's at all possible. DW is a SAHM, but DS went to preschool 2x a week for 5 hours at age 3, now he is in pre-K 5x a week for 2.5 hours. He doesn't like change, so we're hoping that a gradual introduction to a school environment will help him with Kindergarten. His socialization skills have gotten tremendously better, but he also went to Gymboree, library classes, and he's in karate.
DD will most likely follow the same path.

Everyone has to make their best guess as to what is best for their child. There is no "best" route, and it varies for each child. As long as you are doing what *you* think is best, it's all good....

Re: SAHM's, do you sometimes feel like you are doing a disservice to your DC b/c they aren't in daycare? (Long)

Re: SAHM's, do you sometimes feel like you are doing a disservice to your DC b/c they aren't in daycare? (Long)

Nope....Caden will do preschool and preK at 3 & 4 but until then he will be home with me or DH.

Re: SAHM's, do you sometimes feel like you are doing a disservice to your DC b/c they aren't in daycare? (Long)

I think your care is the best care DC can ever receive. If you are doing other group activities and classes with DC, that will help with sharing, getting used to routines, etc. Honestly, I think that's enough.

By the time DC is 3, preschool may be helpful, but I'm not sure they gain that much more before that.

When I do go back to work, I would personally prefer daycare over a nanny for various reasons, but I don't think nannies or babysitters are bad for kids necessarily, I just would prefer daycare. But if you are not working, I wouldn't feel bad about caring for DC yourself.

Re: SAHM's, do you sometimes feel like you are doing a disservice to your DC b/c they aren't in daycare? (Long)

NEVER!!

I love that he is home with me. I make the time count...we go on playdates, he goes to a tumbles class..the one on one time he gets with me I cherish. My mom stayed at home and we were all great..

There are benefits to daycare. And there are benefits to a child being home. I choose the latter because for us, this works and I wouldn't have it any other way. Daycare was not for us.