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BikerGrl
Merry Christmas!
Member since 5/05 2875 total posts
Name:
It's not the destination....it's the journey!
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So I have this tight group of friends.......
......and back in Oct. last year we met a girl while we were hanging out with other people. Very shortly after meeting "Mary" ......5 of us parted ways with the rest of the group.
Mary contacted 2 of us, asking to get together. She was invited along several times when we went out and came along twice. In those 2 times, I really didn't feel I had much in common with her.
PLUS......we also realized she was still getting together frequently with the group who we parted from (it was a bad parting for the most part).
Anyhow....one of my friends "Sue" continues to chat via email & occasionally on the phone with her. But 4 out of 5 of us feel like we really had no "connection".....no real desire to be Marys friend. We have all voiced our opinion to Sue, who is trying to still be friendly with her.
We found out this week she has parted ways with the other group.......
SO my dilema is this:
I just invited my group of friends out for a Saturday ride to Greenport. Sue invited Mary along before asking the rest of us.
I am bothered by this because I & the other girls have SEVERAL times said we have no real interest in her hanging out with us.
Plus she is a pretty new rider.......and I amnot comfy riding with someone who has not even been on a parkway yet
I need a "gentle" way to tell Sue that while she can ride with & be friends with whoever she wants.......it's not right to force it on the rest of us.
OR.....am I being bitchy?
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Posted 7/31/07 10:44 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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USAFmrs
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/06 796 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: So I have this tight group of friends.......
i dont think you are being bitchy-- esp if she knows she isnt really "welcomed"... maybe just casually mention it to your friend that it feels strange to have her there-- adn you dont want it to be weird... maybe she'll get it and back off???
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| Posted 7/31/07 10:45 PM |
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MrsFlatbread
Skinny jeans are in my future
Member since 6/06 10258 total posts
Name:
Baby Momma
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Re: So I have this tight group of friends.......
i think it's childish...sorry...not really bitchy
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| Posted 7/31/07 10:46 PM |
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BikerGrl
Merry Christmas!
Member since 5/05 2875 total posts
Name:
It's not the destination....it's the journey!
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Re: So I have this tight group of friends.......
Posted by USAFmrs
i dont think you are being bitchy-- esp if she knows she isnt really "welcomed"... maybe just casually mention it to your friend that it feels strange to have her there-- adn you dont want it to be weird... maybe she'll get it and back off???
That's the thing....I have actually said (and not casually....point blank stated it!!) SEVERAL times at this point that I feel not 100% comfortable around this girl. SO have the others. And she CONSTANTLY brings it up, saying we should give her a chance. So she is NOT getting it
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| Posted 7/31/07 10:48 PM |
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BikerGrl
Merry Christmas!
Member since 5/05 2875 total posts
Name:
It's not the destination....it's the journey!
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Re: So I have this tight group of friends.......
Posted by MrsFlatbread
i think it's childish...sorry...not really bitchy
That's OK!
At first I tried to get over the not "liking" this girl, which I thought was childish at the time.....but most of us have nothing in common with her that the conversation went nowhere when we were together.........it just feels weird & uncomfortable when she is around.
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| Posted 7/31/07 10:51 PM |
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MrsFlatbread
Skinny jeans are in my future
Member since 6/06 10258 total posts
Name:
Baby Momma
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Re: So I have this tight group of friends.......
Posted by ValR
Posted by MrsFlatbread
i think it's childish...sorry...not really bitchy
That's OK!
At first I tried to get over the not "liking" this girl, which I thought was childish at the time.....but most of us have nothing in common with her that the conversation went nowhere when we were together.........it just feels weird & uncomfortable when she is around.
But I think your friend is being childish too! Not sure why she is bringing the girl around when you made it clear you did not want her there. Weird.. Good luck!!!
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| Posted 7/31/07 10:53 PM |
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nyteacher13
Three Under Four!!! :-)
Member since 8/06 6405 total posts
Name:
~ THERESA ~
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Re: So I have this tight group of friends.......
And for reasons like this I'm reminded of how GLAD I am that I only have about 3 close friends that I keep in touch with.
Be honest and say what's on your mind to this person. Why should you continue to hang out with someone you don't want to be around? I have no problem with confrontation and I tend to be blunt when I have something on my mind (betcha can't tell! ) - I'd have no problem opening my mouth and settling things.
ETA: You guys did tell her what was on your mind, my bad.
I don't know then... stop hanging out with her if you're not comfy. If safety is a concern being she's a new rider, then chalk it up to that. Don't invite her out with you guys!
Message edited 7/31/2007 11:02:53 PM.
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| Posted 7/31/07 10:57 PM |
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Re: So I have this tight group of friends.......
If you feel like you never get to see "Sue" anymore without this other girl around, then you are not wrong. If you don't trust this girl, which it sounds like maybe you don't,then you are not wrong. And the fact that she is not an experienced rider would bother me also (Not that I ride but I would resent having to babysit for anyone when I am out doing what I enjoy).
Those are the reasons I could think of that would justify how you feel but other than that I have to wonder if you are being a little bit cliquey. Just an honest opinion.
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| Posted 7/31/07 10:59 PM |
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BikerGrl
Merry Christmas!
Member since 5/05 2875 total posts
Name:
It's not the destination....it's the journey!
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Re: So I have this tight group of friends.......
Posted by ssdbk
Those are the reasons I could think of that would justify how you feel but other than that I have to wonder if you are being a little bit cliquey. Just an honest opinion.
Yeah.....I guess I am .....not sure why though. Insight I wasn't expecting and I guess I have to think about that a little!
I am trying hard to be OK giving her another shot to see if maybe my first impressions were wrong.............
Thanks!
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| Posted 7/31/07 11:05 PM |
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