School issues/home issues...LONG..I need ADVICE.

I'm losing it right now. I'm so upset.

Noah cried hysterically getting on the bus just now b/c they changed the bus driver. He is suddenly freaking out over EVERY little change.

He has SEVERE anxiety..recap is that along with a significant speech delay, some fine motor delays and sensory issues which have lessened considerably.

So He has been at Just Kids in Lindenhurst since EI, 3 days a week half day, then lastyr, 5 days a week half day and then summer 5 days a week half day.

He came so far it was like having another child. I attribute this to the teachers he had. they were young, enthusiastic and sweet, he adored them all, his therapists and all.

This year things have changed. The change into a new class with new kids has impacted him severly. He hates it, he is afraid, talks about being scared ALL day long. He doesnt like the new special ed teacher ( to be honest, I'm not too fond of her either...) she is very soft spoken, a bit older and just not very hands on, she sometimes appears anxious and he senses this I think?

So he has only been there 4 days so far and I cannot even describe how much damage it has done to the year and a half of work we did to get him to where he is now.

I dont know who to talk to about this?

I feel like the school is just not a supportive place right now, I dont want to feel that way.

So the bus driver was new this am, I was trying to talk to him and the aide was rushing him that they had more kids to pick up. WOAH lady, its a new driver, my kid has special needs and dosnt deal with change, slow down. She grabbed his arm and was pulling him , trying to rip him from my arms. I said AGAIN, please stop grabbing at him ( I also asked this of her a few times LAST WEEK)....HE will go on his own , but your making it worse, he is getting more frightened when you touch him, he needs some space.

I thought last week we had established he could sit alone on the bus, there was room. She sits him today HYSTERICAL next to a child. And he goes even more ballistic now, Begging me to help him.

So I said, remember we discussed he will be fine if he sits alone, she was basically annoyed at me now. Telling me to go, he will be fine. She forget his name, ok , Thats no big deal...but I need to know my kids is going to be at age 4 with people that , even an AIDE, care for his well being and the big picture. I felt dismissed.

So I come home and left a VM for the social worker at the school. Maybe she can help?

I feel like he needs more services. They took away his playtherapy b/c he had come so far even though I told them he was going to regress, it happened before.

Other issues we are having is his eating is getting bad again. He is losing weight, the Dr. is semi worried but has no real suggestions. ( He was getting Nutritionst services with EI b/c of the low weight and the sensory issues regarding eating...his eating eval was normal) ...and he wont use the potty anymore. He was 4 in June and is still wearing pull ups. The Dr. tells me to just put him in underwear, tell him no more. Well I did that, And i cleaned up poop and pee all over my house for WEEKS till I couldnt take it anymore.

UGH, This is long I'm sorry. I just feel like he is not getting the help he needs and I dont know where to turn?

Any advice?!??!?!

thanks for reading!

Update- The social worker called back and she was nice. She is coming by on Monday to talk and she is actually her office is, inside his classroom so she is gonna work with the teacher , and she is going to call the bus company on my behalf and address the matron issues. I feel a bit better. She also thinks he needs to and should have seen a developmental pediatrician.

Message edited 9/14/2011 1:08:02 PM.

Re: School issues/home issues...LONG..I need ADVICE.

Ugh...I'm so sorry! I'm going through something similar with DD. I was going to say call the social worker or psychologist.
I spent a great deal of time on the phone with the psychologist yesterday and got some results.
I hope the social worker returns your call and you get some help!

Re: School issues/home issues...LONG..I need ADVICE.

I wonder if it is the age too. My DS did great last year - at school and with the bus. This year, he is in the same class, same teacher, the only difference is the bus. He has been resistant since school started and has been asking for the former bus driver.

I was telling our parent trainer this and she said lots of her families have said they are having trouble this year with the bus. I am not 100% sure, but I think there are more kids on the bus this year (maybe from budget cuts) and that's why the driver always seems like he's in a rush. Last year, my DS got picked up around the same time and the driver and the matron were much more relaxed. We used to chat, all was good. So far this year, I feel like I have to watch very closely to make sure he is buckled in before they leave. The second he's buckled, they are OFF.

