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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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So, my Mom wants to take action! (LONG)
After seeing this girl die this weekend in Seaford, my Mom is very fed up. Even if she comes up clean on the tox reports. Which she may. I can't say.
She called Seaford high school and talked to the principal about what they were doing to be on the offensive against this heroin problem.
He said that all the Nassau principals were lectured very recently by the police on the rising heroin problem and they planned to educate the kids during their pre-prom lecture next year. Well, my mom wasn't satisfied with that and she called the police for more information.
She first called Nassau County Police and they referred her to the 7th precinct who told her there isn't a major problem in Seaford and they can't control what goes on behind closed doors.
So she called back the Nassau County Police. She talked to someone at the Nassau county Police community services unit and he told her that only within the last 8-10 weeks did the police become aware of the MAJOR heroin problem in South East Nassau! They educated the principals a few weeks ago and plan to re-meet with them in the fall. They are available and VERY WILLING to come to PTA meetings and talk to parents about this. They want to be everywhere talking to parents.
My mom personally feels like you can talk to the kids all you want but, the parents need to be aware of this severe and localized problem. If she even had any idea that this could have been the problem with my brother, she could have found him help sooner. But who thinks that Seaford and Massapequa would have some localized heroin problem, more than other towns?
So my Mom offered to help them if they need. She can go talk to parents, as a parent who has BTDT with this stuff. I hope they use her. We are not some trashy family with drug habits. We live in a nice house in Seaford and parents need to open their eyes that drugs ARE IN thier towns and that the "good" kids are using them!
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Posted 6/23/08 4:00 PM  |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
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Me
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Re: So, my Mom wants to take action! (LONG)
I don't think it is localized in these towns in particular. I know they call Smithtown Sniff-town now because of the crack problems, and Three Village also seems to have rampant drug problems. I do think the parents need to be more aware of the issues, and possibly looking more closely for signs. Is it going on during the school day? It seems like much of it is happening at these drug parties on the weekends, and how are principals supposed to be handling that? I don't know, but I know my parents weren't letting me out at parties until 3 or 4AM.
I think part of it is denial from parents. You never want to think that your kids are doing this, so even when you see the signs, you tend to ignore it.
Message edited 6/23/2008 4:12:48 PM.
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| Posted 6/23/08 4:09 PM |
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Pumpkin1
LIF Adult
Member since 12/05 3715 total posts
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Re: So, my Mom wants to take action! (LONG)
Kudos to your mom. After reading the "tragic story" post, I called my DH and told him about it. Now, my kids are only 2 and 4 but it is an issue that we will have to deal with someday. It scares the bejesus out of me.
Honestly, I grew up in Brooklyn and just moved from Brooklyn to LI last year and I DON'T KNOW A SINGLE PERSON WHO HAS EVER DONE HEROINE!!!
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| Posted 6/23/08 4:13 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
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Beth
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Re: So, my Mom wants to take action! (LONG)
I graduated from Ward Melville and drugs were a HUGE problem back when I went there, before I went there and after I graduated
I am not sure what role the principle would play in stopping it- besides calling the police on in school drug deals- which was done - most of the drugs were done off school property- at parties- when the parents were away or not home
most schools try to keep this stuff quiet and alot of people have a "not in my town" attitude about it - but it's nothing new
Parents need to be more involved and know what's going on with there kids, what the signs are etc
but IMO most kids can hide things like this from their parents- until something really bad happens and then it's too late
ETA- I was NOT allowed to stay out past 12 or 1am - until I went to college
Message edited 6/23/2008 4:16:18 PM.
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| Posted 6/23/08 4:14 PM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: So, my Mom wants to take action! (LONG)
Posted by nov04libride
I don't think it is localized in these towns in particular. I know they call Smithtown Sniff-town now because of the crack problems, and Three Village also seems to have rampant drug problems. I do think the parents need to be more aware of the issues, and possibly looking more closely for signs. Is it going on during the school day? It seems like much of it is happening at these drug parties on the weekends, and how are principals supposed to be handling that? I don't know, but I know my parents weren't letting me out at parties until 3 or 4AM.
I think part of it is denial from parents. You never want to think that your kids are doing this, so even when you see the signs, you tend to ignore it.
Well, the Nassau County Police must have thought it was a localized problem being that they specially brought principals in to speak to them. And the schools have a responsibility to talk to these students and parents. It is their job to educate children about life. (I work in a school and education doesn't end at math. It is my job to help them understand drugs, sex and all the dangers that are in the world) There have been Studies done that show the brains of teenagers are not fully developed in the area that controls judgement. They can't make these choice on their own. THEY NEED ALL THE INFORMATION THEY CAN!! It is also the responsibility of the community (this includes the school) to protect our young people and educate their parents what to look for and what to do.
