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Jessica
I'm a mommy :)
Member since 1/06 7322 total posts
Name:
~Jess~
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since most of you guys here are married....
When you were engaged, did you ever "get scared" of getting married?
Im not having ANY DOUBTS about marrying Anthony. I love him and cant wait to start the rest of my life with with.I KNOW hes the one
But Im just SCARED about the unforeseen future. What if we fall out of love? What if it just doesnt work out?
I think its bc mostly everyone i know is divorced or unhappily married
Is this natural?
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Posted 10/17/06 10:29 PM  |
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Wendy1220
LIF Adult
Member since 3/06 2004 total posts
Name:
wendy
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Re: since most of you guys here are married....
I hope it's normal because I'm not married yet but will be in less than one month and I"m crapping my pants over here!
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| Posted 10/17/06 10:30 PM |
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Shorty
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Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
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Re: since most of you guys here are married....
I'm just scared of trying to "make it" financially ....scared is an understatement.
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| Posted 10/17/06 10:31 PM |
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Phyl
R.I.P. Sweet Mia ♥
Member since 5/06 28918 total posts
Name:
The Mystical Azzhorse! ™
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Re: since most of you guys here are married....
I think it is human nature to feel this way somewhat. Did I marry thinking it wouldn't work out and I'd divorce and raise my two young DD's alone.?..not really...but it's what life had in store for me. You will be fine.
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| Posted 10/17/06 10:32 PM |
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Tine73
Member since 3/06 22093 total posts
Name:
*********
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Re: since most of you guys here are married....
Nope - I was never scared, but I don't think its weird if you do. Lots of people get freaked out - and I do think its natural.
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| Posted 10/17/06 10:33 PM |
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MegZee
My bunny
Member since 5/06 8777 total posts
Name:
Meaghan
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Re: since most of you guys here are married....
Posted by Shorty
I'm just scared of trying to "make it" financially ....scared is an understatement.
amen to that sista. We are hemmoraging $$ right now. MAKE IT STOP
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| Posted 10/17/06 10:34 PM |
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Wendy1220
LIF Adult
Member since 3/06 2004 total posts
Name:
wendy
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Re: since most of you guys here are married....
Posted by atracinact
I think it is human nature to feel this way somewhat. Did I marry thinking it wouldn't work out and I'd divorce and raise my two young DD's alone.?..not really...but it's what life had in store for me. You will be fine.
I'm not going into it thinking it won't work out, I think it's just the idea of actually being married that's freaking me out a bit. Don't get me wrong, I love him to death but it's scaring me a bit. Hopefully it will pass.
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| Posted 10/17/06 10:34 PM |
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Jessica
I'm a mommy :)
Member since 1/06 7322 total posts
Name:
~Jess~
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Re: since most of you guys here are married....
Posted by Wendy1220
I hope it's normal because I'm not married yet but will be in less than one month and I"m crapping my pants over here!
whats your liw name?
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| Posted 10/17/06 10:36 PM |
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Phyl
R.I.P. Sweet Mia ♥
Member since 5/06 28918 total posts
Name:
The Mystical Azzhorse! ™
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Re: since most of you guys here are married....
Posted by Wendy1220
Posted by atracinact
I think it is human nature to feel this way somewhat. Did I marry thinking it wouldn't work out and I'd divorce and raise my two young DD's alone.?..not really...but it's what life had in store for me. You will be fine.
I'm not going into it thinking it won't work out, I think it's just the idea of actually being married that's freaking me out a bit. Don't get me wrong, I love him to death but it's scaring me a bit. Hopefully it will pass.
I had the same type feelings...I was scared too.I was married 13 years.It's still sad it didn't work out but there were some other factors that I just couldn't rationalize anymore Those scary feelings do pass
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| Posted 10/17/06 10:38 PM |
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Wendy1220
LIF Adult
Member since 3/06 2004 total posts
Name:
wendy
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Re: since most of you guys here are married....
