Sleep Training Help, and CIO and Naps

I know that I need to start sleep training DD. We never sleep trained before but she was a great sleeper - would sleep from 7PM straight through to about 5AM. Then we went on a transatlantic vacation and jetlag screwed the whole thing up.

Now she'll still go down around 7PM (she always falls asleep on her bottle - and she's un-wakeable so I can never put her down awake), but she wakes a few times within an hour or so after she falls asleep either with gas or looking for her paci. Lately, she's been waking between 11PM - 1AM and then sometimes again between 4AM - 6AM. Sometimes I just try to soothe/rock her back to sleep and sometimes I feed her (normally I feed her on the early AM wake up), it usually depends on how tired I am, to be honest.

She is also a NIGHTMARE to put down for naps. Her first nap of the day is normally ok, the subsequent naps are always a fight. It exhausts me mentally and physically. I'm exhausted trying to help her get to sleep. We're waiting on some black-out blinds because her room is way too light and I think that's not helping anything. I have to rock her to sleep almost all the time now, and often she fights me on that too.

SO, I think we're going to try sleep training. I don't think I can handle extinction. I think Ferberizing might be what we do. My questions is, while the Ferberizing is going on a night, what do you do for naps? Do you do the same thing for naps? I feel like if I let her cry for her naps she will NEVER get any sleep.

I feel like I'm at the end of my rope here, I'd really appreciate some advice/encouragement.

ETA: She is constipated which I can't seem to solve without giving her meds and just got 2 teeth last week, not sure if she's getting any others.

Message edited 7/19/2010 8:53:10 AM.

Re: Sleep Training Help, and CIO and Naps

bump

Re: Sleep Training Help, and CIO and Naps

My guess is that the teething and constipation are what's making her so miserable.

But, STing is not for the weak of heart. Here's a brief summary of how to do it:

When you first put her down, she will protest cry. Walk out and just leave her be. Wait 5 min before going in to check on her. When you go in, your check should be no more than 1-2 min. Whether you PU/PD or just rub her belly, you are there to comfort her, but not to make her STOP crying. If you linger too long, it's counterproductive.

When you leave, start the clock (if she's crying) Check ins should be at 7, 10, 15, 20 min after that point.

There are different types of cries. The peak (screaming hysterically) or Mantra (just like it sounds) and the going to sleep whine. Only go in if she's at a PEAK cry. The mantra cry and going to sleep whine means she's working it out and you should never go in during that type of cry. Even if it's time, wait and see what happens.

I hope this helps!

ETA: Are you on BabyCenter too? There's a group there that helps with sleep. Read the first post in pink (Useful sleep info.) Here's a link: Teaching Your Baby and Toddler to Sleep board

Message edited 7/19/2010 10:27:32 AM.

Re: Sleep Training Help, and CIO and Naps

Thanks, Danielle - I'm checking out that link.

Anyone else?

Re: Sleep Training Help, and CIO and Naps

DD also fought us tooth and nail with naps. Luckily, what we have found works for her is that she can be up NO MORE than two hours at a time - usually less - so the second she yawns or rubs her eyes she gets a new diaper, her sleepsack, I rock her for a minute and sing, and she goes down in her crib. If we wait even a minute too long she cries a lot before falling asleep - if I do our routine, she might whine/fuss for a few minutes but falls asleep much more easily.

We do this (plus a more extended bedtime routine) at night as well and it works amazingly well.

Now, since your DD is a bit older than my DD, she might be able to be up longer, but you will be able to figure that out. Does she have any tired signs she gives you before naps and bed? Sometimes it could be something as simple as her eyes get a little red.

ETA: Ferber didn't work with either of my kids, but it's always good to try that first if you don't want to go right to CIO

Message edited 7/19/2010 12:06:26 PM.

Re: Sleep Training Help, and CIO and Naps

Grace - how many naps a day is Carys having? Do you thik she might need to drop to two if you're doing three? I think T dropped to 2 around the same time.

Re: Sleep Training Help, and CIO and Naps

awww sorry she's giving you such a hard time Grace. I know the feeling all too well!!!!

