Second Thoughts About Circumcision

ETA: We didn't circumcise our son.



Before we got married, I agreed with DH that if we ever had a boy he would be circumcised. According to DH's religion, they have to be circumsized in order to practice. The thing is, I was not educated on circumcision at all when I agreed. Now that I've researched and watched circumcision videos, I don't want it done. I know DH will have a fit, because if its not done our son can't practice the religion, and since his family just started speaking to us again I know this will start a war. I'm wondering, should I just let this be done, and deal with it? It breaks my heart to think about my baby crying and being in pain for this

Message edited 1/21/2007 10:43:04 PM.

Re: Second Thoughts About Circumcision

I understand your fear...it is not fun watching your child go through that kind of pain. I do want to mention that if your DH is circumsised...how will your son feel if he and his daddy are not alike? I know children ask a lot of questions and they are very observant to things around them. I wonder if he may feel badly that he doesn't look like his daddy.

How does your DH feel about this?

Re: Second Thoughts About Circumcision

I hated to watch my daughter get stuck with needles in the NICU but kept telling myself she will never remember any of this...if you want to keep the piece, tell your self he won't remember anything. I don't think your in the room with him when it gets done unless your having it done outside of the hospital

Re: Second Thoughts About Circumcision

Re: Second Thoughts About Circumcision

Well I am pretty on the fence about circumcision but if it were just my decision I think I would lean more toward not having it done because it's just not necessary.
In your situation though it's not just being done for vanity, its part of DH's religion and if that's important to him then I guess I would probably let it be done. I would research the methods that can be used and choose a method that will be least painful for the baby.

Now if your DH doesn't really practice his religion but just wants to do it because its supposed to be done I guess I would take issure with that but if he truly adheres to his religious beliefs then try to come to terms with it since you agreed.

Re: Second Thoughts About Circumcision

Is it having it done at all that bothers you or the way it is done in the religious ceremony?

I am Jewish so I take what I'm saying w/ that in mind. I don't know what I'm having but intuition tells me that it's a boy. My husband and I initially had differing opinions about circumcision ... although he is Jewish too he wanted a doctor to do it ... I wanted a moyle (that's the religious officiant who performs them). After we researched it, he was convinced that an experienced moyle is probably better equipped than a doctor. The procedure they use is quick and different from that of a doctor. I'm sure I will be terrified when it is happening though.

How many months are you? Do you have time to discuss this w/ your husband w/o it being a last minute switch? You could try consulting with a Reform Rabbi to see if there is any way that your son can practice the religion w/o the circumcision, but I think that it would have to be done "symbollically" at least at some point in the future. I know someone who did not circumcize their son and when they wanted to later, the Rabbi said that he would have to at least use a pin to break the skin of the child. Since the child was already 3 years old, the couple decided against it.

Good luck with this. It must be very difficult for someone who is not familiar w/ all of this to have to deal with.

Re: Second Thoughts About Circumcision

Re: Second Thoughts About Circumcision

Re: Second Thoughts About Circumcision

My honest opinion: you should let Dh go ahead with it! It is his son and he is the one who has the same equipment so it should be his call. Not to mention that in Judaism circumsision is super important!

I had HUGE reservations about the procedure when my son was born. My DH was born in Russia, so even though he is Jewish he was never circumsised-it was forbiden to practice any kind of religion, especially Judaism, which was never ever polular in Russia. So, DH was againt circumsision and I was really apprehensive as well.

At the end, after much debates, consulting with many Jewish mommies and countless posts on every babychat room imaginable we went ahead with it. I realized that following this tradition is increadibly important! It was done by a great mohel, during a very beautiful and movign procedure. It was over super quickly and Benjamin was not in any pain anytime afterwards. In fact, he slept very peacefully most of the rest of that day. Must have been all that wine they give as an anastetic.

Message edited 8/2/2006 8:55:20 PM.

Re: Second Thoughts About Circumcision

I'm sorry, but I think every boy should be circumcized.....it's doesn't seem hygenic not to be. Plus, you'll be sparing him from being the one kid in his class that isn't!