Posted by Jessica
Posted by Wendy1220
I hope it's normal because I'm not married yet but will be in less than one month and I"m crapping my pants over here!
whats your liw name?
same as here, I'm not creative at all. I don't post on there all that frequently though. How about you?
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| Posted 10/17/06 10:38 PM |
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Wendy1220
LIF Adult
Member since 3/06 2004 total posts
Name:
wendy
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Re: since most of you guys here are married....
Posted by atracinact
Posted by Wendy1220
Posted by atracinact
I think it is human nature to feel this way somewhat. Did I marry thinking it wouldn't work out and I'd divorce and raise my two young DD's alone.?..not really...but it's what life had in store for me. You will be fine.
I'm not going into it thinking it won't work out, I think it's just the idea of actually being married that's freaking me out a bit. Don't get me wrong, I love him to death but it's scaring me a bit. Hopefully it will pass.
I had the same type feelings...I was scared too.I was married 13 years.It's still sad it didn't work out but there were some other factors that I just couldn't rationalize anymore Those scary feelings do pass
Whew, thank you! That helps
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| Posted 10/17/06 10:38 PM |
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MrsERod
Praying for Everyone.
Member since 5/05 26170 total posts
Name:
MrsERod™®
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Re: since most of you guys here are married....
i think it's natural
its a life change....so naturally that can be scary...just take it one day at a time, and it'll be fine!
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| Posted 10/17/06 10:39 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: since most of you guys here are married....
I would say it's perfectly normal to worry about your future when taking the milestone step towards that future.
You seem to be going into this with your eyes wide open. You look around to see why you think those relationships are unhappy or didn't work out. I don't think there's a magic formula but rather a commitment to work through all of the baggage you bring with you and the stuff that gets thrown at you.
Shorty - as for the finances - I know some of my parents' fondest memories in their 41 years of marriage is when they were financially struggling with 3 kids.
Remember what makes a marriage isn't the good times, it's what happens during the bad ones.
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| Posted 10/17/06 10:40 PM |
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Jessica
I'm a mommy :)
Member since 1/06 7322 total posts
Name:
~Jess~
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Re: since most of you guys here are married....
Posted by Wendy1220
same as here, I'm not creative at all. I don't post on there all that frequently though. How about you?
jess5790
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| Posted 10/17/06 10:40 PM |
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Jessica
I'm a mommy :)
Member since 1/06 7322 total posts
Name:
~Jess~
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Re: since most of you guys here are married....
thank you atracinact,mrserod, and nrthshgrl
Message edited 10/17/2006 10:45:05 PM.
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| Posted 10/17/06 10:44 PM |
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sirk1020
*************
Member since 9/06 3046 total posts
Name:
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Re: since most of you guys here are married....
Posted by Wendy1220
I hope it's normal because I'm not married yet but will be in less than one month and I"m crapping my pants over here!
I"m getting married in 3 days, I am not really getting scared or nervous...
I actually think the unkown is kind of exciting...
will we have children, how many, where will we live, travel? Those are the things I think about now
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| Posted 10/17/06 10:49 PM |
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Phyl
R.I.P. Sweet Mia ♥
Member since 5/06 28918 total posts
Name:
The Mystical Azzhorse! ™
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Re: since most of you guys here are married....
 Congrats Jess   You'll make a beautiful bride and a fantastic wife!!
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| Posted 10/17/06 10:49 PM |
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Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
Name:
LOVE being a Mommy!
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Re: since most of you guys here are married....
Engaged and scared about what the future has in store - what about being married and having the 'scared' feeling.
I think it is very natural.
At least it was for me. About a month before I got married my uncle (through marriage) left my aunt. They were together for 23 years.
I am sure you two will be fine
But let me tell you what no one told me - marriage can sometimes be work.
DH and I are madly in love as the day we started dating and even more so since little Ali came along - but I will tell you when it comes to finances and stuff like that - it really puts the test to our marriage. But we come out stronger everytime
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| Posted 10/17/06 10:51 PM |
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Shorty
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Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
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Re: since most of you guys here are married....
