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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: Smoking and Pregnant
Posted by KittyCat
I am sorry that I posted and I do not want to start a fight..honestly - I know this is such a touchy topic, but I look and feel as you are all my friends, and I posted for support, and reading these posts DO DO DO SOOO much help me you have no idea.
I do not want anyone to fight over this..please, it is my problem and I am dealing with it as best as possible right now.
Don't feel bad that you posted. You did something very strong, you posted looking for support and help knowing that it's a senstive topic.
Please continue to post and let us help you. This is how you work through addictions...by reaching out for support. I rather you type when you have a craving then go have a cigerette.
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Posted 1/8/06 10:50 AM |
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Long Island Weddings
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mosh913
baby boy coming spring '11
Member since 5/05 3133 total posts
Name:
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Re: Smoking and Pregnant
I wasn't going to comment at all, but after reading this I have to. My mother has four children, and she smoked through all of her pregnancies. She's not proud of it, but it was in the 70's-early 80's and more women did it. We were all born over 9 pounds. Who knows what it did to our lungs, and maybe affected other things, but not EVERY baby will be born at 2.5 pounds. I applaud her for trying to stop. It's an addiction, and honestly, I'd rather see her cut down on smoking than take the anti-anxiety meds. My doctor (gyno, and psychologis, yes, I have anxiety too) said there are no studies yet to show the affects that these meds have on babies. Recently on the news, there was a study done on taking paxil while pg, and they are finding that babies are being born with heart defects. So it's a double edged sword. Noboby is condoning it, but that's what these boards are for, to not JUDGE, but to SUPPORT.
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Posted 1/8/06 10:56 AM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: Smoking and Pregnant
Listen, I completely agree with you that she should quit. I also had quit for 6 months before becoming pregnant, then stupidly picked up a light habit again a month before I found out I was pregnant and then had to quit again, which I did. But I did it by weaning myself. That's all we are telling her to do, is to wean herself. Quitting cold turkey doesn't work for everyone. She will quit, she can do it, just like you and I did, and that's what she needs to hear.
Believe me, there is nothing worse than the guilt and shame and utter despair you feel when you realize you are pregnant and still smoking. Wacked out hormones don't make it any easier. She needs support to help her quit. There's no sugar coating going on here, it's just that we all know how very dangerous it is to smoke while pregnant, so rather than dwell on the negative, we are trying to emphasize the positive - the fact that it CAN be done.
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Posted 1/8/06 10:56 AM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name: The cure IS worse!
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Re: Smoking and Pregnant
I am going to have to agree with my dh, studdmuffin, on this one. We quit together 11 months ago! We didn't ween down, we didn't use the gum, I tried the patch for about a week but in the end, COLD TURKEY is the way to go. One thing that helped me was when I enlisted the help of a website Quitnet Is quitting hard? YES! Can it be done? YES! In fact it is done by about a million people per year. Dh and I quit, on the remote possibility that smoking was effecting our chances of getting pregnant. If quitting, just to get pregnant was enough motivation for us, then knowing you have a baby in your belly should be more than adequat to keep you from lighting up. Honestly, if this is not motivation enough for you to quit, I have no idea what will EVER work for you. There are some great and helpful ideas on this thead! One of the best, in my opinion, is the sonogram! I know that it is early and you don't have your own sono yet, but I would go to a site that has pictures of early sono's and print one of them out. Take that sono picture and put that in your pack of cigarettes knowing that its a representation of what is going on in your own body. In approach to your quit, its all about frame of mind. Tell yourself you have QUIT! (NOt that you are GOING to quit). That makes it present tense instead of future tense. There is a saying on the site I listed earlier that got me through A TON of cravings "NOPE" Nope stands for
N ot O ne P uff E ver
and its what you need to keep saying to yourself over and over again. Take quitting as a step by step process. Don't think of the long run all you need to think about is how you are going to get thru your very next craving. Once you are passed that one, focus on on how you will get thru the next one. One craving at a time, gets your thru a day...then a week, then a month and the next thing you know you are like us and are getting ready to celebrate a year.