Re: Second Thoughts About Circumcision

Re: Second Thoughts About Circumcision

I just wanted to add that yes its horrible to see your child in any pain, but they heal quickly and stop crying quicker than I thought. After it was done, he has wheeled back in and his face was red from crying, but at that time he was done. The only other time he cried was when he peed for the first time and that was it. I expected it to be much worse. Good luck with your decision!!

Message edited 8/2/2006 9:58:48 PM.

Re: Second Thoughts About Circumcision

Posted by johnsae

I'm sorry, but I think every boy should be circumcized.....it's doesn't seem hygenic not to be. Plus, you'll be sparing him from being the one kid in his class that isn't!

Re: Second Thoughts About Circumcision

since both DH and I are on board with keeping our son intact, it was an easy decision. I understand everything you are saying and can appreciate all the research you put into it, but I think you may have to give DH this one. sorry, hope it all works out.

Re: Second Thoughts About Circumcision

Posted by johnsae

I'm sorry, but I think every boy should be circumcized.....it's doesn't seem hygenic not to be. Plus, you'll be sparing him from being the one kid in his class that isn't!

Re: Second Thoughts About Circumcision

I don't understand the hygienic issue at all. Men in 3rd world countries aren't circumcised and its not like their members are rotting off....

You clean it like you would clean any other body part.

and as far as the only kid not cut in the class....who's business is it anyway? I was never in a situation where my stuff could be checked out by classmates.

Message edited 8/2/2006 11:39:49 PM.

Re: Second Thoughts About Circumcision

Re: Second Thoughts About Circumcision

Re: Second Thoughts About Circumcision

Re: Second Thoughts About Circumcision

My SIL is catholic, and my brother is Jewish. They had their son Circumcised, because it was important to my brother. My SIL was able to find a moyle...who was also a doctor...best of both worlds, and that made her comfortable enough to get it done. If you want...FM me, and I can ask her for the name/number of the person who did it.

Re: Second Thoughts About Circumcision

I am not pregnant nor do I have children. I am Jewish and have sat front and center at many a bris. No, it does not "look" like a picnic. But I assure you that the mohels who perform this procedure so hundreds if not thousands each and every year. They are skilled and trained. Many of them come from long lines of family mohels and this is all they do to make a living. Some do many every day. The procedure taakes only a few minutes and then you get bagels and stale danish.

The child is given a piece of gauze with a minimal amount of sweet wine to suck on (NOT ENOUGH TO INTOXICATE - so dont worry) to calm them down. Most of the time, the mothers do go into another room. At a week after giving birth, it is hard to imagine any surgical procedure (and yes circumcision IS surgical) being performed on a child. I don't blame a mother for feeling uneasy about it. And should G-d bless us with a son some day, as much as I would hate to think my child would be in any kind of pain, I know this is what must be done.

The truth is, the child cries not because it hurts, but because he is exposed and cold. I actually once saw a grandfather (who sits with the baby on his lap) get a lil "squirt". It was rather funny.

Message edited 8/3/2006 8:35:15 AM.

Re: Second Thoughts About Circumcision

When the baby gets circumsized you're not even there so you won't hear or see it being done. I felt really bad for him as well, not as bad as my DH though. All that I witnessed was that they came in the room for the baby and told us they will be bringing to be circumsized. Knowing when they were doing it was a little uneasy, but when he came back he was fine. Some babies don't even cry.

Re: Second Thoughts About Circumcision

I went through this, too and was secretely hoping I would just have a girl and get to avoid all this, but that's not gonna be the case. As soon as I found out it was a I started researching Mohels. I had already heard all the arguements against circumcision and, although there are many reasons not to do it, I couldn't find anything strong enough to convince me to have a "war" (which is what it would be since DH is Jewish) with DH over this issue. The more I learned about Mohels, the better I felt about having it done. As other posters have pointed out Mohels have very good techniques and, from what I have read, they do a better job than the doctors at the hospitals. Now, I'm still not looking forward to the Bris, but I feel like it is something I can live with. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Re: Second Thoughts About Circumcision

Posted by johnsae

I'm sorry, but I think every boy should be circumcized.....it's doesn't seem hygenic not to be. Plus, you'll be sparing him from being the one kid in his class that isn't!

Re: Second Thoughts About Circumcision