Posted by nrthshgrl
Remember what makes a marriage isn't the good times, it's what happens during the bad ones.
awww Barb - you just reminded me of my sweet sweet grandma  She's very young - she was a grandmother to ME before she was 45 - and she always says that its not about the good times, its how to stick together and pull through the bad ones.
She cries every time we talk weddings because she's so excited  How cute is that?
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| Posted 10/17/06 10:54 PM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: since most of you guys here are married....
hmmmm i was a whole whirlwind of things before we got married. i had never felt so sure OR unsure of anything in my life- but then again, i had never cared so much about any ONE thing or one person so much before either.
before DH, i was Not a relationship person At ALL. i loved my independance, going out with the girls, not having any obligation to anyone- the thing is, i wasn't scared of losing any of that with marriage (DH isnt the type to hold me back from anything, and i'm not the type to be held back).... BUT, what i was afraid of was... Not giving DH and our marriage the time and work it would need. i think i actually worried more about DH than myself (did he know what he was getting into? doing all of the cooking for the rest of his life, taking pictures wearing funny hats in disneyworld, dealing with my short attention span, and jumping from thought to thought every 10 seconds... is he going to read an article one day and realize that- there are, actually, women out there that cater to their DHs every need?   
and then i'd think about myself too- like, what if, all of a sudden, brad pitt DOES realize i'm his soul mate? and even so... could i imagine being with one Foreverrrrrr.... because forever can be REALLY long if its not the right person.
but ya know what? if you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. you marry someone because you love them (obivously ) and because they're WORTH the time and effort that it takes to make a marriage work. and it IS WORK. happy relationships don't just exist- they're the product of 2 people's blood, sweat, tears, laughs, hug, kisses, compromises.. Effort. People don't go into marriage thinking that they're going to get divorced- and there ARE times when you fall out of love.... but as long as there's more times that you fall IN love, then you're okay... because thats what makes it all worth it.
it's completely normal to think about all of these things! i don't believe in the saying "don't marry the person you can live with, but the one you can't live without"... because when you're both running around a small 1 bedroom ONE BATHROOM apartment at 8am like chickens without heads, and you both need to be clean, dressed, packed and out the door in 15 mins- you want the one that you can live WITH 
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| Posted 10/18/06 12:39 AM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: since most of you guys here are married....
holy crap, that was long!
ok, i've filled my "outpouring of emotions" quota for the year
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| Posted 10/18/06 12:40 AM |
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Jessica
I'm a mommy :)
Member since 1/06 7322 total posts
Name:
~Jess~
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Re: since most of you guys here are married....
Posted by neeniebean86
holy crap, that was long!
ok, i've filled my "outpouring of emotions" quota for the year
NEENIE WHAT YOU WROTE WAS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!!!
Thank you. I loved this
"happy relationships don't just exist- they're the product of 2 people's blood, sweat, tears, laughs, hug, kisses, compromises.. Effort. "
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| Posted 10/18/06 1:21 AM |
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Kissy331
My two miracles!
Member since 5/06 17826 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: since most of you guys here are married....
Honestly I was never scared. I always felt very secure in my relationship & also secure that DH & I could make it.
I think it is normal though to be scared of all the upcoming changes. It has nothing to do with the person you are marrying more about the changes & responsibilities that come with it!
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| Posted 10/18/06 7:24 AM |
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Heather617
My Babies
Member since 5/05 2566 total posts
Name:
Heather
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Re: since most of you guys here are married....
I did not feel scared but I think that it is a natural feeling. The unknown can always be scary.
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| Posted 10/18/06 7:56 AM |
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MrsPorkChop
Twinning!!
Member since 5/05 9941 total posts
Name:
Missy
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Re: since most of you guys here are married....
jess its normal to feel like this- its a HUGE step!
i had doubts because i translated our fighting about wedding stuff into - is this how its always going to be? we fought ALOT - mostly over things our parents were annoying us about. however it was strictly weedding related.
its funny after the wedding ended, the fighting ended too - and so far its been excellent...
if you truly love him, it will work and you can get through anything
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| Posted 10/18/06 8:01 AM |
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