And yes, you don't want to think your brother, son, daughter is drug addict. But you don't ignore signs. We knew my brother smoked pot and drank and we talked to him about it daily. BUT you if you don't know the signs of certain drugs you don't know what to look for. It never even entered our minds that heroin could be the problem. Sure I thought he might do acid or shrooms. We discussed this and he swore he quit. We hammered pot smoking is bad into him. She grounded him, she sent him to drug counseling at a young age. We started to think he stopped. About a week before he told us he was using heroin we started to suspect something severe, Coke maybe? BUT NEVER HEROIN!
I find it pretty insulting that you place blame on the parents and families being in denial and ignoring signs. You have no idea how tough it is. When we did find out what was going on, we have trouble even getting him help. He was turned away from 2 detox programs bc he wasn't sick enough yet. Insurance turned down rehab because he hadn't relapsed yet. So when he did, they approved outpatient and when that failed, then inpatient. The Support and awareness of drug use is disgusting. It is a dirty little secret that needs to be out in the open!! No child should die of a drug overdose!!
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| Posted 6/23/08 4:25 PM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: So, my Mom wants to take action! (LONG)
Posted by Beth1210
I graduated from Ward Melville and drugs were a HUGE problem back when I went there, before I went there and after I graduated
I am not sure what role the principle would play in stopping it- besides calling the police on in school drug deals- which was done - most of the drugs were done off school property- at parties- when the parents were away or not home
most schools try to keep this stuff quiet and alot of people have a "not in my town" attitude about it - but it's nothing new
Parents need to be more involved and know what's going on with there kids, what the signs are etc
but IMO most kids can hide things like this from their parents- until something really bad happens and then it's too late
ETA- I was NOT allowed to stay out past 12 or 1am - until I went to college
Again the school can be a frontline of defense in education about the dangers of this drug that is taken lightly. And Educatiing parents about the signs to look for and how bad the problem is getting.
Drugs were a problem when I went to school but the nature of the problem is changing. Back then it was E, acid, shrooms, pot. Now Heroin. Sharing needles
 This problem is bad and it is localized and it need to come out in the open.
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| Posted 6/23/08 4:29 PM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: So, my Mom wants to take action! (LONG)
"I DON'T KNOW A SINGLE PERSON WHO HAS EVER DONE HEROINE!!! "
EXACTLY!!!
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| Posted 6/23/08 4:29 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: So, my Mom wants to take action! (LONG)
Heroin was a problem in Setauket when I was in HS- 13 years ago
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| Posted 6/23/08 4:30 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
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Me
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Re: So, my Mom wants to take action! (LONG)
Posted by sfp0701
I find it pretty insulting that you place blame on the parents and families being in denial and ignoring signs. You have no idea how tough it is. When we did find out what was going on, we have trouble even getting him help. He was turned away from 2 detox programs bc he wasn't sick enough yet. Insurance turned down rehab because he hadn't relapsed yet. So when he did, they approved outpatient and when that failed, then inpatient. The Support and awareness of drug use is disgusting. It is a dirty little secret that needs to be out in the open!! No child should die of a drug overdose!!
Sorry, I didn't mean your family in particular. I work in education, and being responsible for 300-400 students, I don't know how teachers could know as much about what is going on with their students as parents should. Principals can set up as many programs as they want to have people come to lecture about drugs and the effects of abuse, but when it's going on outside of school, I think it needs to be the parents. And it sounds like maybe there is a bigger problem with insurance not approving inpatient care, but maybe that depends on the insurance plan, because I know a coworker had her son put directly in inpatient.
And it sounds like your family did everything in their power to try to get him help, and that you all knew there was a problem.
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| Posted 6/23/08 4:31 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: So, my Mom wants to take action! (LONG)
Posted by sfp0701
Again the school can be a frontline of defense in education about the dangers of this drug that is taken lightly. And Educatiing parents about the signs to look for and how bad the problem is getting.
Drugs were a problem when I went to school but the nature of the problem is changing. Back then it was E, acid, shrooms, pot. Now Heroin. Sharing needles
This problem is bad and it is localized and it need to come out in the open.
I'm really surprised, though, that as an educator you think that schools should take more of the blame for what goes on in homes and at parties. Yes, they can disseminate information, but outside of school, I think the blame (and of course credit for the majority of students who obey the law) falls on the family.
