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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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So nervous and anxious for today (memorial ceremony for stillborn baby) - UPDATED
My co-worker / friend is having a memorial service today for her dd that was stillborn at 39 weeks. I am so nervous / anxious about going. I do not know what to say to her  
Update - so I went to the service. It was heart wrenching. The baby was not there, no viewing (I was happy about that, I personally, do not know if I could have seen that )
Ashley, of course was shattered and devistated, as was her whole family. It was a wonderful service, VERY uplifting with song and prayer. At the end, I went up to Ashley, gave her a hug, cried with her and told her that there were MANY people praying for her and angel baby Kennedy. She told ME "it will be okay" through tears
I am glad I went but man, was that hard
Thanks for all the advice girls
Message edited 7/13/2008 5:25:25 PM.
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Posted 7/13/08 10:25 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: So nervous and anxious for today (memorial ceremony for stillborn baby)
omg....39 week old still born!!!!
life isn't freaking fair.
I swear until this board, I honestly did not think such things happened. I thought, 2nd trimester, in the clear.
I can't imagine what this poor girl is going through.
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| Posted 7/13/08 10:33 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: So nervous and anxious for today (memorial ceremony for stillborn baby)
Posted by Janice
I swear until this board, I honestly did not think such things happened. I thought, 2nd trimester, in the clear.
I
I know, I have heard too many of these stories If I am blessed to be pregnant again, I am going to be a nervous wreck
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| Posted 7/13/08 10:35 AM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: So nervous and anxious for today (memorial ceremony for stillborn baby)
I know - it is so hard - just hug her and tell her you love her and you're there if she needs you. There are no words that can make it better for her unfortunately.
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| Posted 7/13/08 10:37 AM |
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partyof6
b nice like u want ur kidz 2
Member since 7/06 7752 total posts
Name:
jeannine
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Re: So nervous and anxious for today (memorial ceremony for stillborn baby)
thats reallllllllllllllllllllly tough...I will pray for her.how damn unfair.
I personally dk how u can get through it..and there really isn't much u can say but just hug her.
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| Posted 7/13/08 10:38 AM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: So nervous and anxious for today (memorial ceremony for stillborn baby)
I would feel the same way you do.
There are no words. I would just give a big hug and tell her how sorry you are.
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| Posted 7/13/08 10:39 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: So nervous and anxious for today (memorial ceremony for stillborn baby)
Posted by Stefanie
I would feel the same way you do.
There are no words. I would just give a big hug and tell her how sorry you are.
I just feel like saying "i'm sorry" seems so insignificant. I will let you know how it went later
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| Posted 7/13/08 10:43 AM |
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IrishTracy
Believe!!
Member since 5/05 15167 total posts
Name:
Tracy
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Re: So nervous and anxious for today (memorial ceremony for stillborn baby)
Obviously, there are no words that will help. Just give them a big hug, give them your sympathies.
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| Posted 7/13/08 10:45 AM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: So nervous and anxious for today (memorial ceremony for stillborn baby)
Posted by stephanief
Posted by Stefanie
I would feel the same way you do.
There are no words. I would just give a big hug and tell her how sorry you are.
I just feel like saying "i'm sorry" seems so insignificant. I will let you know how it went later
I know, because everyone will be saying that. Just go for the hug then. Her mind is going to be in a million places today.
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| Posted 7/13/08 10:45 AM |
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IrishTracy
Believe!!
Member since 5/05 15167 total posts
Name:
Tracy
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Re: So nervous and anxious for today (memorial ceremony for stillborn baby)
Then tell her that you just don't know what to say. She will get what you mean. She will know it comes from the heart.
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| Posted 7/13/08 10:46 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: So nervous and anxious for today (memorial ceremony for stillborn baby)
Posted by Stefanie
Posted by stephanief
Posted by Stefanie
I would feel the same way you do.
There are no words. I would just give a big hug and tell her how sorry you are.
I just feel like saying "i'm sorry" seems so insignificant. I will let you know how it went later
I know, because everyone will be saying that. Just go for the hug then. Her mind is going to be in a million places today.
yeah, that is how I feel...after 100 "i'm sorries" , they just don't have much meaning. I will shoot for the hug and the "we are here for you if you need anything"
Thanks ladies, you are the best
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| Posted 7/13/08 10:46 AM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: So nervous and anxious for today (memorial ceremony for stillborn baby)
Posted by stephanief
Posted by Stefanie
I would feel the same way you do.
There are no words. I would just give a big hug and tell her how sorry you are.
I just feel like saying "i'm sorry" seems so insignificant. I will let you know how it went later
I don't think there IS anything you can say- and I'm sure she knows that. Just being there physically is really all you can do. Nothing you can say will comfort her- but knowing that she has your support and prayers might. You're a good friend for being there for her.
