sister in laws

I thought that when my brother got married, his wife and I would have a nice relationship. Boy was I wrong! We only speak to each other on birthdays or holidays and when we do speak it is small talk. Anyone else have a crappy relationship with a sister in law or brother in law? What can be done to change it?

sister in laws

I dont have crappy relationships with mine but I definitely wish we were closer more like I am with my real sisters. Sometimes there's only so much you can do. If they don't want more of a relationship or arent interested then it's out of your control at that point.

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Do you guys have any similar interests? Can you invite her to do something with you? A spa day, shopping or just out for lunch?

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I am very close with my SILs, but it takes effort in both parts. Maybe suggest doing something outside if family functions to forge a bond, like lunch or coffee.

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I have a horrible relationship with mine...she is 12 years older and so insecure about her life choices...she hates me for silly unfounded reasons, I went to college, I work in education and she thinks we are overpaid with too much time off . I never bring up work around her. There are so much more but she goes out of her way to cause fights and friction...very sad but I came to terms with it and let it roll off my back now.

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I have 6 brothers and one brither in law..so lots of sister in laws. Most I am not close to, one i really dislike, and I have a couple that I just LOVE..but its because we have similar interests, and we take an interest in each others lives..I have no sisters, so I am sad that I am not closer to some of them.

sister in laws

DH has 3 sisters and my brother is married, so I have 4. I get along well with my brother's wife, we're not super close but we have a good relationships. I avoid DH's sisters. I got along with them in the beginning but once DH and I got engaged they used to flip out when we had to share holidays and stuff with my family. One said hurtful things about my brother. They've matured some, but I don't want a relationship with them after the things they said. It showed me what kind of people they were. It's hard because I hate who I am around them, but it is what it is.

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I get along w my SIL very well. She is a bit older, when I met her she went out of her way to be nice ad friendly. I was very quiet at the time. I suggest a lunch, or dinner date so you can hang out. Now our kids get along so well, makes for a nice time

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I get along welll with my sister in law. We don't see each other to often but she is a sweetheart and we get along great. We text eachother every now ans then as well.

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I get along really well with mine but it's work on both our sides.

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I'm not particularly close with mine but that's just as much my fault as theirs. I really don't make an effort either. I tend to be anti social and wrapped up in my own things. So I am of no help to you sorry!

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I love my sister in law. We dont get to spend much time together as they live in Ireland & I'm here. My DH sister on the other hand is crazy & we haven't talked to her in about 3 years.

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I tried for many years but then I realized that when SIL is not being snappy and nasty she is just plain boring. What really helped me to get over it was the realization that we we would never be friends in a million years if we were not SILs. I like a variety of friends so it's not that I just pick one type of person. if she was nice but we just had little in common I would still try.

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I have a good relationship with my one sil. The otther two are fine but, not friendships. One is in Atlanta and they are very self absorbed so we don't talk to them very often.

The other is in NJ. She has two special needs boys. They are doing excellent.. college, driving, etc. But, she is very "woe is me" and it is honestly a challange to talk to her. All she does the ENTIRE conversation is talk about how awful her life is. I think she doesn't like me so much because I won't engage her in it and tell her how great the boys are doing. Plus I am just very opposite from her and her mother and they are not the most tolerant. So whatever...

As far as changing it. It takes a lot of effort. Start with emails, phone calls and then maybe ask her to hang out. But, like someone else said, is she someone you would otherwise be friends with? If not, it may be tough.

Message edited 1/2/2013 6:46:59 AM.

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DH has 4 sisters I have a great relationship with 2 out of the 4. It really sucks, the other 2 don't like me because "I took him away from the family" which really means, "my brother is happy and he's not at my beck & call anymore" it's really sad.

They really hate that he puts me and DS before the family. How DARE HE!

Message edited 1/2/2013 1:41:45 PM.

Re: sister in laws

I had a GREAT relationship with my ex sis-in-law. I miss her. But that ship has sailed.. LOL.

With my brother's new girlfriend, I thought we would get along REALLY well because we are similar in age.. but we haven't made that connection yet.


ETA-by new, I mean they've been dating for 3 years. LOL whoops!

Message edited 1/2/2013 9:18:56 AM.

Re: sister in laws

I knew my SIL (BIL's wife) was a piece of work from the minute I met her. She's always trying to prove that she is better me and you can't really have a conversation with her without her trying to do so. DH's relationship with his brother is also not all that peachy.. its good, they are brothers and his BIL is a bit self centered so it the relationship is luke warm, and I feel my relationship with my SIL will be an extension of the relationship my DH has with his brother.

