| Posted By |
Message |
nyteacher13
Three Under Four!!! :-)
Member since 8/06 6405 total posts
Name:
~ THERESA ~
|
Spinoff to Cheaters... POLL
Agree or disagree with this statement,
"ONCE A CHEATER, ALWAYS A CHEATER."
Personally, I agree with this. I think it's a personality flaw that doesn't just "leave" without the help of a professional. EVEN THEN, I think one always has that predisposition.
Discuss.
|
Posted 6/1/07 10:09 PM  |
| |
|
tsullivan
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/06 788 total posts
Name:
T
|
Re: Spinoff to Cheaters... POLL
Never been in the situation, but I like to give the benefit of the doubt. Yes, some people are just immoral, and will always cheat because they're never happy, always need to see what else is out there, etc.
I also honestly believe that there are people in bad situations who just "fall into" something with someone else. I'm not excusing the behavior or condoning it, but I do believe it can happen, and if it does, maybe the original relationship just wasn't meant to be.
|
| Posted 6/1/07 10:39 PM |
| |
|
MikesWife
Wanting...........
Member since 1/06 6887 total posts
Name:
Karen
|
Re: Spinoff to Cheaters... POLL
I totally disagree.
Let's say you are in high school and cheat on someone it could be that the person just isn't mature enough to grasp the concept of a relationship. As the person gets older they mature. So what they might have done at 16 or 17, they would never do at 27, 37, etc.
|
| Posted 6/2/07 6:30 AM |
| |
|
itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: Spinoff to Cheaters... POLL
Posted by MikesWife
I totally disagree.
Let's say you are in high school and cheat on someone it could be that the person just isn't mature enough to grasp the concept of a relationship. As the person gets older they mature. So what they might have done at 16 or 17, they would never do at 27, 37, etc.
I completely agree with this statement. I put other though because I think sometimes, depending on the situation, the statement can appy. Like if you are married with kids and you cheat - I think that takes a certain lack of morals that may be difficult to change HOWEVER, like mikeswife says in some situations I don't think it is indicative of anything. I cheated on HS and College BF's. I even cheated on DH when he was just my BF over 10 years ago. But since we have been engaged and married I would NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER even come CLOSE to crossing the line. NEVER. I don't even flirt, lol. So for me - I can say I have totally changed - and what changed me - maturity and love 
|
| Posted 6/2/07 8:34 AM |
| |
|
saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
|
Re: Spinoff to Cheaters... POLL
Posted by MikesWife
I totally disagree.
Let's say you are in high school and cheat on someone it could be that the person just isn't mature enough to grasp the concept of a relationship. As the person gets older they mature. So what they might have done at 16 or 17, they would never do at 27, 37, etc.
I agree and well said. when i was younger i cheated, wrong of me i know, but i blame immaturity. i would never cheat on dh now.
|
| Posted 6/2/07 8:38 AM |
| |
|
JTK
my 4 boys!
Member since 6/06 7396 total posts
Name:
Kristi
|
Re: Spinoff to Cheaters... POLL
i disagree.. people do grow up
|
| Posted 6/2/07 8:44 AM |
| |
|
emilain
UNREAL!!!!!!!!
Member since 5/05 4457 total posts
Name:
Mama
|
Re: Spinoff to Cheaters... POLL
Disagree, maybe you;re not getting from one person what you can get from another. Once you find what you need, you need not look any further
|
| Posted 6/2/07 8:46 AM |
| |
|
mtnmama
Member since 5/06 4794 total posts
Name:
|
Message edited 6/29/2009 10:41:53 AM.
|
| Posted 6/2/07 9:25 AM |
| |
|
nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Spinoff to Cheaters... POLL
I think there are two types of cheaters.
(a) Those that are habitual cheaters. Even though they are married/commited to a relationship, they cannot be monogamous - in love with being in love, insecure.
(b) Situational cheaters- lacking something, unhappy in the marriage, the need to feel wanted.
The latter can change; the former cannot.
|
| Posted 6/2/07 9:31 AM |
| |
|
hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
|
Re: Spinoff to Cheaters... POLL
I disagree.
One of my good friends dh cheated on her early on in their marriage (tmi but it was not intercourse). He was hanging out with the wrong crowd (all single people who partied and he fell into it). They were on the verge of divorce. He went away for a few days to visit family and realize how stupid he was being and stopped hanging out with the people. Their relationship eventually got stronger.
|
| Posted 6/2/07 9:39 AM |
| |
|
leighdvm
My golden boys!
Member since 3/06 4419 total posts
Name:
Michele
|
Re: Spinoff to Cheaters... POLL
Posted by MikesWife
I totally disagree.
Let's say you are in high school and cheat on someone it could be that the person just isn't mature enough to grasp the concept of a relationship. As the person gets older they mature. So what they might have done at 16 or 17, they would never do at 27, 37, etc.