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| Posted 7/13/08 10:50 AM |
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justthe4ofus
I hate hypocrites!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6905 total posts
Name:
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Re: So nervous and anxious for today (memorial ceremony for stillborn baby)
That is hard. When it comes to a loss, especially the tragic loss of a child it's so hard, can there really be the 'right' words. I know what you mean, I am sorry doesn't seem to convey the sense of tragedy and heartache you feel for her but she will know you mean that.
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| Posted 7/13/08 10:50 AM |
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debsey75
My two best friends!
Member since 11/06 5879 total posts
Name:
Debbie
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Re: So nervous and anxious for today (memorial ceremony for stillborn baby)
I am sure just being there for her will help her a little more too.
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| Posted 7/13/08 11:03 AM |
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Re: So nervous and anxious for today (memorial ceremony for stillborn baby)
You are doing so much for her by just being there. Just offer your support, shoulder to cry on, possibly make a meal for her so she doesn't have to worry about cooking. Maybe some of the coworkers can collect money for a cleaning lady so she doesn't have to clean either. She is going to need all the rest she can get. She may not even want to contact anyone but you can check in on her every so often too.
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| Posted 7/13/08 11:05 AM |
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sunflowerjesss
Mommy to 3!
Member since 10/05 20369 total posts
Name:
Jesss, duh.
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Re: So nervous and anxious for today (memorial ceremony for stillborn baby)
Hang in there. By just attending you are being a huge support for her.
I can't even imagine what she is going through. My thoughts and prayers are with her and her family on this difficult day.
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| Posted 7/13/08 11:11 AM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: So nervous and anxious for today (memorial ceremony for stillborn baby)
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| Posted 7/13/08 11:13 AM |
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nmp070106
My girls!!
Member since 8/06 5843 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: So nervous and anxious for today (memorial ceremony for stillborn baby)
Posted by stephanief
My co-worker / friend is having a memorial service today for her dd that was stillborn at 39 weeks. I am so nervous / anxious about going. I do not know what to say to her
we had went to one back in Novemeber for the same reason and it was soooooooo hard, I did not say anything, just gave my friend a longgggggggggg hug........ it is hard to go to
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| Posted 7/13/08 11:38 AM |
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Katie111806
Team Pink!
Member since 12/06 5349 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: So nervous and anxious for today (memorial ceremony for stillborn baby)
When something similar happened to my friend going to the funeral was one of the hardest things I have ever done. There was a knot in the babys cord that went undetected and as he came down the birth canal it tightened and he died. She was 41 weeks. There are no words,none. I just held her and cried with her. It will also be tough to know what to do after the fact...follow her lead and just let her know you are there for her. I cried with her when she showed me his room, cried when she found out she was pregnant again. But I truly could never find the words to say anythig bc nothing I could say would take the pain away and that is all I wanted to do.
I'm so sorry you have to see your friend go through this and even more sorry for her and her family. May little Kennedy rest in peace.
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| Posted 7/13/08 11:54 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: So nervous and anxious for today (memorial ceremony for stillborn baby)
Posted by Katie111806
When something similar happened to my friend going to the funeral was one of the hardest things I have ever done. There was a knot in the babys cord that went undetected and as he came down the birth canal it tightened and he died. She was 41 weeks. There are no words,none. I just held her and cried with her. It will also be tough to know what to do after the fact...follow her lead and just let her know you are there for her. I cried with her when she showed me his room, cried when she found out she was pregnant again. But I truly could never find the words to say anythig bc nothing I could say would take the pain away and that is all I wanted to do.
I'm so sorry you have to see your friend go through this and even more sorry for her and her family. May little Kennedy rest in peace.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. You are a great friend
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| Posted 7/13/08 11:58 AM |
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DandN
Twins are here!
Member since 3/06 3597 total posts
Name:
Deirdre
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Re: So nervous and anxious for today (memorial ceremony for stillborn baby)
You dont forget the people who show up to support you when you are going through the most difficult time of your life. Your presence will mean everything to your friend and while "I'm sorry" might not seem adequate to convey everything you're feeling for her and her family, it's really the only thing we can say.
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| Posted 7/13/08 12:22 PM |
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puppylove
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/05 561 total posts
Name:
Summer
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Re: So nervous and anxious for today (memorial ceremony for stillborn baby)
I don't think there is anything that you can plan on saying, it will come to you when you are there with her. Besides your presence alone will mean the world to her. Simply holding her hand and giving her a hug will be what she needs most. I am very sorry for her loss.
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| Posted 7/13/08 1:22 PM |
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hbugal
Lesigh
Member since 2/07 15928 total posts
Name:
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Re: So nervous and anxious for today (memorial ceremony for stillborn baby)
Just remember her DD.....
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| Posted 7/13/08 1:26 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: So nervous and anxious for today (memorial ceremony for stillborn baby)
FM
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| Posted 7/13/08 1:54 PM |
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Re: So nervous and anxious for today (memorial ceremony for stillborn baby)
I don't have advice because I think that what everyone else said is all I could really say.
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| Posted 7/13/08 2:35 PM |
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