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pharmcat2000
Mom of 2 + 1
Member since 10/05 7395 total posts
Name:
Catherine
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Shower related - why is it...
Why is it that having a shower for a second wedding seems to be okay with people, even if both bride and groom have been married before, yet having a shower for a second baby is looked down upon?
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Posted 3/2/09 9:57 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Shower related - why is it...
I think it depends upon a couple of things - 1. the length of time between baby one and baby two and 2. if the second child is a different sex than the first. I know for us, I still have all of DS things and so for baby number two - they will use DSs things. I will get some new stuff too, but frankly I don't need the big stuff because it will only be two years old. In the case of a big age difference i.e. 5 years most people will have given away their baby stuff or it is completely outdated so that people think a new baby shower is ok. I think in this economy though people want to cut back - so if your family is reluctant this might be why.
As for a second wedding, I think the same sort of rules apply. If it is a long time differnce between wedding one and two, then people are willing to go in for a shower, but if it is a short time they might not be as willing.
How many years are there between your children?
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| Posted 3/2/09 10:09 AM |
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kmac
Two under two!
Member since 5/07 3703 total posts
Name:
Kris
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Re: Shower related - why is it...
I guess b/c for a 2nd baby you probably already have most of the stuff you need? I think when people have them for a 2nd child that's many years after the first people don't usually have an issue w/ it.
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| Posted 3/2/09 10:10 AM |
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Re: Shower related - why is it...
They have something called sprinkles...it's smaller than a shower but perfect enough for mommy for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th time etc...
I had 2 babies showers, but my 2nd was DH's 1st baby. My DD's are 7 years apart.
I'm on my 4th kid and right now I have 3 girls. I think my family is itching to give me a sprinkle, especially if it's a boy.
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| Posted 3/2/09 11:43 AM |
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JsWife
His laugh, Her smile
Member since 12/06 2902 total posts
Name:
Patricia
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Re: Shower related - why is it...
Posted by kmac
I guess b/c for a 2nd baby you probably already have most of the stuff you need? I think when people have them for a 2nd child that's many years after the first people don't usually have an issue w/ it.
I agree. Quite honestly, I only believe in wedding showers for young brides who need things to start a househould. But baby showers for first time Mom's are a must (a woman doesn't typically have a changing table pad but chances are she has a set of dishes). As for second babies - I think sprinkles are more appropriate. Most of the time you know if you are planning to have more children so a sprinkle is nice to get some fresh stuff but I would assume you would hold onto the staples. If its a long time between children or if its a child with a 2nd husband/partner I think a shower would be okay. JMHO!
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| Posted 3/2/09 1:57 PM |
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Tabitha
Member since 2/07 2029 total posts
Name:
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Re: Shower related - why is it...
i think thats a really good question!!!!
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| Posted 3/2/09 2:01 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: Shower related - why is it...
maybe the first marriage was a messy one and the person didnt want to keep the stuff associated with it, ended up getting the bare basics and now wants the nice stuff again??
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| Posted 3/2/09 2:50 PM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: Shower related - why is it...
Personally, I wouldn't have a 2nd shower for baby or bridal....now if someone insisted on having a sprinkle or something, or even another small celebration, I'd go...but I wouldn't be planning either...
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| Posted 3/2/09 2:52 PM |
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pharmcat2000
Mom of 2 + 1
Member since 10/05 7395 total posts
Name:
Catherine
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Re: Shower related - why is it...
Posted by LSP2005
How many years are there between your children?
My DC will be 3 years apart. I agree, I do have the majority of the basics. But I do still need a new crib mattress (DD#1 is using the current one in her toddler bed), new bedding, and just some other stuff that I'm not real comfortable with a new baby using after it's been sitting in the garage for 2+ years (like the bassinet mattress for example).
I agree, that the view is that I already have most of what I NEED for DC#2 but I guess I'm just getting a bit sad that this baby isn't getting anything special or any kind of celebration. 
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| Posted 3/3/09 9:37 AM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Shower related - why is it...
We had a shower for both DC. We didn't look at either one as just an opportunity for free stuff. We looked at it as a way to celebrate a new child in the world. Who cares if it's #1, or #10? Doesn't every baby deserve a party?