I hope these ideas help you ASAP because its important for you to drop this habit, not only for your health but for the long run of your child. This is just the first of many sacrifices, in your life, that you are going to need to make for this child. AND IMHO, one of THE most important ones you will EVER do.
Best of luck to you!
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Posted 1/8/06 11:13 AM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: Smoking and Pregnant
Great advise Deb!
One thing that helped my quit...I counted the hours. I was so happy with myself when I got to 24 hours, then 36 hours, then 48 hours...before I knew it, a whole week went by. I didn't want to "go back" so I worked through the cravings and before I knew it, the cravings weren't so bad anymore.
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Posted 1/8/06 11:23 AM |
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MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug
Member since 5/05 11357 total posts
Name: Kathy
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Re: Smoking and Pregnant
I'm sorry, Ijust dont understand how anyone could NOT NOT NOT quit cold turkey as soon as they found out they were PG.
I've smoked for many years - as in 15-16 years. I'm not proud of it, but it was an addicition and a stupid habit I picked up when I was young.
My DH quit a year ago and I tried but I went back - just a few cigarettes a day, but still, I WAS smoking every day, even if only a few...it didn't matter, I was a smoker.
The day I got a faint BFP on my pregnancy test was the end of smoking, PERIOD. My pregnancy hadn't even been confirmed by my doctor and the pregnancy test was very faint, but in my heart I just couldnt stomach the idea of making my baby smoke a cigarette.
This little baby growing inside of me depends on ME to make all of the decisions that affects her well being and her LIFE. She is an innocent little person who didn't ask to be brought in to this world, but she was, and now it's my responsibility to take care of her. I can't imagine filling her tiny, underdeveloped lungs with smoke. The thought of it makes me sick. Literally.
Quitting smoking is never easy. I've done it before, it's a hard addiction to break. But for the sake of the LIFE of your unborn little baby, how can you NOT quit? I don't understand how someone could smoke,knowing the possibilities of what it could do to your baby. Don't you think that an unborn baby deserves a fair shot in life...and that smoking is abusing that baby? Would you blow smoke in it's face if it was here, infront of you? Would you put a cigarette to it's lips if it was already born? No, I doubt it. So HOW can anyone smoke when they are pregnant, it's just something I cannot fathom.
I wasn't going to respond to this post at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I just had to say something.
I think it's an inexcusable thing to do to the innocent little baby growing inside of you.
Message edited 1/8/2006 11:33:20 AM.
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Posted 1/8/06 11:32 AM |
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stayandjohn
Our life is complete
Member since 5/05 5909 total posts
Name: Stacey
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Re: Smoking and Pregnant
Posted by MrsJ
I'm sorry, Ijust dont understand how anyone could NOT NOT NOT quit cold turkey as soon as they found out they were PG.
I've smoked for many years - as in 15-16 years. I'm not proud of it, but it was an addicition and a stupid habit I picked up when I was young.
My DH quit a year ago and I tried but I went back - just a few cigarettes a day, but still, I WAS smoking every day, even if only a few...it didn't matter, I was a smoker.
The day I got a faint BFP on my pregnancy test was the end of smoking, PERIOD. My pregnancy hadn't even been confirmed by my doctor and the pregnancy test was very faint, but in my heart I just couldnt stomach the idea of making my baby smoke a cigarette.
This little baby growing inside of me depends on ME to make all of the decisions that affects her well being and her LIFE. She is an innocent little person who didn't ask to be brought in to this world, but she was, and now it's my responsibility to take care of her. I can't imagine filling her tiny, underdeveloped lungs with smoke. The thought of it makes me sick. Literally.
Quitting smoking is never easy. I've done it before, it's a hard addiction to break. But for the sake of the LIFE of your unborn little baby, how can you NOT quit? I don't understand how someone could smoke,knowing the possibilities of what it could do to your baby. Don't you think that an unborn baby deserves a fair shot in life...and that smoking is abusing that baby? Would you blow smoke in it's face if it was here, infront of you? Would you put a cigarette to it's lips if it was already born? No, I doubt it. So HOW can anyone smoke when they are pregnant, it's just something I cannot fathom.