First off, what is her schedule like? I want the full breakdown.

Re: Sleep Training Help, and CIO and Naps

I wish my problem was that her naps are too long! The longest she's slept (nap wise) lately is 1hr 20 minutes but on average they are about 40 - 50 minutes long, which is better than the 25-30 minutes that they used to be.

Farah, she tends to only take 2 naps now. I tried to get her down for a third today because her second one was at noon (which I thought was quite early?) but she was having none of it!

Ali, her schedule, roughly, is as follows:

Wake up: this really depends. If she wakes at 4-5AM, I feed her and put her straight back down where she'll sleep until 7AM. Then we get up, breakfast, dressed, and normally she's ready for a nap again around 9AM. HOWEVER, if she wakes at 6AM for a feed, I still put her right back down (selfishly so I can sleep, although she does seem very sleepy still), and she sometimes sleeps until 8:30 or 9AM. Then we get up and do breakfast, etc. This throws off her nap schedule for the day cause she wont lie down until almost 11AM. Perhaps letting her sleep that late is a mistake, should I get her up for the day at 6AM?

After 1st nap (typically around 11AM), we play, have lunch, go for a walk, then it's nap #2 around 2-ish. this is the shorter nap of the 2, almost always. 40 minutes typically. Then she's up again, playing, walking, dinner, etc.

Today, she was up at 7, she was tired and ready for a nap again at 8:30, which she fought me a little on but I had to rock her to sleep. Her second nap was a NIGHTMARE to put her down for. I tried to put her down at about 12:30 (she seemed to be starting to get tired) but she fought me tooth and nail - I was holding her trying to soothe her and he was hitting and pushing me away. Then I put her down and she'd pull up on her knees and sing and talk and then cry. So I went back in and tried to soothe her again - this went on for ages and finally out of desperation I nursed her and she eventally settled for a 25 minute nap.

I was at the point of tears today, I feel like a big failure at this. I never wanted my child to be dependent on me to get to sleep and that's where I am. She's also seems much less interested in nursing lately too (which I can't help feeling rejected about) - she'll push me away but take a bottle no problem.

Anyways sorry that's so long, I just feel hopeless!

Re: Sleep Training Help, and CIO and Naps

I don't get on here much anymore, but wanted you to know i didn't forget and i'll answer you later tonight.

Re: Sleep Training Help, and CIO and Naps

I hope you have the chance to check out that link. There's LOTS to read, but I found it to be the most helpful advice of anything I've ever read! GL!

Re: Sleep Training Help, and CIO and Naps

okay well i went through my old posts and this was jacens schedule at her age. Keep in mind he was a mess himself at this age and didn't start sleeping longer for naps for another month or so. ETA: he was a mess because he was so overtired all the time because my inlaws didn't like to let him sleep when they watched him. Sleep begets sleep!

Well ds’s schedule is all messed up lately since he’s getting up very early the past 2 weeks (around 5:30am).

Here is his normal schedule:

6:30 wakeup and has 6-7 oz bottle

7:45 has fruit and yogurt

8:45 nap for an hour

9:45 has 6 ounce bottle

11:00 has fruit and veggie

11:45/12 naps for an hour and a half

1:30 has 6 ounce bottle

3:30 naps for 30 min to an hour

4:30 has 6 ounce bottle

5:30 has fruit/veggie

5:45pm bathtime

6:30pm bedtime


ETA: ds is 7 1/2 months old.

*I will say this, it wasn't until we let jacen CIO for naps and nighttime that his naps finally started to get longer. He also had a hard time going to sleep on his own. We used to shoosh him and rock him and it was just taking longer and longer. Then the longer it took, the more overtired he got. We then decided it had to end.

Message edited 7/20/2010 7:59:10 PM.

Re: Sleep Training Help, and CIO and Naps

Re: Sleep Training Help, and CIO and Naps

What is her night time like? does she wake up at all during the night?

what time is bedtime?

Re: Sleep Training Help, and CIO and Naps