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| Posted 6/23/08 4:34 PM |
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Epeebes
Easy Peasy!
Member since 11/07 1428 total posts
Name:
Epeebes
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Re: So, my Mom wants to take action! (LONG)
This is all really sad but very true. It can happen anywhere, even small town america, actually especially small towns. It happens when kids get bored of the same old thing.
I remember hearing of the herion epidemic in Plano, Texas when I was in Jr high and High school. all these teenage kids were dying from overdoses that like went to the same high school or something.
Its sad to hear, but it happens and attention should be brought to light. maybe if ppl see that its htting close to home, there can be something done about it.
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| Posted 6/23/08 4:34 PM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: So, my Mom wants to take action! (LONG)
Posted by nov04libride
Posted by sfp0701
I find it pretty insulting that you place blame on the parents and families being in denial and ignoring signs. You have no idea how tough it is. When we did find out what was going on, we have trouble even getting him help. He was turned away from 2 detox programs bc he wasn't sick enough yet. Insurance turned down rehab because he hadn't relapsed yet. So when he did, they approved outpatient and when that failed, then inpatient. The Support and awareness of drug use is disgusting. It is a dirty little secret that needs to be out in the open!! No child should die of a drug overdose!!
Sorry, I didn't mean your family in particular. I work in education, and being responsible for 300-400 students, I don't know how teachers could know as much about what is going on with their students as parents should. Principals can set up as many programs as they want to have people come to lecture about drugs and the effects of abuse, but when it's going on outside of school, I think it needs to be the parents. And it sounds like maybe there is a bigger problem with insurance not approving inpatient care, but maybe that depends on the insurance plan, because I know a coworker had her son put directly in inpatient.
And it sounds like your family did everything in their power to try to get him help, and that you all knew there was a problem.
That's what I'm saying. sort of. Parents need to be educated about what is really going on. It's not innocently turning a blind eye when your kids are drinking in your basement, because at least they are home, or whatever. It's knowing what is going and knowing what you are looking for. If the schools allowed the police to come talk at PTA meetings and tell the parents what is going on I think a lot of eyes will be opened.
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| Posted 6/23/08 4:34 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: So, my Mom wants to take action! (LONG)
Posted by sfp0701
"I DON'T KNOW A SINGLE PERSON WHO HAS EVER DONE HEROINE!!! "
EXACTLY!!!
and I grew up in Setuaket and I know people that ODed and people who ruined their lives over it
even a girl I played field hockey with - she was a great player
it's not like people advertise it
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| Posted 6/23/08 4:35 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: So, my Mom wants to take action! (LONG)
Posted by Beth1210
Posted by sfp0701
"I DON'T KNOW A SINGLE PERSON WHO HAS EVER DONE HEROINE!!! "
EXACTLY!!!
and I grew up in Setuaket and I know people that ODed and people who ruined their lives over it
even a girl I played field hockey with - she was a great player
it's not like people advertise it
I'm sure we all know someone who has done heroin, but as Beth said, unless you are in the circle that does the drugs, you wouldn't know until something like this happens. In my ivy league college there were tons of people doing coke and heroin all the time. And the majority kept it in check, and are lawyers, doctors, etc., and you would never know.
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| Posted 6/23/08 4:37 PM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: So, my Mom wants to take action! (LONG)
Posted by Beth1210
Posted by sfp0701
"I DON'T KNOW A SINGLE PERSON WHO HAS EVER DONE HEROINE!!! "
EXACTLY!!!
and I grew up in Setuaket and I know people that ODed and people who ruined their lives over it
even a girl I played field hockey with - she was a great player
it's not like people advertise it
But, maybe they should. Why does it have to be a secret? Talking about it will bring awareness and maybe save just one life.
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| Posted 6/23/08 4:38 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
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Beth
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Re: So, my Mom wants to take action! (LONG)
I'm sure we all know someone who has done heroin, but as Beth said, unless you are in the circle that does the drugs, you wouldn't know until something like this happens. In my ivy league college there were tons of people doing coke and heroin all the time. And the majority kept it in check, and are lawyers, doctors, etc., and you would never know.
very true- I didn't find out about the girl on my Field hockey team until a few years ago- DH ran into her at 7-11- and he asked he what she had been doing since HS
it's sad
but the truth is- it's not as uncommon as you want to believe-
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| Posted 6/23/08 4:41 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
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Marisa
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Re: So, my Mom wants to take action! (LONG)
It's not a secret.
