Sometimes I feel like I am not a good mommy...ETA I think I am having anxiety about going back to work...

As you know, I am almost entirely going at this alone. I am a NYC, career girl, and they didn't teach Mommy 101 when I was getting my Masters degree at NYC (they did teach drinking and typing though-ha)

With Ethan, (who will be 7 wks tomorrow) I feel like I am home all day, freaking stuck here (bc it's so cold) and I am not doing enough to smarten him up developmentally. I play with him on the floor, sing and dance for him, hold him, read to him, but what else should I be doing????? I kiss him all day long and he loves to cuddle with me, though I feel like he is in the swing A LOT, but he is happy there. I feel like with so little time left with him at home (I go back to work in a month) this is my only time to really bond with him and be there for him. What can I do now that will help him in the future?

What do you suggest?

ETA I think the anxiety of leaving him is starting to hit me. How can he be w a stranger all day???? What if he forgets who I am? What if he likes her better than me?
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I can't even breathe thinking he will be with someone else. I have no choice though--I have to work. I am just trying to get the most out of relationship now.

Message edited 2/8/2010 11:19:01 AM.

Re: Sometimes I feel like I am not a good mommy...

Honestly? NOTHING! There is really nothing to do with a baby that young. I had twins so my kid spent a lot fo time in their swings on their playmats. Though is he starting to laugh? You can try to make him laugh--that was always fun. Don't feel guilty though. Do you have a sling? I tried to wear my kids a few times each day and that really helps with bonding I think. I think all new Mom's go through thsi though.

Re: Sometimes I feel like I am not a good mommy...

I don't think there is too much you can do at 7 weeks, other than respond to him and his cries. I learned in my classes that the first 6 months are when they learn that they can rely on others, and this develops a large part of his personality. When he cries, make sure you respond immediately and try to help (even though sometimes nothing may soothe him). That's why they don't advise starting CIO until 6 months.

Re: Sometimes I feel like I am not a good mommy...

Posted by DRMom

Honestly? NOTHING! There is really nothing to do with a baby that young. I had twins so my kid spent a lot fo time in their swings on their playmats. Though is he starting to laugh? You can try to make him laugh--that was always fun. Don't feel guilty though. Do you have a sling? I tried to wear my kids a few times each day and that really helps with bonding I think. I think all new Mom's go through thsi though.

Re: Sometimes I feel like I am not a good mommy...

Honestly, I think you are doing a great job! This age is so hard because there isn't a whole lot you can do with them, and since their eating and sleeping schedules are still all over the place sometimes putting them in the swing is a nice way to get a break

The only thing I would suggest is getting out more. I know it's cold but there are places you can take him (like museums) that are free and warm and you can walk around and feel human again!

Re: Sometimes I feel like I am not a good mommy...

We laugh and talk to each other all day!!!! He wakes up at about 8am every morning and talks to his mobile for about a half hour. I respond to his cries and we have lots of snuggle time, but that's it really.

We play "stick our tongues out" all day long


ETA I think the anxiety of leaving him is starting to hit me. How can he be w a stranger all day???? What if he forgets who I am? What if he likes her better than me?


I can't even breathe thinking he will be with someone else. I have no choice though--I have to work. I am just trying to get the most out of relationship now.

Message edited 2/8/2010 11:17:36 AM.

Re: Sometimes I feel like I am not a good mommy...

It sounds like you are doing everything right!

Neither of my 2 masters prepared me to be a mom and you know what- it just comes and you are the best mom for YOUR dc!

It's a learning curve and we all make mistakes, change what we do. The fact that you care enough to post this shows that you are already doing a great job.

Also, it is SO hard to be home in the winter. It gets more fun in warmer weather and when they get a little more interective

Re: Sometimes I feel like I am not a good mommy...

You are doing great! My degrees didn't prepare me for mommyhood either and I took some child development classes! It's hard in the beginning because you don't know what to do with them all day and then feel guilty (well I do/did) if you don't entertain them every minute of the day. I worry about his development, intellectual stimulation, etc. Some days you just need to take a breath and believe it will be ok. Mommyhood is truly the hardest job and contrary to popular belief, isn't always easy nor does it always come naturally.