Someone please tell me I'm overreacting!

I am so angry...and not speaking to DH at the moment!

So my family (my sister, 3 kids, DH), my brother (2 kids, DW) and my mom (and younger sister) all came over yesterday because "the men" were doing stuff around the house. My BIL, brother and DH painted my kitchen, pressure washed the deck and painted it (stained it) and true to form everyone came over.

Fine, I was ecstatic with the results and everyone left around 9pm to watch the Camacho Jr. fight (my mom made his clothes) and DH and I stood in. My BIL and brother left their cars in our garage (both have big pick up trucks) and went in their wives cars.

Today I woke up ready to go to Target to buy a grill and some things (DH's fam comes in 2 weeks and the house is NOT ready).

When I go around to my new car (like a week old!) and notice a HUGE scratch on the side bumper...on the driver's side, near the side/back of the bumper...2 lines where the paint was completely scratched off...all you see is black underneath.

I instantly felt like crying and yelled at DH (he parked it behind his precious Pilot and at an angle so the bumper WAS sticking out) and he said it was probably someone from my family when they left since there were so many cars here. I was livid so I snapped and asked him why the fvk he used MY car yesterday to run errands and moved it from its spot if he has a car...and he said to "get over it because those things had to be done" referring to the trips out of the house in order for my brother and BIL to work.

I called my sister and asked...in a super angry voice but trying to remain as calm as possible...if anyone noticed that they scratched my car when they left. She said to ask my brother because he's the one that picked up the car.

So I called my brother and his wife picked up. I asked why they didn't ring the bell since I had some of their stuff here from yesterday and she said they didn't want to bother...they just came to get the cars (hmm, they live like 1/2 an hour away and it was 1:30pm ) so then I asked if she noticed that they scratched my car and she totally said no...refused to take any accountability...said there was no way they did that...and that was it. I was so angry I just said "OK, whatever, well, my car's scratched and the bumper has to be painted, that doesn't change...thanks though" and hung up.

I went to sleep since I was so angry...and just woke up and am still fuming.

What is wrong with me? Why can't I let go? And what is wrong with my family? Why can't they at least acknowledge that there is a possibility that they could have scratched my car. I'm not looking for any money...they're family and worked for free...I just want someone to take the responsibility for it. Not to be so careless and act like nothing happened.

Sorry for the novel...I'm p!ssed...and writing helps.

Can someone tell me something, please?

Re: Someone please tell me I'm overreacting!

Sasha

I know you're ****** and I have had that exact thing happen. Yes, it's annoying that nobody is taking responsibility, but maybe whoever did it didn't realize they did it. I know that sounds lame and maybe I'm letting them off the hook easy, but I've done it and didn't know it.

The car will get fixed and in the grand scheme of things, it's not really a big deal. It's your new car and you wanted it to stay new as long as possible and you have every right to be annoyed by it and mad at whomever did it.

Try to let it go..maybe as days go by you will be less and less angry. Maybe someone will come forward.

Take a deep breath and realize that sh*t happens sometimes and its out of our control..

I know this is probably not what you wanted to hear and I wish I could be more helpful.

I will beat up whoever damaged your car..when you figure out who that is..

Message edited 6/11/2006 7:22:50 PM.

Re: Someone please tell me I'm overreacting!

You're right Susan...not really what I wanted to hear. I'm usually really level headed, but for some reason am so angry. I still feel my heart beating really fast. My damn temper!

I guess as time passes I'll think of it less...but I don't even want to drive my car tomorrow because I know I'm going to get p!ssed when I see it again!!

Re: Someone please tell me I'm overreacting!

Is it possible it happened while your DH had it out - maybe in a parking lot or something?

Re: Someone please tell me I'm overreacting!

Anything is possible...but no one is coming forward - not my DH, not my family. This is what has me so fvking angry. And pardon my french, but I am LIVID!! The only reason why I jumped to the conclusion that it was my family is because my car was at an angle...and the side that was sticking out was the side that was hit. And the pick up truck is HUGE.

I think there is something wrong with me!!

I know it's just a scratch. And if my car wasn't new I wouldn't care so much, I guess. But why is NO ONE ELSE CARING?!

If I didn't feel like absolute sh!t and had something to drink...I would finish a whole bottle of vodka and cranberry jiuce!

Re: Someone please tell me I'm overreacting!

I completely understand your anger, but to prevent this situation from further escalating, I would, if necessary, apologize to your sister (or sil). It sounds like you might have snapped at them out of anger when they might have nothing to do with them.

Re: Someone please tell me I'm overreacting!

Hmmm, no...not apologizing..sorry!

I am WAY TOO ANGRY to call anyone right now.

Maybe in a week.

Again, I am not myself...I think there *is* something wrong with me.

Oh well.

And I was accusatory, but my tone was normal...and I think I have a right to be angry. Or at least that's what I tell myself.

Yeah...see, can't even laugh! I think I'm going to go downstairs and make DH clean out the garage.

Re: Someone please tell me I'm overreacting!

I too would be as livid as you are for 2 reasons.

First the car is brand new. Second no matter who did it, the point is no one owned up to it. If someone would just admit it, then I am sure you would feel 99% better.

Hopefully you will get some answers soon.

Re: Someone please tell me I'm overreacting!

I would be livid too especially since that's your baby right there.

sorry Amiga, breathe in, breathe out.

