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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Some things never change (ETA more details)
Yep the 16 yr. old dirt bag of a brother I have- was caught by the police last night- driving around w/ vicodins, pot, and a bottle of vodka....
And all this time my mom thought he was clean- and the reasons he never went to school- is because "some kids just cant get up"
UM mom your child is STILL a drug addict- no matter how much you try to sugar coat it...
ETA- I spoke to my dad this morning and got a few details-
Apparently him and his friends were pulled over- No one was arrested or given a DUI- the police just called everyones parents and had them pick them up on the side of the road....
Why is it my husband gets a ticket for his front license plate falling off- but these stupid kids could drive around under the influence endangering many lives- AND be caught with posession- and yet NOTHING happens to them
I said to my dad- "He's a dirtbag ya know that- right?" my dad replies- he wasnt using Maris- he was clean...
Yea- ok dad- ALL his friends were using- and he was the only one that stays clean....
I checked out my brothers myspace- and there is a picture of him all messed up- with the caption "Caught with Vic's, weed, and a bottle of vodka"-
Yep but he's clean
Why are my parents so blind?
Message edited 10/8/2006 9:43:11 AM.
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Posted 10/7/06 9:52 PM  |
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skygirl
Our prayers were answered:)
Member since 6/05 4919 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Some things never change
Sorry that you have to deal with this
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| Posted 10/7/06 9:56 PM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Some things never change
oh man that stinks.
what is he addicted to?
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| Posted 10/7/06 9:57 PM |
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JTK
my 4 boys!
Member since 6/06 7396 total posts
Name:
Kristi
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Re: Some things never change
 it's tough on a family to have someone in such need of help, and to see everyone else around you pretending they don't see it. i have been there and i just want to say i feel your pain!
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| Posted 10/7/06 9:57 PM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: Some things never change
Posted by Lolita4Life
oh man that stinks.
what is he addicted to?
Welll from what we learned in the past
Coke-
but he uses everything
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| Posted 10/7/06 9:58 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Some things never change
I'm so sorry 
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| Posted 10/7/06 10:00 PM |
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ssbride05
:-)
Member since 5/05 2654 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Some things never change
I am sorry!! I hope things get better for your family soon!!
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| Posted 10/7/06 10:00 PM |
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JodiBabe
Married for 9 yrs!!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6672 total posts
Name:
Jodi
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Re: Some things never change
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| Posted 10/7/06 10:26 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: Some things never change
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| Posted 10/7/06 10:27 PM |
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nyteacher13
Three Under Four!!! :-)
Member since 8/06 6405 total posts
Name:
~ THERESA ~
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Re: Some things never change
So sorry to hear that... 
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| Posted 10/7/06 10:35 PM |
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Eva Luna
Be kind...life's hard!
Member since 8/05 4750 total posts
Name:
God, bless & heal my DH, JenG's DH Rob & DebG
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Re: Some things never change
He may be too young and selfish to seek help, but he needs it. Your mom should see for herself and help him get that.
Please try not to be so bitter for 2 reasons...he's your baby brother and will always be (he needs help, drugs are a problem, he's probably emotionally messed up) and you have a son. God forbid something like this was to ever happen to you...understanding goes a long way.
I hope you're able to release some of your resentment/anger!
I've been on the receiving end of hurt/anguish caused by drug use by a sibling. It's not ideal, but God willing he'll get better.
Sorry if I crossed a line! You just sound so angry & I think you should see how serious it is. Your brother is too young to help himself.
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| Posted 10/7/06 10:40 PM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: Some things never change
Posted by Eva Luna
He may be too young and selfish to seek help, but he needs it. Your mom should see for herself and help him get that.
Please try not to be so bitter for 2 reasons...he's your baby brother and will always be (he needs help, drugs are a problem, he's probably emotionally messed up) and you have a son. God forbid something like this was to ever happen to you...understanding goes a long way.
I hope you're able to release some of your resentment/anger!
I've been on the receiving end of hurt/anguish caused by drug use by a sibling. It's not ideal, but God willing he'll get better.
Sorry if I crossed a line! You just sound so angry & I think you should see how serious it is. Your brother is too young to help himself.
I guess you havent read some of my posts in the past-
Read them 1st and you will have a better understanding-
He has court ordered help- but it makes no difference-
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| Posted 10/7/06 10:46 PM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Some things never change
Posted by Eva Luna
He may be too young and selfish to seek help, but he needs it. Your mom should see for herself and help him get that.
Please try not to be so bitter for 2 reasons...he's your baby brother and will always be (he needs help, drugs are a problem, he's probably emotionally messed up) and you have a son. God forbid something like this was to ever happen to you...understanding goes a long way.
I hope you're able to release some of your resentment/anger!
