So MAD!! ( long vent--sorry)

So today my dh gets a call from his mother and she said I wanna see the baby more and be more involved. I am home everyday and she never calls to come over to see her. One time she said oh I am gonna come over at 1:30 and shows up at 5 and said sorry I was shopping with my sister you think she would have bought something for the baby and there was nothing. The second time was for my dh's birthday and I had his family here at our house... Well I said for everyone to come over at 1. She showed up at 4 saying SORRY i had to go food shopping. If she wanted to see the baby so much why doesnt she come more. NO she wants me to bring the baby there. Then my husband says why dont we leave her with his mother for a little one day. I just do not feel comfortable She doesnt have anything there at her house for the baby and doesnt even know what Dr. Brown bottles are and how to use them.


Sorry about this long vent but am I wrong to be mad???

Re: So MAD!! ( long vent--sorry)

I totally understand what you are going through.....my "out-laws" are the same way!! I just do my thing--if they ever want to come over, that's fine but I don't go out of my way for them.

MY SIL wanted to watch the baby over night. OK...DD is almost 8 months and she has seen her 3x. Uh....I don't think so. I told me SIL right out..."she doesn't even know who you are!" That may seem rude but when it comes to DD there's no room for beating around the bush. Maybe you should tell DH (as I did) that MIL needs to come over quite a few times so the baby will be comfortable with her & so she will understand the baby & what types of things to do with her. My SIL never started coming over more & it became a dropped issue.

Re: So MAD!! ( long vent--sorry)

No, you are not wrong to be mad. I have a friend who always says "we need to see each other more. I want my kids to know you better" Well, the phone works both ways and why is it that every time we hang out, I have to go there. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind going, but come to me once in a while too!

Re: So MAD!! ( long vent--sorry)

No you are not wrong at all. you are making the effort and she is not doing anything with it. Why on earth would you leave yoru dc with her if she cant even get to your house on time!!!

Re: So MAD!! ( long vent--sorry)

Very similar to my situation with my stepmom and stepsister. I have posted some crying posts on here about them. It is understandable to be mad, but DH keeps telling me - did you expect them to change just because you had a baby?

If she was like this before, she will always be this way

Its a sad fact.

I'm sorry!

ETA - LOOK at that gorgeous head of hair!!!!

Message edited 6/2/2007 9:08:34 PM.

Re: So MAD!! ( long vent--sorry)

You have every right to be mad.

Re: So MAD!! ( long vent--sorry)

Thanks ladies

Re: So MAD!! ( long vent--sorry)

I would get mad too...My brother NEVER sees my boys, they were supposed to come over a few times, but they are too busy cleaning all weekend...it is just the 2 of them...what do they have to clean.
Then they went to the ebach instead because it was going to rain the day they wanted...i would be mad

Re: So MAD!! ( long vent--sorry)

Ok. You DO have every right to be annoyed. But you are going to have a long road if you don't work with her a touch. I mean, you don't have to leave Cadence NOW with her, but she can mostly likely learn how to use the Dr. Brown's bottles and she did raise your DH and he survived.

Trust me, I can relate to MIL issues, I have THREE of them!

Re: So MAD!! ( long vent--sorry)

I don't think that you are wrong. A grandmother should be very involved, buying gifts, constant phone calls, visits, etc... Like my Mom.

His Mom, she is like your MIL. & I say, too bad for her! Come here, I have the baby, the baby is new, and your gonna have to get my seal of approval b4 he/she is left w/ you!!!!!

Your husband should be annoyed that his mother could basically care less!

Re: So MAD!! ( long vent--sorry)

You're not wrong at all. Being a grandmother....she should want to come over more often and spoil the baby. You have all the baby's stuff at your house...it's where you're most comfortable. My MIL tries to do this to me to...telling me that I should go to her house. Nothing is toddler proofed and he can get hurt with the amount of stuff she has lying around her apartment. You dh should be more annoyed at his mom for putting off seeing the baby to do other things like food shopping, etc. I would get the hint that she wasn't interested.

As for the response to the phone call...your dh should have told her to make more of an effort to be in her grandchild's life.

Message edited 6/3/2007 11:18:42 AM.

Re: So MAD!! ( long vent--sorry)