Should I take the high road or be a you know what?

This is a friend question...
Last year when I got married, I sent a save the date to one of my good friends since I was in 4th grade. I knew he probably wouldn't be able to come because he lives in LA now, but I at least wanted to extend the invite. So I send the invite, and he never even responds, even though I had spoken to him and asked him, and he said, "Oh, I'm in the process of making arrangements to come." I was like, great! But told him to send the rsvp just because things were getting hectic and I didn't know if I would speak to him again before the wedding. Well, no rsvp, no phone call, nothing. Not even an acknowledgement that I got married when I got back from my honeymoon. He would IM me and never asked how the wedding was or anything. Whatever. So I let it go. When I told him I was pregnant, he said, "Oh, I have a baby, too, now." Only to find out he was talking about his cat. I was like, um, mine is real and human He's never asked me since the beginning of my pregnancy how I am, just emails me pictures of his stupid cat.
Well, low and behold, I get an invite to some huge engagement extravaganza (as it was stated on the invitation ) in NYC this summer because he got engaged. I feel a little like BLEEP YOU! I don't even want to rsvp. Would that be wrong? Or should I just rsvp no, and be the better person? I feel like being a snot.

Re: Should I take the high road or be a you know what?

Posted by prncssrachel

This is a friend question...
Last year when I got married, I sent a save the date to one of my good friends since I was in 4th grade. I knew he probably wouldn't be able to come because he lives in LA now, but I at least wanted to extend the invite. So I send the invite, and he never even responds, even though I had spoken to him and asked him, and he said, "Oh, I'm in the process of making arrangements to come." I was like, great! But told him to send the rsvp just because things were getting hectic and I didn't know if I would speak to him again before the wedding. Well, no rsvp, no phone call, nothing. Not even an acknowledgement that I got married when I got back from my honeymoon. He would IM me and never asked how the wedding was or anything. Whatever. So I let it go. When I told him I was pregnant, he said, "Oh, I have a baby, too, now." Only to find out he was talking about his cat. I was like, um, mine is real and human He's never asked me since the beginning of my pregnancy how I am, just emails me pictures of his stupid cat.
Well, low and behold, I get an invite to some huge engagement extravaganza (as it was stated on the invitation ) in NYC this summer because he got engaged. I feel a little like BLEEP YOU! I don't even want to rsvp. Would that be wrong? Or should I just rsvp no, and be the better person? I feel like being a snot.

Re: Should I take the high road or be a you know what?

i vote snot.

He was pretty awful.

Re: Should I take the high road or be a you know what?

This is probably the wrong answer...but, I'd be a snot.

When it was your time, he didn't have the decency to respond to yours and/or even ask about your wedding and now you since you're pregnant. Why should you have to respond to him?

This is just the way I look at it now...because I've had this done to me in the past and I'm FED up with people like this.

Re: Should I take the high road or be a you know what?

another vote for snot.
I am spiteful though

Re: Should I take the high road or be a you know what?

He's no friend. However, take the higher road, respond and decline. Obviously, no gift.

Re: Should I take the high road or be a you know what?

ew to him

I would definitely NOT RSVP. And if he calls, give him the same runaround and never RSVP.

Re: Should I take the high road or be a you know what?

I would RSVP No. It's more likely his FW is handling this and we have all been in her shoes waiting for them and that sux.

Not attending will send the message to your friend.

Message edited 5/26/2006 10:53:21 AM.

Re: Should I take the high road or be a you know what?

What a "friend" you got there, Rachel. I am sorry.
And I agree with the rest of the girls to be a snot and decline.
The whole never acknowledging your wedding and barely acknowledging your pregnancy issue is strange. It is almost like he was purposely ignoring them. Could he have been jealous, I wonder? Or is he just ignorant that way.

Re: Should I take the high road or be a you know what?

Totally jealous--I agree!

Re: Should I take the high road or be a you know what?

be a snot...he wasnt very nice to you

Re: Should I take the high road or be a you know what?

Personally, I would not respond.

Re: Should I take the high road or be a you know what?

ugh thats annoying- why would he be so cold about your pregnancy and wedding?
maybe be cause he is a guy and doesnt understand ...(no offense guys- but sometimes you dont understand!)

his fiance is the one that probably sent the inviations, not him. he probably just added your name to his list - so as for the RSVP id definitely respond- be the better person with that.

as for him as a friend he doesnt seem to put much of an effort into the friendship...i am not sure i would go out of my way to contact him again

Re: Should I take the high road or be a you know what?

Re: Should I take the high road or be a you know what?

Ok, I just talked to my sister who is also friends with him, and she agrees that I shouldn't bother rsvp-ing becuase he's been weird this past year. However, he responded to HER wedding and went to hers, so go figure. She thinks he has some issue with me being married and having a baby. What the issue is, I don't know, but to hell with him. I'm NEVER spiteful, but in this case, I don't even freaking care


ETA: He did all the invitations. (my sister spoke to him) It's a party for just his friends in NY. She is from LA.

Message edited 5/26/2006 11:03:10 AM.

Re: Should I take the high road or be a you know what?

I would RSVP and decline right away. Make it seem like you didn't even have to give it any thought - you knew right away you would not be attending.

Re: Should I take the high road or be a you know what?

SNOT all the way!!!!!!!!

Re: Should I take the high road or be a you know what?

Re: Should I take the high road or be a you know what?

Did he have feelings for you? Sounds like he may be upset you didn't marry him

I would take the high road and respond no, send no gift and cut this toxic friendship out of your life

Re: Should I take the high road or be a you know what?

Posted by Kate

I would RSVP and decline right away. Make it seem like you didn't even have to give it any thought - you knew right away you would not be attending.

Re: Should I take the high road or be a you know what?

Posted by Stacey1403

Did he have feelings for you? Sounds like he may be upset you didn't marry him

Re: Should I take the high road or be a you know what?

I wouldn't RSVP do the same he did to you.

Re: Should I take the high road or be a you know what?

Posted by Stacey1403

Did he have feelings for you? Sounds like he may be upset you didn't marry him

Re: Should I take the high road or be a you know what?

Ok, I was just explaining the situation to my friend who knows him, and she had a really good idea. She thinks I should have JT call him to respond no. Just to annoy him.

Re: Should I take the high road or be a you know what?

Posted by prncssrachel

Ok, I was just explaining the situation to my friend who knows him, and she had a really good idea. She thinks I should have JT call him to respond no. Just to annoy him.