I have not made my peace with it yet, because there are some issues I need to iron out for myself and for my DD so that she can have a decent relationship with her cousins.

And as someone else said, if it wasn't for being related through marriage, we would never be friends.

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i have a terrible relationship with my BIL (and also my MIL for that matter!)
But shortly after DH and i moved in together (pre marriage or engagement) BIL came by to help out (long story but DH hurt himself and needed surgery, i could only take so long off of work and BIL was not working at the time so he offered to spend a week with us). it was my first real interaction with him (aside from a few family dinners)...well in the end, turns out he stole money from DHs wallet! i obviously have not been able to trust him since and have made no effort to really speak with him more than necessary.

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It was pretty rocky in the beginning. Its definitely so much better now, we get along really well.. even though im the farthest in age from her, out of all of us... but im also probably closer with my brother than the rest of my sisters... i cant imagine how hard it was for her to marry someone with 4 sisters... and some bitchy sisters at that lol

Message edited 1/2/2013 10:17:20 AM.

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Re: sister in laws

I've had a total of 4 sister in laws. 3 are/were my brother's wives LOL

For me they are women who love (loved) my brother. Well good for them. I have no hard feelings towards them. They are just people. Part of the family now but nothing extraordinarily special in anyway.

We get along or we dont. But we dont 'hate' eachother. I dont expect them to just love me and be buddies BECAUSE I'm their husband's sister. I'm just me.

One of them took it a little too far and assumed to be my big sister because she was older and married my brother (she was older than him too). Big mistake. You married him, not me. We had a few rough encounters but she finally figured it out and we were nice to eachother. A few bumps again when my nephew was born but we sort of worked it out, then they got divorced. Ironically we are much more courteous to eachother now!

My hubby's sister is cool. I've known her since she was in HS. So I'm a 'friend' but not a close friend. We dont hang out or anything and thats fine by me. She's so much younger anyway. We are FB friends and we share good laughs etc. She's just a friend. its good.

They are people (in my opinion) not automatically my best friends or family. They are family by marriage only.

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i have 2 SILs. One relationship is closer than the other simply because we have more in common and live closer together. She has also been in the family picture much longer.

The other is not a bad relationship, just not super close and there is nothing wrong with that. My BIL/SIL are just very different people than my husband and myself and they are at a very different stage in their lives.

sister in laws

Alcohol :O) LOL

I have one SIL, we are about 5 years apart. It took a really long time for us to bond. DH and I have been married for 12 years and SIL lives only a few towns away. We were in the small talk, see each other on holidays phase for the first several years. One night we all went out for drinks and she got a bit of a buzz on and started opening up. That was when we got more "real" with each other but we still didn't bond until recently.

We both have a dislike for our MIL so that has helped, having someone to commiserate about MIL's terrible nature. They had their girls early and we had our girls late. So even though we have been married for 12 years we really didn't start getting close until I got pregnant. She was very involved in my pregnancy and we both want our girls to be close cousins so we get together more often now so the cousins can be together.

I agree with everyone else, if she is someone worth befriending apart from just being inlaws, then pursue it. Have you tried having a heart to heart and just flat out say it... I think we should spend some time together, I would love a closer relationship with you. Then if she doesn't reach out, she isn't worth the effort.

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I only have brothers and now I have one sister in law. I tried so hard to welcome her to the family only to have everything I did shot down. As a family she took us (my parents, my grandma, my family, and my other brother) to the breaking point, and it got really emotionally ugly. My parents had a last chance conversation with my brother and since then things have gotten much better. Is it great, no, but it is better. I still hold hope that with time things will get better.

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I LOATHE one of my brother’s former wives. She’s simply a horrible human being and I don’t want anything to do with her.
I ADORE his other ex-wife. She’s got a good heart.. she and my brother get along fine and we still talk.. but we’re not close because of the divorce.

My husband’s sisters.. I used to be very close to one of them. She doesn’t like me anymore for her own reasons, but we remain friendly at family functions and such because we are both polite and decent people. I get along well with his other sister. We were never as close as I was to his older sister, but she’s a good egg.

Honestly.. as others have said.. relationships are work. It isn’t easy or standard just by virtue of a marriage certificate. You create the relationships you want by working at them! ?