I wasn't going to respond to this post at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I just had to say something.
I think it's an inexcusable thing to do to the innocent little baby growing inside of you.
I have to agree with you. I have never smoked even though I grew up in a house where both parents smoked, my father was 5 packs a day. They both quit cold turkey.....after we watched my dad take a heart attack at our dinner table. I, and this is MHO..think that smoking during pregnancy is just selfish, that baby needs all your support now and I think its utterly heartbreaking that people cannot stop a dangerous habit for 40 weeks. It sickens me that people get so upset when they see a person smoking in a car with children in it but when it comes to a baby in its mothers belly we give sympathy because the mother cant deal with stresses of life (work etc)?
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Posted 1/8/06 1:24 PM |
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casey31
Mommy of 3!
Member since 5/05 2967 total posts
Name: Mommy to two boys and a girl
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Re: Smoking and Pregnant
I hope its okay to post- I'm not on the pregnancy board yet- but I just wanted to say that there really might be other meds that are safe for anxiety while pregant. I had pretty severe anxiety (OCD type actually) about 3 years ago...I was on Effexor and it helped tremedously- it's actually an SSRI that is used for depression too but this one also helps with anxiety....I've been off of it a few months now but every doctor I spoke with said that it is safe to be on while pregnant- maybe ask your doctor about a safe medicine other than Xanax? Lot of for you....anxiety is horrible- I hope you find a way to feel better....
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Posted 1/8/06 1:51 PM |
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Re: Smoking and Pregnant
I am not pregnant but I wanted to add that wellbutrin is safe to take while pregnant. I have been on anxiety meds for over 10 years and I have discussed this topic with my doctor hundreds of times. He said that when I am ready to TTC he will wean me over to wellbutrin. I believe that wellbutrin is not only an anti anxiety med but a form of zyban which happens to be the med that people use to help them quit smoking.
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Posted 1/8/06 2:20 PM |
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waytogo
Balancing act on a highwire
Member since 5/05 1292 total posts
Name: a
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Re: Smoking and Pregnant
BTW, I think xanax is a poor medicine to be on long-term for anxiety. I think it makes it worse, expecially when stopping.
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Posted 1/8/06 5:23 PM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name: <3 Mommy <3
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Re: Smoking and Pregnant
Wow....I thought this website was here as a form of support, not to make you feel badly about yourself
She's not denying she needs to quit...and NO ONE is saying its ok for her to smoke....
Sandra your posts couldnt of said it better!!!!!!! Weaning herself down to nothing...is great... I applaud those of you who quit cold turkey...but every one is different and may not be able to succeed with that method!
I agree smoking while preg. can do a lot of harm...but I also wanna say that I know quite a few people who smoke through out there preg and had BIG perfectly healthy babies!!!!
Here if you need to talk!
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Posted 1/8/06 5:46 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name: Jennifer
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Re: Smoking and Pregnant
Posted by waytogo
BTW, I think xanax is a poor medicine to be on long-term for anxiety. I think it makes it worse, expecially when stopping.
most anti-anxiety medications shouldn't be used "long term". Any dependencey isn't good. Plus IMO xanax used long term lowers ones tolerance
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Posted 1/8/06 5:56 PM |
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Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!
Member since 5/05 12165 total posts
Name:
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Re: Smoking and Pregnant
Posted by Princessmaris
Wow....I thought this website was here as a form of support, not to make you feel badly about yourself
She's not denying she needs to quit...and NO ONE is saying its ok for her to smoke....
Sandra your posts couldnt of said it better!!!!!!! Weaning herself down to nothing...is great... I applaud those of you who quit cold turkey...but every one is different and may not be able to succeed with that method!
I agree smoking while preg. can do a lot of harm...but I also wanna say that I know quite a few people who smoke through out there preg and had BIG perfectly healthy babies!!!!