I would give it a little time for Noah to adjust - it can be a big transition, and we had a crazy long break since summer. Stay on top of the staff, though, squeaky wheel and all

Message edited 9/14/2011 2:27:38 PM.

Re: School issues/home issues...LONG..I need ADVICE.

Posted by dpli

I wonder if it is the age too. My DS did great last year - at school and with the bus. This year, he is in the same class, same teacher, the only difference is the bus. He has been resistant since school started and has been asking for the former bus driver.

I was telling our parent trainer this and she said lots of her families have said they are having trouble this year with the bus. I am not 100% sure, but I think there are more kids on the bus this year (maybe from budget cuts) and that's why the driver always seems like he's in a rush. Last year, my DS got picked up around the same time and the driver and the matron were much more relaxed. We used to chat, all was good. So far this year, I feel like I have to watch very closely to make sure he is buckled in before they leave. The second he's buckled, they are OFF.

I would give it a little time for Noah to adjust - it can be a big transition, and we had a crazy long break since summer. Stay on top of the staff, though, squeaky wheel and all

Re: School issues/home issues...LONG..I need ADVICE.

Happy to hear the social worker called you back and is trying to assist you with the teacher and especially the bus matron! I hope tomorrow is a better day for Noah!

Re: School issues/home issues...LONG..I need ADVICE.

Sorry you are going through this. Your DS sounds a lot like my DD. She has ADHD, sensory issues, eating issues and extreme anxiety.

She also went to Just Kids for Pre- K. I thought it was good at the time, but now that I know more, it could have been better.

The bus issue would have me livid! Maybe talk to the bus company?

Maybe you could have a meeting and ask for a different placement?

We have been to:
The McCarton Center in NYC
Dev Ped- Marcie Silverman
Ped Neurologist- Greg Rosenn
Dev Ped- LIJ
The Cody Center Stony Brook

Let me know if I can help. Good Luck. Know that you are not alone. This is not an easy life, and certainly not one that I ever expected, just talking about it helps.

Re: School issues/home issues...LONG..I need ADVICE.

Posted by avabrodymamma



Sorry you are going through this. Your DS sounds a lot like my DD. She has ADHD, sensory issues, eating issues and extreme anxiety.

She also went to Just Kids for Pre- K. I thought it was good at the time, but now that I know more, it could have been better.

The bus issue would have me livid! Maybe talk to the bus company?

Maybe you could have a meeting and ask for a different placement?

We have been to:
The McCarton Center in NYC
Dev Ped- Marcie Silverman
Ped Neurologist- Greg Rosenn
Dev Ped- LIJ
The Cody Center Stony Brook

Let me know if I can help. Good Luck. Know that you are not alone. This is not an easy life, and certainly not one that I ever expected, just talking about it helps.

Re: School issues/home issues...LONG..I need ADVICE.

Sorry, just saw your above post.

Can you ask CPSE for a meeting to air your concerns and possibly get him re-evaluated?

Maybe he would benefit from a full day program. I know that Just Kids has one, but so does the ECE in East Islip and the Kramer Center in Bayshore.

Variety in Syosset is supposed to be excellent. We are actually starting a social skills group for DD on Saturdays soon.

I totally hear you about not paying oop. It is sooooo hard to find a decent place to take your child to that takes insurance, doesn't take 6 months to get an appointment and is half way decent.

I used a Doctor at LIJ, she is a Developmental Ped. She takes insurance, but it can take a few months to get an appointment. Of all the Doctors that we have been to, she was the best.

516--802-6127

If you ever need anything, feel free to fm me, I know exactly how you feel

ETA, her name is Ruth Milanik

Message edited 9/16/2011 7:04:18 PM.

Re: School issues/home issues...LONG..I need ADVICE.

Posted by avabrodymamma

I used a Doctor at LIJ, she is a Developmental Ped. She takes insurance, but it can take a few months to get an appointment. Of all the Doctors that we have been to, she was the best.

516--802-6127

If you ever need anything, feel free to fm me, I know exactly how you feel

ETA, her name is Ruth Milanik