Re: Someone please tell me I'm overreacting!

well, since none of them will come forward, then you'll just have to take a key to each of their cars i guess. Too bad, so sad.

sorry chickity

Re: Someone please tell me I'm overreacting!

Thank you Heather!! You know...even if it was an accident and no one realizes that they did it, I guess I want to hear "damn, that really svks, sorry that happened" but instead I got "wasn't me, tough sh!t" No sympathy...no that's terrible...nothing other than "too bad".

Re: Someone please tell me I'm overreacting!

Posted by neeniebean86

well, since none of them will come forward, then you'll just have to take a key to each of their cars i guess. Too bad, so sad.

sorry chickity

Re: Someone please tell me I'm overreacting!

I think it would make me more angry that one cared- or said Oh I didn't noticed- but that svcks I'm sorry

Re: Someone please tell me I'm overreacting!

It totally ***** that that happened to your car. I would have been really upset and raging too . But.....I think you were wrong to speak to your SIL like that....I know I would be upset if my SIL spoke to me like that. JMHO I agree with Beth though...they should have said something about that happening to your car.

Re: Someone please tell me I'm overreacting!

Liz...I was wrong to ask "did you guys happen to notice anything when you left the garage because my car was scratched?" I don't think I was wrong...my brother has zero tact and it if it would have been the other way around, he wouldn't have been so calm. And I still don't get why she didn't say "oh, that does svk, sorry that happened...it wasn't us though"...maybe I just wanted sympathy!

Ah, I guess it's one of those things I'll get made fun of for later by my family. They're precious like that!

Re: Someone please tell me I'm overreacting!

I would be upset too. However I think it's best to take some time and calm down. It stinks that no one is evening acknowledging that damage has been done to your car. Just let it go... no one will fess up and it's really not worth straining your relationship with your family and DH.

Re: Someone please tell me I'm overreacting!

Even though you have the right to be upset, I would try to put things into perspective. A car is a car and "things" are always replaceable -- people are not. I don't think it's worth damaging your relationship with SIL or DH. JMO

Re: Someone please tell me I'm overreacting!

awww Sasha! I'm so sorry your new car got scratched up! it stinks, I know.

I have no advice though... I would be mad as he** if my week old car got scratched!

Re: Someone please tell me I'm overreacting!

Thanks to those that responded...and for those that tried to be rational with me.

DH tried to make things up and I really can't stand him right now. Maybe I'm upset about something else, who knows. I know this...I won't let go of this today.

Yes, it's a car...and it's replaceable. But it's MY car and my family is a little too careless with things...a little "sorry" would have gone a long way.

I'll be alright...with time.

Thanks again.

Re: Someone please tell me I'm overreacting!

Definitely take some time... you don't want to say something you don't mean. I would be angry too, especially if I felt like my family just didn't care.

Re: Someone please tell me I'm overreacting!

Re: Someone please tell me I'm overreacting!

Posted by sasha

Thanks to those that responded...and for those that tried to be rational with me.

DH tried to make things up and I really can't stand him right now. Maybe I'm upset about something else, who knows. I know this...I won't let go of this today.

Yes, it's a car...and it's replaceable. But it's MY car and my family is a little too careless with things...a little "sorry" would have gone a long way.

I'll be alright...with time.

Thanks again.

Re: Someone please tell me I'm overreacting!

I'm SO sorry that happened!

Honestly, Sasha, I would be just as upset as you are! I am SUPER protective of my car, I always park far or on ends and for someone to be careless would tick me off! I would hope someone would at least come forward. Things DO happen, and YES, it's just a car, but sometimes people just don't care- and that hurts.

It would take me some time to calm down about it, but I would calm down. You can't really accuse people, because you really don't know how it happened. I'd probably secretly go check their cars to see if someone is lying (LOL), but regardless, I'd be even more careful EVERYWHERE after I got it fixed. I mean, all you can do now is either leave it, or fix it. It already happened. Nothing else you can really do.



ETA: Everyone KNOWS how protective I am of my car. I would probably feel hurt that they weren't careful, but actually okay knowing they told me about what happened (because accidents do happen).

Message edited 6/12/2006 7:40:29 AM.

Re: Someone please tell me I'm overreacting!

Thank you lovelies!! I feel much better today! DH managed to get me to talk to him last night...and he said that although he thinks it may have been an accident by someone from my family (because he's more careful than I am when going out) he knew that they'd deny it because no one wants to upset me and no one wants to pay. He said I should have left it alone and not mentioned anything to them because their reaction was going to get me more upset (and he was right, but I had to say something).

Anyway, he's taking it to get fixed. And then like I said above, I'm parking really far from them! The funny thing is that we went to my brother's house on Friday night and there were cars all over the garage and I kept saying "be careful with my car" and everyone was like "relax, no one's going to hit your car" (in a mocking way) so everyone knew how overprotective I was being (it's my first new car!! ).

So we'll get it fixed...and move on. And I'll just be upset at their lack of care but eventually that too will pass.

Thank you all who understand me!!

Re: Someone please tell me I'm overreacting!

That S U C K S! I would let it go for 2 reasons.... 1) you don't really know who did it since you did not see it happen 2) it sounds like they helped you out a lot yesterday - not that it washes what happened but since you didn't see it you shouldn't accuse. For all you know it happened in the parkinglot when your DH ran errands.

Message edited 6/12/2006 9:51:54 AM.