Here if you need to talk!
I have to agree with this. From first hand experience, I know that no one can make you quit smoking, by guilting you into it, yelling at you, calling you names, etc. You'll do it when you're ready.
Luckily for me I was ready when I found out I was pregnant. I have smoked two cigarettes in the past year, and yes, one of them was when I was 8 weeks pregnant and I knew exactly what I was doing. What got me through the cravings was imagining my baby on the inside getting really sad and depressed and even sick while I smoked, so I didn't. Maybe you could try that. I guess it worked for me...I've been smoke free since last January!!!!!!! Yay me!
However, my sister was pregnant at the exact same time as me and never completely gave it up. Yeah, I was disappointed (she did it with her first too), but she is an adult and felt bad enough without me piling it on. My mom smoked throughout her pregnancies and I was over 6lbs and so was my sister. My nephew and niece were 7 lbs. 2 and 6lbs 12 respectively.
Anyway, I wish you all the best and good luck!!
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Posted 1/8/06 5:58 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name: Jennifer
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Re: Smoking and Pregnant
Posted by Eireann
I have to agree with this. From first hand experience, I know that no one can make you quit smoking, by guilting you into it, yelling at you, calling you names, etc. You'll do it when you're ready.
Luckily for me I was ready when I found out I was pregnant. I have smoked two cigarettes in the past year, and yes, one of them was when I was 8 weeks pregnant and I knew exactly what I was doing. What got me through the cravings was imagining my baby on the inside getting really sad and depressed and even sick while I smoked, so I didn't. Maybe you could try that. I guess it worked for me...I've been smoke free since last January!!!!!!! Yay me!
However, my sister was pregnant at the exact same time as me and never completely gave it up. Yeah, I was disappointed (she did it with her first too), but she is an adult and felt bad enough without me piling it on. My mom smoked throughout her pregnancies and I was over 6lbs and so was my sister. My nephew and niece were 7 lbs. 2 and 6lbs 12 respectively.
Anyway, I wish you all the best and good luck!!
i agree and disagree...As someone who is on that path of ttc. This kind of thing should have been done pre-baby. But surprises happen. But regardless of guilt or not, this kind of behavior needs to stop. People of the past and present who smoke during their pregnancy and had healthy babies....well they are lucky... But that it really shouldn't even be brought up. That isn't the way to look at this scenario. SUPPORT in STOPPING should be the emphasis not "see everythign was ok when so and so did it". And i feel that anyone who doesn't give it up soon after finding out they are PG is being neglectful.
Kitty...I can completely understand what kind of position you are in, anxiety wise. I deal with it everyday. And i feel terrible for those who have to use medication to control it. IMO medication long term though isn't the answer. But to be off it now must be an stressful in and of itself. I think when you came off it knowing you were ttc, you should have started your path to no smoking as well. But would, coulda, shoulda.... I think that it is time and i am sure that you will stop. Better late than never!
Message edited 1/8/2006 6:12:58 PM.
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Posted 1/8/06 6:07 PM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name: Properly perfect™
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Re: Smoking and Pregnant
Kitty I think you know that smoking is so bad for your unborn child and I believe that because of this you will stop right away. Good luck with dealing with all the stresses of not smoking
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Posted 1/8/06 6:25 PM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name: Michele
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Re: Smoking and Pregnant
Can I just comment how stupid and unloving it is for a husband to continue to smoke after their wife is pregnant? Does he think that "I smoke outside" is okay? It is in your skin, on your hands, on your clothes? And that says nothing of the risk to your life..a child should not watch their father die because of a cigarette!! No one is saying it is okay to smoke while pregnant..of course NOT. But she is quiting and doing her best. I am SURE she knows how deadly this habit is. And I hate when people use the "my mother did XX" because parents did not use car seats when I was born, but that NEVER makes it okay to hold a baby in the car now. We learn, we progress, we do not make the same mistakes (hopefully). So I am sure she will do this...but it might take her a few days.