Well said! 
|
| Posted 6/2/07 9:52 AM |
| |
|
SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Spinoff to Cheaters... POLL
thankfully I personally have never been in a situation like this, and hopefully I NEVER will be! but IMO, once a cheater always a cheater. the person may not do it again, but the temptation of it will be there - again, IMO.
|
| Posted 6/2/07 10:33 AM |
| |
|
Jessee
LIF Adult
Member since 3/06 1260 total posts
Name:
Jessee
|
Re: Spinoff to Cheaters... POLL
I believe that a lot of times people who cheat when they are younger do so because they are too immature to communicate with their partner. They're unhappy in a situation, and instead of breaking it off, they cheat - sometimes intentionally to get out of a bad situation. Or, they are immature enough to cheat as revenge.
Sometimes, unfortunately, people don't grow up, and carry this behavior into adulthood. I do think this kind of cheating can be fixed with therapy (if and only if the person WANTS to change the behavior).
But, like Barbara said, there are habitual cheaters - those who do it just because they have no self-control and give little thought to the consequences (or for them the consequences are not bad enough to give in to the temporary "pleasures").
|
| Posted 6/2/07 10:38 AM |
| |
|
Nicole728
My Happy Girl
Member since 7/06 8198 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: Spinoff to Cheaters... POLL
I disagree, b/c as some of the other ladies said, it depends on the situation.
I believe age and maturity has a lot to do with it as well.
I cheated on my ex...with DH ..yes wrong...I was 17..but we've been together ever since and I would NEVER cheat on him or vice versa.
I've realized just what a healthy and happy relationship is
edited for spelling
Message edited 6/2/2007 11:17:20 AM.
|
| Posted 6/2/07 11:05 AM |
| |
|
cj7305
=)
Member since 8/05 12296 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Spinoff to Cheaters... POLL
Posted by leighdvm
Posted by MikesWife
I totally disagree.
Let's say you are in high school and cheat on someone it could be that the person just isn't mature enough to grasp the concept of a relationship. As the person gets older they mature. So what they might have done at 16 or 17, they would never do at 27, 37, etc.
Well said!
Yup, totally agree. People do stupid things when they are young & immature. Age, maturing, finding the right relationship can change people. Of course there are some people that never grow out of it and it is a flaw in their personality.
|
| Posted 6/2/07 11:09 AM |
| |
|
princess99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3944 total posts
Name:
ME
|
Re: Spinoff to Cheaters... POLL
Was enagged once a long time ago, before I met my DH and he cheated on me, I never trusted him ever again. Then he tried to get back together with me and I had met my DH, he was my boyfriend at the time almost my FH now my DH of 3 years, and I was appalled.I had to get a lawyer to get him to leave me alone. It worked, but his poor wife must be so miserable by now... oh well.....
|
| Posted 6/2/07 11:25 AM |
| |
|
JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: Spinoff to Cheaters... POLL
Posted by MikesWife
I totally disagree.
Let's say you are in high school and cheat on someone it could be that the person just isn't mature enough to grasp the concept of a relationship. As the person gets older they mature. So what they might have done at 16 or 17, they would never do at 27, 37, etc.
I think in general, I believe "once a cheater, always a cheater" but I was going to say the above. I think there's just a maturity aspect as well, or a "readiness" for a relationship. I kissed other guys when I was in HS and early college. There was a lot going on for me, stress-wise, FH being away, and then also when he first mentioned marriage I kind of freaked out. But a LOT has changed in a few years.
|
| Posted 6/3/07 8:38 PM |
| |
|
VirginiaDeb
Don't eat me, hippo!
Member since 5/05 9252 total posts
Name:
Deb
|
Re: Spinoff to Cheaters... POLL
I think many times cheating is the result of something else that is missing in a relationship.
My father cheated on my mother, and it's not forgivable at all... but he married the woman that he cheated on my mother with and has been faithful. The cheating was a symptom of the fact that he was not happy with my mother. I honestly don't know how those two ever got married.
So, I think in some cases the above quote is true, but in many others it's not.
|
| Posted 6/3/07 8:41 PM |
| |
|
VirginiaDeb
Don't eat me, hippo!
Member since 5/05 9252 total posts
Name:
Deb
|
Re: Spinoff to Cheaters... POLL
Posted by nrthshgrl
I think there are two types of cheaters.
(a) Those that are habitual cheaters. Even though they are married/commited to a relationship, they cannot be monogamous - in love with being in love, insecure.
(b) Situational cheaters- lacking something, unhappy in the marriage, the need to feel wanted.
The latter can change; the former cannot.
I agree with this.
|
| Posted 6/3/07 8:43 PM |
| |
|
smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
|
Re: Spinoff to Cheaters... POLL
Totally disagree!
Depends on the age, situation, etc. Some people would cheat because they want to, it's a game, a thrill. Some cheat because they don't know how to fix a bad personal situation and "make a mistake", etc... but would never cheat again.
There are different kinds of cheaters.
|
| Posted 6/3/07 8:43 PM |
| |
|
pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
|
Re: Spinoff to Cheaters... POLL
I do not agree with that statement at all...I think people (well some people) make mistakes and learn from them
|
| Posted 6/3/07 10:10 PM |
| |
|