I've been on the receiving end of hurt/anguish caused by drug use by a sibling. It's not ideal, but God willing he'll get better.
Sorry if I crossed a line! You just sound so angry & I think you should see how serious it is. Your brother is too young to help himself.
ITA, if he is an addict then he cant really help it. its the addiction that makes people do what they do.
i havent read maris' other posts, so i dont know the past.
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| Posted 10/7/06 10:49 PM |
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luvsbob4603
To a healthy 2013
Member since 5/05 21840 total posts
Name:
To a brand new year to a healthier me
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Re: Some things never change
I am sorry your family is still going through this!
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| Posted 10/7/06 10:50 PM |
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Eva Luna
Be kind...life's hard!
Member since 8/05 4750 total posts
Name:
God, bless & heal my DH, JenG's DH Rob & DebG
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Re: Some things never change
Posted by Princessmaris
I guess you havent read some of my posts in the past-
Read them 1st and you will have a better understanding-
He has court ordered help- but it makes no difference-
No, I haven't. And I'm sorry if I assumed.
He's 16. It sounds emotional...
We were lucky that my sibling got clean through religion at 18. But it was bad and nothing anyone could say would have changed anything. Faith and God helped.
But once an addict, always an addict and we deal with the topic very sensitively around here.
I hope he's able to get clean. It's a shame to waste a life.
What does your family say? I think at that age you don't care about what the courts tell you if you have emotional problems. It's hard to explain.
I wish you the best!
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| Posted 10/7/06 10:52 PM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: Some things never change
Posted by Lolita4Life
Posted by Eva Luna
He may be too young and selfish to seek help, but he needs it. Your mom should see for herself and help him get that.
Please try not to be so bitter for 2 reasons...he's your baby brother and will always be (he needs help, drugs are a problem, he's probably emotionally messed up) and you have a son. God forbid something like this was to ever happen to you...understanding goes a long way.
I hope you're able to release some of your resentment/anger!
I've been on the receiving end of hurt/anguish caused by drug use by a sibling. It's not ideal, but God willing he'll get better.
Sorry if I crossed a line! You just sound so angry & I think you should see how serious it is. Your brother is too young to help himself.
ITA, if he is an addict then he cant really help it. its the addiction that makes people do what they do.
i havent read maris' other posts, so i dont know the past.
I say addict because he uses OFTEN and to me- I dont know how you can use as often as he does and not be an addict- but he could just be using "socially"
And to give a little history-
He is beyond disrespectfully- has gone after my mother with weapons NUMEROUS times- (to the point where she has an Order of protection against him)
He has no job, dosent go to school (Highschool this is)
STOLE my mother diamond engagement ring, and is just a very bad seed-
Its not about anger and resisentment- because I cant tell you how many days we (my mother and I)sat in a court room getting him help-
He is the classic dirtbag
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| Posted 10/7/06 10:54 PM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Some things never change
all in all a horrible situation. i hope he seeks help before something completely tragic happens. he is so young, and it sucks you all have to go through this.
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| Posted 10/7/06 10:58 PM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: Some things never change
Posted by Eva Luna
Posted by Princessmaris
I guess you havent read some of my posts in the past-
Read them 1st and you will have a better understanding-
He has court ordered help- but it makes no difference-
No, I haven't. And I'm sorry if I assumed.
He's 16. It sounds emotional...
We were lucky that my sibling got clean through religion at 18. But it was bad and nothing anyone could say would have changed anything. Faith and God helped.
But once an addict, always an addict and we deal with the topic very sensitively around here.
I hope he's able to get clean. It's a shame to waste a life.
What does your family say? I think at that age you don't care about what the courts tell you if you have emotional problems. It's hard to explain.
I wish you the best!
I will say we grew up in a very religious home- but in the past few years (in his defense) it could not be easy living in that house...
(Backround- Dad was sent to Iraq for 10 months- Mom is serverly depressed and their marriage is beyond falling apart)
Part of his "probation" is he has to go to couseling weekly- but truthfully IMO- that whole court program he was in, is not filled with people who genuinely want to help-
IMO- its just something they do to shut parents up- there is no random drug testing- and the counseling isnt doing anything
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| Posted 10/7/06 10:59 PM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: Some things never change
Can someone tell me why is it that a 16 year old can be caught under the influence w/ posession and not be arrested???
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| Posted 10/7/06 11:00 PM |
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Eva Luna
Be kind...life's hard!
Member since 8/05 4750 total posts
Name:
God, bless & heal my DH, JenG's DH Rob & DebG
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Re: Some things never change
I'm sorry!!
I can tell you that I understand. And he sounds like a classic addict.
My mom was never disrespected, but I was.
Money was stolen, jewelry was pawned, school was abandoned, coke became friend #1. What's a job? There was no job.
It was horrible and incredible b/c my sibling was just the most caring individual before.