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Posted 1/8/06 8:45 PM |
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MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug
Member since 5/05 11357 total posts
Name: Kathy
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Re: Smoking and Pregnant
This website is a form of support but I cant sit here and lie and voice my support for something that I so strongly believe in not doing.
If anyone took offense to my post, I just want to say that it was not directed at any one person, but directed at smoking during pregnancy in general and how I personally feel about it.
I would have voice my opinion if it was drinking, smoking, drugging or anything else that is bad for you and your baby during pregnancy.
ETA: and one other thing, I am a former smoker like I said. I know first hand how difficult it is to quit. But to me, giving up smoking to make my baby healthy was the most important thing.
Message edited 1/8/2006 8:48:23 PM.
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Posted 1/8/06 8:46 PM |
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Re: Smoking and Pregnant
Ok, I have read *most* of these past responses, and I am not going to chime in or argue but simply add my 2 cents...
You and I have something more in common..
**For the people sending flames and you, also Kitty--I am not proud of this in any way shape or form, but am simply offering you PUBLIC response instead of a FM!**
When I found out that I was preggo with my son I was 11.5 weeks preggo. LITERALLY.. the day I POAS, and got my first positive. The day before that was the fourth of July, and I had attended a HUGE party, got absolutely $h!tfaced, and was smoking.. a lot.. I smoked from when I was 13, also not proud of that but those are the facts. With my pregnancy because I found out so late I was obviously able to hear the heartbeat and the moment I did I knew that I should quit,and that it woudl be tough. I will admit, I started by cutting down, and EVENTUaLLY it was down to only the super stressed buggin out moments that I downed 3 ciggarettes in a row... and didnt smoke for days.
I had talked to my dr. and I had told him that I was a smoker, and how much I smoked, and he informed me that in some cases it is actually HEALTHIER for a preggo woman to continue (in moderation) than to quit cold turkey because of the chemical dependency the preggo lady had for so many years, it would be like putting a herion addict in rehab cold turkey.. HELL. Now we are all adults and we know that there are side effects and warnings up the wazoo... but how old are we people?? Without drugs, nicotine, and alcohol, half of us wouldnt even be here. Not to mention, those of us who are in our thirties.. Our parents had us and our siblings in the late 60s and 70's.. W T F do you think your parents did????
Kitty.. I give you many props and applaud you for taking the iniative to post this and ask other women who have BTDT, whether they would like to admit ot or not.. They too had a butt when they were super stressed (after they quit).. The key is moderation.. if you can quit after you hear that beautiful little heartbeat.. than a standing O for you, and all the women that did cold turkey, and NEVER had another one.. But I will tell you it wont be easy. Good Luck and best wishes for a happy and healthy pregnancy!!!
Message edited 1/8/2006 8:53:25 PM.
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Posted 1/8/06 8:52 PM |
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NJmom
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Member since 8/05 4987 total posts
Name:
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Re: Smoking and Pregnant
just wanted to say good luck trying to quit! i'm sure it must be very hard. whether you wean yourself or go cold turkey, you're doing what's best for you and your baby. sorry you got flamed by some people, but there are people here to support you! good luck!
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Posted 1/8/06 9:08 PM |
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jea128
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Member since 5/05 3415 total posts
Name:
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Re: Smoking and Pregnant
Hey,
Just wanted to give you and good luck on quitting. I smoked before I was pregant (socially) and it was difficult to quit. I can't even imagine what it's like as a regular smoker.
I hope all works out for you!!!
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Posted 1/8/06 9:14 PM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Smoking and Pregnant
just wanted to give you and wish you luck with quitting, And with finding a way (or another medication) to deal with the anxiety. i do give you alot of credit for posting this on here. not saying that i agree with smoking while pregnant (i'm a smoker, and i completely understand the addiction ), BUT noone should make you feel like you wear a Scarlet letter for smoking though. you asked for help, not judgements- but, i guess, to each his own. I know, from reading your pregnancy posts, that it was a complete shock that was just thrown onto you, and that you weren't prepared for (as someone who was previously TTC would be) - But i'm sure that you will be Okay!! Just take it one day at a time, and hopefully you can use some of the advise that the other previous smokers had to offer. Good luck, we ARE here to help in any way that we can!