OK, the 2nd-10th baby won't need as many big things, but the party can be just as nice, just smaller gifts.... 
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| Posted 3/3/09 10:31 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Shower related - why is it...
I NEVER have and never will understand why a 2nd shower is looked down upon, makes NO sense to me 
and I think calling it a shower vs a sprinkler is just semantics (sp)
Message edited 3/3/2009 10:36:22 AM.
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| Posted 3/3/09 10:34 AM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: Shower related - why is it...
My children are going to be just shy of 4 yrs apart..
I need new bottles, new bathtub and a new pump... everything else is in great shape...Im having another  so Im re-using DS#1's bedding...
I also need a full on wardrobe- since the kids are born in different seasons...
I agree with being a little sad... I feel like this child is getting a little bit "gipped"- no one has offered to pick up anything, or even seems to care another baby is being born
Its like there is no excitement over this baby, and for that I am sad.... (Not no excitment- but not a 1/4 of much as there was with DS- or just recently with SIL baby -also her 1st baby)
I actually told DH that I did not want a sprinkle... That id prefer another shower, when we decided to have #3- since it would be 8yrs since my 1st shower and all my gear would no longer be good...
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| Posted 3/3/09 10:43 AM |
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usuk2004
I'm ONE!
Member since 5/05 5150 total posts
Name:
Farah
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Re: Shower related - why is it...
Posted by JsWife
I agree. Quite honestly, I only believe in wedding showers for young brides who need things to start a househould. But baby showers for first time Mom's are a must (a woman doesn't typically have a changing table pad but chances are she has a set of dishes). As for second babies - I think sprinkles are more appropriate. Most of the time you know if you are planning to have more children so a sprinkle is nice to get some fresh stuff but I would assume you would hold onto the staples. If its a long time between children or if its a child with a 2nd husband/partner I think a shower would be okay. JMHO!
I agree.
I think showers for second weddings may be more accepted if either the bride or the groom was not married before.
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| Posted 3/3/09 11:13 AM |
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Re: Shower related - why is it...
IMO - I hope I don't get flamed - but I love babies so I am all for a shower for a second baby shower. I know I'm in the minority, which is fine, but I wouldn't be offended or think any less of the person. Especially since it is usually family/friends that throw the shower, not the preggo.
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| Posted 3/3/09 12:17 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: Shower related - why is it...
Posted by 05mommy09
I agree with being a little sad... I feel like this child is getting a little bit "gipped"- no one has offered to pick up anything, or even seems to care another baby is being born
Its like there is no excitement over this baby, and for that I am sad.... (Not no excitment- but not a 1/4 of much as there was with DS- or just recently with SIL baby -also her 1st baby)
Even when children are really close in age, you still need stuff for the new baby.
I completely agree with this statement. I felt the same way when I was pregnant with #2. It really bothered me when I go to that section of the baby book and I didn't have anything to put in it.
I think every baby should get some kind of celebration!
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| Posted 3/3/09 1:24 PM |
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Re: Shower related - why is it...
If I chose to have another baby I better be prepared to provide whatever he/she needs that I don't have from my previous baby.
I need about $800 worth of stuff. I registered for my own purposes. I put my EDD a few months early so they can mail me the 10% off coupon for everything off your registry. Then I will open up an account to get an extra 10% off. I know his family knows about my registry. I only put items I needed and my list is for 16 items.
Message edited 3/3/2009 1:28:52 PM.
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| Posted 3/3/09 1:25 PM |
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shellybean
Love my Baby Boy!
Member since 4/07 5191 total posts
Name:
mich
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Re: Shower related - why is it...
Hi cakes!!!!
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| Posted 3/3/09 1:52 PM |
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Re: Shower related - why is it...
Posted by shellybean
Hi cakes!!!!
hey...how's the baby
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| Posted 3/3/09 2:14 PM |
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babyfaith
Onward and Upward!
Member since 2/08 3210 total posts
Name:
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Re: Shower related - why is it...
I think a second bridal shower is frowned upon also. Showers are pretty much a one shot deal.
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| Posted 3/3/09 5:04 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: Shower related - why is it...
from what ive seen at my office, they seem to give showers even if its the second or third kid....
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| Posted 3/3/09 6:52 PM |
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