But it was started because of bad company and then became completely emotional...hate towards self and family.
Calling him names isn't going help him. I wish there was a magic answer. People get clean for many reasons. He doesn't see the reason for him right now. He probably hates all of you.
But it's not too late. And the material things can be replaced. He can't. It's the hardest thing ever and I'm sorry.
I was there. I'll keep him in my prayers...I hope he's able to get out of that life!!
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| Posted 10/7/06 11:00 PM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Some things never change
has he been going to the couseling that you know of?
they should DEF do random drug tests, whats wrong with them?
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| Posted 10/7/06 11:00 PM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Some things never change
Posted by Princessmaris
Can someone tell me why is it that a 16 year old can be caught under the influence w/ posession and not be arrested???
omg! i assumed he was!
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| Posted 10/7/06 11:01 PM |
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Eva Luna
Be kind...life's hard!
Member since 8/05 4750 total posts
Name:
God, bless & heal my DH, JenG's DH Rob & DebG
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Re: Some things never change
Posted by Princessmaris
Posted by Eva Luna
Posted by Princessmaris
I guess you havent read some of my posts in the past-
Read them 1st and you will have a better understanding-
He has court ordered help- but it makes no difference-
No, I haven't. And I'm sorry if I assumed.
He's 16. It sounds emotional...
We were lucky that my sibling got clean through religion at 18. But it was bad and nothing anyone could say would have changed anything. Faith and God helped.
But once an addict, always an addict and we deal with the topic very sensitively around here.
I hope he's able to get clean. It's a shame to waste a life.
What does your family say? I think at that age you don't care about what the courts tell you if you have emotional problems. It's hard to explain.
I wish you the best!
I will say we grew up in a very religious home- but in the past few years (in his defense) it could not be easy living in that house...
(Backround- Dad was sent to Iraq for 10 months- Mom is serverly depressed and their marriage is beyond falling apart)
Part of his "probation" is he has to go to couseling weekly- but truthfully IMO- that whole court program he was in, is not filled with people who genuinely want to help-
IMO- its just something they do to shut parents up- there is no random drug testing- and the counseling isnt doing anything
See, without reading your past posts, I know that it's emotional. Not everyone is as strong as you. I used to resent my sibling for doing so much harm to our family...but I realized that it was weakness...I turned out different because I wasn't weak.
Your brother is. He's depressed. He's resentful. He doesn't know how to deal with it. Drugs are so easy to escape to.
He needs real help. Not court mandated...but real counseling, your mom needs help too. He's angry at her and your dad and this is his way of "showing them"...
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| Posted 10/7/06 11:03 PM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: Some things never change
Posted by Lolita4Life
has he been going to the couseling that you know of?
they should DEF do random drug tests, whats wrong with them?
Yea- he has to go every week-
its part of this "program"
but there is no random testing- just the weekly one before meeting with the judge every week- He isnt stupid he knows how long "Stuff" stays in your system and how to get it out if need be....
And nope- not arrested- just brought home by the cops!
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| Posted 10/7/06 11:04 PM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: Some things never change
Posted by Eva Luna
Posted by Princessmaris
Posted by Eva Luna
Posted by Princessmaris
I guess you havent read some of my posts in the past-
Read them 1st and you will have a better understanding-
He has court ordered help- but it makes no difference-
No, I haven't. And I'm sorry if I assumed.
He's 16. It sounds emotional...
We were lucky that my sibling got clean through religion at 18. But it was bad and nothing anyone could say would have changed anything. Faith and God helped.
But once an addict, always an addict and we deal with the topic very sensitively around here.
I hope he's able to get clean. It's a shame to waste a life.
What does your family say? I think at that age you don't care about what the courts tell you if you have emotional problems. It's hard to explain.
I wish you the best!
I will say we grew up in a very religious home- but in the past few years (in his defense) it could not be easy living in that house...
(Backround- Dad was sent to Iraq for 10 months- Mom is serverly depressed and their marriage is beyond falling apart)
Part of his "probation" is he has to go to couseling weekly- but truthfully IMO- that whole court program he was in, is not filled with people who genuinely want to help-
IMO- its just something they do to shut parents up- there is no random drug testing- and the counseling isnt doing anything
See, without reading your past posts, I know that it's emotional. Not everyone is as strong as you. I used to resent my sibling for doing so much harm to our family...but I realized that it was weakness...I turned out different because I wasn't weak.
Your brother is. He's depressed. He's resentful. He doesn't know how to deal with it. Drugs are so easy to escape to.
He needs real help. Not court mandated...but real counseling, your mom needs help too. He's angry at her and your dad and this is his way of "showing them"...
Well- you cant make him get it- if he dosent want it... He has rights (or so says the courts)
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| Posted 10/7/06 11:06 PM |
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