Message edited 1/8/2006 11:14:22 PM.
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Posted 1/8/06 11:13 PM |
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cantbelieveit
Love these kids!
Member since 10/05 4708 total posts
Name: Tammy
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Re: Smoking and Pregnant
Posted by michele31
Can I just comment how stupid and unloving it is for a husband to continue to smoke after their wife is pregnant? Does he think that "I smoke outside" is okay? It is in your skin, on your hands, on your clothes? And that says nothing of the risk to your life..a child should not watch their father die because of a cigarette!! No one is saying it is okay to smoke while pregnant..of course NOT. But she is quiting and doing her best. I am SURE she knows how deadly this habit is. And I hate when people use the "my mother did XX" because parents did not use car seats when I was born, but that NEVER makes it okay to hold a baby in the car now. We learn, we progress, we do not make the same mistakes (hopefully). So I am sure she will do this...but it might take her a few days.
I completely agree, however it is one thing to you yourself quit smoking, but completely another to expect or force someone else to.
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Posted 1/9/06 7:48 AM |
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LuvMy2Girls
@>---------
Member since 5/05 11165 total posts
Name: Mommy
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Re: Smoking and Pregnant
Firstly, for being so brave and willing to seek support in a public forum
I am not going to tell you to quit, but I am going to tell you DO YOUR RESEARCH on what smoking during PG, especially in the 1st trimester can do to your unborn child. A new study was released that in addition to all the birth defects, circulatory defects, smoking can cause, researchers have found that even a 1 /2 a pack a day of cigs or nicotine replacements can cause your child to have missing fingers or toes.
No one can force you to quit, and I can't believe this thread has gotten so nasty. Smoking during pg is just as bad as drinking and yes, other people can have healthy babies while smoking, and our mothers did things wayyy differently. THis day in age through research we know SO MUCH MORE than our mothers did when they were pg. Hell, we know alot more know that they did 5 years ago.
Please do the research, and don't use you haven't seen the sono yet, sorry, that sounds like an excuse to me to keep smoking, GO SEE YOUR DR and get your options, especially with the smoking, and more importantly the anxiety issues.
I applaud you for taking this first step in asking for help but as a mother to be this is your first hard step and commitment to take so your child is given the best start in life you can give him/her.
Good luck, and we are here for you throughout the whole way
Message edited 1/9/2006 10:39:38 AM.
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Posted 1/9/06 10:10 AM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name: Jennifer
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Re: Smoking and Pregnant
Posted by cantbelieveit
Posted by michele31
Can I just comment how stupid and unloving it is for a husband to continue to smoke after their wife is pregnant? Does he think that "I smoke outside" is okay? It is in your skin, on your hands, on your clothes? And that says nothing of the risk to your life..a child should not watch their father die because of a cigarette!! No one is saying it is okay to smoke while pregnant..of course NOT. But she is quiting and doing her best. I am SURE she knows how deadly this habit is. And I hate when people use the "my mother did XX" because parents did not use car seats when I was born, but that NEVER makes it okay to hold a baby in the car now. We learn, we progress, we do not make the same mistakes (hopefully). So I am sure she will do this...but it might take her a few days.
I completely agree, however it is one thing to you yourself quit smoking, but completely another to expect or force someone else to.
i understand you point but yet disagree. Parenting is just that PARENTING....a mother and a father. The smoking should be stopped by both. Second hand smoke is a reality and can also hurt the unborn child!
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Posted 1/9/06 11:07 AM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name: Michele
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Re: Smoking and Pregnant
It is true that I could never force someone to quit smoking BUT I could tell someone that they could not touch my child or be near them...and I would..I wouldn't care who it was. My daughter will NEVER go into her grandmother's car because my mom smokes in it...I mean NEVER. She must wash her hands before touching my girl.
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Posted 1/9/06 3:09 PM |
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