sharing birthday parties - your thoughts? need advice, potential drama.

for the record, I don't like them. I mean, I can see the sensibility in it, but personally, I'd rather my child have his own party instead of sharing the day. I don't know, JMO. DH feels the same way, as his birthday party always shared with his cousin. We are on same page about this.

My oldest has a birthday within a week of his second cousin. I know the mom wants to do a shared birthday party, but I'm not game.

How do I approach this?

My son wants a magician to come to our house, so I'm looking into that. I just want him to have his own special day. I want him to have his own balloons, own decorations.......own cake............ I have a feeling this may cause drama.

Advice? Thoughts?

Message edited 12/26/2011 2:37:29 PM.

Re: sharing birthday parties - your thoughts? need advice, potential drama.

I have a friend with 2 kids born like 1 day and 2 years apart..they have parties together every year so far...financially, it makes sense for the parents now and the kids are into similar things (ie. bounce U, etc.) but if it's cousins or something, I think it should be different..it's not the same as siblings, IMO

Re: sharing birthday parties - your thoughts? need advice, potential drama.

My DD and her cousin have the same birthday (5 years apart) I made it clear from day one that they will not share a birthday party. Doing just cake with family in one thing, but birthday party together will never happen. Be honest and tell them you don't want to combine parties.

Message edited 12/26/2011 3:17:18 PM.

Re: sharing birthday parties - your thoughts? need advice, potential drama.

My bro and sis are twins, so of course they shared a b-day.... however, they disliked having to share the actual party. My b-day is the month after theirs, and in the summer, so we would often have all 3 of us share a party. I also didn't like it.

DC are about 3 weeks apart, and DW and I agreed that they won't share a party, at least not with their friends. We usually have a shared family party, though, since it's a small family, and not easily to get everyone out twice in one month.

Message edited 12/26/2011 6:34:41 PM.

Re: sharing birthday parties - your thoughts? need advice, potential drama.

My children are 1 year and 19 months apart last year and this year we had a shared birthday. This year they turned 3 and 4. I know that next year will probably be the last year we will have a shared birthday party. It is just easier for us because my kids have some shared friends and it is easier on our relatives. I think I would feel differently about cousins. I would not want to do a shared birthday with a relative other than a brother or sister. Also, 5 years apart is a big difference. Children have different interests when they are 5 years apart and their friends are different ages. The entertainment would also be completely different. I don't blame you for not wanting to do it.

Re: sharing birthday parties - your thoughts? need advice, potential drama.

I think honesty is usually the best way to go.

I would tell her that I prefer my DS has his own special day. This also sets the tone for the years ahead, otherwise she may keep asking..

Its a tough spot to be in!

Re: sharing birthday parties - your thoughts? need advice, potential drama.

If theyre not siblings it seems silly imo. Im due a few days after our nephews bday and they will never have joint parties and ill tell sil that w no problem or guilt. Maybe joint cake at ils but never joint parties.

Re: sharing birthday parties - your thoughts? need advice, potential drama.

I think you should just be upfront and honest with her. Just tell her that you are not interested. The reality is the children are different ages, have different likes/dislikes and different friends. While some guests may be the same, i am sure there will be guests that are not in common.

DS is born within days of two of cousins. Before he was born one of my SILs mentioned having joint birthday parties in the future. I did not say anything then, but if it ever comes up as anything more than making a comment in passing, i will just flat out tell her that i am not interested. While it might save money or time for the guests in common, it isnt how I would envision my sons special day. The focus should be one your child.

Re: sharing birthday parties - your thoughts? need advice, potential drama.

I'm a twin so I'm don't see anything strange about sharing a birthday but since it bothers you tell her "thanks but we're doing our own thing & of course you guys are invited."

Then tell her the day & say I hope it works out. Don't plan around their date, don't expect them to plan around yours but expect that some family will be missing out on someone's birthday if it falls on the same day.

Re: sharing birthday parties - your thoughts? need advice, potential drama.

Unless they go to the same school, are in the same class and have the same friends - No, I would absolutely never even consider that! It honestly makes no sense to me!