Many of my friends and relatives are educators and administrators across LI schools and they will tell me 100x that the parents are worse to deal with than the kids ..........You can get to a kid, help them, make them understand, but when their parent INSISTS that "Not MY child ...........how DARE you insinuate MY child" well, then you can talk until your blue and it's not going to help.
I  your Mom and your family for doing everything in her/your power to help. - But I thnk your assumption that parents are completely blind to the OVERALL problem is niave. They KNOW, they just choose to ignore it b/c they don't want to think it could be THEIR kid -
Message edited 6/23/2008 4:44:06 PM.
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| Posted 6/23/08 4:42 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: So, my Mom wants to take action! (LONG)
it's not like people advertise it
But, maybe they should. Why does it have to be a secret? Talking about it will bring awareness and maybe save just one life.
I think you misunderstood what I wrote
people that do drugs don't advertise it
and schools aren't going to call attention to it- b/c it makes the school look bad - it's the truth
WM would NEVER admitt the drug problem that it has-
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| Posted 6/23/08 4:43 PM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: So, my Mom wants to take action! (LONG)
Posted by Beth1210
it's not like people advertise it
But, maybe they should. Why does it have to be a secret? Talking about it will bring awareness and maybe save just one life.
I think you misunderstood what I wrote
people that do drugs don't advertise it
and schools aren't going to call attention to it- b/c it makes the school look bad - it's the truth
WM would NEVER admitt the drug problem that it has-
It is all just so sad and frustrating. The schools would rather risk teens dying than advertise thier drug problem in thier school. It just goes to show.. it is not all about the kids. I say this all the time. It's about the money, not the kids.  
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| Posted 6/23/08 4:48 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: So, my Mom wants to take action! (LONG)
It is all just so sad and frustrating. The schools would rather risk teens dying than advertise thier drug problem in thier school. It just goes to show.. it is not all about the kids. I say this all the time. It's about the money, not the kids.
I agree with you 100%
there are alot of really messed up things that go on 
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| Posted 6/23/08 4:52 PM |
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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: So, my Mom wants to take action! (LONG)
10 yrs. ago when I graduated high school I knew people and knew of people who used heroin.
Hiding a drug problem in the community is good PR on the part of the school district. They dont want to give their district's a bad name instead of getting the community involved to stop the problem. 
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| Posted 6/23/08 5:19 PM |
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MsMBV
:P
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Re: So, my Mom wants to take action! (LONG)
I hate to say it, but both DH & I graduated from Plainedge HS in the early 90s and even then it was rampant in a BIG way. It was kept a secret from the public and somehow kept out of the media. Guns and weapons were an issue too. It amazes me sometimes how so many school districts manage to keep their squeaky clean images...
I am so sad for the families...the whole town is rocked by this. I saw several of my neighbors today with memorials for the family.
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| Posted 6/23/08 6:09 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: So, my Mom wants to take action! (LONG)
Posted by sfp0701
It is all just so sad and frustrating. The schools would rather risk teens dying than advertise thier drug problem in thier school. It just goes to show.. it is not all about the kids. I say this all the time. It's about the money, not the kids.
I think there can be outreach without advertising a problem. Districts can be more proactive before it gets to the point where they are being reactive.
But why would they want to publicize the problem? In general higher rates of drug abuse=higher rates of robbery and violence. Not exactly going to increase house value. This doesn't mean that they shouldn't do anything about it, but they can do so in a way where it isn't on the front page of Newsday.
And do you know what is frustrating for administration? All of this is good in theory, but what percentage of parents of teens attend PTA meetings? And in general, the parents who are the ones away for weekends at a time where the teens are throwing the parties will not be at these PTA meetings. How do you reach out to parents, many of whom do not go to these optional parent nights? And then some parents may say, if they are doing heroin, let's distribute clean needles, so at least there won't be dirty needles to worry about. We distribute condoms for safe sex, why not clean needles for cleaner drug abuse?
Message edited 6/23/2008 6:19:39 PM.
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| Posted 6/23/08 6:14 PM |
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Re: So, my Mom wants to take action! (LONG)
Like I said in the other thread this makes me sick to my stomach since my baby brother is in that school district.
I can't really help or offer anything but I hope they let your mom at least try to make difference! 
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| Posted 6/23/08 7:14 PM |
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JessInCA
live laugh love
Member since 8/06 5082 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: So, my Mom wants to take action! (LONG)
I wish your mother lots of luck!
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| Posted 6/23/08 7:29 PM |
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